All characters belong to JKR
Chapter 10:
Hermione couldn't remember the last time she was as angry as this. Actually, yes she could, it was third year, Hogwarts, and Draco Malfoy was gloating to his friends that 'thanks to him', Hagrid's pet Hippogriff was about to be executed. Back then she was so angry that she slapped him right across the face.
That was what she should have done this time.
How could he tell everyone that she was sad and depressed! How embarrassing! He even told Oliver 'Effing' Woods, for Merlin's sake! He told her parents…worse, he told HIS PARENTS, who already hated her. They were probably planning on how to have her committed, or planning on how they could get custody of her son, since she was so UNSTABLE!
He told Harry! Then Harry 'the hero' Potter told Draco that perhaps Hermione had the 'baby blues'! What would he know about the baby blues? He had never had a baby, nor was he a woman! He wasn't even a father yet. How dare Harry and Draco discuss her mental health without her? Harry wasn't qualified to make a diagnosis. He was a freaking Auror, not a Healer.
She wondered if everyone thought she was weak now. Did they think less of her? Did they question her sanity? Did they feel sorry for her? Wasn't everyone allowed to have a time in their life when they feel down? Weren't people allowed to feel like crap occasionally? Wasn't she human?
She continued to pace back and forth in the cabin, where she apparated to after she left Draco in the woods, and she had one thought, she hoped Draco got lost, and wetter.
She sat down at the table and placed her head on her arms. If Draco was so concerned for her, why had he not spoken to her about it? He spoke to everyone else. Did he actually think it would make her happier if he stayed away from her, if he really thought she was so bloody sad? Did he really think he had to discuss her with everyone else but her?
Hermione lifted her head and gasped! Of course, that was what he thought! That was why he had been so distant. He was trying to give her space, because he thought that was what she wanted. He spoke with everyone but her because he thought he COULDN'T talk with her, because he knew she would act just as she did.
Hermione stood up and walked to the front door, and threw it open. She called his name. There was no answer. That poor man! His statement about her not needing him was evidence of the fact that he thought he was not relevant to her. He thought he was helping her by giving her space, staying away, not even aware that, that was the last thing she needed. The fact that he spoke about her to everyone, even people he didn't really like, showed that he cared about her and what he perceived as her problems. He went out of his way to seek other's advice, and he did it for her!
What a kind, sweet, endearing, but extremely stupid man. She dried herself with her wand, went to the kitchenette to make some coffee for him, and then once the coffee was made she sat on the porch to wait for him, a cup of hot coffee for him in one hand, a cup of tea for her in the other.
The rain was merely a light sprinkle now. The sky was still unusually grey for the time of day, and there was more humidity in the air now, so Draco took off his jacket and tied it around his waist. He wandered aimlessly through the woods, uncertain how to get back to the cabin by walking. He could apparate, but he wasn't sure that he should. His wife was very, very angry, and he frankly didn't want to face her right now, or maybe ever.
Why was she allowed to bring up all of her concerns and problems this weekend, but the one time he did, she jumped down his throat. He realized that he went about it wrong. He was less than forthcoming in the way he approached it. He rather blurted it out, almost as an afterthought, even though it was something he had wanted to discuss with her for a very long time, but he knew she would react this way.
Just as she knew he would be upset when she finally told him how she could have died if she had another baby, he knew she would be upset if and when he talked to her about her sadness.
Why couldn't she see that he loved her more than life itself, and he merely wanted her to be happy and healthy? Sure, he didn't go about things in the right way, but he was Draco Malfoy, he never went about things in the right way, and she should accept him for his shortcomings, just as he should accept her for hers.
He sighed. He no sooner had that thought when he realized that he wasn't accepting of her shortcomings. He knew she was proud, and would not take kindly to the fact that he had been discussing their personal affairs with half of the Wizarding World, and even with some Muggles. He knew she would be embarrassed. He was afraid of confronting her for those very reasons, and that was his problem, not hers. She was just the same old Hermione Granger that she always was.
She was proud, reserved, hotheaded, stubborn, and evasive, everything that she had been all their lives, and he frankly loved all those things about her. He felt badly that he hadn't talked things over with her. He was a coward. Always was, and always would be. He was underhanded, and he often skewed things to his benefit…again, always had and always would. He manipulated her today. He waited for this moment to spring this on her, when he should have sat her on the couch, taken her by the hand, and said, "Sweetheart, I love you and I'm concerned that you are unhappy, can you tell me why."
