Tmw your epilogue is longer than all ur other chapters.
thanks for sticking around. Lets close out the stupidity on a positive note. Rock's part of Yag's posse now. :3. Adorable.
(EDIT 9/19): Taking Shit- Talking Shit. Best typo of the year lol. I'll star it*
"... wait… so you're saying you broke Iori Yagami's arm in a 1-on-1 street fight? Bullshit."
Rock grinned and shook his head. No. He wasn't bullshitting… he was just exaggerating - a little bit. Just enough to spice up the story. There was nothing wrong with that, right? Rock Howard put on his most rugged face and tried to sound disinterested as he replied. He wasn't disinterested. He was extremely excited… but being excited wasn't manly, right? The girls don't like that... right?
"The guy's not that big a deal… not to me anyways. I mean, he's just like anyone else. I've broken plenty of arms, I can't really say his was much different."
Some scoffed. Some whispered to each other in low voices. Still others stared at him in unabashed wonder. All eyes were on him, and he was drinking up the attention. He kept right on going.
"Dunno why, but he was really shocked that I could fight him. Well I mean, he was pretty good…but you know." Rock gave his best nonchalant shrug. "I helped him up. He asked me to join the band. The rest is history. I just finished auditioning yesterday, actually, so it's official. No bullshit."
His small audience chittered, some in disbelief, some in delight. Rock planted his elbow against the table and leaned his chin against his hand. He was sitting with his friends at one of the tables in the campus's mess halls for lunch when he told them the exciting news. They were the ones who initially encouraged him to try and join the band. Evidently, despite their encouragement, none of them really thought he would make it. When he told them he was officially the newest member of Iori's band, they just laughed.
They made such a ruckus that other people inevitably heard snippets of their conversation and gathered around. A girl with blonde pigtails tugged on his sleeve.
"So, um… Rock, Right? Are you telling me that you actually met him?! What's he like!"
Yeah, the crowd wasn't his usual group… There were a disproportionate amount of girls gathered around him. It was making him nervous. And when Rock Howard got nervous, he found himself fibbing. Twisting stories around, mixing facts, being creative. Oh, it was quite unintentional - but it usually led to wild exaggerations. Three minutes in and he was pretty much lying through his teeth.
"Yup. I did meet him. He's uh… well he was really serious about fighting, you know - just like in the tournaments. He was trying to intimidate me the whole time, but after I beat him up, he started showing me some respect. A pretty cool guy, overall."
Rock nodded and grinned as the girls chattered with each other. The guys rolled their eyes and grumbled. They weren't buying Rock's story, but at this point he didn't care. There were girls here, and as long as there were girls here, he would just keep going.
"Of course, if he wasn't cool, I wouldn't join. It's not like I went out looking for him either. I just ran into him on the street and we started fighting. After I won, he was pretty much begging for-..."
Rock's cellphone, which had been sitting on the table, began buzzing loudly. It rattled violently against the plastic tabletop, drawing the eyes of the crowd. They leaned in to read the caller ID.
'IORI (BAND)'
*Brrrrrr*
The girls squealed before turning to stare expectantly at him. More people had gathered around the table. There were whispers in the group, but for the most part, they remained silent.
All eyes were on him.
His eyes were on it.
He suddenly recalled that Iori Yagami was essentially a supernatural being. If he could control flames, who could say he didn't have weird mind-powers… maybe he knew Rock was talking about him… does he know I'm talking shit?!*
One of his friends saw his hesitation and snatched up the phone before he could. Rock turned to try to grab it from him, but it was too late. His friend squinted at the number, then loudly proclaimed:
"Ey, Rocky. I kinda recognize this number… I bet you just changed your Dad's contact name or something, right?"
"Holy Shit, Adam! Don't-"
With a wicked grin, Adam answered the call and laid the phone down on the tabletop. He leaned over to shout into the receiver. The rest of the crowd leaned in with him. They had fallen into a hopeful silence.
"Hey, Mr. Terry! How are you doing today?"
*...*
The silence turned awful. A couple of people began turning away, shaking their heads and muttering to each other. The guys in his group all began grinning and poking at him. The girls made disappointed noises. Rock stared stubbornly at the phone. Please don't hang up, man… Don't do this to me.
