Title: And I will Let You Down
Author: castiel-thepizzaman
Pairing: eventual Dean/Castiel
Rating: NC-17 or M overall, this chapter is PGish.
Warnings: Language and Drug Use
A/N: Gosh, I seem to be really bad at proofreading on time. Though honestly, I kinda have to be in a slightly melancholy mood to do that. I don't know why. Anyways, crappy chapter ahead. I apologize. =[
Enjoy reading! Thank you very much.
Chapter Ten
Day's passed by and the four men who lived in the house attempted to adjust the best that they could in the circumstances. The humans treated Castiel like a ticking time bomb and it did not go unnoticed by the angel who seemed to change each day. No one knew whether it would be a good day for him or not, but they all tried to work through it together.
Dean woke up the next morning, a slight pounding in his head as he remembered the twelve pack that Bobby, Sam and him had gone through the night before, talking about random things, swapping stories, and trying to avoid the topic of Castiel. After the three men were up and tromping around, Dean took a shower, enjoying the pressure of Bobby's water and letting the heat run over his wearied and tired body. Once he dressed Sam motioned that Dean should wake Castiel up so they could go to the local goodwill store in Sioux Falls. Approaching Castiel's door, Dean listened intently, but no noise was coming from the room. Curiosity caused Dean to push the door open, seeing the angel wrapped in the comforter, a hand pressed gingerly to his side as he leaned out the window, intently watching the apple tree that had sprouted in between two junk cars.
"Hey, Cas." Two lucid blue eyes greeted him as Castiel turned around, attempting to rid the flash of pain that marred his expressions. "Good morning. How did you sleep?"
There was a slight pause as Castiel nodded, replying slowly as if calculating his words. "It was... adequate." It lead Dean to believe that the angel hadn't actually fallen asleep last night, that he was running on the few hours he had gotten in the Impala, surrounded by the duffel bags, the previous day. "It smells different here and it's rather quiet."
Biting his lip, Dean shrugged, there wasn't anything he could do at the moment, but it surprised him that Sam and him had such a large impact on the angel. There was no noise in the house other than the usual creeks that come with age. Although, usually Dean and Sam were immersed in noise from the motels other clients or the cars on the near highway. Dean even found that he occasionally had trouble sleeping when he didn't hear the constant breath of Sammy only a few feet away, the lingering smell of his brother's shampoo drifting over to him.
"Well, Bobby's cooking breakfast if you want some. We're going out shopping today. So get yourself ready for that."
Dean turned to walk out the door and rejoin the other two men at the table when a soft, "Dean.." from Castiel caused him to stop in his tracks. Turning he glanced back as Castiel moved his hand from the his side, allowing him to see the blood that was dripping off the angel's fingertips. "I ruined Sam's shirt."
The voice the angel said it in sounded bittersweet and Dean took a step forward, taking Castiel's wrists and pulling him gently behind him. Once they made it to the bathroom, Dean closed the door behind them and unwrapped the blanket from around Castiel's shoulder, gently pulling Sam's shirt off Castiel's thin frame. He was silent as his hands slid down Castiel's bruised and torn skin, gently prodding at the knife wound just below the ribs.
"What'd you do? Some of the stitches broke." Dean murmured as he grabbed the first aid kit out from the cupboard underneath the sink. Then he pulled out the needle and thread and began to repair what he could, watching as the needle slid cleanly though the skin brought together both sides of the wound. He knelt in front of Castiel, placing on hand on the angel's waist for balance.
"Please, Dean, it hurts." Castiel whimpered and Dean glanced up to see the angel's eyes closed and a light sheen of sweat gathering over his body, glistening on his chest. Dean hadn't woken Castiel up in the middle of the night to take his painkillers because he thought the angel would make it though without any pain. Apparently, it had been the wrong decision.
Once Dean was finished he cut the thread and tied a knot and rubbed cold antiseptic cream over the wound, he felt Castiel's muscles ripple in a small shiver at the cold feeling. Then Dean replaced the sterile pad since the previous one had been soaked in blood. When Dean was taping it on, he decided to take care of the rest of the wounds, they would all need to be taken care of at regular intervals in order to prevent infection. Though at the look of the depth and severity of some of the wounds, a small infection might be unavoidable. But as long as they didn't need to travel to the hospital then they all would classify it as a win.
They made fast work of Castiel's injuries, Dean working as fast as he could while Castiel stood still, eyes closed and mouth pursed into a thin line of pain. After that was done, Dean helped Castiel into his clothes, cringing when the angel hissed as the jeans were pulled over his buttocks. Within an hour they were both making their way downstairs, Castiel bundled in his winter coat and his plant hugged to his chest.
Once they were settled down at the table Dean dolled out Castiel's correct amount of pills for the day and the three humans began to chat amicably about their plans in order to relieve any pressure to talk from Castiel.
