Disclaimer: I do not own anything, except for the characters and plot that I made. Everything else belongs to the amazing JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing with their wonderful world.
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To all those who are lost,
maybe someday, we won't be anymore...
for maybe...just maybe...someone would be there;
our own little finder.
Forever Dawn
Chapter 9: Sanctuary
Harry's POV
I sat in the car as Mr. Javier instructed that it was time to leave. I closed my eyes as another wave of headache hit it. Somehow the pain got worse. Yet I wouldn't give Mike the benefit to see me in a clinic or in a hospital. Besides, that stupid jerk owes me a car! I can feel my heart palpate and my breath ragged, and the pain started to crawl up my skin, but I wouldn't budge. Besides, I had worse. I gave a shuddered breath as I wish the headache away---though with the luck that I have? I knew it would stay.
"Are you okay?" A velvety voice asked. Just hearing it was enough for me---and I still don't know why. I am in a car with Edward bloody Cullen. How? I'm not sure I remember. I opened my eyes and looked at him. Merlin! He truly was devastating. He was looking at me with smoldering eyes, and that stopped my train of thought. I must've looked for hours, before I gathered my wits and replied. He must've thought I'm incompetent.
"I-I'm fine" I cursed myself inside for stuttering.
"Are you sure? You seemed to be not alright. Perhaps you should see my father?" Edward said, still looking worried. His forehead has crease lines as he looked at me with smoldering eyes. The fact that he seemed worried makes me, in a way, happy. Somehow I'm glad that he seemed to care.
"No. It's okay. I'm fine." I answered, as I tried to even my breath so he wouldn't be worried. That look doesn't belong in that devastatingly beautiful face.
Silence followed my statement as he looked at the road looking dangerous. Somehow, inside I felt like I needed to distract him. It felt like an instinct, a sort of switch that went inside me, telling me to distract Edward from whatever thoughts he might be thinking at the moment.
"Er---So why did you leave in the first place?" the first thing that comes to my mind. It is also one of the first things that I wanted to know. He looked at me, seeming in deep thought, and perhaps I shouldn't ask.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry" I added. As I looked down, slightly biting my cheeks as my headache was driving me nuts.
"I needed time to think" Edward said unexpectedly. I looked at him with confused eyes and asked, "From what?"
"Maybe if you'd stick around I'd tell you" he replied with an amused eyes and a crooked smile. And that, well, how the hell am I supposed to react to that? So without further thought, my brain just stopped again as I relished the image of Edward Cullen. I looked down, trying to clear my head, as I blurted out again what was on my mind.
"I didn't like it when you're gone" I mumbled, and then I closed my eyes as I realized just what I said. We sat there in silence, with Edward driving and I just stared at the window. I'm contemplating how stupid it was to say something like that. What would Edward think? I was about to apologize when he spoke.
"I didn't like it either" he said as he drove towards our destination. I don't know how to respond to that, so I just kept quiet.
He then looked at me as he stated, "You should stay away from me Harry"
"Why?" I blurted out.
"Because I can't stay away from you anymore" he said as he drove towards our destination as I filter and dissect and try to make sense of whatever the bloody hell had just transpired.
"This is really getting complicated" he mumbled more to himself than anything, as I continued to look outside as if the greenery were the nicest thing on the planet.
***
We soon arrived to a familiar curve, and instantly I knew where we were.
"Bloody great!" I mumbled under my breath. Edward looked at me but didn't comment on it as the Volvo stopped with the rest of the vehicles. As soon as the vehicle stopped, whatever fear I have about this place, I tried to suck in. Besides, I have a bloody headache, and a sore body to distract me from all the drama of my past. Call it my infamous Gryffindor courage, but I will get over this day, no matter what! I turned around to look at Edward and thank him for the ride. When I turned it was to see him rather…uh…close.
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked me as he lifted his hand and caressed my jaw with his fingertip. My breath and thought stopped, my usual reaction to his touches, and I was in a trance. He seemed to realize what he's doing, as all too soon, he dropped his hand.
"I'm sorry" he mumbled as he looked at me again, "Tell me you're okay" he continued with concern painting that face again. I need to erase it, so I said the only thing that would make him stop worrying, "I'm fine" I said, as I opened the door and face what lies ahead.
