"Ro, I'm home," Derrick called as he came in the front door later that night. I was curled up on the couch, a blanket over me, holding the photo of my mom, Sam's Dad, and Derrick and me. Der still had no idea he might have a big brother, and my stomach was trying to kill me from anxiety.
But I was telling him tonight.
The fact of it was, I had to tell Der: we were twins, and my guilt complex was multiplying daily as I tried to keep it from him. But, God, was I scared. And I had no idea how Derrick was going to take it. He might be awesome about it, because sometimes he was pretty good about getting how screwed up our family had made us, but he also had every right to be hurt and angry, and his stupid male ego might drive him to that. "Rose?"
"Living room," I called back, and my brother came in, no shirt, and jumped over the top of the couch, mostly to show off. He frowned at me, looking concerned, and ruffled my hair in a rare show of sibling-y affection.
"You okay?" He asked, and I bit my lip. I was okay. But I really didn't want Derrick to be mad at me for not telling him sooner. And I knew I should have told him sooner. But I was seventeen-years-old, and he was my brother, and I'd only found a little over a week ago. And it wasn't like I didn't have a lot on my mind.
But he was my twin. I should have told him.
"Der, we need to talk." I said slowly, and Derrick straightened up, frowning at me. He was really worried, now.
"What's wrong?" He asked me softly. "Embry didn't do something stupid, did he?" His eyes narrowed in suspicion, and I shook my head quickly, before I hesitated, then handed the photo to him. He frowned at me, not even looking at it, but I just glanced at it, forcing him to follow my gaze.
And then there was silence.
Derrick just stared down at it, blinking. I hugged my legs to my chest, resting my chin on my knees and praying I wasn't about to have my first experience with my brother angrily phasing into a wolf. Derrick just ran his fingers lightly over the photo and then flipped it over, his eyes glued to the date.
"This is a picture of Sam's Dad, our mom, and us." He glanced up at me. "On May 9, 1992." I nodded, chewing on my lip nervously. He pressed his lips together, then looked back down at the photo, flipping it over again so he was looking at the actual photograph. "When'd you find this?"
"On the second." I murmured. Derrick looked up at me, his eyes flashing angrily, but I just stayed still. I deserved this. And if I cried, or freaked out--that would make this about me, which it wasn't. This was about Derrick being allowed to be angry, and Sam being maybe our brother, and this being a freaking shock.
"What the hell took you so long?" Derrick demanded. I pressed my lips together before I sighed.
"I wasn't exactly sure how to tell you." I admitted. "And I'm scared what it's going to do--Sam's angry at Embry and Jake and Jare and Seth and Leah. And I'm Embry's girlfriend and you're Embry's girlfriend's brother and we might be Sam Uley's siblings too." I bit my lip, frowning unhappily, and Derrick just nodded. "I'm so sorry, I really did mean to tell you earlier…" He seemed to recognize I'd hit a breaking point, because he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"Who knows?" He asked.
"Embry, Jared, and Kim." I said quietly.
"I get Em, he's your imprint and shit, but what about Jare and Kim?" Derrick asked, and I realized I could actually hear the hurt in his voice. He was hurt that I hadn't told him before Jared and Kim. And I supposed that was understandable. But I was more interested in what an imprint was--I'd heard Emily say it that first night at the Cullens, when this entire world became apparent to me, and now Derrick was saying it.
"What's an imprint?" I asked quietly, and Derrick blinked at me.
"Embry never… told you what an imprint was?" Derrick asked, his voice strangled, and I swallowed. This made me nervous. "But he told you… what we were?"
"Yeah." I said softly. Derrick's eyes flashed as he stood up, dropping the picture on the coffee table. He stalked into the kitchen and shoved over an armchair on his way in there. The chair hit the side table next to it and toppled sideway and forwards, shattering a leg against the wall. I stood up, following him and leaning against the kitchen door jamb. "Care to tell me why you just decided to demolish the arm chair?" I asked disapprovingly, but Derrick ignored me, slamming open the back door and jogging down the back steps: he leapt the last five or so and phased on his way to the ground. My eyes widened as Derrick howled, sprinting into the forest, and I stood at the back door for a moment. I sighed, pulling my phone out of my pocket and dialing Embry's number automatically.
"Rosie!" Quil picked up Embry's phone cheerfully. I pressed a hand to my eyes: I didn't need my boyfriend's best friend, I needed my boyfriend.
"Hey, Q," I said as pleasantly as I could manage. "Can I talk to Em?"
