Family Guy: The Spin-off seires (Season 1)

Episode 2: No Place Like Home

Chapter 10: Time to Set Things Straight

A/N: Last chapter of the story! You can feel the tension in the air rising as the story continues on. When we last left the girls, Stan and Peter had just finished putting the machine in reverse to give the girls their Chemical X back. But, they might've done something that could've even killed them in the process. Will the girls make it out of this alive? Will Townsville and the Griffins for that matter learn the true story of what happened up in the observatory? And what will end up being the fates of our heroes, our dysfunctional family, and that talking Chicken? Keeping reading and reviewing! And RxR!

Disclaimer: I do not own either show. The Powerpuff Girls belongs to Craig McCracken and Family Guy belongs to Seth MacFarlane. The only things that are mine are the episode ideas you are reading.

My next fanfiction, I will start working as soon as this one is done. It is called 'Spooky Substitute', and I will reveal the summary for that at the end of the chapter, so keep reading to find out what happens after this! Oh, and that little bit that was in chapter 6, that was a reference to the famous Telethon sketch on Robot Chicken, I'll get to it. Don't you worry about that! (think of it as a replay of the Robot Chicken Season 2 finale/Season 3 Premiere)

Now, enjoy!

TV-PG-LV

The smoke that came from the now destroyed machine filled the observatory; nothing could be seen, and nobody could see. Peter and Stan desperately waited for the smoke to clear to see if the girls were alive or dead. The smoke was thick and unbearable. Most people would think it's carbon monoxide. But it wasn't. It was just really, really thick gas.

And when it finally cleared, it showed all three girls, unconscious on the floor. They were barely breathing, barely alive. Peter rushed to their aid to see if they still had a pulse. Not only did they have a pulse, but it was faster than ever, and so were their heartbeats. But considering they've been so slow these past few days, it's actually a good thing.

"Oh god, girls. Come on, please wake up! You have to pull through!" Peter pleaded as he picked up their 'lifeless' bodies. "Oh girls, you can't die on me now! I'll never be able to show my face on national television again! I'm too pretty, and successful in beauty pagents!"

(Cue Cutaway)

The lights were down, the audience was deathly ill--silent, silent. The judges were ready with their decision. Who was going to win the 7th annual 'Ms. America' pagent.

"Ms. Patricia Griffin," THe judge called to Peter, who went by the name of 'Patricia' for the competitiop, and was dressed up like a backstage hooker. The judge walked over to him, and held up a tiny, tiny, bronze, possibly plastic, and handed it to him. "YOu win the first award of the night."

Peter took the little trophy and was estatic, despite the fact that, even though he said 'first', the judge did not plan on giving him any awards at all. "Wow, oh my god! First place! Oh I've never won anything in my life!"

"Firrst pla-"

"I'm going to treasure this trophy and pass my fame as a hooker down to my children and wife!"

"But Ms. P-"

"I'm going to sell this online and see how much it's worth! I-"

"MS. GRIFFIN! You did not win!"

"W-What?"

"You! Did! Not! Win! This trophy is simply for being in the competition. In fact, I'd say it's worth somewhere between 50 and 75ยข!"

"You lie!"

"-sigh-, look, Ms. Patricia. You-You didn't even participate in the swimsuit portion, your talent of tooting Bethoveen's Fifth was just...atrocious, and you came into the Po'ise portion completely drunk. What do you have to say for yourself?"

'Patricia' stood there in agony, having learned that he only gets a trophy for having been accepted to participate in the competition, which, quite francally, he doesn't really deserve. "I'm gonna punch you in the face!"

(End Cutaway)

"And after that day, I have sworn never again to enter another beauty pagent after I was humiliated like I was."

"What the hell does a beauty pagent have to do with our current situation?"

"I'm just saying, ok? It's called a filler, douche! Look, we-we got, like, twenty minutes to cover, and...and there's not much material that we haven't used yet, so just bare with me."

"OK, but I still don't understand what a-"

"Hey, tweedledee and tweedledumb!" Came a familiar voice from behind them. They turned around to see who it was, only to be shocked to see the three formerly befallen Powerpuff Girls floating in the air, with their game-faces on, as if they had never taken any damage at all. They did look tired, though. "If you two are done arguing, we'd like to get out of here before Mojo wakes up!"

"Oh my god, girls! You're alive!" Peter shouted with glee, almost throwing his arms out to them. Stan simply looked stunned.