He apparated back to the cabin.
He walked around the main room, and noticed that the front door was partly open. He dried off with his wand, threw his jacket over the chair, and walked outside. The sound of the screen door squeaking caused her to look up from her place on the stone steps off the front porch.
He approached her. "Is that coffee for me?" he asked.
"It might be cold now," she said. She pointed her wand at the cup and then handed it up to him. He took it, sat down next to her on the steps, and then before he took a drink he placed it behind him on the porch.
He took her face in his hands, and kissed her lips, softly and warmly and with intent. Then he reached behind him for the coffee, took a sip, and said, "My goodness, Granger, when will you ever learn to make a decent cup of coffee?"
"You can have some of my tea," she said, holding up another cup.
He merely shook his head and placed his cup back on the porch. He reached for hers and placed it beside it. She leaned her head on his shoulder and said, "I over reacted."
"And I approached things wrong," he said in return. "I should never have discussed things with everyone before I talked to you."
"I should have talked to you, too." She leaned over, so that her upper body was across his lap. He rubbed his left hand on her back. She finally said, "I think I have been a bit sad and depressed."
"I know," he said. He leaned down and kissed the middle of her back, moved her hair, and kissed her neck. "I know you, Granger. You're my other half, some might say, my better half. I know you as well as I know myself."
She sat back up and held his hand. "I've also been a bit bored and lonely, though, to be truthful."
"I know that, too," he said. "And I've been avoiding talking to you, because I was afraid of how you would react. Truly, I only talked to the others because I wanted assurances that you would be okay. I've been worried. I've been afraid. I've been afraid that you didn't want to be married to me any longer."
"I would never leave you," she said plainly.
"I hope that's true," he said.
"I want to go back to work," she suddenly said. He nodded. "I don't want a stranger to take care of the baby, but I really want to go back to work, so I don't know the solution. I feel torn, but I need more stimuli. Dr. Carlisle has asked me to head a research group that will incorporate Muggle Medicine with Magical Healing, to see how it might benefit the Wizarding world. He said he would like for me to go to a Muggle University, and get a degree in Muggle Medicine, but that would take years to complete."
"But do you want to do this?" he asked.
She nodded, somewhat hesitantly, and said, "At first I didn't, because I truly did want another child, but when I found out that I shouldn't have any more, I started to seriously think about his suggestion. It would take a lot of schooling. He said that I could go right to Medical School, because of my Healer training, and he already has approval at a very prestigious Muggle Research Hospital, and they would co-sponsor my education, along with St. Mungo's."
He laughed and said, "You really want to go back to school…wait, that's a stupid question, of course you do."
"I do," she agreed. "But what about Cam?"
"Granger," he started, "have I told you lately how much I hate my job?"
"You do?" she asked, surprised.
He nodded this time and said, "I only became an Auror in the beginning because Potter and Weasley did, and I wanted to prove to them that I could do anything they could, and if you ever reveal that fact to anyone, I will have to seriously consider killing you, or perhaps cutting your tongue out."
She thought that was extreme. "Ouch," she remarked with a smile. "Why haven't you told me this before?"
"Because, you work, so I thought I should work. I didn't want to appear as a lazy git, but I don't have to work, we don't need the money, and frankly I don't really enjoy it," he admitted.
She laughed again and said, "You just don't like getting up early in the morning."
"That's part of it, and I won't pretend otherwise," he said seriously. He brought her hand up to his mouth, kissed it lightly and said, "I would have quit years ago, but I had my sights on you, early on, when you were still with Weasley, and I stayed in the Auror department so I could keep tabs on you."
She grinned and said, "You did not."
"But of course I did," he said glibly.
"Were you my stalker?" she asked.
"In an unofficial capacity only," he joked. "I really just meant that by working with the Wonder Wit and his sidekick, I could continue to hear about what you were up to, and I would get to see you occasionally."
"You liked me before Ron's wedding?" she asked, seriously.
