Chapter 10

"Ready?" Garen asked her, a smile in his eyes and his hand still warm in hers.

"Together?" Serana asked, slightly afraid of his answer.

"Together." He nodded and gave her a smile that warmed her dead heart.

With her hand still in his warm grip, they started descending the stairs to the portal. After only the second stair, a welcoming feel tickled her, beginning at her feet. Garen on the other hand, squeezed her hand him pain, but he forced them on.

After several more steps, his grip was death itself on her hand. She looked up to his face and was shocked at what she saw. Serana, using every ounce of strength she had, pulled herself and Garen back up to the balcony.

Once they were back at the top of the stairs Garen's grip on her hand relaxed. Garen looked down to her and met her gaze with his own.

"What's wrong?" Garen asked as if nothing had happened.

"What's wrong?! You've aged ten years in minutes! That's what's wrong!" Serana spoke, horror in her voice and eyes.

He had indeed aged quite a bit. His face was more weathered, but only enough to deepen the lines of his face. His normally thick, dark hair had massive streaks of silver in it and his short beard was completely silver.

"Serana." Garen spoke softly. His eyes holding hers in the captivating way that made her earn for him, body and soul. "What happened."

"It… It must be the Soul Cairn. I think it was draining the life from you." Serana spoke softly, cursing herself for not thinking of it before.

"I'm so sorry. I should have known." She stammered out, tears welling in her eyes. She had nearly been the death of him and it scared her.

"Serana." Garen spoke her name again. His voice seemed to cover her in a warm blanket that she never wanted to leave.

"You did nothing wrong. No one is perfect." Garen's calm, soothing voice sobered her a bit.

"There must be some way for us to go in." He spoke evenly, forcing her mind back to the task at hand.

"There is. You either need to not be alive, or we could pay the Cairn's toll." Serana's voice hardened, she couldn't fail him.

"What do you mean 'not alive'?" He asked a perplexed look on his face.

"Vampires are not counted among the living. So you could either become a vampire or die to not be alive anymore." She spoke softly, looking away from him.

"And the toll?" He asked, bringing her face up to look at him again.

"I could trap part of your soul in a soul gem. You'd be weaker inside the Cairn, but then you wouldn't need to become like me." She spoke withholding the word monster.

"If you want, I could turn you, but it would mean giving up your boon from Hircine." Serana spoke softly.

"What would turning me entail?" Garen asked her. A warm light came to his eyes, a warmth that tried to sooth her worries and almost worked.

"I would need to bite you and then mix some of my blood with yours. It can be a very…. intimate thing…. for us." Serana spoke and looked away from him.

Part of her wanted him to let her turn him. It would mean the chance at an eternal life with him. Part of her however, wanted him to refuse. To turn him, would mean that it would change him. For all she knew, it could change him to what he was before Mara had saved him.

Garen breathed a heavy sigh. "You chose."

Serana's gaze snapped back up to him. "Wh… What?" She stammered not believing her ears.

Garen cupped her face in both hands and wiped away tears she didn't know she'd been shedding. He gave her a smile and she swore her heart fluttered in her chest.

"Serana, I only trust one other person more than I trust you. I won't make you do something that you don't want to do. In this case, I will let you chose which you would rather do."

Garen's faith in her was awe-inspiring. No one in her life had ever told her anything close to what he had just said. For someone to put their very life in her hands, she was humbled by him.

"So you wouldn't mind taking Lord Bal's gift?" Serana asked still unsure that this was the waking world.

Garen smiled at her and shook his head. "Not at all. Not when it comes from you."

"But you said…" She began to protest. Garen placed his thumb over her lips, silencing her.

"Yes, getting it from someone like your father would make it a curse. From someone like you, it is a gift, a boon." Serana only nodded in response.

"Are you ready?" She asked. Garen's only response was a smile and to tilt his head to the side, fully exposing his neck.

Serana hoisted herself up by his shoulders and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her in place. She placed a light kiss to his neck and he shivered. His arms around her tightened. With a tear still just behind her eye, she sank her fangs into his neck. His neck muscles tensed but relaxed just as quickly.

Garen's blood began flooding into her mouth and the taste surprised her. While most men, Nords mostly, tasted like watered down mead, Garen's was nothing even close. It felt as if an oddly sweet fire had flowed into her mouth. It was unlike anything she had tasted before and she had to stop herself from drinking it down like it was water.

She faintly heard herself moan at the taste on her tongue and Garen chuckled under her.