"Hehehe, Gotcha Rocky! You thought you could tri-"
Rock elbowed Adam in the shoulder and opened his mouth to protest. He had never wanted to hear the sound of Iori's feral snarling so badly. His entire social life was on the line right now, and all he needed was Iori to start yelling. Oh, come on. Please…
Iori began spitting into the phone. Rock's face lit up.
*... Who the fuck is this and where the fuck is Howard?!*
Iori's weird accent couldn't be mistaken for anything. The girls in the group began screaming. Adam reeled as if he'd been struck. His friends stared at him, speechless. Rock grinned, flipped them off and snatched up his phone.
*What the hell is going on! Talk or I'll come and bash your brains out! Did you assholes fucking kidnap my bassist? Because I will fu-*
"Hey, sorry about that. What's up."
*-ck you up! I'm going to come find you and melt your eyeballs. Tell me where you are s-!*
Rock shushed the crowd then leaned in to interrupt Iori before he got too graphic. He sounded drunk again. He was normally quite terse, but when he was on pain meds he really could talk forever. The crowd quickly fell silent and leaned in to listen.
"Hey! Iori it's me. I'm fine. Don't do anything alright? My friends are just kinda loud… did you need something?"
*Yeah I did. I wanted to ask… uh…*
Rock sighed in relief. If Iori needed something, it meant he wasn't telekinetic, and wasn't calling to bust apart Rock's elaborate lies.
*...Wait, Shit…*
There was a sizeable pause. Rock blinked and smiled blandly at his cell. The crowd murmured and chuckled. Miss Pigtails cupped her face in both hands and stared dreamily at the phone.
*... God damn. I think these painkillers are giving me Alzheimer's. Anyways, I need a favour. Remember CYS?*
"C...Y…?" Miss Pigtails quickly googled for him. He leaned over and read her phone before nodding his thanks. "You mean that one band that … died… three years ago?"
*Yeah, them. So, that Yashiro bitch is like a clingy fucking ex. He's mad about some gig I stole from him forever ago and-... well whatever. He can't beat me in a fight, so he challenged me to that dancing arcade game. You know? The footsies one?*
"Uh...Dance Dance Revolution?... Wait what do you mean he is mad. He WAS mad… right?"
*Stop being a bitch and listen, okay? So, I've gotta go play DDR with that dick, but my arm is in two pieces and I've got a bruise the size of New Hampshire on my left butt. I look like a fucking penguin when I walk and it's great. I love it. Anyways, there's no way I'm gonna dance. I need you to stand in for me. They're gonna be there at two.*
Rock blinked. The crowd murmured.
"Hey, Iori… CYS isn't around anymore. They're dead."
*So what? You have something against dead people? Don't be racist. Are you gonna play or not? I'll pay you if that's the problem. Anyways, I'll try to join you, but Vice and Mature just came back and they're trying to make up for a year of not eating anything. I don't think these fatties are gonna be done anytime soo- Ow, OW! Stop it!*
It was taking a moment for Rock to process all the information he was being given. The crowd had fallen into a confused silence as well.
"Wait… a year?!... what do you mean a year?! Are-" Rock squinted at his cellphone. "Hey, Yagami… are you ok? Are you sure those were painkillers? Maybe you should go lie down somewhere."
Iori was preoccupied with being pinched and didn't hear anything Rock said. It was a full minute before he returned. He seemed intent on roping Rock into his strange - and frankly impossible- plan.
*Alright, kid. So you down? Get your ass to the arcade on seventh and beat Yashiro so he stops calling me. I'll tell him you're my stand in. You don't need to worry about beating Shermie, and Chris won't bother playing. He's more into the shooters. Say hi to him for me if I can't make it.*
Rock stared blankly at the phone. He was a bit fixated on the fact that his proposed opponents had died and been buried for three years. Dead people didn't just come back to life. And they definitely didn't come back to play DDR.
Vice and Mature haven't EATEN in a year? … yeah. He's just hallucinating…
Iori was clearly suffering another bout of insanity… Right? If he wasn't, he couldn't be so completely unphased by the absurdity of this scenario. Of course, Rock was still trying to figure his boss out, he had only spent a total of, perhaps, two hours in Iori's company. During yesterday's audition, the man had been all business. They simply sat down in a music store with a guitar and worked their way through a Beatles album. The fact that Iori could behave so normally made it that much more jarring when halfway through 'Here Comes the Sun', he stood up and loudly threatened to snap his own neck if the voice in his head didn't shut up.
