The Most Ungrateful Little Wretch in the Universe
Zarbon had had it up to here with Vegeta…for being his half-sister's secret lover! Yes, Zarbon's younger half- sister, the one that came to Planet Frieza to bring her older half-brother back to his estranged father, who had not seen in a couple of decades.
The exact same half-sister that was engaged to Vegeta on planet Primal, Zarbon's home planet, and then decided to marry Shasha Michliv that evil Cyrillic Primal Changeling from Planet Cyrillic who had a deep Russian accent and a temperament that matched a savage on Sunday morning!
Oh how he would beat her up, after all they only got together because they were horny and she wanted to get away from her father! That same half-younger sister that had coco-colored skin like many primal changeling women with black hair….such as her own mother and Zarbon's own mother. That thick British-sounding accent, those yellow- colored eyes that she inherited from her father, and oh...those boobs! What knockers on her! Now there's where I will get back to the point!
Anyways, despite the fact that she managed to bore Shasha three children, she got lonely and hated her husband so much, even though they were not supposed to be married, it was illegal for other species to marry on Planet Frieza! They could have cared less if they were breaking the law, and she could have cared less if he beat her up for having sex with Vegeta on the side.
A part of Vegeta missed having her as a lover and when he tried to go back to her, she would have to draw the line and tell him if she was busy with the kids or if Shasha was to return home. She had been blowing him off lately and had had enough.
Vegeta sat at lunch with Nappa and Raddiz, those two Sayains that managed to survive the Sayain Pesticide, since genocide usually referred to a tribe within a race of humans, or aliens. It has to be done by other humans or by aliens of that same tribe, but different ethnicities. Like for incense the Armenians and Jews being targeted for extermination! Forced assimilation….ok you get the point!
Pesticide refers to trying to annihilate an entire different species like the Sayains or the Steller's Sea Cow! Like what happened to the Dinosaurs which was more likely to be circumstantial than man-made! The Dodos which was more man-made and other species made than anything! Plenty of other species that I refuse to mention because I have no patience!
"I hear that Miretta is offing you lesser and lesser! What is the deal?" Nappa asked.
"I don't know, do you think I'm ugly?" Vegeta asked.
Raddiz then chimed in, "Of course not, if you were I would tell you in a nice way like, "You need a make-over", or "You need to do something with your hair! Then there is…"
"Ok, ok, I get the point! I believe you! Something in my gut tells me to pick on someone, who will it be?" Vegeta said looking around the cafeteria!
Vegeta needed a scapegoat and quick, let's see Dodoria? No, Dodoria really had nothing to do with Miretta at all! Liya, no way she was too busy with teaching ballet and going out to battle. What about Cui, no wait, he was almost impossible to talk to without him mocking him and coming up with these stupid conspiracy theories that were as bizarre as those JFK theories!
What about Shasha? Way too easy of a target and too brutal to be around pretty much, what about Appule? No wait, Appule did not really have any intention of harming Vegeta personally, although every once in a while he would put Vegeta in his place when Vegeta was acting like a jerk, but that was not enough for Vegeta to make Appule a scapegoat, especially since Appule managed to heal Vegeta up in that tank after battle.
Wait, of course! Zarbon! Zarbon was after all the easiest target for Vegeta ever! He hated Zarbon's guts, he hated Zarbon for even being half- related to Miretta, and he hated Zarbon because Zarbon was smarter, dressed classier and acted more like a high prized prince of the throne who was not worthy to sleep around with anyone, not even a woman of his own kind.
Of course Vegeta did not know that Zarbon did not take sex well at all, Vegeta has always misinterpreted Zarbon's nature, because Zarbon was a different species from him and he came off as a snob since he did not talk to him a lot of the time! Sometimes Zarbon teased Vegeta in front of his friends, but that was not enough to send Vegeta over the edge.
Vegeta needed to talk trash to Zarbon and now, so during lunchtime, Zarbon was eating his peanut butter and jelly sandwich and talking to Appule and Cui about his day helping Frieza conquer a planet that he was almost unfamiliar with and had no idea it existed!
"I can't believe that I was able to find that planet, I usually hate talking about work, but I took it over in a couple of days, it was so hard!" Zarbon said.