Bobby placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of their quiet friend. "Eat up." Bobby gruffly said, turning back to the stove where the flipped a pancake.
Castiel glanced down at the mush, dipping his spoon in and bringing it up. He surveyed the food before he tilted the silverware and watched as the oatmeal slid off his spoon and plopped back into the bowl. With narrowed eyes, Castiel repeated the movement, only to frown in slight disappointment as the mush fell back into the bowl with the same devastating noise. Sam, Dean, and Bobby watched the angel dip his spoon in the bowl with fascination before he glanced over to Dean's plate, seeing the pancakes, bacon, and eggs that were piled on. Sam and Bobby turned away when they saw Castiel eyeing the older Winchester's food.
When Castiel's eyes met Deans he shook his head. "Your stomach's probably fragile and we don't want to upset it." Castiel glanced down at the table, his eyes sliding over his oatmeal, a small sigh escaping his lips as he tilted his head at it. "Fuck." Dean swore when it seemed Castiel was perfectly happy having a staring match with an inanimate object and slid his plate of food over, pushing the oatmeal out of the way.
A small smile broke out on Castiel's face, it was so out of place that it caused Dean to glance back again just to make sure he actually saw it. "Thank you." Castiel whispered as he picked up a fork and began to eat the food that had been placed in front of him. All the while, Dean attempted to make the oatmeal look appetizing in any way possible.
"Maybe if you put blueberries in it." Sam suggested from his seat on the other side of the table, pouring over the newspaper.
Dean snorted and pushed the oatmeal away from him. He knew Bobby would make him another plate of food while complaining that he wasn't their maid. "Blueberries are for freaks like you, Sammy."
Sam chuckled, returning to the article he was reading. Dean was just happy that his brother had given up so easily, usually he would try to convince him that it was actually fruit in the pies he was so fond of.
Breakfast passed in retaliative ease, though it was so late in the morning it could almost be called an early lunch. Castiel was taking tentative bites of the pancakes and seemed almost done when he froze, blue eyes wide in fear and surprise.
"Cas?" Sam asked, glancing over at him.
Before anyone could ask what was wrong the angel pushed himself off the chair and disappeared around the corner of the kitchen. Dean followed soon after, abandoning his bacon only to hear the retching noise of Castial vomiting into the toilet. Entering the bathroom, Dean sat on the edge of the shower, rubbing soothing circles against the angel's back, feeling the thin material of the shirt against his palm.
"See, what did I tell you?" Dean murmured in a soothing voice as he felt Castiel's back press against him as his body violently heaved, muscles moving underneath the skin as his body reacted. The angel was shaking by the time his body had expelled the food and Dean had no doubt that the medicine had gone with it. After Dean had cleaned Castiel up, he suggested that they make their way to the store so Castiel could have some new clothes to wear.
They tried not to make a big deal of Castiel throwing up as Dean drove them to the small center of town, parking in front of the building they needed. It took some time, but Castiel had finally found some clothes that he would be willing to wear. At first it was Sam wandering through the racks with him, trying to figure out what he wanted and what he was looking for. The clothes he choose were all well worn, and he adamantly shown his displeasure at new clothes, claiming they were stiff and uncomfortable, rubbing against his skin too roughly. So instead they left the store with three pairs of very worn jeans, five soft t-shirts, a new pair of shoes, and two sweatshirts. The two brother's couldn't care what Castiel bought, as long as he was comfortable and it also meant that they wouldn't have to do laundry so soon.
The rest of the day passed by simple enough. Castiel received his next dosage of medicine and then sat in front of the television for a few hours, staring at the moving picture with a blank face. Bobby eventually changed his bandages and took note of all his injuries down to the last detail, comparing it to the folder the doctor had given them a few days previous. Dean helped Castiel shower before hand, standing on the other side of the curtain and using directions. Then the three humans helped around the house, answering calls and joining Bobby in the research part of hunting. Once or twice Castiel wandered in while they were working in the library, attempting to track down anything about Eve, and offered one of two pieces of information, helping them along greatly.
Later on that night, after Dean had unsuccessfully tried to get Castiel to eat some soup and jello, Castiel fell asleep on the couch, a book of the Buddhist religion open in his lap. Dean had barely touched Castiel's shoulder to wake him when an elbow collided with the side of his face as the angel jerked awake, fear prevalent in his face. Dean sprawled backwards, hand holding the side of his face in pain.
"Shit." Dean swore, rubbing the quickly bruising area and glanced up to see Castiel huddled in the corner of the couch at the action and outburst. Seeing his friends distress, Dean sat up, shifting onto his knee's as he smiled at Castiel, "Hey, come on, it's not that bad."
Castiel seemed to respond in kind, letting out a small nod as he cleared his throat. "I think I would like to retire for the night."