"That good?" He chuckled out and she could only moan again in affirmative.

Serana forced herself out of her daze and bit her own tongue, causing her blood to begin mixing with his. After a few moments of letting their blood mix, she forced the combination into his body. Once the last of the mixture left her mouth, she pulled her fangs out of his neck, the wounds healed by themselves behind them.

Garen set her back down, but she kept her arms around him. Without warning, a wave of dizziness washed over her and the corners of her vision darkened.

She was dimly aware of Garen sitting her down on the floor in his lap. She could hear his words, but they sounded like they were coming down a long tunnel.

A voice spoke in her mind and her vision went completely black.

You must see what he will not tell you. For both his sake and yours you must endure what he has. The voice spoke. It was soft and kind, almost motherly.

Serana's vision cleared and she became aware of her body again. She felt shorter, strange and awkward.

"GAREN! RUN!" A woman's voice yelled out to her.

Serana looked up to see a rather beautiful Nord woman with a dagger in her hand. Her face looked over her shoulder at Serana, her eyes pleading with her to do as the woman told her. Over the woman's shoulder Serana could see three well armed men with blood and lust in their eyes. Each held nasty looking weapons and were grinning ear to ear with malice.

Serana turned around fear in her every being. She ran as hard and fast as she could, not looking back. After a minute of solid running through the narrow alleys and streets of the city she was in, Serana heard a woman scream in pain.

Tears ran down her face and she ran faster.

Her vision blacked out again.

Serana's vision returned and she gazed upon a plain of death. All around her bodies were strewn about. A few feet away, she could see two figures, one standing and the other kneeling on the ground. Both looked to be warriors, but they had different uniforms and colors on their armor.

Serana took a few steps closer to the two figures and recognized one of them. There stood a younger Garen. By the looks of him, he was in his late teens. Serana recognized the armor from the slain Imperial troops she and Garen had come across looking for Dexion. His armor was drenched in blood as was his sword. In place of a longsword like he used now, Garen wielded a massive greatsword and it rested on one of his shoulders.

The other figure was a woman and she appeared to be crying over the remains of another soldier. The woman was wearing light armor as opposed to Garen's heavy armor, a sword and shield lay on the ground next to her.

Serana got a closer look at Garen's face and the look upon it sent horror down her spine. His face, while usually mirthful with pain buried far below it, was twisted into evil joy and malice. In his eyes, in place of the warm light she knew, was a dark burning rage and lust for blood.

Serana watched in horror as Garen gripped his sword in both hands and lifted it above his head. The woman looked at him, a pleading look in her eyes. Garen merely grinned down at her with the same lust for blood that was in his eyes.

In a flash, Garen swung his sword and the woman's head rolled off her shoulders. Garen planted his sword in the woman's headless body and let out a yell of triumph that made Serana fall to her knees.

Garen began walking away from the carnage of the plain and whistling a nameless tune. The simple act of him walking away as if he had just had the time of his life made her stomach weak.

Serana's vision darkened once more.

"Garen Dragonsbane!" A man shouted in front of Serana when her vision cleared again.

Serana snarled at the man, who only narrow his eyes at her.

"You are to be executed for the slaughter of your entire platoon and for being a vampire." The man spoke and Serana only laughed.

"They sacrificed themselves so that I may prosper. They died at the hands of a god." Serana spoke, but it was Garen's voice that spoke and not hers.

The words that left her mouth made a shudder run down her spine. She felt joy and mirth at the thought of slaying this man and feasting on his blood as well. The feeling was wrong and part of her cried out against it. She squashed down the feelings of revulsion. She was strong and these mortals were weak. It would be an honor for them to die at her hands.

The man in front of her looked to someone behind her and nodded. A burning pain washed over her head and she lost consciousness.

"I think it's gone." A man in Stormcloak armor sighed in relief.

The man looked to Serana and smiled in relief.

"It was good to met you kinsman. I am going to the town down the road. If you want I wouldn't mind the company there."

Serana smiled to the man and nodded. The man began walking away from her. In a burst of inhuman speed, she rushed up behind the man, wrench his head to the side, and sank her fangs into the man's neck. She grimaced at the taste of the man's blood. It tasted like sour milk.

Once the corpse was drained of blood, Serana let the corpse fall to the ground.

"It was my pleasure." She smiled evilly down at the corpse.

Serana began casually walking down the dirt road she was on and closed her eyes, basking in the moonlight above her.

