If only as a force of habit, Shilo went to visit her mother's tomb that night.

She walked through the front gates to the graveyard that night, instead of using the secret passage she had always used to use when she snuck out. It was strange to go the normal way, but better than reliving how the whole disastrous opera night had begun for her…

She had half expected to be stopped by some guards somewhere along the way, but for some reason, the graveyard was as quiet as…well, the grave. There were no searchlights, no guards patrolling the rows of tombstones, nothing. Shilo was under too much stress to bother worrying about it, though.

As she approached her mother's tomb and looked through the little window in the doorway to see her mother's portrait, a strong wave of nostalgia swept over her. How often had she come here, alone, just to clear her head and maybe catch a bug or two? How many times had she snuck out to be with her mother, not knowing that her father only kept her locked inside to protect her from the horrors of the real world? How much bitterness had she wasted on her parents, night after night, for being stuck at home?

She remembered how the whole catastrophe had begun - in this exact place, at roughly the same time of night, when she had met Graverobber, who had been reciting the way the world looked through his eyes as he disturbed the eternal rest of the dead. She hadn't understood what he had been saying at the time, but looking back, it occurred to Shilo that he had been surprisingly insightful about what Rotti had turned the world into.

Of course, that memory brought back all her memories of that dark and fateful night: how she had unwittingly been thrust into the middle of a blood feud involving the most powerful people in the world, forced to learn only selected pieces of the tragedy and take a side that would determine the rest of her life, and decide the fate of many others…

And now, here she was, once more at the center of a titanic power struggle. The whole world weighed down on her shoulders then, and she couldn't take it any longer.

She turned around, sat down on the steps to her mother's tomb, cradled her head in her arms, and cried.

It wasn't fair. She didn't want to have anything to do with all this madness. So what if Rotti had dated her mother for a little while? She herself had no ties to GeneCo! She was just a child - how could the people of the world expect her to be able to determine their fate? Why?

And that was her predominant thought - the question that screamed in her mind - as her sobs racked her shoulders: Why me?…Why me?…Why me?

She was crying so hard that she didn't hear the footsteps approaching her, so it wasn't until he spoke that she realized she wasn't alone anymore.

"Is that you, kid?"

She jumped and looked up to see Graverobber standing not two feet away, looking at her.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "Go away," she said, glaring at him. "Leave me alone."

He blinked. "No offense, kid, but you don't seem like you're doing so well on your own," he pointed out.

"Look, I don't really want to talk to you," she said bitingly, knowing she was taking out her pain and frustration on him but not caring; "you're Amber's lover."

He sighed. "We fuck sometimes," he said; "that doesn't mean I'm on her side."

"Do you have any idea how sick and wrong that is?" she demanded of him.

"Sadly, yes," he replied; "I do."

Shilo shook her head, still glaring at him, then put her head back down in the cradle of her arms.

She heard him walk over to her and sit down next to her on her left. She ignored him.

He sighed again. "Look, kid," he said; "if this whole mess was up to me, I'd just say to hell with both of them and let them destroy each other."

She raised her head to look at him again.

"But…Well…" He shrugged, then smiled. "I suppose that's why it's not up to me," he said to her.

Shilo said nothing, but she didn't look away again, either.

There was silence for a minute. Finally, Shilo turned her head to look off into the distance.

"Why are you with her, if you're not on her side?" she asked Graverobber softly.

He sighed again. "I have my vices," he said evasively.

Shilo glanced back at him. He didn't meet her eyes.

She nodded, turning her head away again. "She's pretty," she said tonelessly.

"Pretty?" Graverobber repeated. "Uh, no - you, kid, are pretty."

Shilo turned to look at him again; she could feel herself starting to blush.

"Amber is inhumanly beautiful," Graverobber went on.

Shilo felt like she had been shot down from the sky.

"And even though I know her beauty is literally unnatural - and therefore inferior to, say, yours - well…" He shrugged. "I have my vices," he said again.

Shilo blinked; his words had sent her emotions on a little roller-coaster ride, and she wasn't sure whether to be insulted or flattered.

"We all have our vices," she finally said. "That doesn't mean we have to give in to them."

Graverobber looked straight ahead and chuckled slightly but said nothing.

"You think I don't know what I'm talking about?" Shilo asked.

