"So your father won't mind your being home from school, alone with a vampire?" I asked as I followed Bella through her front door. It was a nice house, cozy and warm. They'd had spaghetti for dinner the night before, I could smell the leftovers. There were photos of Bella, and her father, and a woman I had never seen before. It had to have been the mysterious Renee, though she didn't resemble her daughter too closely. The girl led me up the stairs to her bedroom, closing the door behind her. I cleared my throat. "Alone in your bedroom," I added, more like it was just a simple observation.

Bella took the flower pots from me, setting them down on a desk that was far too small for the amount of art and school supplies she had piled onto it. She shrugged her shoulders as she began to shove her laptop, textbooks, and class-related items off the desk to make room. "Charlie wants me to have friends. And he's pretty accepting, I'm sure a vampire would be small potatoes to him." She winked before turning her attention back to her clutter. I saw her face scrunching up as she worked to clear a spot for me, I assumed. I watched with some amusement, she had never had to share her space before. I was very privileged indeed.

Finally, she settled on placing the pot on the window-seat. Bella appeared to have created that herself, lining the window sill with a throw blanket and a pillow tucked into the corner. It felt sacred, I could picture her reading or drawing there, so I expected her to take that and for me to use her desk. "You can have the window," she told me. Always surprising me. I went to the window without any second thoughts, picking up the pot and gently turning it in my hands while trying to imagine what I would paint on it. I could paint abstract patterns, perhaps use a sponge to create a cloud-like texture-

My thoughts were interrupted by a soft gasp. "What's wrong?" I asked, furrowing my brow and looking at Bella. No cuts or bruises, she hadn't broken anything or hurt herself. What had surprised her?

Bella blinked, her cheeks were red again as she settled into the chair by her desk. "Um...Nothing. Nothing's wrong," she replied, though her eyes were glued to me. Was there something on my face? "Are you wearing makeup?"

Makeup? Why would makeup get her attention that way in the first place? The gears turned quickly, and I glanced down to look at my forearm. The clouds had shifted, rays of sunshine were spilling through the window. My skin was shimmering. I could only imagine what my face looked like to Bella right now; I was grateful that she had already figured out what I was so I didn't have to make anything up. Body glitter was not an excuse I wanted to pull out in this day and age. "I'm not," I replied, bringing my hair forward to hide my face from her more. "Can we draw the curtains?"

"Why?" Bella asked, the idea of shielding me from the sunlight was not one she seemed to be fond of. "You're...You're gorgeous, Edythe. Is this a vampire thing?" She stood up to come closer, sitting on the other corner of the window sill. We were close, too close. I could feel her breath. "C'mon, let me see." I had turned my face away, but obediently looked back to face her head on. She shook her head, completely in awe. "I knew that camping thing had to be bullshit," she breathed.

That did get a laugh from me, but I was so confused. She thought this was beautiful? I was so completely non-human, and she was intrigued. She wanted to see me. I was being myself too much, I was only drawing her in closer to the danger that was my existence. "This is the skin of a killer, Bella," I tried to make her understand, almost pleading with her to not romanticize the supernatural. Should've known it'd be no use.

She shushed me. "I've squashed a few bugs, I'm as much of a killer as you are." She was ridiculous! Bella was tempting me to show her just how much trouble I could cause, how lethal I was. She thought killing a couple of spiders was the same as me killing people.

I shook my head, standing up and taking a few steps back from her. I was angry, I'd admit that. Not with Bella, really, but more at her line of thinking. She couldn't know, but she shouldn't have trusted me this much. I didn't deserve it. "Bella," I sighed, running both hands through my hair and beginning to pace. I never really paced before her, I'd never felt the itch to move and fidget so much. "Did you see anything on the news this weekend? About those...those shitheads in Seattle?" She nodded, her head slightly tilted in confusion. "They're dead. Can you imagine who might've done that?"

Her eyes widened. "Not you. Edythe, did you really-" I nodded, and her mouth closed for a moment before speaking again, her words careful and calculated. "You know, I'd venture to say that they weren't very nice. I heard what they'd done to those girls, you went too easy on them. My dad told me that whoever managed to get rid of them are heroes." She stood up, stepping close and tilting her head to look up at me. She was getting too close to me. "I don't think that makes you any worse of a person. You're good, E. You can't convince me otherwise." She smiled. "I'm too stubborn for that."

