Jayne piloted the shuttle towards Serenity. He glanced over at Shy who was collapsed in the copilot's chair, her eyes closed. She was holding her arm at a strange angle and grimacing in discomfort. "You all right Shy-girl?" he asked her. She opened her eyes and met his gaze. "Think my shoulder's messed up again" she answered. Jayne felt a twinge of guilt. "Guess I just about yanked yer arm off back there" he said in apology. To his surprise Shy laughed out loud. "You don't gotta apologize for savin' my life Jayne." Her expression sobered. "You did you know. Save my life. You are an amazin' man Jayne Cobb." Jayne felt his face heat at her words, and hoped fiercely the grit on his face would cover up his blush.

He didn't know why it was so hard for him to accept a compliment. Not that he got them too often, most especially not from Serenity's crew. "You woulda done the same" he answered, his tone gruff. Shy didn't answer, and he lapsed into silence. After a short while, he heard her breathing slow and deepen. She had fallen asleep, and Jayne was content to leave her that way. He made good time back to Serenity and docked the shuttle without incident. Shy dozed through the entire procedure.

He stood over her for a moment watching her sleep. He bent down and lifted her in his arms. She shifted restlessly and woke, her eyes cloudy with sleep. "Jayne?" she mumbled, blinking slowly at him. He wasn't sure what it was that made him do it, but he kissed her, his lips gentle and undemanding. He shifted her in his arms and deepened the kiss, and she tilted her head to get better access to his mouth. He groaned and she twisted his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, holding the back of his head with her good arm. Neither one of them heard the door to the shuttle opening.

"Oh, sorry, was I interrupting?" Simon asked, amused. They sprang apart, wearing matching guilty expressions on their faces. Simon schooled his features into a more serious look, because Jayne was scowling, but inside he was still laughing at the thought of what Mal would say if he knew. His thoughts must have shown, because Jayne 's scowl deepened. "You best keep your gorram mouth shut" he threatened. Simon smiled politely, refusing to be intimidated. "I take it things went well?" he asked, taking in their dust covered appearance. Shy smiled at the doctor. "Went off with a bang" she said, tongue-in-cheek, "but I think my shoulder's out again." Simon hustled her down to the med bay, and with Jayne's help, forced her shoulder back into it's socket.

They were just finishing up when the sound of the cargo bay doors alerted them that the others were back. Simon rushed from the room to see his sister, leaving Shy and Jayne to their own company. Jayne couldn't stop staring at her. Shy blushed under the intensity of his gaze, but didn't break eye contact. "Jayne-" she said, only to be interrupted by Jesse, who came racing into the room, oblivious of the tension between the adults. "Mom, hey Mom aren't you gonna come an' see what they got?" She smiled at the excitement in her son's voice. He hadn't wanted to be left out of the job, jealous that River got to go along, and been in a bad mood when she left. It was good to see him back to his old self. "I'm comin', Jesse" she answered with a smile in her voice. She cast one last look at Jayne over her shoulder before following her son.

Jayne watched as Shy threw her head back and laughed at something Mal said. The entire crew was here, celebrating a job that had gone smooth from start to finish. They'd done the drop earlier and were enjoying a rare night off Serenity, eating something other than protein for a change. Jayne tried not to stare, but Shy was so gorram pretty, wearing her hair down, her eyes flashing with amusement. He couldn't figure out just what it was about her that attracted him so much. Objectively speaking, she wasn't as beautiful as Inara and or as stunning as Zoe. She wasn't as graceful as River and she sure as hell wasn't as sweet as Kaylee, not with that bad temper of hers. But something about her drew him like a fly to honey. And she was wearing those gorram tight pants again. There was no two ways about it, those pants had his mind on one thing, and one thing only. He swallowed hard, remembering the kiss they'd shared in the shuttle. If the doc hadn't walked in on them there was no telling where that might have led. He gave himself a mental shake. No way was he walking down that path. Never mind that she was angry at him more often than not, Mal would space him if he even suspected that Jayne was having thoughts like that about his sister.