He did look at her then. "I didn't say that," he said.

"But you were thinking it, weren't you?" Shilo pressed.

He sighed. "Look, kid, no offense, but what vices could you possibly have?" he asked, not unkindly. "You grew up away from all this."

"Rotti didn't invent people's vices," Shilo said, "he just appealed to them and encouraged people to give in to them. He did that with me."

"I ask again: What vices could you possibly have?" Graverobber asked her.

She smiled ironically. "I know how to hold a grudge, for one thing," she replied.

Graverobber blinked.

"When I thought I was sick, I hated my mother for giving me my disease," Shilo went on. "Yeah, it killed her, and yeah, it wasn't her fault, but I hated her anyway."

Graverobber stared at her. "I…" He shook his head and chuckled. "I'm sorry, but I just can't imagine you hating anyone," he said.

"You don't even know me," Shilo pointed out coldly.

He gave a half-shrug and looked away again.

There was silence again for another minute. Then, Graverobber sighed.

"I know I don't have to give in to my vices," he said, "but it's not as though anyone's getting hurt if I am. On the contrary," he added with a nasty smile that he thankfully didn't direct at Shilo.

"But you don't care about her," Shilo half-asked tonelessly.

"No," he admitted. "That's not to say I'd be particularly happy if something happened to her, but I wouldn't be upset, either."

"That's sick," Shilo stated.

"How so?" asked Graverobber. "I enjoy her. Not that there's nothing wrong with that, but to say it's sick is a bit of a stretch."

"Just out of pure curiosity," Shilo said, turning her head to look at him again: "What is it that you think is wrong with that?"

He glanced at her. "Well, you saw what she was like two months ago," he said. He shook his head. "Wouldn't it just figure?" he muttered, more to himself than to Shilo. "The only attractive junkie in the city, if not the whole world, and she was even more disgusting on the inside than all the others put together. At least the others actually look as nasty as they are."

"Yeah, like that one who started getting surgery and turning tricks when she was thirteen," Shilo agreed, remembering.

"Yeah, it doesn't take them long to stoop to that level," Graverobber said absentmindedly.

Shilo blinked. "Wait…what?" she asked.

Graverobber flinched, and Shilo saw guilt flash across his face. "Nothing," he said quickly…a bit too quickly.

Shilo's eyes widened. "You don't mean…?"

He closed his eyes.

"You?" she exclaimed.

"Yes," he admitted, shamefaced.

Shilo's jaw dropped, and she stared at him with shock and disgust.

He opened his eyes to see the way she was looking at him. "Look, I didn't want to," he said defensively.

"Then why did you?" Shilo demanded.

"Because I'm a whore, alright?" he snapped. "You can't be a grave-robber without being a Z-whore - that's one of the first things you learn when you get in the business!"

Shilo shook her head in disgust.

"Look, I don't control how old they are when they come to me," Graverobber went on angrily. "I hate it when they're kids! I'm not proud of it, I don't enjoy it, and it is never my idea!"

"She was thirteen!" Shilo exclaimed.

"I've dealt with younger," he snapped defensively.

Shilo blinked. "WHAT?" she shouted.

Graverobber winced. "Er…That came out wrong," he said lamely.

"How could that have come out 'wrong'?" Shilo demanded. "I mean, any more 'wrong' than it already is?"

"I didn't mean…Look, I haven't taken alternative payment from younger!" he exclaimed.

"'Alternative payment'?" Shilo repeated coldly.

He sighed. "Yes," he said; "that's what we in the business call it."

Shilo shook her head again, glaring at him disgustedly. "You're sick," she spat.

He glared back. "If they offer me alternative payment, I have no choice but to accept," he told her; "that's just part of the job, and my least favorite part at that. I never suggest it to them, but by the time they've had three surgeries, they're typically worse than GENterns."

"Please tell me we're at least talking only about women," Shilo practically begged.

"Yes," he said, glaring at her; "not that that makes it any better and you know it." Shilo opened her mouth to say something else, but before she could make a sound, he snapped, "Look, can we change the subject, please? You were the one sitting here crying, not me!"

"Oh, yeah," Shilo said sarcastically, "thanks for reminding me that the fate of the whole world is fully, completely, and totally in my hands for no reason I can even begin to think of!"