"Don't worry Zarbon sometimes we all have issues like that! Just because you did not know it existed doesn't mean it didn't exist to begin with!" Appule said.
It's true, Zarbon only talked and boasted around Frieza, mainly to keep alive and in his favor of course. Just because Frieza made him heir to his throne and raised him from a three-year-old, doesn't mean that Zarbon was let off the hook! If anything, his calm kind-hearted nature pissed Frieza off, in private and sometimes in front of others!
Anyways getting back to the story, Zarbon was eating peppered sushi made of shark right after he ate his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he felt really hungry today, especially since killing all those females and children kind of got to him….emotionally! He could not help but think, "What if those were my nieces and nephew? What if that was my sister?"
It's not like Vegeta cared nor caught onto Zarbon's "semi-secret human side". Vegeta also killed plenty of women and children too! It wasn't a loss to him that Zarbon would feel upset about it, not that he was able to catch onto it! It just made him easier of a target because sometimes when Zarbon less savage with people, it pissed him off!
Vegeta went up to Zarbon from behind, pulled on his hair and Zarbon fell down to the floor! While most of everyone in the cafeteria laughed their butts off, Liya, Appule and Cui were the only ones that actually attempted to help Zarbon up and comfort him. They were pretty much his only friends and allies!
"Are you all right Zarbon?" Appule asked.
Some of Zarbon's shyness came from being around Appule growing up, since Appule had a human-like side and he was more kind than Frieza ever would have been! As time went on, Appule turned from a caregiver to Zarbon to being more of a friend! He was the only one that he could really count on to trust with information.
Oh what? You thought that since Frieza raised Zarbon from a three-year old after his mother died, that that officially makes Frieza the one that raised Zarbon? No way, Zarbon only bonded to Frieza because he didn't have a choice, it's not like he picked up his temperament from Frieza. Zarbon never ever looked up to Frieza; Frieza was the one that took his carefree childhood away from him!
After all Appule basically raised Zarbon while Frieza planned on conquering planets, eliminating races like the spoiled brat that he was! It was basically Appule that indirectly gave Zarbon a human side, Zarbon picked up Appule's gentle nurturing nature by copying him. Appule treated Zarbon like a person, not like a slave, GI Joe toy, or a sex object like Frieza did!
"I think so, what happened?" Zarbon asked.
"Vegeta pulled you by your hair and you fell to the ground," Cui said.
Ironically despite being a conspirator and a major double agent, Cui used to babysit Zarbon with Appule! He was going to be the one who would originally adopt Zarbon since Zarbon's mom wrote in her will that Cui would take care of him if she were to die. Instead, Frieza was the one who adopted Zarbon!
Frieza was the one who wanted to put him in an orphanage because he was mad that Zarbon's mom rejected his unrequited lust for her! Then he changed his mind and thought since he lusted over Zarbon's mom before she died, that he could at least make it up to her to raise Zarbon…that was his way of getting his revenge! Causing the poor kid so much pain, that Serena would watch from her grave covering her eyes up!
In actuality, Vegeta would never know Zarbon's secret pain, because Zarbon was able to mask it in public by the time Vegeta was given to Frieza! Vegeta was still under his father's house, he was raised to basically kill, to boast, and to put servants and peasants in their place! Vegeta in fact got his violent and arrogant attitude to life from his own father, not Frieza!
Of course it was normal to him to act all mean and savage, it was the only thing he knew! Besides, Zarbon did not even meet Vegeta until after Vegeta's own father gave him to Frieza as a bargaining present! By that time, Frieza got bored sexually abusing Zarbon, Zarbon was too old and too smart to let that happen to him anymore than it used to!
However, a note must be made that Vegeta was amused by Zarbon when he got angry with him, because it was the best way to make fun of him behind his back. Zarbon got mad and watched as Vegeta waved to him with a smart-ass look on his face, "Oh and you wonder why I can't talk to a stupid savage monkey like him?" Zarbon yelled out.
"He called you a monkey! What are you going to do?" Nappa asked.
"Technically Nappa, we are stupid savage monkeys, but it's not like Zarbon knows a thing about our race!" Vegeta said.