"Yes, I did," he answered bluntly. She was shocked. He had never told her this before. "When Weasley started seeing Pansy on the side, I was convinced Potter would tell you right away, and I thought I might find an opening, so that I could rescue you in a way. I was furious that Potter never told you. He's such a self-righteous prat."
Hermione laughed.
"Then, I was this close to telling you myself, I had even composed an anonymous letter, spelling out all of the sordid details, when finally, Weasley told you. He came back after he told you, crying on Harry's shoulder, about how badly you took it. It took all of my strength not to throttle the man. Frankly, I was a wee bit proud of Potter. He told the man off royally. It was high time. I wanted to go comfort you, but I knew that you wouldn't be receptive to that."
"I wish in a way that you had. I even wish you had told me, so that I would have known before they were engaged, for goodness sakes," she responded.
"So do I," he admitted. He placed his arm around her shoulder, and kissed her cheek. "But if I had told you, you might have found some way to blame me, in some weird way. You would have become extremely angry, so I had to bide my time, and wait for you to find out, and then I had to find a way to heal you, and pursue you. I figured that the wedding would be a great time to do that. I couldn't believe my luck when Potter said you were coming."
He continued, "I knew the fact that you were going to the wedding meant one of two things. Either you were over him, or more likely, you were sad and depressed and wanted to wallow in self-pity."
"Boy, when you are right, you're right. You know me too well," she gleamed.
"Yes, I figured you would go to wallow. It was righteously ironic and incredibly funny when you threw that whole handful of rice right at his head after the ceremony! Some even went in his mouth!"
They both laughed.
"You helped me so much that day," she said. "I'm sorry I've been pushing you away ever since. You're my husband, and the best friend I've every had, and I need to appreciate you more, and the fact that you have been there for me, both now and then, means so much to me. I love you, Draco Malfoy."
"Good, I would hate to think that my love was unrequited," he said in return. He stood up and pulled her to stand as well. He walked up the steps, but before he walked in the cabin, he held her tightly in his embrace. "So, one problem solved, right? You want to go back to school, and work, and I don't, so I'll take care of Cyggy, okay?"
"You can be a kept man," she said smiling.
"I think I'm well groomed for the position," he said seriously.
"With this decision made, we also have another commandment," she said.
"Really, when did that happen?" he asked, one brow in the air.
She pulled him into the cabin and walked over to the table, where their list was resting on top. She wrote something quickly and handed it to him. He smiled and said, "Seven down, three to go."
Ten Commandments to a Good Marriage, by Draco and Hermione
1.) Thou shall not avoid your spouse. Do not avoid talking to them. Do not avoid spending time with them. Do not avoid telling them how you think and what you feel. Don't assume to know what they want, by avoiding them.
2.) No lying to your spouse under any circumstance, no matter what, because all lies have the potential of hurting other.
3.) Before retiring each night, tell your spouse one thing you like about them, or say one genuinely nice thing to them, and never let issues or petty fights from the day continue until the next day. Resolve all issues before bed and then smile and make the other person happy, because you're in love with them, after all.
4.) All life decisions that affect both partners, their family, their home, and their hearts, shall be made jointly, regardless of the fact that one partner might make more money than the other. Marriage is an equal partnership, and no one has more say in any decision than the other person.
5.) Marriage is about giving and receiving. Selfishness should be avoided. Think before you act, and before considering your feelings, think of your spouse first. Always put their feelings above and before your own. Trust your instincts. If you are afraid something might hurt the other person, it probably will.
6.) Everyday you should strive to make your spouse laugh or smile. Enjoy each other. Find comfort in each other. Play silly games, make up songs, find joy in the little things, and most important of all, remember to always end and start the day with a simple, "I love you", because if you do, you should say it. In other words, be nice and never say mean or hateful things to the person whom you love the most, and who loves you just as much.
7.) If you can't talk to the person you're married to, then you shouldn't talk to anyone. Even if the problem is with them, you need to speak with them first. Be truthful with your emotions, wants, and desires. Don't be afraid to admit what you want and need. Don't be afraid of rejection. Ultimate trust and honestly must be preserved at all times, if a marriage is to be successful. If you can't share your hopes, dreams, fears, and failures, with the person who loves you the most, and without fear of retribution, then you shouldn't share them with anyone else.