"Eh, in a minute." Quil said, then I heard some chatter in the background. "He's still on his way home here. Wait, Derrick phased? He doesn't have rounds tonight." Quil said to someone in the background, his voice muffled. "Hey, wait, what's he--holy shit he's attacking Embry."
"Get him off him!" I shouted through the phone, panic racing through my veins. "Quil, listen to me, you have to go stop them--"
"Embry phased, Rose." Quil came back to the phone, hearing how frantic I was, and making his voice soothing. "It's okay. We can all take a few hits from a protective brother, even though you're the first girl to be an imprint with a brother in the pack--"
"No, Der's actually pissed off, not just being an idiot." I told him hurriedly. "Embry didn't tell me what an imprint was--I still don't know--but it set Derrick off, he killed a chair, he's really angry." Quil cursed under his breath on the other end.
"Em didn't tell you what an imprint was?" Quil sounded incredulous.
"Well, Der was already pretty pissed--I told him something else, and…" I paused, made nervous by the sudden silence on the other end. "Quil?" I heard a howl and I snapped my phone shut, turning on the spot and racing through my house, grabbing my keys from the front table and going to my car. I didn't care if I had to break every driving law in existence, I would get to Embry's faster than I ever had before.
Seven minutes later, I slammed to a stop in Embry's driveway, my cell phone ringing in my pocket as I tore the keys out of the ignition. Emily opened the door as I ran up and hugged me tightly. "Are you okay?" She asked me hurriedly, pulling back to look at me with a nervous gaze, smoothing my hair down, and I just glanced past her, looking for my brother or my boyfriend.
"I am, I am--What about Der and Em?" I glanced up at her. "Derrick attacked Embry?" She nodded, not releasing her hold on my shoulders, and I realized there were tears in her eyes. "Oh, God, they're okay, aren't they?" I asked desperately, and she nodded hurriedly.
"Rosie--Derrick phased feet from you. We weren't sure whether you'd been hurt or not." She said softly, and I nodded once in understanding. She put her arm around my shoulders and led me inside the house, to the living room, where Embry's mother was bandaging her son's arm, her face pale but muttering under her breath angrily. Everyone looked up as I entered, and Embry blinked at me before grinning with relief.
"Oh, thank God," Mrs. Call murmured as she looked up at me, and I smiled a little shakily at her.
"I told you I hadn't hurt her." Derrick muttered unhappily, but I just moved to sit next to Embry, but Derrick, with Sam tensely crouching next to him, sat up straight.
"Don't, Rose." He ordered, and I stopped, glancing at him with a frown.
"Why?" I demanded, putting my hands on my hips.
"Because a lot of different people need to talk here, and I think Sam gets that right first." Derrick said, his voice calm and quiet. "And Embry hasn't told you everything yet, so he automatically doesn't get priority." I blinked, confused, then glanced at Embry, who was looking heartbroken. I bit my lip--what the hell was going on?
"Alright." I murmured. Sam was fuming in the corner, though, and I bit my lip, looking at him. "I assumed you saw? In the shared consciousness thing?"
"I cannot," He ground out, "Begin to believe that you had my pack--"
"My pack, actually, Sam," Jake corrected softly from the doorway behind me, and I spun around. "But I suppose the sentiment's the same." He looked down at me, his gaze accusatory, and I swallowed any guilt that might have pushed into me. I never owed it to Jake to tell him about the photo. I didn't really owe it to anyone but Sam and Derrick. "You had them keep a secret from me, Rosie. I can't have my pack keeping secrets. It upsets our dynamic. We're brothers."
"Jake." I said quietly. "I've known you since Der and I went back to Mom, so I'm going to be honest: I don't think you're pissed that I kept a secret and had your packmates do the same, I think you're pissed that you didn't see it." I crossed my arms across my chest as I scowled at him. "And by the way, this whole secret thing may be messing with your pack dynamic," I put the words in air quotes, using my best skeptical voice, "but this whole werewolf thing is sort of messing with my family and my life. So I get keep a few secrets." Jake was just staring at me, but Kim rose from where she was sitting beside Jared to put her hand on my shoulder. I glanced back at her and she smiled a little, looking proud.
"Nice." She murmured to me, and I just nodded once, before I turned to Sam.
"Okay, if you have anything to say other than 'how dare you mess with my pack,' please, go ahead." I told him seriously, and he just stared at me.
"Why wouldn't you tell me right away?" He asked me quietly, and I just shrugged, keeping my arms crossed over my chest. "I mean… Rose, this changes so fucking much."