"Except that your race was obliterated…by a comet!" Zarbon said as he looked over at Appule shaking his head no! Zarbon almost said what really happened, he almost spit out the truth! Had Appule not shook his head and Zarbon not of looked over at Appule to correct himself, he would have burst out the biggest more darkest secret hidden from the remaining Sayains on Planet Frieza!
After all it was a secret that Zarbon and Frieza's council of other generals voted on the annihilation of the Sayain race. Zarbon was the only one who voted no, and Zarbon was outvoted by the other more generals since Frieza wanted to kill all the Sayains off anyways. The generals must have picked up on this earlier since Frieza had openly talked about how violent and rude the Sayains were.
Either way it was kind of a rigged vote, so it's not like it mattered if Zarbon had a say-so or not, he was the one that delivered the vote to Frieza personally and that is how Frieza decided to destroy the Sayain Race. For once in his life, besides deciding things himself, Frieza decided that his generals needed to vote on this, so if Frieza was found out he could blame it all on them!
The many reports of brutal behavior from many of the Sayains onto civilians of their own kind, and Frieza's kind, Zarbon and Frieza's other men clearly did not really need psychic powers to see that the Sayains were a growing threat, especially since the random massacres on Frieza's civilians was one of the reasons why Frieza decided to eliminate the Sayains.
They had seen these Sayains act violently which made Zarbon think that Frieza made a huge mistake trying to control them! "Well look who's talking!" Vegeta yelled out.
"ARRRHHH!" Zarbon yelled.
Zarbon lost his temper and then plunged at Vegeta and they both then got into a huge fight in the cafeteria! Then they were reported to Frieza! They sat in front of Frieza's desk, both had black eyes, bruised skin and of course blood on them everywhere.
"Now Zarbon how many times do I have to tell you not to stoop to this monkey's level?" Frieza asked.
"I tried not to, but he pulled my hair and I didn't do anything to deserve that!" Zarbon said.
"You were raised better than that! I didn't raise you to be this way!" Frieza yelled at Zarbon.
"You hardly raised me at all I was in the care of Appule and Cui at the time, which is probably why I am not an s…." Zarbon was then interrupted by Frieza.
"Ok I get the point, but you were not raised to act out whenever you wanted to! You might be a slave like him, but you are the heir to my empire! I need to keep you intelligent and well behaved so you might be an outstanding ruler someday!" Frieza said.
"Oh like you?" Zarbon sarcastically said smiling really fake.
Frieza got furious and slapped Zarbon in the face, "How dare you raise your voice at me!" Frieza said.
Vegeta laughed his ass off, Frieza furiously slapped Vegeta in the face so hard that Vegeta fell out of his seat. "Don't think you get off easily either Vegeta! You are the one that started it! If you two weren't in my favor then I would have killed the both of you right this second for acting stupid!" Frieza said.
"Exactly you are too chicken to..." Before Zarbon could finish Vegeta chimed in.
"Yes maybe we should cut Frieza some slack," Vegeta said.
Zarbon looked furiously at Vegeta, for most of his life he had witnessed the evil things Frieza, Dodoria, Shasha, and countless of other low-level solders have done to countless civilians. Zarbon only killed women and children when ordered to, but those others took it to many more different levels than he cared to witness.
How does this even relate to this story you ask? Vegeta was not in Zarbon's life when Zarbon was raped by Frieza… when he was a child. Vegeta was eight to ten years younger than Zarbon in human years, he wasn't even born yet when Frieza decided to take his sexual frustrations out on Zarbon! When Zarbon was forced to start killing women and children, he wasn't even past the age of sixteen and hadn't met Vegeta yet!
Frieza was just lucky that Zarbon was too chicken to personally hurt Frieza, even though he thought about constantly overthrowing him! In fact, had Zarbon been raised by Frieza personally twenty-four seven and not Appule or Cui he could have ended up as brutal as Vegeta, Shasha or Dodoria! Frieza caught onto this idea years ago, and kept docile individuals like Appule and Cui around Zarbon so that he did not get the idea to try to destroy Frieza someday when the time came.
However, Frieza knew that if he was raised around docile people like Appule and Cui it would have its drawbacks, like Zarbon shaking each time Frieza killed someone, that wasn't the worse of it! The worse of it would be Zarbon crying in public, or crying in private, which Frieza saw as a weakness, but that was better than raising someone to be a total killing machine that would turn on you when having your back turned for one second.
