I rushed a little bit to get this chapter out. I have to head to Dever later this afternoon to pick up my Daughter from college. A seventeen hour drive one way...have to be back by Sat morning so I can go to work Sat night. With gas prices how they are I am not looking forward to it. They weren't so high last year when I dropped her off. Next year she is going to have to take way less and ship it!

Anyway back to the story. Hope you enjoy the last of Stephs rest and peace with Les, I needed a break...more action and drama coming soon :)

CHAPTER 10

Dear Ranger

"Steph, look at me." He waited until I looked up. "It is not your fault."

"Then why does it feel that way?"

"Because that is the kind of person you are. You choose to put the guilt on yourself rather than putting the blame on the person who deserves it. Your always trying to spare others feelings."

I just sat there for a minute taking in what Lester said. He sat there patiently waiting for my reaction.

"So, are you going to stop blaming yourself?"

I gave my shoulders a small shrug. "I'll try."

"You'll try?" Les got up and walked around the desk. "I'm sorry Steph, that's not good enough."

I snapped my head towards Lester as he came my way. "What do you mean it's not..." My words were cut off by a scream of laughter as he grabbed me and started tickling me. I started laughing so hard when he tickled my stomach and sides that I slid of the chair.

"Les...p...p...please...ssss...s ssstop." I am so ticklish and I was laughing so hard I could barely get the words out.

I flipped onto my stomach trying to protect my ticklish spots. This didn't deter him. He straddled my back, facing backwards, pulled my feet up to him securing them with one hand and using the other to tickle them.

"Leeeeeeesssssss! Pleeeeeeease! Ssssstoooooop" I screamed. Tears of laughter were running down my face as I twisted and tried to free myself. .

"Not until you promise me you will stop blaming yourself." He said seriously.

I couldn't stand it anymore. "O...O...Okay, I'll ssssssssstooop."

He only let up slightly. "Promise!"

"I...I...I can't buh buh buh breathe." He didn't stop. "I PROMISE!" I managed to get out breathing hardly.

He immediately got off me and stretched out on the floor laying next to me, watching me and waiting for me to catch my breath.

"You play dirty Lester Santos, very dirty." I smiled at him though, my breathing coming under control.

He shot me silly grin and then got up off the floor and pulled me up with him.

"Come on let me show you the pictures we took." He grabbed a stack of photos from the printer and we headed to the dining room table.

There were two sets printed and he handed me one of them. I smiled and laughed as I looked through them. "These are great Les."

"That set is for you, you keep them."

I watched as Les got up and went in the other room putting his set of pictures in a stack on the shelf next to some albums.

I can't explain how I was feeling right then. I was still hurting, but spending time here just relaxing and hanging out with Les made the pain so much easier to bear. What I did know is that these pictures were one of the most precious possessions I had right now.

Lester stood in the doorway watching me as I flipped through the pictures again.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm getting there." I looked up at him. "Uhm, can I keep these pictures here?"

"Yeah, why? Do you not want to take them home with you?"

"I would love to!" I didn't want him to think there was something wrong with the pictures. "It's just that my apartment gets broken into so much, and I wouldn't want anything to happen to them."

"Of course you can keep them here. That bedroom upstairs you have your things in, is your bedroom. Permanently. Anytime you want, you come here. When things get to be too much for you, or you just want to get away. You come here." He stepped towards me as he saw the tears fall from my eyes. I don't even know why they were falling. I think I was just overloaded with emotions and grateful to have Lester as a friend right now. "It doesn't matter if I am here or not"

He put his hand on my back and led me to the office. He unlocked a small safe that was in the wall and pulled out a chain with a key on it. He placed it around my neck. "Whether I am here or not, you can come." He repeated and pulled me into a hug and I held on tightly. "The only other person that knows about this place in Trenton is Hector because I needed help with all the electronics and security. So noone will bother you when you're here."

"I don't care what anyone else says about you Les. You're the best friend a girl can have." I said with a smile on my face again.

He let out a laugh. "I guess you just bring out the best in me."

That laugh brought me out of my funky mood.

"You better go get some rest if you have to work tonight."

"Yeah, your right. Let me get a few hours, then we'll cook dinner before we leave." He pushed my hair back from my face giving me a look of concern. "You could stay here until tomorrow like I planned if you want. I could come back and get you."

"No, I'll ride with you. You don't need to go back and forth and wear yourself out."

"Wake me up at six?"

"Yeah, can I use your computer while your sleeping."

"Of course."