"Yeah, well, my life's been sort of a FEMA level disaster since you retards reappeared in my life, so I didn't really have the energy to handle my possible half-brother having a panic attack because he might have a brother and a sister." I said quietly. I was being a little aggressive, but I didn't care: I had no idea where my mother was, my brother was acting like an idiot and my boyfriend was apparently lying to me. I wanted answers. Now. "And I was going to tell you. I just had to tell Derrick first, which I did, and then he realized that Embry hadn't told me about imprinting or something, and flipped out." I raised my eyebrows. Sam scowled at me.
"When exactly were you planning to tell me?"
"It's been a week and a half, don't get your panties in a bunch." I said angrily to Sam. "And, by the way, let's just go over the fact that my first actual meeting with you was when you essentially told me to fuck off. Sorry if I'm not super excited about you maybe being my brother."
"Okay, Sam, Rose, Der--I think everyone needs to take a breather." Emily said softly, stepping forward and putting a gentle hand on my arm. I realized that Sam was beginning to shake, and Derrick rose to stand between us, limping a little bit.
"What happened to your leg?" I asked him, and he just rolled his eyes in Embry's general direction. I bit my lip, glancing at Embry, feeling betrayed. He'd hurt my brother? Derrick hurt him too, I reminded myself as Mrs. Call taped down a bandage on Embry's arm, straightening up.
"Okay, sweetheart," Mrs. Call said fondly, putting a hand on her son's head. "You're all bandaged up," Behind her, Paul imitated her, and Embry reached out and smacked his head.
"Quit it." He growled at Paul, and Mrs. Call just rolled her eyes in a boys-will-be-boys way before wrapping her arms around me, and I hugged her back, suddenly grateful for the first sight I'd had of the only maternal figure in my childhood for almost a year. I'd missed Mrs. Call hugely, but it wasn't like I could walk up to my ex-best friend's only parent and be like 'hey, my biggest problem in life right now is that your child is actually sort of destroying my life. Sorry.' So I'd sucked it up and dealt with Derrick only as my family.
"Sweetheart, if you ever need anything…" She murmured in my ear, smoothing down my hair, and I nodded. She pulled back and kissed my forehead. "You be careful," She told me, leaving the room, and I swallowed, crossing my arms over my chest.
"So, Embry, got anything to say to my sister?" Derrick asked my boyfriend angrily, and every boy in the room turned in their seats to scowl at Embry, who flinched under their gaze. I backed up a step. What had Embry done to incur the anger of every guy I was friends with?
"What's going on?" I asked softly, and Embry rose shakily. I rushed forward, trying to help, but Embry shook his head.
"We should go somewhere else, talk privately--"
"Sit," I ordered, pushing him back down, and he didn't fight me. He was that weak. I looked around. "Guys, can we please have some privacy?" I asked hopefully, and Derrick scowled but stalked out of the room, followed by the rest of the pack and their respective girlfriends or wives. I waited until everyone was out of the room before I closed the door behind them. I turned back to Embry.
"Ro, remember when I explained to you about werewolves and that tribe and stuff." Embry said after a second. I nodded carefully. "Well, I left out one thing…" He looked pleading, but when I didn't volunteer an opinion on this, he ran his hand through his hair. "There's this thing, called imprinting. It's when a werewolf--he sees some human, and suddenly, his entire world turns around. The imprint becomes the center of gravity, it's--like a soul mate, but almost more intense." I felt my eyes widen. I knew what he was getting at. He wouldn't be bringing it up if it weren't me. "For werewolves--being away from their imprint can ruin their mood, and having their imprint taken from them--like, be hurt or killed or something--can destroy them." He bit his lip, looking at me. "This person, the imprint, is everything. The apocalypse would come, and as long as the imprint survived, the werewolf would be A-okay."
"So it's like falling in love with someone?" I asked, trying to relate it to something knew, but Embry hesitated, before he nodded hesitantly.
"It's like love at first sight, but more legitimate." He bit his lip. "Once you phase for the first time, you can find your imprint at anytime." He sighed. "Remember, the first day I was back at school, after I was out? I took one look at you and I choked--suddenly I knew. You were mine." He waited, and I blinked. His voice had taken on a ridiculously possessive tone there, and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about that--I didn't belong to anyone, but on the other hand, Embry being possessive was sort of… a nice feeling. He cared enough about me to fight for me.
"So, you're…" I murmured after a second, digesting this.
