Chapter 10: Kiku's POV

When I woke up, I was confused for a moment about why I was so warm. The events of the night before came rushing back to me, and my eyes snapped open, a blush instantly setting my cheeks on fire. I wasn't pressed up against Heracles quite as much as I had been when I fell asleep, and his arms had loosened around me, but I was still close enough to see his eyelashes flutter ever so slightly in his sleep. He looked so calm, so peaceful, so serene, that I just didn't have the heart to wake him up. Instead, I closed my eyes again and snuggled closer, pressing myself to the comforting warmth of his chest. I laid there for a few moments, just enjoying his presence and basking in his existence. It was nice, just lying there with nothing to worry about and no reason to even want to move. It was the kind of drowsy contentedness that I didn't get often, between school and him. I loved it.

I froze at that thought. Love… was that what that was? That burning desire that I never had around anyone else to reach out and share even the smallest of touches with Heracles? The electric shivers that ran down my spine every time he laughed or brushed up against me or even so much as glanced my way? The emptiness, the all-encompassing hollowness that consumed me every time he wasn't around? The way that the sound of his voice or the touch of his hand or even simply his presence calmed me down? The way he made me feel so safe that I could bring myself to relax and enjoy my time with him?

No. That couldn't be that. It couldn't. Because that would mean that I had the chance of accidentally destroying the fragile friendship we had with one misspoken word, one instinctive action, one unintentional touch. Because that was all that we were: friends. I didn't even know if he felt the same, or if there was even the chance that he'd feel the same.

I sighed softly. I had to sort out my feelings, figure out what I wanted, before I said or did anything. I had to find out how he felt about me. I had to know for sure before I accidentally did something I'd regret later. I couldn't risk it.

I couldn't love Heracles.

A few hours later, Heracles and I were forced out of bed by Akantha, who bounced into our rooms rambling about how we should've been up hours ago since it was Christmas. When she saw the position we were in—I was almost certain my face was on fire; I was still cuddled next to Heracles—she shot her son a knowing look that I wasn't sure I liked and told us to hurry up and get ready. It was embarrassing, sure, but somehow I didn't mind it as much as if it had been someone else to walk into the room at that moment. I wasn't sure that Heracles had been awake enough to understand the situation at the moment, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, either.

We rushed downstairs and for once, I felt like I was able to be the enthusiastic child on Christmas I had never had the chance to be. It was exhilarating. We all exchanged gifts, even though there weren't many. Apparently, Heracles and Akantha's extended family didn't keep in touch, so they were used to having small celebrations. It was kind of sad, to think of a younger Heracles bouncing downstairs early on Christmas morning to only find one—or, if his dad decided to take an interest in his family for once, two—presents under the tree, but I had the feeling he had never minded it much. He didn't seem like the kind of person who would've been anything but overjoyed about whatever he got, no matter what the circumstances were.

For me, on the other hand, it was new to even have the holiday be remembered. He had always hated the idea of spending money frivolously on children he, in his own words, hadn't even wanted. He had been fine, until my mother had died, but after that… he had kind of fallen apart. That was when things like Christmas and birthday parties had become part of the past for Yao. He had always said I was lucky not to have been old enough to remember any of it.

I had always wondered, though, what it would feel like to be surrounded by happy, loving family on days like that. It was sad, honestly, that Yao hadn't gotten more of them. But what had happened had happened, and I refused to think about the past that day.

Heracles, Akantha, and I spent the day just lounging around the house, none of us even bothering to change out of our pajamas. It was interesting to see the difference between heaven and hell right before my eyes, and I loved every second of it.

Nothing really happened until that night. Heracles had insisted that I slept in the same bed as him, to ward off the nightmares of him that would probably have ended up haunting me and making me wake up screaming like I had the night before. I was still terrified that he'd find out about my trip to Greece, and that he'd hurt Heracles for it. I couldn't stand it if Heracles ever got hurt for me. That would be worse than anything my father could ever do to me. Even though I could feel my face burning in embarrassment, I gave in and fell asleep in Heracles' arms for the second time.