It just was not in Zarbon's true nature to kill people or watch it with pride, of course faking it was enough for those other solders, but Frieza always knew Zarbon would fake being happy to see people suffer, since he is the one that raised him from a 3-year-old after his mom dumped him onto Planet Frieza!
Let's get back to the story now, later on Zarbon was in his room talking with Appule, Appule was his best friend in the world besides his pet cat Blacky, whom Appule gave to Zarbon in his eighteenth birthday and was actually a familiar spirit born into a cat's body!
However this was serious, Vegeta had tried to cross the line with many people, and he targeted Zarbon for the most part, but Zarbon could not really understand why!
"Out of all the people that are here in the palace I am the only one that has tried to understand Vegeta and try to befriend him! What is the matter with me?" Zarbon asked.
Appule did not think anything was personally wrong with Zarbon, although Zarbon was a little bit on the vain and privileged side, there seemed nothing wrong with him compared to Frieza's most ruthless men, however Zarbon did have another flaw that bugged Appule more-so than his vanity and naivety!
"Zarbon I have told you time and again that Vegeta isn't worth getting to know that well! He's aggressive, he's always going to be aggressive, and he isn't worth befriending because he hates you and everyone else! He was raised by an evil tyrant like Frieza, except this one…" before Appule could finish Zarbon interrupted.
"That little snot doesn't know how lucky he is compared to the people of planet Frieza! Many of them are raised in poverty and can't read, write or even eat most of the time!" Zarbon said.
"What can you do, life sucks sometimes." Appule said.
"No I was thinking that maybe what we need to do is make Vegeta know how special he really is, so that he realizes not to act alike a spoiled brat!" Zarbon said.
"Time out, he already knows how special he is, that's the problem we're trying to get rid of remember?" Appule said.
"What if we could make him feel guilty about how special he is, and he won't think too highly of himself!" Zarbon said.
"Zarbon you are going into uncharted waters here, Vegeta is arrogant, he always has been, and he will always probably be! You can't change him, it's like trying to change Shasha or Dodoria, except it's a bit more complicated in this case, because we're dealing with another prince besides yourself!" Appule said.
"I know that, but I have been taught by you personally that there are people out there that have is worse than me! You are right about that, although I still say being sexually molested by Frieza isn't a huge honor." Zarbon said.
"You were a young boy Zarbon, you didn't understand back then that Frieza was a…" Appule then got his mouth covered by Zarbon.
"Quiet Appule, someone could overhear you! Let's think about how we are going to do this! You know make Vegeta feel that being special isn't always a great idea." Zarbon said.
So Zarbon and Appule worked out Zarbon's massive, but total fail potential plan to make Vegeta feel more modest, which was a challenge of course.
Zarbon took Vegeta to a very poor side of the planet with Nappa behind them, "You aren't going to rape Vegeta or nothing are you?" Nappa asked.
"Nappa, please that's not right to say such things!" Zarbon said taking Vegeta by the hand. They walked over to a peasant's village in which there were women who were scything the fields of wheat and barley to ship out into the cities.
"Ok so far I don't understand what the deal is, are you trying to get me mad or something?" Vegeta asked.
"No I'm not, I'm trying to show you how special you are, you are so special that you don't have to work in the fields like these people do." Zarbon said.
"I'm bored can we go back to the spaceship and go back to the palace?" Vegeta asked.
"No not yet! Go up and ask them a question if you must get the point!" Zarbon said.
Vegeta thought what the hell! He went up to a peasant Icejin Changeling woman who was scything some wheat and then putting it into a basket. "Excuse me peasant, I have a question to ask you!" Vegeta said.
The peasant turned to him, "Look I'm not off of work until 19 in the evening. If you want to go to the brothel or something, just get in line, I have plenty of people waiting for me!" She said.
"Wow you're amazing! Do you charge…"
"Ok, ok! Sorry Madam, but the kid was here to learn a life lesson, not to join your brothel party!" Zarbon said picking Vegeta up and taking him back to the ship.
Nappa walked up to the woman, "Hey lady can I come to your brothel, whatever that may be?"