"In love with you." He told me flatly. "Have been for a while. And even before that, I was so close to asking you out before I phased." He shrugged. "But I was way too screwy, I didn't want to drag you into this, werewolves and shit, and last spring we had this big problem with the vampires--I was so scared you would be hurt if I even so much as talked to you." He looked nervous, all the sudden. "I'm so sorry, I couldn't tell you earlier: if I told you when you first called me back that night when you found out what we are, I thought you'd faint or something. Your brother and me were werewolves and all the guys and I didn't want to push you farther." Embry chewed on his lip.
"Okay…" I swallowed.
"It also means you can't… really leave La Push." My heart pounded in my chest as Embry's voice dropped to nearly inaudible as he mumbled the last part. "I mean, you're free to come and go as you please, but I can't leave La Push permanently, and I'm gonna get sort of unpleasant when you're not here." Embry's eyes were burning with regret as he looked up at me, and I bit my lip, panic seizing me. "Unless… you leave. Then I'll let you go, I swear it." He sounded distraught at the prospect, and tears jumped to my eyes.
I was trapped here.
It wasn't that I didn't love Embry--I did, at least as a friend if not more--or Derrick or anyone. But my entire life, my game plan had been graduate high school with good if not great grades and get the hell out of dodge. Mom had been playing fast and loose with my family my entire life: I had to plan to make it as stable as possible as soon as possible. It was just something I'd always depended on, one of my three constants--Embry, Derrick, and the fact that some day this would end. And maybe, I would have stuck around, had it been a choice.
But now it wasn't it a choice.
Because now Derrick and Embry were here. Forever. And Derrick was my brother, my twin--I could leave him here and move somewhere else and visit and we'd still be twins. But with Embry…Embry was… he was practically the love of my life, if not actually. You couldn't live across the country from someone you were dating, or you could but it was damned difficult.
I wasn't scared of a long distance relationship, though. I was scared because I felt trapped and growing up with no control led to control issues.
"Oh." I whispered, and a tear slipped through my defenses, and faster than I could stop him, Embry was standing and wrapping his arms around me, pulling me to him and hugging me tightly, folding himself around me as if he could protect me from everything. I shook my head, though, putting a hand on his chest and pushing: he released me as if I'd burned him. Tears jumped to his eyes, too, but he just let his arms dangle at his sides. "I'm not… I'm not leaving you, I just need time to think--Em, please don't…" I whispered desperately, trying to explain. I needed time to think, I didn't have super powers. I couldn't exactly handle this. Em still looked like I'd torn his heart out of his chest and stomped on it, though, so I put my hands on the side of his face and kissed him, short but intense, before I pulled away. "This isn't the end, I just need to think." I whispered seriously to him, leaning my forehead against his, and he reluctantly nodded slowly, and I pulled away, tears coursing down my face as I stumbled to the door of the living room and tore it open. Everyone was in the kitchen down the hall, but they all saw me, and Emily stood and crossed to me, pulling me into her arms.
"Shh, Rosie, shh." She murmured to me. I felt some of the boys pass me, and Jared put his hand on my back, obviously agreeing to switch spots with Emily silently, because she released me and he put his arm around my shoulders, leading me to the staircase.
"Okay, shh, Ro, it's okay." Jared murmured to me, but the tears wouldn't stop. I'd hurt Embry, and it was already killing me. I hadn't meant to, I just had to think and I knew I wouldn't be able to if I felt trapped--I just needed to know I had a way out, even if I didn't use it.
"Embry," Derrick's growl was audible from the mere feet we were from the door to the living room. "What the fuck did you--"
"Leave him alone, Derrick," Quil said in a shaky voice. "Rose just left him--"
"She's not leaving me." Embry's voice was softer, but I could hear it, because everyone in there shut up to listen to what he had to say. "She just wants time--she's not leaving me though."
"Oh, Thank God." Emily's praise made me sob softly, and Jared just wrapped his arms around me, hugging me more tightly as I sobbed again and again. Jared hesitated before he took a deep breath.
"Guys, we can hear you and you're not helping." Jared said in a measured tone, and Derrick popped into the hallway. He glanced at me and cursed under his breath, and hesitated, glancing back at his packmates. My eyes were fluttering now, and when I tried to focus on something, the room kind of spun. "Derrick, do something." Jared urged as I sagged against him. "She's passing out." Then Derrick was lifting me up, one arm under my shoulders and one arm under my knees, protectively cradling me against his chest.
"I'm taking Rose home, guys." Derrick said quietly above my head. "I just--I need the night off, I've been ditching her a lot…" I didn't even have the energy to note how the boys seemed worried about me, or how Jake put a hand on my head before someone opened the door for Derrick.
And then I was out cold.