Hero. So she had inherited her dumb bravery from her father. I sighed, shaking my head. I knew she wouldn't believe the threat I caused until she saw it herself. I hoped it never got to that point. It was a horrible internal conflict; I didn't want her to fear me, but I wanted her to see that she should. "I wish I could," I replied quietly. I looked down into her eyes. She was still so near to me, her body heat radiating from her, her scent overpowering anything else. I could reach out and wrap an arm around her, or bury my face in her hair. But I didn't. I reluctantly moved past her to sit on the windowsill again, picking up the flower pot and a pencil to begin sketching a design onto the surface.

Bella stood in the same spot, looking at me with confusion and perhaps worry etched onto her face. I'd have to learn how to read expressions better, I always relied too much on thoughts. I had to learn to understand her more. I stuck the pencil behind my ear after drawing a few lines. "What are you thinking?" I asked her. It was so irritating to have to ask.

The brunette finally went to sit back in her chair, but made no move to start working on her project. "I'm thinking about if anyone has shown you just how great you are," she admitted, face red. "Your siblings are all together, right? You don't have someone like that." She frowned at the thought. "Have you been alone for a long time? Not that that's a big deal, being single is absolutely fine. I'm just wondering." She smiled a little. "Feel free to tell me to shut up." She was repeating my own words back to me.

That's what she was thinking about? That made no sense! We were talking about what a monster I may or may not have been, and she wanted to know if I was lonely. I turned my eyes away from her, focusing once more on outlining the pattern I had in mind. "I haven't been alone. Not the way I see it. But no, I haven't ever had a partner. Never felt that sort of attraction for anyone." Before you. Carlisle had had errant thoughts about my relationship status plenty of times; he wanted me to understand the good that partnership could bring me. But even he knew I wouldn't fully grasp the concept until I met the right person to make me feel it for myself. Just my luck, that person was Bella. Beautiful, ridiculous, clumsy, clever, funny, breakable Bella. "Why do you ask?"

Now it was her turn to avoid my eyes, looking at the pot as she sketched out what looked to be a floral pattern. "I'm just wondering. You've been alive for so long, and to not have anyone...I just think about how low you seem to think of yourself." She glanced up at me through long eyelashes. "It makes me sad to think that no one's ever shown you otherwise, or loved you in that way. But then I think that loving yourself is way more important than being with someone." She laughed, shrugging her shoulders. "I dunno how to explain it. I just want you to see how cool you are."

I had to deeply focus on not shattering the ceramic pot. Bella thought I was cool. I was the biggest geek on the planet. If I had been a human in this day and age, I would no doubt be coined a loser, or a loner. It was the vampirism that added mystery and appeal and an element of intimidation to my persona, but me and my family knew what I actually was. Bella really thought I was cool. What the hell. "Thank you," I managed, but there was that tone of uncertainty there. She'd heard it, chuckling.

"You don't have to believe me. If someone said that to me, I wouldn't see it in myself, either." Bella gave me a kind smile. No one had shown her how brilliant she was, either. But somehow this human girl, who was over half my age, had more self-awareness than I did. "Just trust me. If you trust what I say, trust that you are one of the coolest people I've ever met. I thought that even before the vampire thing. That does give you some points, though." I snorted.

The magnetic feeling I had experienced with Bella from the beginning was soothed. We were coexisting, sharing our space, working separately. I finally understood the appeal of Esme knitting in Carlisle's study while he read. It was incredibly peaceful; there was a sense of safety and security that I had never known I was missing. I was finishing my layer of white, though Bella hadn't bothered with a base. She had gone straight in with thin layers of a deep blue, building up the colors in a slower way. All the noise in the room was her breathing, her heartbeat, and my habitual inhale and exhale. "I'm enjoying myself," I said aloud, smiling at how silly it sounded. "Kurt Vonnegut had a quote: 'I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim, or murmur, or think, If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'" I was happy, thoroughly happy.

Bella looked to feel the same way, a wide grin as her eyes remained focused on adding another layer of navy. "I'm happy, too." She finally set her pot to the side, looking at me with those gears working away behind her eyes. "You don't eat. So...I can't ask you to dinner."

My goofy smile turned to a frown. Was she hungry again already? We hadn't left school long ago, and she had had quite a bit. Her stomach wasn't rumbling. "Do you want to eat? I don't mind, Bella-"

"No, E, I'm not hungry," she laughed, shaking her head. "Do you like movies, then? I'm sure you've seen the same story line over and over again."