He took a long swallow of beer from the bottle he held clutched in his right hand. Shy glanced his way and caught his eye, giving him a tentative smile, gesturing with her head that he should come over. He lifted his beer in acknowledgement, but ignored the obvious invitation. He couldn't go and sit that close to her and hide the way he was feeling tonight. Jayne finished his beer and turned towards the barkeep to order another, resigned to spending the evening alone.

He was sitting at the bar brooding when he felt a hand on his arm. For a instant he was hopeful it might be Shy, but when he looked up he saw it was one of the working girls. She offered him a sultry look, running her hand up over his shoulder and down his chest. He frowned at her and she hesitated. Just then he heard another burst of laughter from Shy. He clenched his teeth. The whore started to step back at the look on his face but he grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "No," he heard himself say, "don't go sugar." He allowed himself be pulled off of his stool and up the stairs to the rooms above the bar, walking right past Serenity's crew on the way up. He felt a sudden flash of shame. He covered it up with swagger. "Boat's leavin' in eight hours Jayne, you're not on it, we'll leave you behind," Mal called out after his mercenary. "Eight hours" he groused, "dammit Mal, I don't like ta rush." He shot the whore a a lewd grin, and she let out a practiced giggle. He caught Shy's gaze for a moment and quickly looked away, but not before he noticed her wounded expression.

Shy watched Jayne follow the whore upstairs and tried to hide her hurt. Not that she was surprised, not really, but he'd kissed her earlier, and she'd thought… Well, she didn't know what she'd thought. She'd been mean as a snake to him ever since coming on board Serenity, and made it abundantly clear she wanted nothing to do with him. She could hardly blame him for ignoring her when that's what she'd wanted from the very beginning. Or at least she'd thought that's what she wanted.

"Mom? I'm goin' with Riv to play pool." Shy looked up as she felt Jesse tug her sleeve. He gave her an uncertain look and she realized she was frowning. "Go ahead Jess" she answered, smiling for her son, but her thoughts were still on Jayne. She tried to enjoy the conversation flowing around her, but she just wasn't in the mood anymore. "I'm headin' back to Serenity," she told her brother, "is Jesse o.k. here with you?" Mal nodded and wished her goodnight. She stopped by the pool tables to let Jesse know she was going and slowly made her way back home.

Jayne lay on the bed, eyes burning with fatigue, but unable to sleep. The whore didn't seem to suffer from the same problem, snoring softly despite the glow of lamplight in the room. He gave up on the idea of sleep and swung his long legs over the side of the bed. Quietly so as not to wake the woman, he pulled on his clothes. He'd thought that sex would help take his mind off Shy. Instead it had left him feeling empty and somehow dissatisfied. And still, all he could ruttin' think about was Shy; the taste of her lips, the feel of her in his arms, her gorram tight pants. He let himself out and walked softly down the stairs. The bar was quieter now. He spied Kaylee and Simon in a corner booth, so intent on each other that they didn't notice him. There was no sign of the others, and Jayne heaved a sigh of relief. He left and headed straight for Serenity, hoping familiar surroundings would help him shake off his strange mood. When he got there, he couldn't face going down into his lonely bunk. He settled on his weight bench. Lifting weights always helped him quiet his mind. Failing that, maybe he could physically exhaust himself to the point where he could fall asleep.

Shy tossed and turned in her bed, unable to get the image of Jayne and the whore out of her head. It was no good berating herself, she couldn't logic herself out of her feelings for the man. She knew full well her attraction to Jayne was a bad idea, that didn't mean she could just turn it off. She eventually gave up trying to sleep, and got dressed, deciding walk in the fresh air might help. It was late, but who knew how long it would be before they were planet-side again? She might as well take advantage while she could. Out of habit, she looked in on Jesse before going. He was sound asleep, his arms akimbo, one foot sticking out the bottom of his bed sheets. She tugged the blanket to cover it up. She leaned in the doorway, watching him sleep for a spell. He was growing up so fast. She sighed, realizing he wouldn't be a child for terribly much longer. Shaking her head at her maudlin thoughts, she turned and left as silently as she'd come in.