He sighed, his anger dissipating. "Sorry," he said softly.

Shilo just glared at him for another minute, then looked straight forward again without saying anything.

"Look," he finally said gently, "you don't have to like me. You don't have to approve of the life I chose. You can be as disgusted with me as you want. That's fine. But…" She turned her head back to him as he sighed again. "Talk to me," he coaxed her softly. "Regardless of how I may live the rest of my life…maybe things will be clearer for you if you talk it all out with someone. So, talk to me."

"Don't you have a queen to fuck?" Shilo snapped contemptuously.

"Not for a few more hours," he replied with a shrug, apparently unoffended.

Shilo closed her eyes and thought for a moment.

"Okay," she finally sighed.

She told Graverobber about how the Repo-men had abducted her, about Jack's story and his plea, and about the humanity she had seen in him even though he insisted that he was a monster. She told him about talking to Amber the very next morning, about the revisions to Jack's story that the GeneCo heiress had given her, about the suffering Amber had endured at the hands of her own father and how she had begged Shilo to give her a chance to make up for everything.

When she was done, there was silence for a minute.

"I don't know what to do," Shilo finally said. "They both seem like they deserve some sort of compensation for what Rotti did to them…I mean, they were both his victims - it doesn't even really make sense that they're on opposite sides."

Graverobber sighed. "Well," he commented, "I certainly understand why you were crying earlier. What they told you is a lot to handle on its own, never mind that you have to decide the fate of the world while you're still coming to terms with your own past."

"What should I do?" Shilo asked. "I feel bad for both of them."

He sighed again. "Well, kid," he said, "all I can say is that, if you can't decide which of them deserves more sympathy, then you should base your choice on some other factor."

Shilo nodded. It was good advice, even if it wasn't very helpful at that moment.

They were silent for another minute.

"How long have you known Amber?" Shilo finally asked.

He sighed. "She was my customer for five years," he replied; "although, to be fair, to say that I've known her for five years might be a bit of a stretch."

"Even physically?" Shilo couldn't help teasing, turning to him and smiling in spite of herself.

He smiled back. "Especially physically," he said.

Shilo blinked.

His smile widened. "I know," he said sarcastically; "shocker, right? Bitch never paid me in anything but money until the night of the opera." He shook his head and looked away again. "Naturally," he muttered under his breath.

Shilo decided not to question what exactly he meant by that.

"Do you and she ever talk?" she asked him instead. "I mean, now that she's not your…um, customer? Or do you two just…?"

"Yes, we talk now…sometimes," Graverobber replied hesitantly. "Not very often, but…sometimes. Why?"

"When you were talking about her a little while ago, you were talking about the way she was," Shilo said. "You were saying she was disgusting, that she was nasty."

"Yes," Graverobber said slowly.

"Is she really different now?" Shilo asked him.

Graverobber didn't look at her. "She's…not her father," he said tonelessly. "That's all I can say."

"But is she…is she good?" Shilo pressed. "Is she as nice as she seemed when I talked to her today?"

He hesitated.

"Look, bottom line: Do you trust her?" Shilo asked him insistently.

He sighed.

"…There are days when I wish I did," he finally replied. He shrugged. "There are days when I wish I didn't."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Shilo, confused.

He sighed again and shook his head. "She's not…she's not inherently bad, like her father was," he said. "Sometimes - rarely, but sometimes - I…I get a glimpse of the person she maybe could have been if she hadn't been raised at the heart of her father's dark kingdom, and it's a good person I see then. Can she ever be that person? I don't know for sure. I…I sometimes believe that she wants to be, but I don't know if she can." He did look at Shilo then. "I'm sorry," he said; "I know you were hoping for an all-or-none answer, but…I'm afraid I can't give you one. It's just…not that simple. She's not that simple."

"Maybe the only reason it's not that simple is because you won't let it be," Shilo heard herself say.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked her.

Shilo shrugged. "Just that I don't think you're a very trusting person," she said. "I think that you're…afraid, to believe that she could be okay. Maybe you're even afraid to believe that anything can be okay, ever."

There was silence for a minute.

"Maybe," he finally admitted, turning his head to look away from her again. He paused, then added, "There is one thing I can say with some certainty, though: She's not smart enough to have made up that sheep stuff on her own - that almost certainly was Rotti's voice, not hers."

