I almost decided not to update, but then I realized that I didn't want to be that girl on fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the plot

CHAPTER 10: THE TEAM

I walked to my normal bench outside and pulled out my old knife. (I had stolen it back from Grayson; he either didn't notice or didn't care.) I sighed and pulled up my sleeve. It had been a hard week. Since Jonas decided to layoff for a while, all the other boys decided to take a stab at taunting me.

Yesterday the group of seniors I ran into decided to tape "FAG" all over my locker. And today, a group of seventh graders told me to strip in the middle of the hallway. All of them ended up in a temporary coma, and the best part was I even got extra credit.

I sighed again, slicing my knife across my arm.

I thought about my mother's last words.

I had just joined the group again when my mother assembled all the Blackthorne Boys in the official Circle meeting room.

"Boys, a few minutes ago we had an alarm sound. That alarm is for a break in. Don't worry though, the problem has been taken care of and the intruder has been taken care of. For your safety you are to stay here until further instruction, and then we will continue your tour."

Before I knew it we were back on the bus. I sat next to the window next to Chase, and he sat next to Grayson. Grayson was too busy socializing with the rest of the bus, to notice my conversation with Chase.

"You okay?" he asked.

I turned my head away from the window and looked at him, "Yea, I'm fine? Why are you looking me like that?" I said feigning innocence.

"Nothing," he shook his head and directed his attention back to Grayson.

I looked down at my hands and thought the words over and over again.

"The problem has been taken care of and the intruder has been taken care of."

Who did I hurt at the expense of letting the girl go?

The lunch bell rang.

I sat down next to Chase who seemed preoccupied with something else. It almost seemed unnatural to ask, "You okay?"

He turned around, completely surprised at me; like he hadn't even noticed I had sat down.

Story of my life, right?

"Yes," then he rethought his answer, "No. It's complicated. I'm looking for Alex James."

"Emo Alex James?" I asked poking the mashed potatoes on my tray.

Chase gave me a look like, 'Really? You of all people?'

I shrugged and looked around the cafeteria. I wasn't even surprised to not see him around. Alex James was a lot like me actually. The only really dominant issue was the he was open about his cutting and emo-ness, if I may call it that. He dyed his hair black last year. And whenever we get the chance to go to town, he wears all black. The dude even wears eyeliner. Granted, he's one of this schools best students and his father runs a very important and classified organization. Although, he does have a lot more gay rumors following him than I do.

"Why are you looking for him?" I asked my eyes still on the mashed potatoes.

"I thought we should let him eat at our table."

But Alex didn't show up.

Instead, Jonas and Sean decided to sit at our table again.

They had found nothing on the girl.

This plan was starting to sound more hopeless than ever.

I walked outside after curfew to get some fresh air. I had been so busy with homework that I hadn't even gotten time for cut.

I was about to walk to my bench (hereby referred to The Bench) when I heard a noise. I looked out to see no one other than Alex James slitting his wrists.

See, no one knows I cut; other than Grayson, no one.

But Alex was a different story; everyone knew Alex was a cutter. He showed his scars to seventh graders to scare them off. But no one had ever seen him cut.

Part of me almost didn't believe he did. After all I was always outside whenever we had any free time. And I've never even seen him outside of classes. But now it's starting to make sense. The reason why no one had ever seen him cut was because he made sure no one could see him. If there was anyone else in this entire school that could sneak out and not get caught, it was him. Him and of course Chase and I, but Chase would rather cut his balls off than sneak out after curfew.

And suddenly Alex James wasn't someone I needed to stay away from; he was someone who I needed on my side

"Hey, Alex, you know that's my bench?"

Alex James turned around startled; the look on his face was priceless.

I walked (okay, I strutted) towards him, sat right next to him, pulled my sleeve up, pulled out my knife, and cut my arm.

Dear Lord, I wish I could have taken a picture of his face.

"You know, I usually call this my bench, but I think I'm okay with calling it the cutter's bench."

He face was still frozen in what looked like sheer shock. I laughed.

"Don't look so surprised, just because I don't announce it to the world, doesn't mean I don't do it."

Suddenly he regained his composure.

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking at the ground, "I never pictured you as the sort of guy who cut himself."

I raised my eyebrows, "Then what did you pictured me as?"

"An arrogant asshole who thinks he rules the world because of where his mom works."

My mouth dropped for two reasons.

Number 1, because I've never heard Alex James say something so insulting to anyone's face, and Number 2, I didn't consider myself arrogant.

I know I'm not a saint, and I'm not nice to people at all. But I've never been arrogant. At least I didn't think I was.

See that night Alex James made me realize something about myself, that I would have never even noticed.

After so many years of hurt, I had subconsciously built up a wall. And that wall was cocky, arrogant, and just right down bitchy. It was someone I had created to get people to stay away. Because somewhere in my head, I knew the minute someone got too close, they started to see the real me.

And for me, nothing was worse than being completely unguarded.

That night was one with little detail. We sat there for a while just cutting, not even talking. And later we walked together back to the sophomore bunker.

When we walked in, we were greeted by a crazy Jonas, who in fact had stayed up all night finding the girl. He had found a lead, through one of the girl's friends.

"I think we might have her. But we need to talk to this other girl, who apparently is close friends with her." Sean nodded and passed some papers to me. It was strange to see that they had tracked her down through twitter. I almost did a double take, what kind of a spy has a twitter?

"But the girl's not easy to find. We're gonna need a team, and a good one too." I looked around the room, mentally picking out the team members. I had Chase, Jonas, Grayson, Sean, and even Alex so far. But with this mission we would need a lot more.

"What's her name?" I asked, my eyes still scanning the room.

"Cameron Morgan."

There you have it, the grand ending of chapter 10. Check next Monday for the continuation... trust me you'll love it. Leave reviews if you like it and I'm gonna ask you something personal.

If you'd like to, would you mind telling me how you got out of depression. So if you had it, would you mind saying how you got out. It's just as though I feel if I know you I can really write FOR you.

K, bye.

Danie

PS. Right now I'm really scared because the is a ginger following me on fanfiction. Now I know here, but she's got me freaking out... she even reviewed... so GINGER LEAVE ME ALONE! You know who you are...