Serana smirked down at the bloody corpse at her feet. Her mark had been an easy kill, not even worth her time. The woman was one of her first contracts in the Brotherhood which was the only reason she had come out of her way to kill this waste of a body.

Serana wiped the blood off of her daggers before sheathing them. She would go find Babette and make this trip worth it at the local tavern.

Serana walked out to the small house she was in, ignoring the cries of anguish coming from the woman's children.

Serana felt he life fading away from her. She looked around in a daze before her eyes settled on a motherly woman frowning down at her.

Understand what I have shown you child. The motherly voice she had heard earlier spoke.

Do not take this as something to fear him for. Take this to know what it is he is forced to live with everyday of his life. The woman spoke in her head.

Know that with his past comes great sorrow. Speak with him before you go any further in your journey.

For the final time, Serana's vision darkened.

Serana felt her eyes slowly flutter open. She was not in some different place or one that she had never seen before. She was in her mother's laboratory.

As she became more aware of her surroundings, she felt herself sitting on something, a comfortable warmth originating from one side encircled her. She snuggled closer to the warmth and felt strong, secure arms tighten around her.

Serana turned her head and looked up into the face of the Garen she knew. His face was lined with worry, but he offered a smile to her.

"Finally decide to get up from your nap lass?" His warm voice asked. For the first time, Serana felt the underlying meaning to that word.

Lass, the name he had so often called her. She somehow, deep down, knew that it was akin to those that called their wives or husbands love. She felt her heart warm at this knowledge.

Serana smiled, but looked down at the arms that encircled her, the hands that held her close to him. She knew that they had done, what crimes they had committed. Even with this knowledge, she still felt as if this was the safest place in all of creation.

Serana looked back up to Garen. Her eyes met his and she felt a pang of loss that his eyes were no longer that shade of sky blue she had come to love, but now a soft glowing orange. His skin was paler and the heat radiating off him was not as intense as it had been.

"Garen." She spoke softly, finding her voice. "We need to talk."

"About what lass?" He asked, his eyes hardening.

Serana sighed. "About you. And your past."

Serana gave him a pleading look. Garen's shoulders slumped in defeat and he looked away from her.

"What do you know?" He asked in a voice that she could barely hear.

Serana told him all that she saw, even the part of the woman sitting over her. Garen took it all in, not looking at her the entire time she spoke. When she finished, she rested her head against his shoulder.

"You don't need to bear this alone Garen." She spoke softly to him and turned his head to face her.

"It's my burden to bare Serana. I won't ask you to try and hold the weight on my soul with me." Garen spoke, sorrow and sadness in his eyes.

"I don't want you to bare it alone. I want to hold that weight with you." Serana spoke softly and leaned in closer to him.

"Trust me Serana you don't want to do this." Garen spoke but his eyes showed that he wanted nothing more than for someone to help hold up the crushing weight.

"I know what I want Garen. I want this. I want you." She spoke softly before pressing her lips to his.

Her kiss was full of passion that she had long been holding in. It spoke of the want, no the need, that she had for this man. Serana felt fear well in the pit of her stomach, maybe everything he had said was true and he really didn't want anyone.

Serana began to pull away from him, only to be pulled back and her kiss returned with equal passion. She sat there in the blissful heaven that was Garen's embrace while her fears melted away like snow at the first light of summer.

When they finally parted, Serana looked up into Garen's warm eyes. She smiled up at him.

"You know what this means right?" She asked, a sly smirk on her face.

"Enlighten me." He spoke resting his forehead against hers.

"You're never going to be rid of me." She spoke and Garen grinned at her.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Garen chuckled before their lips met once more.

When they pulled apart once more, Serana looked at the stairs behind them and sighed.

"I would like nothing more than to spend a while longer like this." She spoke softly. "But we do need to find my mother."

"Alright then lass. We'd best get going." Garen sighed and they stood up.

The two of them walked down the stairs and into the portal without a problem. Once on the other side, Garen let out a low whistle.

"Wow this is bigger than I expected." He spoke and looked around the barren landscape around them.

Off in the distance, the dark silhouette of a castle could be seen. All around them were small crumbling buildings and the ground was ash and dust. Around them, the spirits of the dead wandered around, seemingly ignoring them and each other.

Garen pointed to the castle in the distance. "Your mother is there."

"How do you know?" Serana asked raising an eyebrow at him.

"I don't know how, I just do." He shrugged and began walking towards the silhouette.

Serana followed him. She took his hand in hers and he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.