Welcome, everyone, to the epic logue of Mellol! Who needs a epilogue, I've got an epic logue! I wrote this just today for a Christmas chap. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanzaa!

Epic-louge part1: Matt goes green

Now that Matt's secret was out, life settled into the comforting tide it had turned before the whole mess began. The only difference was they now slept in separate beds. They were not like other couples; they had nowhere else to go before the wedding do they stayed together in their cramped little apartment.

It was Matt's idea to go with separate beds, "It'll be almost like we haven't been living together," he said, mean while his sex deprived now fiancé was struggling not to strangle him as he shifted the pull out couch into the lumpy bed it provided.

Within the first week of this though, Mello was glad to have a bit of birth from Matt. They were having the wedding in two weeks and this would only make the honey moon that much better. In fact he was feeling so good he bought Matt some new sheets for the fold out couch. Matt chose bright green Legend of Zelda sheets, with huge portraits of Link the elf lunging and thrusting his sword every which way. "He looks kind of like you," said Matt.

It wasn't the idea of Matt figuratively sleeping with another man that bothered Mello; it was that pillowcase. One large picture of the hero folded over to make the case, and Matt insisted on sleeping on the side of the pillow that brandished Link's crotch. Mello knew it was pathetic to feel such hater toward a piece of cloth, but catching a glimpse of Matt smiling contentedly in his sleep with face pressed to the elf's pelvis, the greenest of envies would bubble in his chest.

This was when he noticed Matt was starting to look…strange. He rose from the pull out couch one morning, his skin looking oddly sallow.

"You feeling alright?" Mello asked him.

"Fine," said Matt, looking perplexed. He certainly felt fine. In fact, he felt on top of the world. But Mello's concerned had worried him. He spent half an hour staring at himself in the cracked mirror in the bathroom, then concluded he over slept and that was what had Mello worried.

For the next couple of days, Mello continued to glance at him with a look that just passed the boundaries of curiosity to dawn on sheer horror. On the forth day, it was obvious what the problem was.

Matt was turning green.

Matt blurted this out to Mello before burying himself in his sheets with despair. They couldn't have the wedding if he was green, it would clash horribly with his new suit.

"You know, people turn orange from eating too many carrots," said Mello.

"But I'm not turning orange," protested Matt, "I'm turning green!"

Mello digested this, stood for a minute, then turned and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Well that's just it!" Mello called out, "Maybe you're eating too much green stuff,"

"I've hardly touched a vegetable since we started living together," Matt pointed out.

Mello returned from the kitchen with a plate in his hand, loaded with beets, an apple, and some cut-up red pepper.

Matt was thunderstruck, "You want to turn me red, too?!"

Mello shook his head, "Red and green are complementary colors. I'm trying to balance you,"

"But what if I turn red and stay green?" Matt wailed, "I'll looked like a candy cane!"

Mello stared at him, then he just shook his head and carried the plate back into the kitchen.

The panic from the thought of being striped red and green left Matt sweating. He wiped his forehead onto the sleeve of his pajamas and was shocked to see a smear of bright green across it. Now it seemed that, what ever he had, it was living inside him and it was trying to get out. Maybe in was some sort of underwater mold that was turning him green from the inside out. Maybe from the tap water he drank last week, Mello had always warned him to only drink the bottled water that they bought.

Or maybe, by some sick joke of Kira, he had small colony of something festering inside him. When Mello came back from the kitchen, Matt showed him his green sweat and said resignedly, "I think I have an alien,"

Mello gave him a puzzled look, "I'm taking you to the doctor's."

The doctor took one look at Matt and ushered him hurriedly into his office. He listened to Matt's heart, looked in his ears, took his temperature.

"Do think I have an alien?" asked Matt.

"I don't know what you have," the doctor said, "I think I better take a blood sample,"

The instant he drew the blood, both Mello and Matt asked earnestly, "What color is it?"

The doctor didn't answer, just held the sample up the buzzing florescent strip lights on the ceiling and said, "Now, if you were blue, that'd be different. It could be many things, hypothermia, cyanosis, argyria, Mongolian blue spots…" He lifted a file and began to flip through it, "Now, if you were yellow, it could be xanthosis, liver cancer, extreme nicotine stains, jaundice…" He looked up, "Oh, I'm sorry. Forgot you were here."

They slowly walk home together, and once they were at the mouth of their street Matt said, "Well, at least I know what I don't have, "

Mello raised an eyebrow, "That's not entirely true,"

"But I'm not blue, and I not yellow. So I can't have any of those things."

"You could have everything," said Mello.

"…"

You put together blue and yellow, what do you get?

They wait for two anxious days, they waited for the test results. The flummoxed doctor claimed they tests were normal, but clearly Matt wasn't. After Mello resignedly hung up the phone Matt was curled up in his sorry excuse for a bed whimpering miserable as Mello cuddled up with him and stroked his hair, even as it began to sport a slight greenish tinge.

Mello got up an hour later, sweat from the flannel of the sheets and Matt's body heat, only to notice a large green smear on his arm. Mello was exasperated as he stared at the green splotch, then in a wonderful, horrible moment of realization, he swiped his fingers across Matt's bright green sheets. When he lifted them up to inspect them closer, he saw that they, too, were green.

Mello rolled Matt onto his side, "Did you wash these sheets before you used them, Matt?"

"No," Matt sniffled miserably, "Why?"

Mello smiled a little, "Have you checked the dye content of these sheets?"

"No, but what would happen?"

"Well, the color leeches out in the wash, right?"

Matt opened his mouth, then closed it again and his eyes expanded in realization.

"I think you'll be okay, Matt," Mello chortled to him.

And so, to ensure Matt would be a human color for the wedding next week, he slept in their bed with it's black silk sheet and spent hours soaking in the tub every day. He also made Mello swear up and down that they would never, ever, buy sheet in any other color besides black or white again.