The only reaction that Nappa got was a scythe in his head, it probably mushed his brains of course, and Zarbon had a hell of a time yanking it out for it was stuck in there good!
"So is this your master plan Zippy? Getting us killed and raped by stupid peasants?" Vegeta said.
"No, we need to go to the big city to show you why you are truly special and fortunate to live in a great palace with Frieza!" Zarbon said.
"Good because those peasants are so smelly and stupid!" Vegeta said laughing.
Zarbon glared at Vegeta, "Yes perhaps you have a point,"
So they went to one of the big cities on the planet, one was the capital of the planet and it was outside very far from where Vegeta and Zarbon lived of course! Zarbon was not a huge city person nor was he really a talker for the city. This quiet palace boy and this other palace boy with the big mouth and arrogant attitude had no idea what they were in for!
As Zarbon, Nappa and Vegeta walked down the street in Downtown Planet Frieza, they were being stared at by thuggish looking people, more thuggish looking than say…Dodoria or Shasha. Zarbon just put on a brave face, whereas Nappa and Vegeta were too brave and possibly to stupid and naïve to really know the danger they faced, just because Zarbon tried to lecture them both on how lucky they were.
Anyways they went into a pub, there was fighting, women Icejin Changeling women who were making out with men they never met, and of course…plenty of liquor!
Zarbon then cleared his throat and said, "Vegeta, in our cafeteria in the palace, it's more organized than this, and you don't really get arrested by the secret police, you just get sent to Frieza's office and tell him why you were fighting."
"This place is awesome!" Vegeta said excited.
Everyone turned to look at him, Nappa and Zarbon, "Uh hi!" Nappa said.
Everyone then went back to what they were doing, nothing interesting with these three odd characters. Just two narcissistic princes and a dork that reminded them of a piece of hillbilly white trash that could only be founded on planet earth 1 and 2.
"So what's your point? That I'm not rough enough to live here?" Vegeta asked.
"No that's not what I meant Vegeta, I'm just saying…"
"Nope speak no further glamour-puss, allow me to take it from here!" Vegeta said walking up to the bar and sitting down on a chair at the bar.
"Hey you, I want a cocktail with extra lemons and limes in it!" Vegeta said.
The bartender turned around, he was a nasty looking fellow, and in fact he had no eyes because he was blinded! Possibly by Frieza's secret police that walked in the city. Other than that, he was tough looking, and he had many scars on him. He could not see, but that didn't mean that he did not know where Vegeta was sitting exactly, he depended on his ears to know where he was.
"We don't got no lemons ass-wipe!" he said.
Uhhhh... he was ugly when he opened his mouth, he was just so horrible looking, his teeth were all gone and his tongue was slightly cut off, so that when he talked he sounded like he talked with a lisp in a deep voice.
This was not enough to scare Vegeta, heck he had seen more banged up people than this!
"You don't scare me, get me a lemon or else I will make you a lemon you hear me?" Vegeta yelled getting pissed off. He got so pissed off that he threw a fireball into the bar, which destroyed all the liquor on the shelf, and nearly killing the bar-tender.
"You better apologize or else you will be my next dinner!" The bartender said jumping over the bar and walking up to Vegeta.
"Bring it on blindy the pirate!" Vegeta said laughing.
A huge fight broke out between the bartender and Vegeta, Zarbon now had to interfere! "I have to save him, stay here!" Zarbon said to Nappa.
"I'm coming with you Zarbon!" Nappa said, but someone tried to pin Nappa down, but it was useless, Nappa ducked before he could be pinned down and then used his monkey tail to throw that hooligan to the other side of the room.
Zarbon tried to break up the bartender and Vegeta, but he got hurt doing it. Things from here on got a little bit worse, when I mean worse, I mean really bad!
So Zarbon, Nappa and Vegeta were taken back to the palace of Frieza, and since the secret police didn't know that it was Zarbon the heir to the empire and the top general and soothsayer for Frieza, of course they didn't think twice about it. They also didn't know what species Vegeta and Nappa were, all they knew that Vegeta, Nappa and Zarbon were all trouble!
They got to Frieza's palace and Frieza looked at the three "hooligans" and he was shocked, "What the hell is this?" Frieza asked.
"We caught three trouble makers at a bar who started a huge bar fight!" one of the secret police said.