"I know. They're alive. They're alive. Do you know what this means?" Stan paused for a moment and looked at Peter like he was completely insane. Then he turned in the girls' direction, pointed at them, and then pulled out a gun. "Witches!" He started shooting at them like crazy, as if his animal instincts had taken over. He continued to shoot uncontrollably at them, not sure what was going on. Of course, if you had never heard of the Powerpuff Girls, you'd be confused like him as well.

"Whoa, stop it, you crazy punk! Stop it!!" Peter started grabbing the gun away from Stan as he continued shooting. He managed to get the gun away from Stan, drop it on the floor, and stomp on it several times. Then he panted several times to catch his breath, and then glanced at Stan like he was a crazy drunk. "What were you thinking, you crazy bpunk!?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just...I've heard stories about these girls, but I've never actually seen them in person, let alone flying."

"Clearly."

"But I'm cool now."

But sadly this would only last a few seconds, because right at that moment, a siren started wailing all over the observatory, and suddenly a big, electronic timer descended from above, and read in big, blue numbers: Time until self destruction, and below, the timer read :60.

"OKay...either this is 9/11 all over again, or this place is gonna blow."

"Oh, you think? What gave that away, that big, blue sign that reads 'Time until self destruction', or the wailing siren!"

"Hey, don't get mad at me! I'm a CIA agent, not a cardiologist! Now come on, we've got to get the hell outta here!" And so Peter, Stan, and the three girls took off in the direction of a broken window so they could escape before the place blew up.

It looked like they were going to make it with time to spare, but all of a sudden, one of the storage closets was making a lot of noise, so they decided to investigate. They opened the closet door, and discovered a female and a male tied up in rope, and hankercheifs covering their mouths, and another guy tied up in his own rope, nothing covering his mouth.

"What the--Lori Beth Denburg and Danny Tamberelli!"

"Who?" Peter asked.

"You know, from that hit Nickelodeon show 'All That'? They were the hosts of that hysterical sketch 'Vital Information'. Lori Beth was first, and then Danny took over before it was removed in season 7 when the cast was completely replaced but then it came back for the live special, the tenth anniversery special, and then continued in Season 10 with Lil' JJ before it was cancelled?"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on hang on. Was that the sketch where this little girl hangs in a jakoozi with some deceased guests?"

"That's Amanda's Jakoozi on the Amanada Show."

"The two douchebags in the dumb restaurant?"

"Good Burger."

"The skit where there's a person sitting at a desk and they're supposed to give you 'helpful information' for everyday life but instead give you luticris crap and parody fun stuff from little kid world such as 'Three Blind Mice'?"

"That's the one."

"You know I actually tried out for that show once."

"Really? How come you weren't picked?"

"Well..."

(Cue Cutaway)

"And now, some vital information for your everyday life, with your host, Peter Griffin."

"Thanks, Tom. We all get sick once in a while, and that's just nature's way of telling us that we need to take it easy. So the next time you get sick, rub a large ham all over your body. You won't feel any better, but you'll smell like ham, and there's the distinct possibility that your friends and family will call you a whore."

"Uh, Mr. Griffin, that's no--"

"H-Hang on, hang on. I got it. Monkey see, Monkey do. Now we all know Monkey's can't see, but for the love of Christ, they always step in their doo. A hahahaha!"

"Mr. Griffin, that's not in the script--"

"A-duh-duh-duh-duh! Let me handle this! Now, if your brassiere is too tight, then it's uncomfortable. If you're a guy and your bra is too tight, chances are you've just had an erection. If you drink some apple juice and it's warm, odds are, your father just had an erection."

"Mr. Griffin, please! Stick to the script."

"This is in the script, dumbass! When in Rome, do as the Romans would do. When a truck runs over your foot, you scream 'Aaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuggghhhh F#CK! There's a f#cking truck wheel on my foot! F#ck it hurts! Oh! Ah!' Sh#t!"

"When you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. When you step on a rusty nail, you scream in pain, swear under your breath, and then strangle to death the nearest homosexual you can find."

"If you have a fear of spiders, you have arachnophobia. If you have a fear of breathing, you have about four minutes to live."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away." Peter then took out a fresh apple, and threw it off camera, and it happened to hit Dr. Hartman.

"If you spell 'Algebra' backwards, you get 'Arbegla', which, I think, is a French term for 'Serial Killer', so the next time you hear someone say that, turn the other way and run like hell! Trust me!"

"Too much junk food will make you fat! Too much soda will bloat your stomach. Sex with too many women whose names you don't even know will give you the world's biggest family and force you to kill yourself."

"Hey, where's Eeny and Miney, Mighty Moe. A hahahahaha! Classic. What a douche!"

"Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Peppers. Who gives a f#ck!"

"The only reason it's so much fun to play in the snow, is because evidentally, snow is made from the semen that everyone gives off after having an erection."

Peter pulled out a globe. "This is no way to treat our world." He then proceeded to punch it and completely shatter it, and then turned back to the camera. "Now if you're the president of the United States, and you're watching this, then you're just a fat piece of work, you scumbag! It's your fault 9/11 happened when it did, it's your fault our soldiers are in Iraq fighting in this damn war, and it's your fault we're all not only lazy and fat, but stupid as well! If you're watching this right now, get off your ass and fix our country!" And with that, Peter wrapped up his sketch, and left the building, and he did not even realize along the way that everyone had already left and he was all alone.

"Boy am I a shoe-in to get the part."

One Week Later...Peter was on the phone with the director of 'All That', discussing his audition. "What do you mean I didn't get the part?"

(End Cutaway)

A/N: This cutaway pays tribute to 'All That', a classic show back in the 1990's, which will always be remembered by us fans. I wanted to use this cutaway in a later story, but the ideas kept burning in my head, and I couldn't wait any longer.

"OK, I'm going to have to stop you right there and explain to you everything that was wrong with those statements and why you did not get the part. But right now, we have to get the hell outta here!"

"Thirty seconds until detination." A computerized-voice announced, overtaking the voices of Peter and Stan.

"Oh crap, we're never going to make it!" Peter yelled. "The only possible way is if we could, oh I don't know," He started talking really fast. "Fly in the skies at aout 267 mph and hover down to the ground without injurying ourselves before this entire place explodes. inhales" He smiled triumphetly as if he had said something intelligent, which he did. Unfortunately, that was already suggested just moments before. Stan stared at him as if he was looney, deranged, or even retarded, which he was.

"You're...You're kidding right?"

"Who are you?" Came a blank question from Peter, as Stan slapped his forehead.

"Move it, you bastard!" Stan shoved Peter in the direction of the hole Ernie made when he was pushed out of the observatory. Only precious seconds remained until the entire observatory blew up in flames and took the two fat people ("I'm not that fat!" Remarked Stan) and the girls along with it.

"Ten seconds until detination..."

They finally arrived at the big hole and all jumped out at once, while the girls just took off heading for the ground, having to endure Peter and Stan screaming like little girls.

"Oh no, we're falling! Really fast!"

"I want my mommy! I want my mommy!"

"I'm too young and sexy to die like this!"

"If we get outta here in one piece, I'll apologize to the world for framing O.J. Simpson for all those murders I caused but the world really framed him for it so I wouldn't have to worry about it!"

"I'll spend more time with my family a--wait, that was you!?"

"Um...no. I'm, just...talking out of my ass."

They continued to fall. A 200 ft free fall from the top of the observatory, which, as of now...

"Three...two...one..."

BOOM!...had blown up. But luckily, the girls, Peter, and Stan were all out of there in time to avoid an early grave. But the impact of the landing...not so pretty. It could have severely disfigured the two of them and left them paralyzed. But the fortunate part of this is that all if did was leave a few bruises.

Lois, Brian, and Stewie rushed over to their aids. "Peter! Oh my god, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." Peter said having trouble standing up on his own. Lois had to help him off the ground, and once he was safely standing, he turned to the crowd, who was awwing with disbelief and with some guilt like they had done something wrong.

"Oh, so you all think this is funny, don't you!? First, the girls, and now my husband! How heartless can you be!?"

"Wait!" The three now active girls shouted to her, trying to stop her annoying rant.

"Not now girls. I'm telling the--girls! You're...you're flying. SO does this mean you're all better."

"Oh no." Buttercup replied sarcastically. "Your daughter was right. We really are ancestors of that Houdinii guy. We can do all sorts of tricks. Make fire and ice come out of our mouths, fly around the wor--YES, We're all better!"

"Buttercup!" The red-head turned to the brunette, not looking happy, and then turned back to a scared Lois. "Don't worry, Mrs. Griffin. We know what's been going on."

"It's not Townsville's fault!"

"We can explain everything." Bubbles continued.

"Yeah! They can explain everything!" Peter remarked, referring to the three girls, who now look at him with confusion and disgust. "Well don't look at me. Technically, I'm retarded." And with that, he walked off to the side, where Stan was standing at, watching the action unfold.

"So, now what!?"

"What? Those girls are gonna explain to everyone what's been happening?" He replied to the CIA agent as he got out a deck of cards.