The sound of clanking metal greeted her as she entered the cargo bay. It was was Jayne, lifting his gorram weights, in the middle of the night no less. Shy couldn't believe it. She could smell the musk of his sweat, along with the whore's perfume and a faint trace of sex. As if it hadn't been bad enough watching him take up with that woman in the first place, now she had to breathe in the stench of what the two of them had done. "Yin chong" Shy muttered angrily as she walked past him, a disgusted look on her face.

Jayne sat up on the edge of the weight bench and growled in frustration. He could feel his muscles knot in anger. With Shy, it was always one step forward, two massive gorram steps back. "Ni men wei shen muh yu wo zhung nao?" he shouted after her, not caring if he woke up the entire ship.

Shy turned on her heel, her mouth set in a bitter line. "Jeez, I dunno, maybe it's because you shot me" she spat out. Jayne narrowed his eyes consideringly at her. "No, that ain't it" he concluded, suddenly certain. Shy flushed and looked away. A look of grim satisfaction flashed across Jayne's face. "So what is it Shy? Tell me, 'cause this" he waved his hand in the air between them "ain't workin' no more." Shy's feelings were so jumbled, she couldn't put voice to them even if she wanted to, so she glared contemptuously at him, her jaw locked tight. Shy turned away from him, and walked towards the stairs, giving up on the idea of a walk. Jayne grit his teeth and tried to swallow his anger, but lost the battle. He stood up and moved to follow. "Don't you gorram walk away from me Shy!" he ordered grimly. She whirled on her heel and glared icy daggers at him "Why not Cobb? You walked away from me!" she yelled.

Jayne heaved a sigh of irritation. Was that what this was all about? He ran his hands through his hair in frustration, leaving it standing on end. "Yer right. I did. I ain't a good man. I said it before, an' I'll say it again, but this is the last gorram time 'cause I'm sick of this go-se, an' I ain't gonna let you treat me like dirt under yer foot no more. So listen, an' listen good. I'm sorry. Sorry!" His angry voice reverberated off the cargo bay walls. Shy gave him a stricken look. She slumped down on the bottom step leading up from the cargo bay. The cold from the metal seeped through her clothing. She suppressed a small shiver, and hugged her knees into her chest. Jayne was abruptly aware of how small and vulnerable looking she was. Her bad temper did a pretty good job of covering that up most of the time, but right now she looked like a lost waif. He gritted his teeth and resisted the urge to feel sorry for her.

"What the hell got you so mad at me Shy? An' for once, tell the gorram truth, not some go-se about me shootin' you," Jayne growled. The edges of Shy's mouth turned down, her face a mask of bitter unhappiness. "You don't want to know the truth," she accused. "Well now, I just said I did," the merc answered, making no effort to hide his annoyance. Arguing with her might not get him anywhere, but it sure as hell was satisfying to let his anger out.

Shy looked at him long and hard. Somewhere in the back of her mind she'd known this moment was coming, ever since she'd woken up in Serenity's infirmary. Her jaw jutted out defiantly as she faced down Jayne. "You wanna know the truth you ruttin' bastard? Fine. I was pregnant. I needed the money for a gorram abortion!"

The sudden silence following her confession only served to emphasize how much noise they'd been making. Jayne gaped at her. "Pregnant?" he croaked out, "you mean… Jesse?" Shy gave him a disgusted look. "Ni zhe guh yu chun duh bai chi Jayne, of course I mean Jesse." Jayne felt his face flush. His mouth gaped, but no sound came out. A kid. He had a son. He was a father. His mind spun, screaming at him in denial, unable to latch onto a solid thought. "You were gonna get rid of him?" he asked after a long moment, saying the first coherent thing that came to mind. Jayne watched in horror as Shy's eyes filled with tears. "Don't you dare stand judgement Jayne Cobb," she yelled. She was on her feet now, her hands bunched into fists at her sides. Jayne took an involuntary step backwards. "I… It's just… I mean… you wouldn'ta…" he trailed off weakly. "I woulda done it Jayne," she answered, her voice full of self-recrimination, "but you took the money back, don't you remember?"