***
I parted ways with Edward Cullen as soon as I got out of his car. I didn't want to leave for some unknown reasons I still couldn't quite comprehend, but I don't want to invade his space. Mr. Javier called the group and I stayed at the back of the line. As soon as I rounded a corner towards the end of the line, I was struck in the face by none other than Isabella Swan.
"What? You're targeting my boyfriend now?" Isabella said. I just stood there on the verge of shock and controlling myself, I would never hit a girl. I just stayed quiet and gave her an impassive look as she said again, "Watch yourself queer. Edward is never going to have a freak like you. So do yourself a favor, and go back to the place where you come from. You're not welcome here!" she said as she walked away. I looked at Isabella's retreating back. Perhaps she is right, I don't belong here.
***
We arrived inside the Sanctuary, and almost immediately, Martha greeted me.
"Harry dear, I knew you'd be back" she said warmly, and again, she reminded me of Mrs. Weasley. The thought of the person whom I considered a mother was comforting in so many ways. I couldn't help but give her a smile.
"Fucking queer is also fucking an old lady" I heard a soft whisper and snicker. I glared at the direction and saw Mike Newton and his gang. I was about to comment back when I heard a low grumble behind me, and I saw Edward Cullen glaring at Newton's direction. He was being held in the shoulders by little old Alice. I didn't know why I did it, but it felt like it was the thing that I ought to do. I grabbed his arm and gave it a squeeze, as I felt how hard and cold it was.
Edward is never going to have a freak like you.
Isabella's voice kept ringing in my head like an echo, and it saddens me as I know it will be the truth. I dropped my hand and my gaze.
"I-I'm sorry." I said as I left the hallway, and disappeared among the crowd.
***
After a few moments, Mr. Javier calls the students and spoke. "Welcome to Saint Michael's Sanctuary, a place for the less fortunate children. We brought you here so you can give these children a sense of joy and help them become socially comfortable. All you have to do is mingle and get to know the kids. Enjoy your day" he gave a smile as one by one, each student filed as they rounded a backyard, a playground of some sorts where the children are.
I was walking the yard, as I saw Angela Weber laughing with a few kids. Others were running. The rain has stopped officially, though a dark cloud was covering the sun, giving an almost twilight feel. I smiled at the irony of it.
"Who would want to mingle with these kids?" I heard a conversation, and by the high-pitch voice I knew it was Isabella. Why have my ears become so sensitive to her voice that I hear her whispers, I don't know. I listened closely. "I mean look at them, that one is practically weird out, no wonder no one likes to talk to him."
"This place is for freaks like Evans" I bit my tongue as I heard Newton's voice as he and Isabella both laughed.
Somebody growled behind me again, and for the second time that day, it was Edward. He was looking at Newton dangerously. Again, the impulse to assure him was inevitable.
"It's alright. He's right you know" I said with a little smile. No matter how rude Newton might be, he nailed me right on. I was a freak.
Besides, there's no need to pick a fight in front of this kids. Instead I look at the child Isabella is talking about. And one look and I knew which child she was talking about. He was probably seven, with messy black hair and scrawny features. He was drawing something on sheets of paper. He didn't interact with others and the others seemed oblivious of him.
"That's Ryan" I was surprised when Martha suddenly spoke beside us. "He came here after some gangsters killed his parents and set his house on fire. He has no family left. Ever since the tragedy, he was like that. He never socializes with anyone" Martha elaborated. Ryan just sat in one of the chairs as he drew something on the paper. He seemed distant, and lonely. I felt a sudden connection with the boy. Probably because we share one commonality---we both have no family. Both killed by some evil person. We both have no one.
"May I?" Martha just smiled. I took that as my cue to go near the child. I sat at one of the empty chairs besides Ryan. I watched him draw for awhile. I smiled bitterly as I remembered me at that age. I was exactly like him. Aloof, lonely and scrawny.
"Hey Ryan. My name's Harry" I said softly. The child just continues to draw. I noticed that he was drawing a picture of his family, and my heart broke for the boy. "Mind if I borrow some of your papers and crayons. I'm rather talented at drawing myself." The child just continued to draw, as if I wasn't there.
I draw a picture of my father and mother, as I talked to Ryan. "You see here was my dad" I pointed at my drawing, "And here was my mom" I said to Ryan, though the boy didn't seem to notice, but I wasn't about to give up.