"So, in that case why the hell are you getting out a box of cards?"

"'Cause we're gonna be here a while. That pink-eyed girl with the bow always takes a long time to get her point across. In fact, every time I'm near him, I contemplate thoughts of suicide."

"Wow. Never thought of it that way."

"And have you ever noticed that if you look at her closely without her red bow, she kinda looks like a boy."

"A boy?" Stan squinted his eyes real tight and looked towards Blossom's direction. "You know what, you're right. She does kinda look like a guy."

"I guarentee you she'll have a sex change by the age of twenty."

"Nah. Seventeen, or perhaps even younger."

"Yeah. Well..." Peter wiped the dripping sweat from his head. "this looks like a win-win to me. We saved the girls, that monkey with the dumb hat's probably dead, and I've been reunited with my old college buddy."

"Kind of a crazy adventure, huh?"

"I've had worse. Like when I went on Millionaire to try and win some money to get an abortion with Stewie with my wife."

"Was it with Regis or Meredith?"

"Regis. I hate Meredith. In fact, I was the last contestant he had before he quit."

"But didn't he quit in 2002 and was replaced with Meredith in '04."

"Yeah."

"So what made him quit early? Poor rating? Low wage?"

"Nooooo..."

(Cue Cutaway)

The lights were up, the audiences was cheering, and the focus was on Peter, who had just taken a seat in the hotseat and was about to play for a Million Dollars. Regis was his host.

"OK Peter, you know the rules, you know your three lifelines. 50:50, Ask the Audience, and Phone-a-Friend. You're only fifteen questions away from One Million Dollars. So if you're ready, let's play!"

The lights went down as the audience cheered. The 100 Dollar question came up.

"Alright, Peter, for a hundred dollars..."

"In Medical History, the female equivalent to a male penis, also known as a female reproductive organ, is referred to by medical experts as a what? A. Uterus. B. Vagina. C. Anus. D. Nutcracker." The audience and Peter laughed out loud as choice D came up.

A/N: This is actually going to be a salute and a reference to the Robot Chicken sketch during the 'Half-assed Christmas Special' where the Elf wanted to persue outside dreams (I Forgot the name) and to the syndicated 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' show, where as during the One Hundred Dollar question, Choice D always was a joke.

"Heh-heh-heh-heh, anus. Funny. Oh wow. I really have no idea. And I've been doing my wife for sixteen years, she's gonna kill me. Uh, you know what, I'm gonna go with D. Nutcracker. Final Answer."

Regis looked at Peter with total disgust and angst. I mean, come on. Even Charlie Gordon knows a woman's reporductive organ that's the equivalent to a male penis is a vagina.

"A woman's reproductive organ is a nutcracker!?" Regis yelled to his face, as the lights came up signalling the end of PEter's game. "You know nothing about genetalia!"

"Who gives a f#ck about that when this question obviously has to do something with me plowing your wife last night."

"That doesn't even make sense!'

"Neither did her theory on plowing!"

"Ok, you know what, screw this!" Regis replied while getting out a gun and shooting Peter right in his right shoulder. The audience cheered in delight at what Regis just did.

(End Cutaway)

"You know I always thought Regis quit because the popularity of the show dropped too much."

"Well that was the original reason, but not for another 4 months, but you know, the incident with me really left him scarred for life. In fact, eight months later, he ended up going for triple bypass. Glad he made it out though."

"Yeah. So, uh, what about that girl..." Stan referred to Blossom, who was in the middle of explaining the entire situation to everyone.

"Well, from the looks of it, I say we have at least 10 minutes. What do ya wanna do until then?"

"Hmm..."

41 minutes later...

Peter and Stan managed to find a way to keep themselves occupied long enough to not have commited suicide from listening to Blossom's explanation for so long. They decided to play a game of charades...and doing very poorly, I might add. It was Peter's turn, and he was doing what a mime would if he was imitating being trapped inside a box.

"Oh, oh uh...Daniel Radcliff...uh? No, John McCain! Oh, that's not right. Um...George Bush? Ryan Seacrest?" What Stan didn't know is that Peter had stopped acting.

"Dude, how the hell is this..." He started imitating the trapped in box thing again. "...John McCain?"

"I don't know. But when I see someone doing that, I-I think of a gay."

"John McCain is not gay!"

"He's not! Well then who is?"

"I don't know, but it ain't that guy. He could be the future president of America! God I hope so. He's a good man...oh it looks like they're done over there."

"Oh then let's go see." Stan and Peter investigated the scene as it looked like Blossom had just finished explaining to everyone the situation.

