A/N: A follower asked me why Bella is suddenly feeling very happy and calm, because in the last chapter I mentioned that her day was beautiful. This is because I want Bella's life to be rollercoaster journey. She has ups and downs. The first 'down' she experienced was that she was ahsamed of herself. The 'up' she had was when she had a beautiful day. Stay tuned to know what happens next.

I thank my beta Beautiful Romance Queen and pre-readers Twifansam and MetHimInHerDreams.

Disclaimer: 'Twilight' is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No profit is made from this work of fiction. It is solely for the purpose of entertainment. The story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to names, incidences, personalities, locations, etc. Is purely coincidental.

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9: GUT-WRENCHING PAIN
Third Person POV

"Isabella! You lazy cow! Where are you? Get down here right now," Victoria screeched. Her voice rang through the walls. It reached Bella's ears and made her blood run cold. The door to her room was locked. Not from the inside but from outside. So Victoria knew that Bella wouldn't be able to come downstairs on her own- not without someone unlocking the door. This was just one of her ways to get Bella into trouble. She liked to beat her and call her names.

Minutes later Bella heard her heels clicking against the wooden floor. She started shaking more and more. A bead of sweat ran down her temple. It mixed with her tears. A sob escaped her mouth before she could hold it in. She clamped her hand on her mouth tightly.

When Victoria reached her room, Bella heard her muttering to herself angrily. Then she heard the click of the lock and her door opened.

Bella stayed quiet and curled up in the corner of her room. A chair sheltered her from Victoria's rage and hatred. But as she heard Victoria inching closer, Victoria knocked the chair out of its way and stood in front of her. Her tall figure towered over Bella. The sun rays from the window illuminated her enraged face, making her look even more sinister and frightening.

"Get up you bitch," she snarled in her high pitched voice. But Bella couldn't find it in her to follow. Her body was paralysed with fear. Her heart was beating loudly and she was panting. She was weak and hungry and dirty. She leaned into the wall, wishing the bricks would just eat her up- that would be better than facing Victoria. Alas, she wasn't so lucky.

Victoria grabbed her bare arm, digging her nails into her skin. Bella screamed, at which Victoria chuckled wickedly. Looking at her arm with tears in her eyes, Bella realized that it was bleeding. She could see four distinct marks where she had dug her nails. She pulled me up harshly by the injured arm and her skin tore more. Bella screamed loudly, trying to remove Victoria's hand from her arm. But Victoria just slapped her.

"You bitch! You are so lazy, aren't you? Dozing off in that royal room of yours!" she said sarcastically. She dug her nails deeper and the scent of the blood made Bella sick and dizzy.

An ear-splitting scream woke Carlisle up. He gently shook Esme and they both rushed to Bella's room. More screams followed as they opened the door to her room, only to find her curled up on the floor beside her bed. Her face was sweaty and her eyes were filled with terror.

Rose, Emmett and Edward had joined the two outside her room with worry on their faces. "Go to sleep. She will be overwhelmed and even more terrified if she sees us all together," Esme whispered to them. They protested a bit, insisting on staying there to offer some help if needed but finally agreed.

Carlisle and Esme turned their attention to a shrieking, terrified Bella. She was clawing at her hair, her hands and legs shaking.

Bella felt someone pry her hands from her hair. She screeched even more when she felt a pair of cool hands on her hot, sweaty forehead. She tried to back away but ended up bumping her back on the wall. Her means of escape were none.

She knew she was in James's house. She knew that her day with the Cullens was nothing but a dream. It seemed far away. And now James had come back. But today, she just couldn't stop herself from shrieking. She couldn't hold her screams in. Usually it was easy for her to bear the pain silently except for a few whimpers, but today she couldn't.

Had she gotten so used to the luxuries in the Cullen's home, in her dream, that she had forgotten what the pain was like?

"Bella," a soft voice called. It sounded like an angel's voice. A saviour. Bella wondered how an angel had come here. Bella wanted to warn the angel to run away. She didn't want them to be subjected to James's torture. But she couldn't find it in herself to talk. Her voice seemed to have vanished. She couldn't find it.