My head cocked to the side in confusion. She wasn't hungry, but she was going to ask me to dinner. And now a movie? That only sounded like...Well. Dates. The kinds of dates high school students went on. I was stunned; we had just been talking, and then painting, and now she was trying to ask me out. A vampire. A 108-year-old geek. I'd sever my left foot to hear the train of thought that had brought her to such a destination. "I haven't seen a movie in a long time," I admitted. "Not in theaters, at least." Emmett and Alice had forced us into long, terrible movie marathons plenty of times in the past. "I don't dislike them, though. Do you like movies?"

She was still laughing at me. Not in a hateful way, but evidently I was rather amusing. I was embarrassing myself and being too awkward, but this was the first time I'd ever been asked out. Any time a human had tried in the past, I could always steer them away before the words could get out. I couldn't, nor did I particular want to, distract Bella. I just didn't know how to accept such an offer. Maybe our trip to the exhibit wasn't a real date, because this felt much more explicitly not just a friendly outing.

"I don't mind movies. I don't mind anything, really, it's just...Ya know. My shitty way of trying to ask you out. But honestly, don't feel bad if you don't wanna do that, or you're not into me that way. Obviously I'm totally fine with being your friend-"

"No, it's not that," I insisted quickly, before she could really begin to doubt herself. I was "into her" that way. I wanted to go out with her. A startling, frightening fact, but I couldn't deny it. "Believe it or not, Bella, I haven't actually been asked out before. But I think that we are already something past a typical friendship, are we not?"

Bella nodded. She knew it was true, the chemistry was undeniable. She had watched me nearly kill a man right in front of her, then had knowledge that I had finished him off the same evening. She knew what I was, and she thought it was cool. She knew what I was capable of, yet she felt safe with me. She wanted to actually get to know me. She wanted me to see myself the way she saw me, and I wanted the same for her. "Yeah, I guess this is a little different from normal friends," she laughed. She chewed on her bottom lip, redness flushing over her cheeks. "I never know what people go for, do you know what I mean? I felt weird, assuming that you might...swing in my direction." She scoffed, shaking her head. "That's so stupid, isn't it. You probably never have that problem."

I laughed out loud. "You think I never have that problem? Bella, before I met you, I didn't even see it in myself. I didn't see it in my sisters, or my cousins, or anyone. It was never even a thought for me." I leaned my head back against her window pane. "I'm accepting, of course. I just...Never considered it. Didn't consider myself straight, to be fair." It was so liberating, once I had admitted to it. It was still new, an overwhelming new side of myself that needed to be explored, but I was vocalizing it. I was putting it all out there, and I trusted Bella to accept me. "You, though. How long have you known?" I wanted to hear her story; I needed to know how she had come to terms with herself and her sexuality. If she had come to terms with it at all, or if she was just as clueless as I was.

She blinked. "You didn't know until me?" Was that not good? Was that too much? The pinkness on her face somehow deepened, I could feel the heat of her blush from a few feet away. "Uh...I mean, I've known for a while. I've been out since I was thirteen. I'm not a lesbian, I'm definitely bisexual. But I find girls attractive way more often than guys. It wasn't a huge deal for me, and I'm so lucky for that." She put her pot down to come sit beside of me again. "At the time, it felt like a lot. Like I had a big, terrible secret, and that everyone would judge me and hate me for it. I can't imagine discovering it after a century. Has it been weird for you?"

Having her close made this somehow even more intimate. Squished onto a few cushions on her window sill, in the corner of the room. The sunlight was setting nearly half of my face into twinkles and I could see shades of red in her otherwise chocolate hair. I knew all of these details about her, I'd committed them to memory, but having them so close was taking over all of my senses. "It has been weird," I agreed with a smirk. "A lot to think about, but...I'm glad I realized it. My family was shocked. I'm the one who can read minds, but I didn't see how others already perceived me." Bella somehow find a whole new way to surprise me: She reached out and put her warm hand on my knee, I had folded my legs criss-crossed. I swallowed at the feeling, blinking a few times before continuing, "My sister, Alice. She has visions of the future, different visions based on decisions. When I met you, there were some different outcomes. One of the outcomes sent me down a spiral, and I came to my senses after running away to Alaska."

I must have been gushing, spilling too much. "Back up," Bella requested, her fingers clenching along the muscle of my thigh. This wasn't just a caress, it was a hold. She was holding me, in this small way. "Should I start with your psychic sister, or you running away to Alaska?" she asked. I shrugged my shoulders, raising an eyebrow as a cue for her to ask questions on either subject. She just stared at me, lips parted as she considered what to say first. "What outcome did she see that made you run away? Is that what did it?" She loosened her grip on my leg, back to the gentle, barely-there touch.