"And that's how it all happened."

"Wow...so Mojo built a mind control device and used it on all of Townsville and made us think we didn't love you anymore?"

"Uh huh."

"And made us force you to do pointless chores such as light-bulb changing, sweeping up people's homes, rescuing babies from skyscrapers, and he even managed to brain-wash the villians to ban together to wear you girls out and put you on the chopping block?"

"Exactly!"

"And then he programmed that robot to detonate at the exact moment to have you crash land in the Griffin's yard!"

"Well, I don't know about that, Professor. That was probably just a freak accident."

"But, if it hadn't happened..." Bubbles continued, flying across to each of the Griffin family. "...we wouldn't have met such a great family," She then made her way down to Stewie. "and such a cute baby!" SHe pinched his cheek and gave him a bear hug.

"Leave. Me. Alone." He whispered to her, angrily grinding his teeth together. "Please. Leave me alone."

"Aww, you're so funny." Bubbles picked him up, carried him up into the air, and let Townsville see her give Stewie a kiss. They awwed simultaneously as Stewie only growled. The Mayor of Townsville went up to the family to give his thanks.

"Well, Powerpuff Girls, once again, you saved the day, and the town! And to whatever hurt we may have caused you in these past few weeks, we apologize, and as a peace offering, we will allow you to continue harboring in the Griffin home."

"Really?" Asked a curious Brian. "That...That's not really much of a peace offering."

"Yeah, what the hell? That's like George Clooney promising Drey Carry an orgasm." Stewie commented while still in Bubbles's grasp.

"Well, see...oh you guys are going to laugh...the Townsville police officers...accidentally put in some bombs in the Utonium's house, and...it already...blew up."

"What!?"

"Oh no!"

"Our poor house!"

"What the hell!?"

"STEALER!!" Stan's reaction to what the Mayor said really shocked everyone else.

"St-Stealer?" Lois was the first to question Stan's action. "W-What are you talking about?"

"Well, see, several years ago, some new hypersonic censoring time bombs were stolen from the CIA Headquarters in Washington. They were installed on the inside walls, and they're barely even bigger than a ladybug. They could detect intruders who are up to 1,000 feet away. They were set to go out on sale for home-security with final shipping prices at 1,250 dollars. But since they were stolen, they never got out. Plus, they were going to be installed into the World Trade Center. They could've rescued thousands of lives that were lost on that faithful day."

"Superbowl day!?" THe Mayor asked stupidly. Honestly, he was worse than Peter.

"No, you dumbass. 9/11."

"No, you're the douchebag. It's called 9-0-2-1-0."

"Oh you know what, screw this! You stole those detection devices and you know it!"

"I thought those were carniverous earwigs!"

"Oh that's it!" And with that, Stan grabbed his gun and shot the mayor several times. "Take that, you bastard! No one messes with our country and gets away with it."

And with Stan having shot the Mayor and having him taken to the hospital, the Griffins, the Powerpuffs, and the Professor, have returned home to relax and remeniss on their past adventure. They were all gathered around on the couch, and the girls were sound asleep, being comforted by Peter, Lois, and the Professor. Peter had Buttercup, Lois had Blossom, and the Professor had Bubbles...sorta. She kinda chose to nap with Stewie. (Psycho)

"Boy, some few weeks, huh?" Brian said to the family, breaking the awkward silence.

"I tell you, Brian, these have been the strangest few weeks of my life. And I"ve had worse."

"We've all had worse. But the important thing is that everyone made it out safely and the girls are back to normal." The Professor commented. "At least now when they go to sleep I know everything's going to be fine. It's just going to take a little time for us to get adjusted to this new lifestyle."

"I really can't believe my old college buddy is living with my family now." Peter remarked gleefully, while Meg was less cheery.

"I can't believe a CIA agent shot an authority figure."

"Come on, Meg. You heard him say it. Nobody likes him. Besides, he doesn't even know what 9/11 is."

"Neither did you until 2004."

"OH yeah. Well," He then stood up and went for the front door. "Well, if anyone needs me, I'll be on the other side of town for the all-you-can-eat Canadian Shnitzel bar." He left through the front door with a gleeful smile on his face, while the rest of the family exchanged confused looks to each other.

The End. For Now.

Well that wraps it up for this story. But I'm not through yet. I've still got plenty of adventures in store for our heroes...and that dumb family, the Griffins. SO, uh, stay tuned.

Next time: Spooky Substitute - An open school night gone wrong leads to Peter getting a new job.

Expected updated: August 20th