"You see, I never met them. Someone stole them away from me." I looked at nothing in particular, as wave of emotions entered me. "For as far as I can remember, I-I have no one."
"People whom I never even met knew a lot about my parents than I did. For years I was scared. Until now I'm still scared."
"But you know what Ryan, somewhere out there; somehow I knew they were watching me."
"And I realized its okay to be scared. But I can't let that stop me. I have to prove my parents that I'm brave, because they're watching me. And maybe one day when I meet them again, and I knew I will. They will be proud of me" I finished as I try to compose myself. I looked at Ryan who was still drawing things I just stayed there, basking in the boy's company. Somehow, we're the same.
After awhile I decided I would try some other time, I looked at the boy and spoke.
"It's good talking to you Ryan" I smiled and started to walk away.
Martha was smiling at me, while Cullen's gaze was…intense? I don't really know what to think about it, but seeing him like that was…breathtaking. Merlin! I must've really got a thing for this vampire.
I smiled at Martha but suddenly her eyes became big as if he could never believe what she was seeing. I felt someone tugged my arm.
***
Edward's POV
I watched as Harry talked with the child. I paid particular attention to what he was saying. He feels to me like a whole new world, yet to be discovered. There's so much more to him, I knew that. Still the thought of finding out everything about him was…I can't even really describe how it would feel.
Everything about him was…intoxicating. His smell that called to me…no shouted to me. Bringing forward primal urges to protect to defend to hold, to touch, to drown into that smell…of lust. Being in the car with him, and having him so close, his smell, God his smell was more intoxicating than I thought. He smelled like almond and cherry with a tinge of chocolate, and I have to restrain myself not to jump him right there. The urge to claim him and make him mine was as constant as the monster residing inside me. I was barely holding myself, as I try my hardest not to touch him…or do something else.
Yet spending that few moments in the car with him, I knew something was wrong. Constant worry was the only thing anchoring me to not lose control on that amazing smell. The monster in me agreed for the first time, urging me to ensure his safety, his security more than the lust. He said he was okay of course, but that did little to ensure me. To satisfy my worry, and now I watched as he talked to the boy. As worried as I am, I cannot resist the urge to hear his voice once again.
Me and the lady who is the head of the orphanage, was listening intently. Though I doubt she hears what Harry was saying. I on the other hand, was listening to it like it was the last sound I would ever hear.
"You see, I never met them. Someone stole them away from me."
I listened at Harry as he relayed his story to the boy. Parts of it. From the looks of it, someone killed his parents and by the looks of it his hardships started from there. I really never knew Harry's story, but one look at him and you could tell that there's more to it that meets the eye. Vampires are more sensitive to different twitches of the face, or a frown, or perhaps a sound of the beating heart. We are a perfect observant. As I look at Harry, I could tell that his life hadn't been easy.
I felt a terrible cringe inside my stomach that I hadn't been there to defend him. Whoever that bastard is? I hope we didn't cross paths, because I would tear him from limb to limb and bathe in his blood. The monster inside me growled greedily at soaking in those bastards' blood.
I look at Harry with those sad green eyes, and I have to restrain myself from going there and wrap him in my arms. He was sitting there, and he seemed lost in his thoughts yet at the same time basking in the company of the boy.
"You know, he's really a good young man" the woman named Martha said, and I almost jumped. I had totally forgotten that she was still beside me.
"Yes. He is" I said with a smile at the old lady. Her thoughts reminded me of Esme. She's very Mother-like, and somehow I liked her.
"So what are you waiting for then?" she said to me. I looked at her with confused gaze, what is she saying?
"Well, whatever it is son, you'd better hurry up. Someone would notice him sooner or later. So you'd better act fast dear" She advised with a kind smile, and if I could I would have blushed. I shifted uncomfortably.
"It's good talking to you Ryan" I heard Harry spoke again, and I was instantly pulled out of my thoughts. I watched as he came to us. He's truly remarkable. And in that moment, I knew I wanted him, not that there's any doubt before, but I will have him. He's mine. And if he'll allow it, it would stay that way…Forever.
***
Harry's POV
I looked at the person tugging at my arm and saw that it was Ryan. He handed me a drawing of his, and it showed his family and him, and holding his hand in the picture…there's me. He was still pulling me and I leaned in as he neared my ear, then he whispered to me something that, even if I have a freaking headache and a sore body, made my day.