"Yes, one of her visions sent me into a panic," I admitted with a sigh. It was silly, and I definitely didn't want to tell Bella of my overreaction. I didn't want her to know that one of her futures was so wrapped up in my own. I didn't want to influence her in any way. "Alice saw me and you together. Not in an explicit way, or anything, but...there was a hint of affection there. I suppose that set off a spark, and I was frightened. I don't believe I've ever felt so much all at once. So I ran north, to a family in Alaska that we are close with. I didn't trust myself to be alone." I brought my hair over one shoulder, idly braiding it just so I could have something to toy with. "You'll recall I wasn't in school for a few days after we first met. I was buried face-first in the snow." I chuckled. It really was silly, overdramatic. It only felt that way now that I knew Bella had some feelings for me. Now I had some comfort, I knew I could be myself and she wanted to be a part of my existence. Even if it was in a smaller sense than what Alice predicted. "I've been working on coming to terms with all of it. My sexuality, what it means for you, what Alice sees. And there is still quite a lot of guilt there, but I'm selfish. Greedy." I grimaced, looking out into her yard. I was lucky it was still a time of day where everyone was at work or school; I shouldn't have been glittering so freely, but it was nice to not hide for now. "There is something in me that will not allow me to stay away from you. I'm not strong enough to tell that side no. That being said...If you ever want me to go away, Bella-"

I should have seen it coming, I should have noticed the way Bella's eyes glanced down to my lips, or the way her hand was gripping to give herself leverage as she leaned forward to kiss my still-blabbering lips. My body froze, but my throat was on fire. She was delicious. Not just in a primal, predatory way, either. There was such a sweetness to her, and her lips were burning hot, softer than anything I'd felt before. I was in control, I wasdecidedly not going to bite her head off, but I felt like she was pushing it. My eyebrow furrowed, eyes closing as I allowed myself to kiss back, just for the slightest second, until her lips parted.

"Shit," I murmured from the opposite corner of her room. I had shot off, the tiny part of my brain that had any common sense had taken over and sent me into the dimly-lit spot between her dresser and a lamp. "I'm sorry, can you give me just a moment?" I asked, looking her over where she still remained in the beautiful sunlight.

Bella looked the most gorgeous I had ever seen her. She was breathing heavily, her heart was stuttering. It was mildly concerning, but the tempo was inspiring. Her hand went through her hair, strands going to the wrong side of her part, waves falling out of place from where they had been styled minutes before. "Take all the moments you need," she sighed, putting a hand on her chest. She managed to get her own heart back in order, standing up from the cushions to hesitantly approach me. "I'm sorry, Edythe," she began. "I don't usually attack people, especially people who are just coming out and I lost control, and that wasn't cool. Next time, I'll get all the consent." I was still so stiff, her face turned to a concerned frown. "Are you okay?"

She didn't need to be guilty. I didn't want that for her, I didn't want her to think I hadn't deeply enjoyed her kiss. But she was right, I had only just begun exploring myself in any romantic capacity. How would I tell her that was the first real kiss I could remember? "I'm alright, Bella," I promised. "You are not the only one struggling with control." I chuckled, shaking my head. "That was lovely, but next time..." There would be a next time, "I might need a little more warning."

"So you don't rip my throat out, right?" Bella laughed, but my eyes widened. How could she joke so easily about that? I nodded, and she smiled, holding a hand out in an effort to get me out of my corner. "I'm sorry, I really didn't think about that part of it. I should have. But you're strong, E. I'm not afraid of that." She coaxed her fingers at me, and I finally reached out to take her hand. I stepped out of the corner, out into the middle of her bedroom. "Can we try again?" she asked, squeezing my hand softly.

Next time was now? She was that eager to kiss me again. As terrifying as it was, I also wanted to give it another go. I was more prepared, I could be strong. Don't underestimate yourself. "Take it slow," I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. I had to wonder if this was moving quickly by normal teenage standards, but Bella and I were already very different. I liked to believe our relationship was much deeper. Perhaps I was just pretentious and hopeful, or drunk with teen hormones I thought were long gone, but I didn't need to find excuses. Not when I saw Bella get on her tiptoes to place a hand on my cheek, the other on my shoulder, kissing my marble cheek first. So tender. My arms found their way around her waist, barely lifting her so that she didn't have to work so hard to reach my level.