Her screams had died down but she was shaking. She clutched her hair and pushed away the carpet underneath her with her legs.

She felt someone gently stroking her hair. And even with blurry vision, and her mind in a haze, she knew it wasn't James. It couldn't be him. Even when he pretended to show kindness, his gentle strokes seemed forced and scary- like when sometimes, silence scares us more than shouts.

Slowly, she was brought back into the present by the continuous caresses to her hair. Her vision became clearer as she wiped away the thin membrane of tears that threatened to flow. And in front of her, she saw Esme's worried face.

Bella didn't know whether to feel relieved or scared. Esme was just millimetres away from invading Bella's personal space. But on realizing that it was her who was stroking her hair and whispering calm, soothing words, Bella felt a strange sense of comfort envelop her. She revelled in the warmth of Esme's presence.

Esme reminded Bella of her mother.

And that made her even more nervous. Now that she had realized that she was, in fact, with the Cullens, she began to think. Was the wall that she had carefully constructed around her heart, crumbling slowly?

But in the moment, she found it hard to care. Esme's feathery hands seemed to lull her to sleep. But she fought to stay awake. In all this, her subconscious was aware of Carlisle standing behind Esme. And so she stubbornly pushed away the sleep that threatened to overcome her.

"Isabella, are you alright now?" Esme asked her.

Bella ducked her head and nodded, proud that she had not shed one tear. She clutched her T shirt tightly as she tried to stand up. Carlisle rushed to help her, despite her batting away his hands.

Esme placed her arm around Bella's shoulder and led her to rest on the bed. She shared a silent glance with Carlisle. He nodded and left them alone.

"What happened honey?" Esme asked Bella. Bella looked at her once, acknowledging her question before staring ahead of her blankly. "Isabella? Can you please try to tell me what happened, sweetheart?"

"I had a nightmare," Bella whispered, hugging herself. She drew her knees closer to her chest and curled up into a ball, trying to disappear from the rest of the world around her.

"It will all be okay," Esme assured her. But Bella knew that she was lying. It would never be okay. These nightmares would never go, because in reality, they weren't nightmares.

They were her memories.

Bella was interrupted from staring at the wall, by the opening of the door. Carlisle had returned, carrying a tray with a glass of water and some tea for Bella.

"Here Bella, drink it all, you will feel better. Calmer," Carlisle told her, handing her the cup of tea. Bella looked at it suspiciously before taking it with shaking hands. She took gradual sips of the delicious, warm tea until she had downed all of it.

She certainly felt a lot better. The tea had calmed her racing heart.

But the more she thought of her nightmare, the more she realized that the relief she felt was physical and not emotional. In the deep recesses of her heart, she still felt the terror loiter around, troubling her.

Esme rubbed her arm gently as she willed Bella to go to sleep. Bella slowly rested her head against the fluffy pillows and then closed her eyes.

She didn't feel like sleeping just yet, because the memories would resurface. But she rested her eyes and brushed the hair out of her face.

As Esme got to get up and leave Bella, she placed the blanket on the fragile girl's body. "It will be okay, honey. Just hold on. That was just a nightmare. It will go away. The fear will go away. It will be alright," Esme said, turning to leave.

But when she reached the threshold, a soft yet determined voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Esme," Bella said, taking a deep breath. "That wasn't a nightmare. It was a memory. I have lived it. I am not safe even now. Before, the memories were what I lived in the day. But now they are what I live at night. And that is even more frightening, because that is when my body has shut down and I cannot do anything to get rid of them. That is even worse.

Esme, you don't know pain until you are staring at yourself in the mirror, with tears streaming down your face and you are begging yourself to just hold on and be strong.

That is pain."

A/N: How was it? Please review. I thank all of you for the amazing response the story is getting, even though updating is slow. Thank you for bearing with me and lil' ol' tardiness.