"Sounds good, I was just gonna wake you and bring you to bed." Dean slowly stood so he wouldn't startle Castiel. It would be one thing if the angel could disappear and return when he felt better, but since Castiel was currently a human, he was forced to endure everything.
Dean gave Castiel his last dose of medicine for the day and they made their way upstairs where Dean taught Castiel how to brush his teeth and helped him change into the pajamas that they had bought that morning. Dean watered the bamboo plant and made sure to turn it so when the moon fully rose, the light would be splayed in the leaves.
That night, Dean left Castiel's room a little worse for the wear, but for once with a hope for the future.
Early in the morning, Dean was woken by the noise of someone throwing up in the upstairs bathroom. With a groan he shoved the covers off of himself, pulling down at the hems of his boxers and padding barefoot up the stairs. The wood creaked beneath his feet and he was sure that he would wake everyone up in the house. But it seemed that no one heard or seemed to care.
Gently knocking on the door, Dean mumbled, "you okay?" He wasn't sure who was in there, and in his foggy state, he wasn't curious as to who would answer.
Instead, there was movement on the other side of the door and then silence for a few seconds. Dean leaned against the wall, letting his eyelids fall closed over his green eyes. At the sound of the door opening, Dean pushed himself off the wall and opened his eyes, coming face to face with a pale, shaken Castiel. But even though the angels body seemed to be hurting and frightened, the blue eyes stared at him with clarity.
"I am fine, I apologize for waking you." The deep voice, full of power and authority greeted him, and it caused Dean to realized he had missed that. He had missed the angel.
Dean shook his head,shifting from foot to foot. "No problem. What happened?"
Something flashed behind Castiel's eyes, something dark and treacherous, but then it was gone and Dean was left with the stoic faced angel. "I believe it is time for my medicine."
The comment surprised the human, and he took a step back as if to comply. It was time for Castiel to have more painkillers, but Dean had hoped the angel could wait and eat it with breakfast so he would have some food to offset the warning reactions. "Yeah... okay. You sure nothing's wrong?"
They both stood their in silence, green eyes warily watching blue ones. Then, Castiel glanced down at his hand, seeing his fingers digging into his palm. Slowly he extended his fingers and reached out, his hand hovering over Dean's bare shoulder. It seemed as if the angel was unsure as to what he should do next so Dean reached up and grasped his wrist, placing his hand on where Castiel's handprint used to be. At the contact of skin Castiel sighed, letting his hand drop from Dean's shoulder, his finger's trailing down the human's chest before they returned to his side, clenching them into a fist.
"No, everything... everything is fine." Castiel said again, seeming to relax slightly. Dean stared at the angel for a few seconds, curious as to whether he was awoken from nightmares but he knew that Castiel would most likely never reveal that to him.
Dean smiled, his skin tingling from where Castiel's cold fingers ran over it. "Alright, get back in bed and I'll bring you your medicine."
Castiel nodded, the socks on his feet making no noise as he walked back into his room while Dean went to the kitchen to retrieve the painkillers.
As the time approached noon, Castiel still had not come down from his bedroom. This time, Dean forced Sam to wake the angel up, using the bruise that covered the left side of his face and giving him a rather nice black eye as an argument. Bobby and Dean chatted about Garth's new case in West Virginia as they waited for the other two to arrive.
Except when Sam came down, he came without Castiel, causing fleeting panic among the older men before they split up and began to search the house and grounds. Dean slammed open the door to the basement and began to search in between the shelves, seeing multiple useful tools that he doubt Bobby remembered he had, but no Castiel. Eventually he made his way to the panic room, and a breath of relief went through him as he saw Castiel sitting with his legs crossed in the middle of the floor.
"Cas, fuck, you scared the hell outta us!" Dean swore, stepping into the room.
Castiel looked up, a small smile on his lips as he chuckled. It was eery sounding in the small metal room. "I apologize, Dean. That was not my intentions."
Dean walked closer to the angel, squatting down in front of him. Castiel seemed to lazily watch Dean's movement, but once Dean got close he realized the angel was having a hard time focusing on him. His pupils were bare pinpoints and after trying to look at Dean's face he gave up and stared at one of the sigils on the wall.
There was something in his hands and Dean reached out to take the bottle, his eyes widening when he saw it was the pill bottle. He must have accidentally left it in Castiel's room last night. "Did you take all of them?" Dean growled, worry lacing his voice.
"They were rather pleasant." Castiel replied, his head flopping onto his shoulder as he surveyed Dean with a smile.
Those eyes. That face. It took everything Dean had not to cringe back from the resemblance they had to the angel Dean had seen in 2014.
"Cas, no, no, no." Dean chided, moving forward and wrapping his arms around Castiel's body, hugging him to his chest and an action that was not reciprocated by the other man.
Then there were days like this, when all Dean wanted to do was give up.