It was Shilo's turn to sigh. "Why me?" she asked softly. "Why does all of this have to be up to me?"

"Because you…" Graverobber broke off and shook his head.

"Because I what?" Shilo pressed. "If you know why all this is on me, please, tell me!"

He sighed. "Kid…" He turned his head back to her and looked her in the eye. "Rotti's influence spread across the entire globe," he told her, "and it corrupted everyone and everything it touched. Some got a worse case of it than others, but by the time he died, everyone was under his influence…except you. You are the only thing left in this world that Rotti didn't manage to touch…and since this whole war is about fighting what Rotti did, you're the only one the people feel like they can really trust to make the right choice."

"But I don't want this!" Shilo exclaimed, tears welling in her eyes again.

"I know you don't," he said softly. "I think everyone knows that. That's part of why it is up to you - because you aren't corrupt. You don't want power."

"Neither do you," Shilo pointed out.

He chuckled. "No, but I'm corrupted in my own way," he said.

"Are you talking about the fact that you desecrate graves to make a living, or the fact that you fuck kids to make a living?" Shilo shot at him.

Graverobber met her eyes sadly. "Kid, I don't do either of those things for the money," he told her. "Sure, I have to make a living, just like anyone else, but there's a reason I chose this job, and it has nothing to do with money, or sex, for that matter. In fact, to be honest, I took this job in spite of the sex."

"The night of the opera, you said that sometimes you wonder why you did it," Shilo said.

He nodded. "What I meant by that was that sometimes I wonder if it was worth it," he told Shilo. "There are times when I feel like it's not."

"Like when you're fucking kids?" Shilo snapped.

"Especially then, but not only then," Graverobber replied, bristling only slightly at Shilo's attacks.

"So what's it about, then?" Shilo asked coldly. "What could possibly make all of that worth it?"

Graverobber half-smiled and gestured at the graveyard in front of them. "This," he replied. "Robbing graves right under the noses of GeneCo's guards, then selling the Zydrate I harvest in Rotti's own backyard. Becoming a necromerchant was the closest I could safely get to spitting in Rotti's face."

Shilo blinked. "A what?" she asked.

"A necromerchant," he repeated. "It's the…all-encompassing term for my profession."

"Why 'necromerchant'?" she asked, curious.

He shrugged. "Well, Zydrate is decomposing brain matter," he replied. "That's why robbing graves is part of the job…" He chuckled. "Basically, my job is to sell rot."

Shilo was silent for a minute. Then, she realized what he'd said.

"Wait…the closest you could safely get to spitting in Rotti's face?" she repeated.

Graverobber looked at her. "Kid, everyone who stood up to Rotti ended up dead sooner or later," he told her; "your parents and Mag were just three of many. I was fortunate enough to realize that before I grew up and could do anything…so, when I did grow up, I realized I had three choices: I could stand up to Rotti and call him out on all the bullshit he was doing, and end up dead without having changed a thing; I could give in to what he was doing and embrace the stuff he preached, and end up worse than dead, in my opinion; or, I could accept what he was doing as impossible to fight, but live in his world in such a way that I used his system against itself. I chose the third option…so, here I am."

"But Rotti's dead now," Shilo said. "Besides, there are no guards out here tonight."

"I know," he replied, "but I'm too far in to back out now. A necromerchant is all I can ever be anymore." He gave her a twisted smile. "There's no going back for me, either," he said.

Shilo shook her head. "I'm really tired of hearing people talk about what they can and can't be anymore," she said exasperatedly. "How do you know what you can or can't be if you're not even willing to try?"

"Well, for one thing, I don't even remember my own name," Graverobber replied.

Shilo blinked.

He smiled ironically at her, and she didn't know if he was joking or not.

They were both silent for a minute.

"How come this place is so quiet tonight?" Shilo finally wondered out loud.

She hadn't really been expecting an answer, but to her surprise, Graverobber replied right away.

"It's part of my deal with Amber," he said, "not that I was really expecting her to be able to pull it off." He chuckled. "I actually wasn't planning on holding her to that term," he said. "Doesn't it just figure that she'd use my own demands against me?"

"Your deal?" Shilo questioned.