"I would be brave too" he said as he ran off back to his chair. I looked at the drawing again, and somehow, in a long time, it was one of the greatest gifts anyone had given me.
"That was wonderful Harry. No one had got through to Ryan like that on a first meeting. I knew they don't make kids like you these days, you're one of kind son." Martha smiled as she gave me a hug.
"Well if someone's listening this just proves my point" she said, and I have no idea what she's talking about as she left to sit with Ryan. I was watching Martha talk with Ryan when I was pulled out of it by a voice.
"Harry?" someone said, and by the velvety quality of the voice, I knew who it was. I looked at Edward as he seemed to be shifting uncomfortably; though the look he's giving me was enough to make my magic raise inside me again. I stomped at my magic, although I tried harder this time since I'm not in perfect shape. My head is aching like it was achingly wanted to split open.
"Yeah?" I asked
"Can I drive you home?" he said as he looked at me. My mouth opened in disbelief.
"Er---I don't want to intrude. You've done so much for me this day already, and besides I could always ride the bus" It was the truth. I don't want to have a debt with someone, but Edward was making it really hard today. He's been good to me since he arrived. The thought of being with him even if it was a few minutes ride was tempting, but still, I don't want to cause him any trouble.
"No. I want to drive you home myself." He insisted as he looked at me with butterscotch eyes.
"Why?" I blurted out suddenly.
"Because…" he sighed, "Because I just do" He said, and that was a good enough reason for me.
***
The day at St. Michael's Sanctuary finished at last, and the students were starting to head outside. I was about to head out the door when I was pushed against the wall by none other than Mike Newton.
"What do we have here? It's Evans the Queer." Newton sneered as his gang laughed derisively. I tried to force myself free but Newton and one of his gang-mates was pinning me to the wall.
"Wanting to escape huh? I bet if it was Cullen whose restraining you, you would beg for it. Like the little whore you are" they laughed again. "Bella told me about your queer fascination with Cullen, you little cocksucker."
"Newton!" a voice said and it was Mr. Javier. "What is all this?" he demanded. Mr. Javier was a kind professor, but he wasn't something to be crossed.
"Nothing Professor, just catching with Evans" Newton said as he leaned on me and whispered, "Stop dreaming Evans, Cullen doesn't like a faggot like you. You're a freak and freaks like you, well; they ended up with no one. Because that's just what you are, Evans, a cocksucking trash" and then he let go.
I feel humiliated and my head was pounding like crazy. I felt like a trash. I didn't even hear Mr. Javier's questions if I'm okay. I just went outside and ran. I ran as far as my feet drag me, then I stopped as tears started to run down my eyes. My heart was beating frantically, my chest was hurting, my head was like it was being drilled. My whole body was in pain.
I felt someone touched my shoulder tentatively and I shoved it away, "Don't touch me" I said venomously.
"It's me Harry." It was Edward.
Edward is never going to have a freak like you.
Cullen doesn't like a faggot like you
The words uttered by both Isabella and Newton flashed my mind over and over again like a mantra. And I know it's true. Cullen was just being nice; I shouldn't read between those kind acts.
"What are you doing here, Edward?" I asked.
"I'm supposed to give you a ride home, remember?" he said. His voice seemed worried.
Edward is never going to have a freak like you.
Cullen doesn't like a faggot like you
"It's okay, I can go from here" I said
Edward is never going to have a freak like you.
Cullen doesn't like a faggot like you
"No! I wanted to take you home. Are you okay?" Edward asked again.
My head suddenly felt like it was being hammered hard while my chest felt like it was about to collapse.
Edward is never going to have a freak like you.
Cullen doesn't like a faggot like you
I tried to focus my vision but it was becoming dark, my heart felt like it was about to jump out my chest.
Edward is never going to have a freak like you.
Cullen doesn't like a faggot like you
I elicit a painful gasp as I clutched my chest, my head. I don't know which ached more. My vision was blurring.
"Harry! What's wrong?! Are you okay?!" Edward's frantic voice asked as he held my shoulders, giving me a little shake.
My vision started to blur and I was starting to see black. The pain was too much…too much.
Edward is never going to have a freak like you.
Cullen doesn't like a faggot like you
"Harry! I'm losing my mind here, Are you okay?!"
"I-I…d-don't…think so" my final words before I surrender myself to darkness.
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