Her lips were on mine again soon after, and I could feel her pulse in my mouth, under my hands, everywhere. I moved my lips slowly, going with the flow of what she chose to do. She clearly had more experience than me, though I knew better than to ask about that. That was the one reason I was glad I could not hear her thoughts; I didn't want to know. The kissing was intimate, though we weren't exactly slobbering all over the other. It was experimental, innocent, for the most part. Bella's kindness showed, I could feel the way her fingers bunched into the fabric of my shirt, but she remained kind and gentle. Even while her heart was frantically pounding, she didn't go further. I had to be the one to pull back, though, she was running out of air. Her pupils were dilated, she was flushed, she was smiling. If I hadn't been certain of the status of my immortality and my soul, I'd be sure that I had died and gone to heaven.

"Better?" she asked, twirling her finger through my curls and sufficiently unraveling the half-braid I had started. She seemed so at ease touching me. I let her bring her hand to my face, closing my eyes as she stroked my cheekbone, traced my jaw. It was peaceful. It took me back to memories I didn't even know remained; the feeling of Carlisle pushing my sweaty hair back from my forehead in Chicago while I was in a feverish haze.

I leaned my head into her hand, desperate for more of her warmth. "The first wasn't bad," I cooed. "That's...so nice, Bella. Better than I could've imagined." I let her back down to stand flat on her feet and started to lightly rub her back. We needed to work on our flower pots, start painting instead of tiptoeing on this dangerous ground, but all I wanted right now was to hold her. I could easily remain this way with her for days, weeks, if she wasn't human. She'd likely get bored anyway. I pressed my lips to the top of her head before letting her go. "Would you like to see a movie with me tonight, Bella?" I hadn't done this the proper way, not the method of courting I had envisioned, but something had worked to my advantage. Emmett would be pleased.

Bella grinned, and I saw that pretty gap in her teeth again. "You know I would. I'm pretty sure everything out is lame, but it'll be fun. Would you be offended if I said I wanted to hear the thoughts of the horny people making out in the theater?" I laughed with her, shaking my head and leading her back to the window seat.

"No, I won't be offended. It's much more fun to let other people hear, otherwise I start to question where others' thoughts begin and mine end. But you will regret that request, the thoughts are usually disgusting," I informed her as I picked up my brush from the plate. She sat with me after retrieving her own pot and faux-palette, sitting with her legs twisting with my own so we could both stretch out a bit more while still being so close. The line was crossed, we were passed some sort of boundary of just friendship. Nothing was official, but I wasn't anxious to label anything. This was more than enough.

I did eventually have to draw the curtains, but Bella and I remained tangled up in each other while working on our pots. She had layered colors in a way I hadn't even thought of, and I was in awe. I sponged shades of green over my white base while we talked about everything we could think of. Movies I'd seen in my day, clubs Bella had attempted to join in elementary school, even some detail about my family and the powers within it. I would have worried that we'd run out of conversation topics before our date, but talking was effortless. She was as enthralled with all I had to say as I was with her. From what Alice had seen, I knew that wouldn't go away. I was totally at ease, happy. I didn't have a worry in the world in that moment.

Then Charlie's thoughts started to fade in, the police car pulling in beside mine. Alright, perhaps one worry. "Bells?" I heard him call out once he got through the front door. There was no way to deny I was here, my car was out in the lot. I wasn't opposed to meeting Bella's father, but he might not have the best impression of me pulling her out of school after lunch. He didn't need to know about the kissing. On top of all of this, I thought she didn't like that nickname. Perhaps only her father was allowed to use that. Fair enough.

Bella set down her pot, standing up and looking at me. "Stay there. I'll talk to him, you're just my cool new friend from school and we're gonna hang out tonight. You took me to school, but we had to leave early because of female troubles. He won't question that," she said with a smirk, kissing my cheek before leaving me alone in her room.

How many rules of courtship have you broken? A text from Alice. I rolled my eyes, but actually thought about the answer I would give her.

Seven, depending on how you look at it, I typed back.

I'm so proud, Edie. Go break them all for me, won't you?

If my 17-year-old self could hear me now, if my poor mother Elizabeth knew what her daughter would become, they would both be horribly disappointed. But the idea of breaking every rule did set something off within me. The same thrill I could hear when Emmett threw a car across a field. I'd spent all of my life so committed to outdated virtues, standards of how a proper young woman should act.

I was 108. I was old enough to say fuck all of the rules if I wanted.

You already know I will, Alice.

A/N: Is this good? Is this the romance and steam y'all wanted?! (seriously tell me tho cuz i'm officially out of my element) Wanna give a heads up: I'm not POSITIVE that I'll update over the holidays as I'm starting a new job right after Christmas but I will be writing! (also the day i'm posting this, 12/18, is my birthday. do with that info what you will.) Love to all of you! Happy holidays!