At the time, he'd been so angry that she'd stole from him, he'd felt justified in his actions. Knowing why she'd taken the money sure coloured things differently. Jayne felt a sudden wave of nausea, his gorge rising in his throat. "Oh Jesus" he choked out, "I got a kid." He wheeled away and retched, throwing up his dinner and the beer he'd drunk all over the cargo deck floor. He stood there hunched over, while spasms wracked his body. A large hand gripped his shoulder and pulled him upright, spinning him around. He found himself facing the captain, and wondered where the hell he had come from.

"You gorram gao ju duh! Sha tien dao duh" Mal ground out, his face suffused with rage. Jayne was still numb with shock from Shy's news, and did nothing to defend himself when Mal pitsol-whipped him on the side of the head. He heard Shy screaming, but it sounded like it was coming form a thousand miles away. He reeled away from Mal, dropping heavily to his hands and knees, fighting not to lose consciousness. Blood ran freely down the side of his head, dripping onto the floor by his hands. A sudden blinding pain wracked his body and he fell to the ground as Mal kicked him in the side, the sickening crunch of bone telling him at least one of his ribs was broken. He lifted his arms to defend his head, but a third blow never came. He looked up through bleary eyes to see what was holding up the show. Shy had jumped on Mal's back and was trying without much success to pin his arms.

Jayne closed his eyes again because the room wouldn't stop spinning. Noisy shouts echoed throughout the cargo hold, it sounded like the entire crew was there. He forced himself to roll over, ignoring the pain in his head and ribs, and slowly pushed himself back onto his hands and knees. He knelt there, head hanging low, trying to find the strength to pull himself back onto his feet. Cold hands touched him, urging him to lie down.

Simon was crouched next to him, a grim look on his face. Jayne shook him off, and pushed himself the rest of the way up, swaying on his feet and hunched to one side, the pain in his ribs making it impossible to stand up straight. "You could have killed him hitting him with that," the doctor accused the captain, who had managed to get Shy off his back. "That's the general idea" Mal spat back at him, levelling his gun at Jayne's head. Shy immediately stepped between the two men, trying to block the shot.

"Mom?" Jayne heard Jesse ask in a quavery voice "Uncle Mal? What's wrong?"

"I'm killin' your bu yao lien father!" Mal snarled out. Jayne painfully turned to face his son. His son. He still couldn't believe it. Now that he knew, he didn't know how he'd missed it. Jesse had the exact same shape ears, the same jaw line. Jayne drank in the sight of him, looking at Jesse as though for the first time, searching of himself in the boy. He felt a stab of pain in his chest that had nothing to do with the beating Mal had just given him. Shy was crying, silently, big tears running down her face. Jayne could feel a mess of snot and tears mixed together with the blood on his face, and realized he was crying too. "Jesse, hon it's o.k…" Shy took a half-step towards her son, reaching out. He shrank away from her, wrapping his arms around his narrow rib-cage. "You lied to me. You're a liar!" he yelled at her, and spun on his heel. He hit the blast door button, squeezing through the opening door and ran out into the night.

Everyone froze for a minute before chaos erupted. Shy abandoned Jayne to run after her son, racing blindly out into the night, calling his name. Mal lowered his pistol, a shocked look on his face. Jayne turned to go after Shy, stumbling painfully towards the door. Simon tried to stop him. "Jayne, you need to come to the med bay, I need to see to those wounds." Jayne looked at him uncomprehendingly. "That's my son" he answered, as he continued towards the door, pausing to grab a light to bring with him. Shy had nothing, and he didn't see how she would ever find the boy in the dark. He felt a hand on his arm, and braced himself for a fight, but it was only River. "Stay with me," she ordered quietly, "it won't help Jesse if you collapse and die." He nodded his thanks, knowing River would have the best chance of finding the boy, and followed her out the door.

Chinese Translations

Yin chong: literally "lewd worms" derogatory term for men who frequent brothels

Ni men wei shen muh yu wo zhung nao?: Why are you so angry with me?

Ni zhe guh yu chun duh bai chi : you stupid idiot

Gaoju duh: motherfucker

Sha tien dao duh: literally "[one who needs to be] killed with the cuts of a thousand knifes" – bastard; son-of-a-bitch

bu yao lien: shameless, lit. "doesn't want face," i.e., "discards his face, does not seek to maintain a good status in society" much more of an insult in chinese than in English because of the value Chinese culture puts on saving face