"Those aren't trouble makers, that tall turquoise colored one is my adopted son and top general, and those two, are my two of my three Sayains that I spared from….that comet!" Frieza said almost spitting the truth out.
"Just go home, leave these three to me!" Frieza said.
Vegeta raised his eyebrow, "What do you mean spared from that co…"
"All right what the hell were you three doing out by yourselves! You know you are forbidden from leaving the palace! You Zarbon should especially know better!" Frieza said.
"But sir I was trying to show Vegeta how lucky he was to live in a palace, I wanted him to feel fortunate compared to most of our planet inhabitances, so that they wouldn't bitch, complain or start random fights in the cafeteria!" Zarbon said.
"Zarbon I did not tell you to give Vegeta a lesson in gratitude! Besides that's just going to make him feel twice as cocky, he's a sociopath remember?" Frieza asked.
"I wouldn't say that he's a…."
"Zarbon don't try to stand up for him, he's a sociopath and you know it! You are in denial and you think you can befriend him! Sayains aren't friendly to other species let alone their own which is why I…I mean that comet destroyed their planet! Evolution decided that they needed to be destroyed so that is why he sent that comment out to their planet to be destroyed!" Frieza said correcting himself again when he realized that he was in front of Vegeta and Nappa.
"What or who is evolution?" Nappa asked.
"Never mind it's not important, fuck off all of you, especially you Zarbon! I don't want to talk to you or speak with you for a week!" Frieza said crossing his arms.
"Why the hell did he use speak and talk to you in the same sentence?" Zarbon wondered thinking to himself.
Later sometime that week Zarbon felt terrible…actually felt terrible that he got that spoiled brat of a prince in trouble. After being warned by both Frieza and Appule that Vegeta was a sociopath since the elimination of his own species and Miretta marrying Shasha instead of him pretty much stabbed him in the heart, Zarbon ignored them! He ignored them, why did he do that?
Anyways, Zarbon knew that being the bigger person was so hard even after Frieza told him several times to be the bigger person around Vegeta and let Vegeta make an ass out of himself.
He knocked on Vegeta's door, Nappa answered it, "What do you want bluebell." Nappa asked.
Zarbon frowned he hated being called bluebell, "Is Vegeta around?" he asked.
"Yes he is do you want to see him?" Nappa asked.
What a stupid question, why would Zarbon ask for Vegeta if he didn't want to talk to him? Oh well, Nappa was an idiot anyways. "Yes I do," Zarbon said.
"This way Zarbon bluebell sir," Nappa said.
Zarbon rolled his eyes and went into the room Vegeta was sitting down looking at a comic book, which he couldn't read of course because like many of his dead Sayains he was illiterate. "Vegeta I want to apologize to you for getting you into trouble. That was not my intention, but anyways I brought you a present." Zarbon said.
Vegeta put his comic book and looked at Zarbon in a disgusted way, "Ewwww, you aren't trying to rape me by giving me this present as a bribe... are you?" Vegeta asked even though he knew that this was not true and couldn't be further from the truth.
"No, it's a new version of a Scouter that was given to me by Appule as a present, I thought that I had no use for it and thought you could use it for your missions instead!" Zarbon said.
"Oh let's see it!" Vegeta said grabbing it from Zarbon.
He studied the Scouter and then did something that Zarbon did not think would happen, he threw it against the wall, he laughed.
"Sorry but I don't need it," Vegeta said.
"Then why didn't you give it back to me? I could have used it if you didn't want it!" Zarbon asked frustrated and angry.
"Why did you try to give it to me if you wanted it so badly?" Vegeta asked grabbing his comic book and started looking at the pictures again.
"You do realize that you broke a very expensive item that you could have sold on the internet to the highest bidder, right?" Zarbon asked.
"I don't care!" Vegeta said.
Well there went that idea of trying to make peace with that savage! Zarbon was the last person to hate Vegeta, and the reason why he was trying to be nice was so that he made a promise to his half-sister Miretta not to harm or kill Vegeta until after she died.
Zarbon angrily walked out of his room and went back to his room; he probably would tell Appule that he lost the Scouter... that is if he did not find out first that that stupid dork Vegeta broke the Scouter first!