Rock looked down at his phone and grimaced. How the hell was he supposed to beat a dead person in DDR. What would happen if he just didn't go… nothing, Right?
Iori didn't wait for him to figure stuff out. He kept right on talking.
*Anyways, you were probably thinking Yashiro is the main threat, but lemme tell you. Shermie's completely nuts. I've played against her every year for the past three years and I've never won. She's absolutely ridiculous. She plays in fucking heels too! It's like getting beaten to death with a teaspoon. It's fucking embarrassing, I'm-*
The girl with pigtails leaned over to speak into the receiver. Her voice was full of concern. Rock was too engaged with his own thoughts to stop her.
"Hi! Mr. Yagami, sir. Did Rock Howard really break your arm? Will you be okay? It's not permanent, right?"
Rock almost died on the spot.
*-starting to think she uses her lightning to chea-* Iori heard the interruption and stopped talking immediately. There was a long pause, then Iori's voice dropped into a hostile snarl.
*Who the hell are you?!*
Miss Pigtails seemed startled at the rough response. She stuttered as she spoke. Rock was more scared than she was. He wanted to sink into the ground.
"Oh, I-I'm just Rock's… uh, friend. He t-told us… uh… he said… "
*Wait, have I been on fucking speaker this whole time?*
"..."
The members of the crowd looked guiltily at each other. Silence reigned. It was the only answer Iori needed.
*God, Rock. What the hell man. Alright, whatever. What did you say, miss?*
Miss Pigtails continued to stutter.
"R-Rock … broke your arm?"
*... what?*
"He s-said he broke… uh… he beat you in a fight... "
*Rock Howard said he beat ME?*
"Y-yes?... I-I'm sorry... Uh... "
There was a long pause, then Iori barked from the phone speakers.
*Howard! Yes!?*
Deadly silence permeated the air. The crowd looked to him. His friends weren't smirking anymore. The pigtails girl was staring holes in his skull. Rock wanted to run away. He had lied through his teeth - and now he was going to pay for it. This story would spread through his school like wildfire. Nobody would ever believe him again… maybe Iori would get pissed and kick him from the band too… then he really would have nothing. Why am I such an idiot… oh god…
Rock leaned over the phone. He tried to keep his voice from shaking.
"Yeah. That's … what I told them."
*...*
Rock stared at the table. There was a pit of dread in his gut. Everything was crumbling around him. He closed his eyes and waited for Iori to begin railing at him.
*... You're his friend?*
Rock flinched. Miss Pigtails piped up.
"Yes!"
*Then you're a shitty one. Why don't you believe him? Are you gonna call and confirm everything he says? Are you a lawyer or something?*
The crowd murmured. Rock raised his head in disbelief.
*If he said he broke my arm, then he broke my arm. Don't waste my time with stupid questions. My people aren't liars... And Howard, since you decided it was a good idea to snap my shoulder, you're going to the arcade and playing for me. No excuses.*
If Iori had been sitting next to him, Rock would've tried to hug him.
*Anyways, I've gotta warn you. Don't get distracted by Shermie's tits. They're like fucking balloons, man. You've gotta put blinders on when you play her. Yashiro is actually pretty ass at DDR, so you'll win as long as you're not staring at Shermie. I'll meet you there as soon as Vice and Mature finish stuffing their faces. Arcade on Seventh. Don't disappoint me.*
"O-okay. Thanks-… I mean, yeah I'll go play."
*Great. Go kick his ass. Also, if you lose, I'm blowing up your house. No pressure.*
"Wai-"
*Click*
- you deffo know Rock spent the whole time staring at Shermie and lost. I hope Yag wasn't srs about blowing up rock's house. Padre'll be mad.
- also Rock got in the band kek. I wonder how long he'll last.
- Vice+mature come back to life every year for like a month right before KOF time. If they can come back, why can't CYS? (They show up at his front door and make him take them out to eat) Im deffo gonna do a Team Yagami fic soon.
K fams. thanks for reading. That's the last chapter. Cheers. Stay tuned for more idiocy. :0