Graverobber nodded. "She and I have…an agreement," he said. "What she told Matthew the Repo-man was true - she asked for my help…and made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

"What?" asked Shilo.

"Anything," he replied. "She offered me a blank-check deal in exchange for becoming her advisor. Whatever terms I wanted, as many terms as I wanted."

"And that's how you became her 'consort'?" Shilo asked.

He nodded.

"So you asked her for…what?" asked Shilo stonily. "Sex?"

"And freedom from association with GeneCo, and immunity - for all necromerchants - without her letting anyone know she was legalizing it," Graverobber added.

Shilo just looked at him in disbelief.

"…So that's it?" she finally asked. "Advice for sex and freedom? That's all there is to your relationship with her?"

He sighed. "Look," he said, "what we have works. I don't expect you to understand it, but…it works for us, okay?"

She stared at him for a minute.

"You know what I think?" she finally said woodenly. "I think the reason that what you have with her 'works' for you…is because you just don't know how to feel."

He blinked.

"I think," Shilo went on, slowly and with emphasis, "that your heart…is cold…and dead. I think…that you just worked so hard not to turn into one of Rotti's sheep…that you closed off your heart to everything, until you couldn't care about anyone, not even yourself…and that what you have with Amber 'works'…because it's the closest you can come to feeling anything anymore."

He stared at her disbelievingly as she stood up without breaking eye contact with him.

"I hope you still have enough life in you that it's not too late," she told him, her voice as cold and hard as ice, "because I can see that, if you were human, you'd be a good man. I hope you can find yourself. And if you can't…then I am so…sorry…for you." She shook her head slightly. "But I wouldn't be surprised," she said. "I think you're dead inside, Graverobber - as dead as the bodies you dig up for a living. That's why this is the best part of your job, for you: because when you're here, you're with your own kind."

He looked too shocked to speak.

"Goodbye," Shilo said coldly, and she turned around and started walking out of the graveyard.

"Shilo," she heard him finally say behind her.

It was the first time he had ever called her by her name, but she ignored him.

"Shilo!" she heard him call.

She kept walking.

"You're wrong, Shilo!" he called to her back.

She didn't even slow down.

"You're wrong!" he called again. "I'm not dead inside!"

She kept going.

"I know I'm not dead inside," he shouted at her, "because I feel when I look at you!"

She stopped in her tracks.

When he didn't say anything more, she turned back to look at him and saw that he had stood up, his eyes looking at her and filled with a very real emotion, if one she couldn't quite identify.

"The night we met…" he said in a low, shaking voice, "the moment I looked in your eyes…I knew. I knew that you weren't part of all…" He made a vague, all-encompassing gesture with his arms, "of all this…that everything I thought couldn't be anymore - everything Rotti tried to destroy - lived on, if only in you. And Shilo…" He shook his head, looking like he was about to cry. "I felt something, then," he hissed. "And do you want to know what I felt?"

Shilo couldn't reply.

"I felt joy," he told her softly.

She blinked.

"I felt joy…and hope," he went on, "because I knew then that, even if you were all that was left, if you could just last until Rotti died of…of whatever…that there was a chance that this darkness wouldn't last forever."

They were both silent for a minute.

"Well, I hope I'm not the only thing that can make you feel," Shilo finally said, "because this is the last time we'll ever meet. Once I make my choice and end this war, I'm going to run away and never look back. I'm going to chase the morning until I die."

"And you have every right to," he said.

She nodded. "So hold on to this," she told him; "hold on to whatever it is I'm making you feel, and don't let yourself go cold again…because this is the last time you'll have my help." She tilted her head. "You have one chance," she said; "don't fuck it up."

He smiled, recognizing her allusion to her talk with Amber. "I won't," he vowed.

She nodded again. "Good luck," she said to him.

"You too," he replied, nodding back.

She met his eyes silently for another minute, then slowly turned around and walked away. She walked slowly until she knew she was out of his sight. Then, she bolted. She ran as fast as she could, down the streets, through the door of her house, up the stairs, until she was in her old bed, in her old room, with her face buried in her pillows.

She cried. She cried, and cried, until all the pain, anger, frustration, and loneliness in her heart had bled out through her eyes.

Finally, when at long last her tears subsided, she had made up her mind. She knew what she had to do.