"Kiku. Hey, Kiku, wake up."

Heracles' voice pierced through the dreamless black of my sleep, slowly pulling me back to consciousness. I blinked slightly, amazed that I had been able to sleep as deeply as I had been. I was usually a light sleeper, on guard against any sign of him.

"Kiku, come on. I want to show you something."

I looked up at Heracles and realized that it was still so dark that I could barely see his outline. I glanced at the red numbers on the digital clock next to the bed and groaned. It read 1:56 AM.

"What? Heracles, it's almost two in the morning."

I heard him chuckle and a gentle hand ruffled my hair. "I know. That's the point. Come on, I promise it's worth it."

I sighed softly, knowing that I wouldn't be able to say no. I sat up, rubbing the last remnants of sleep from my eyes. "Alright. Where are we going?"

I could just barely see his grin in dim moonlight streaming in from his bedroom window. "The roof. It's easiest to see from there."

His whispered words surprised me. What on earth were we going to the roof at two in the morning for?

I followed him to the window and bit my lip as he swung himself out and to the side. I saw him look sideways through the window and smile.

"You coming?" he held his hand out and I gingerly took it, wobbling a bit as he gently led me onto the ledge of the window.

I looked over and saw a set of metal rungs set into the back of the house, leading up to what I assumed was the roof. He moved down a bit, then helped me get my feet onto the ladder. I froze, gripping the rung in front of me tightly as I felt bits of rust flake off in my hands. I had never been good with heights, and rusty ladders attached to the sides of houses didn't help any.

I felt a gentle hand on my leg and heard Heracles' whispered words float through the beginnings of my panic. "Kiku, it's alright. It's perfectly safe, I promise. Just start climbing. It's not that far." His soft reassurances gave me the courage enough to climb and eventually find myself helping him onto the roof.

He smiled at me as he sat down on the tiles of the roof. He didn't say anything, but I knew that he wasn't judging me for my probably absurd fear of heights. We sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet of the night, before I broke it.

"So… Why are we out here?"

He laughed softly. "Just wait. It should start in a couple minutes."

I shivered slightly as a cold breeze ruffled the trees and ran across my skin. I hadn't thought to grab a sweatshirt or a jacket, so it raised goosebumps on my skin. Without saying a word, Heracles wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer so that I was pressed against him. I was suddenly very warm.

Before I had a chance to comment on his actions, however, he pointed to the sky. "Watch,"

I looked up, a bit confused. As I was about to ask Heracles exactly what I was watching, a faint but high-pitched whistle sounded from over the water.

Suddenly, a boom echoed through the night air and the world was lit up in a dazzling array of shimmering colors. Gold, amethyst, emerald, azure, crimson, and rose lit up the sky, momentarily blotting out the silver of the stars as the fireworks began to explode in series of gorgeous and stunning patterns that took my breath away. I couldn't help a gasp of awe as I stared at the fireworks display that by far beat what I had used to see as a small child on the fourth of July. I looked over at Heracles, amazed, and could see his grin clearly in the new light.

"I told you it was worth it, didn't I?" the colors were reflected in his eyes, turning them different shades of green, each more stunning than the last.

I couldn't restrain the laugh of pure joy that bubbled up from my chest. I was amazed; I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed like that. "It's beautiful,"

I could've sworn he whispered something along the lines of "So are you," but it was probably something I had hallucinated in the pops of the next set of fireworks being set off.

I turned my attention back to the aweing display in the sky and felt Heracles' hand brush lightly over mine, coming to rest in such a way that our fingertips barely brushed. Even so, that small touch sent tingles of joy up my spine.

It was then that I realized two things. One: I was in love with Heracles.

Two: I would have to hide my feelings for him to keep him safe.

We spent the next several hours sitting like that, one of his arms slung around my shoulders and the other just brushing our hands together.