He gave me his password to the computer before he headed to bed. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to write, but I decided to write a letter to Ranger. It will be there for him, in his apartment, to read whenever he decides to come back.

I went into the office, turned on the computer and stared at it...and stared at it...and stared at it some more. I must have sat there and stared for at least and hour before I finally started typing. I wanted something quick that would get right to the point. I wanted my anger and hurt to show through without being a whiner. I wanted a letter that would leave him with a clear understanding of what I was saying.

Ranger,

Sooner or later you will return to Trenton. When you do, you will eventually hear what really went down the day you left between Joe and I. Maybe you will have regrets. Maybe you will be sorry. Then again maybe you won't. Which ever it is, I don't want you to come to see me or call me with your apologies. Then again maybe this is what you always wanted, to push me away and keep me out of your personal life. Congratulations! You've succeeded. The sad thing is, you lost a friend as well. One who had and would have continued to stand by you through anything.

Your walking away, telling me you don't want me working for you, and your refusal to speak to me actually spoke more to me than your words ever could.

If anything I thought our friendship meant something to you. You had me fooled.

I guess it's a good thing we never did have a romantic relationship because it wouldn't have worked without us having trust in each other and obviously your trust in me was lacking. Better to find out now than later, so thank you.

I will always love you and miss the frienship we had.

Goodbye,

Stephanie

I surpised myself by making it throught the letter without crying. Once I started writing I didn't go back and reread it. I know it's not exactly what I want to say, but it's so hard to put the thoughts in my head into words with the same meaning I was thinking them. If I go back and reread it I will keep changing it and never finish it. The letter could be rewritten a hundred times and still not be right. Best just to keep it the way it is. I burned a song onto a blank CD Lester had on the desk. It was a song I heard a couple years ago, and parts of it kept running through my head as I wrote the letter.

You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
(James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover)

I printed the letter and sealed it in an envelope with the CD. I'll have Lester give the letter to Ella, so she can place it in Ranger's apartment.

After putting the letter away I went upstairs to change into warmer clothes and headed outside. As I walked along collecting shells and thought about my previous job at Rangman and now to be chasing skips for Vinnie again.

It was kinda nice working in the office at Rangeman. Heck! What am I saying? It was great. I didn't think I would like the desk job when I first started it. But doing background searches was very interesting and with the addition of my spidey senses I was pretty damn good at it too. The desk job became my preferred job over chasing skips and doing distractions.

I enjoyed bounty hunting, well at least I believed I did. But I think a lot of that had to do with my trainer, Ranger. I always had him or the Merry Men to call on when things got to be too much. Now that I was being forced back into it by being in the unemployment market once again, I wasn't very excited about it. Since my job skills were limited and the job market was slow, it seemed that I really don't have a choice but to do it. And If I was going to be bounty hunting again and doing it on my own I would have to eventually make some changes. It's just that I wasn't feeling it. It's like I lost by bounty hunting mojo. Now it was just a job to do to pay the bills.

Having Ranger or the Merry Men to call on in the past kept me from really developing many skills on my own, they are definitely lacking. So far this week I've been pretty lucky, nobody too dangerous. But I'm sure my luck won't last for long. I nearly died from an asthma attack after chasing that fool down the street the other day. Ok, yeah I may be stretching it there a little bit, but I was out of breath and definitely out of shape. I would have to push myself to make some changes, because I'm just not feelin it. I don't plan on getting myself killed though. First thing is to start running again. So not looking forward to that, but I've done it before so it's do able. After I saw the cuffs and other locks in Lester's office, I arleady planned on asking him to teach me how to pick em. The handcuffs would probably be the best choice to start with. Lester would probably be willing to help me with so much more, but he is so over worked right now that I don't want to add any more pressure to him. I have been carrying a gun since I first started bounty hunting, but hardly ever keep it loaded and have actually used it only a few times. Those times I had been pretty accurate with my shooting, but that was pure adrenaline and fear at work there, not skill. I'll have to talk to Eddie again, I'm sure he will be more than happy to help me out at the range again.

I can do this!

Now I'll just keep repeating that to myself until I beleive it.

I looked at the time on my phone. It's been nearly a half hour since I left the house, so I turned around to head back with my booty of shells stuffed into the pockets of my sweatshirt. When I got back to the house I had a few minutes to let Les sleep yet, so I washed all of my shells and found a clear glass bowl in the kitchen to put them in. It created a cute decoration for the table in my room upstairs. My room. I still can't believe Lester gave me my own room in his house. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I was going to make sure Lester always knew how much I appreciated him and try my best to never let him down.

Time to wake him up...and go back home.