I'm back again, lads! And guess what? I'm home! Home in time for Christmas. I've missed my mum and dad. But I'm home now, and all's right with the world. Yay!

Katherine Sparrow: Yeah, I kinda went reference happy in the last chapter. I couldn't help myself! There are so many amazing things in our world that Aisley would obviously know about! And she just strikes me as the kind of person who'd take it back with her and pretend she made it up. What? Shakespeare? Who's that guy? I obviously wrote Macbeth… lol

Pink penguins: I could see her as Merida, kind of. Yes, I saw Brave. And loved it. And as to the line, well it might be a bit of a culture gap thing. Or maybe it's just the family I was raised in. But to me, a wicked gleam in your eye means that you're about to say a pun, or some comment that'll make you groan. It's the look you get before you make a really bad joke, and you know it's going to be bad, but you say it anyways just to make your friends all groan.

Guest: I'm going to try and blame my family on this one too, ok? I was raised in the kind of family where your siblings were all you had, and so you better be close or else. Kind of like in Hamlet, where everyone thought that Laertes was incestuous to Ophelia, when they were really just a close family? So if it seems like Aisley and ol' Elf Boy are in love, well, they're not. Sorry about the confusion. And thanks for that! I'm really trying to make Aisley a comedic character to lighten up the whole war and death thing. Glad to know its working!

Do I still need a disclaimer? Because I still don't own it…

"Confound this dumb dress!" Aisley declared, fighting viciously to get it on. "What does a girl have to do to get a good pair of trousers around here?"

It wasn't that she was too overly opposed to dresses. Trousers were easier to do all the exploring she did with the Girl Guides and all, but she did don the occasional dress when the need arose. However, most dresses were easier to wear then the ones provided…

"Do you require aide, Milady?" A young elf girl-make that elleth- asked, coming in the door. Aisley jumped, unaccustomed with the lack of privacy, until she remembered that things were different here. Here, women had maids to help them dress, maids to help them bathe, and maids to do their hair. Nothing was private.

"Er, I do, thank you, Miss Rína." Aisley smiled, and the elleth slipped behind her, pulling the dress up easily and lacing the stays.

"I cannot put my own dress on without aide either." Rína consoled. "And, please, Miss, call me Rína. No one calls a maid Miss."

"Well, they ought to." Aisley replied, indignant. "But I'll call you by your given name on one condition- that you call me by mine. You have no idea how tiresome it gets with the 'Miss Aisley' this and the 'milady' that. By my own company too! And ugh! Don't even get me started on 'Lady Aisley'! Am I a Lady? No! I'm not even a Duchess or anything!"

"There you are, Mi- I mean, Aisley." Rína smiled, tying off her stays. Aisley gasped loudly.

"How do you breathe in these confounded things?" She swore, and Rína laughed.

"You are most amusing, Aisley. I assume you haven't had many dealings with dresses before? I heard tell that you arrived in a most odd tunic and breeches."

"Yeah, well, it's sort of standard in my lands." Aisley shrugged- or attempted to without crushing her ribs. "It's so grand to be clean again!" She added, sniffing her armpits. "I'm kind of afraid to try and tackle my rat's nest of hair. It hasn't been brushed in months."

"I would say I've seen worse, but we don't get too many visitors." Rína replied, giggling at Aisley's antics. "Would you like me to try and comb it out?"

"Tame the beast? It's your funeral." Aisley shrugged. "Only if you have nothing to do for hours."

"Milady- I mean, Aisley, I assure you, I have nothing to do besides wait on you. It is my job."

"Awfully boring job." Aisley frowned. "But you know what? I like you. And I haven't had any female interaction in about nine months or so. The lads are great and all, but a girl needs her girlfriends, you know? Her mates. Her lasses."

"I do not understand." Rína tipped her head, and Aisley frowned, considering.

"Well, the lads smell bad. Really bad. And they like to talk about how many things they've killed so far, and they like to gut all the cute little squirrels right in front of you, just so you'll get sick all over their runners. They just don't get it when you need to talk about your feelings, and as good as they are at saving your life, they're downright lousy when it comes to getting rid of your fears. Strider was the best at it, you know, and all he did was stare at me until I could get myself under control. Tara, my mate, used to talk to me and calm me down, but those lads couldn't do anything."

"Your mate? Then you are married?"

"What? No!" Aisley laughed. "That's what we say for my friend. My pal. My bud. My pet. My darling. I don't really know what you call it." She frowned, remembering that she was more fluent in Sindarin than she was in Westron, anyway. "Ah! Mellon nin. That's what you call it, right?"

"You know Sindarin?" Rína asked, pleased.

"Oh, yes. I'm honestly more fluent in it then in common tongue. My first language, English, isn't spoken in these lands." And neither are my second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, or eighth languages, she added mentally.

"It is rare we find a mortal with that skill." Rína replied, switching back to Sindarin. Aisley smiled- as developed as her Westron had become, she was still more comfortable in her former language.

"Yes, well, languages are my strong suit." Aisley shrugged, and sat down. Rína picked up a comb and began to try and tame Aisley's mass of hair.

"That is a particularly useful skill." Rína praised, but Aisley frowned.

"In diplomacy, perhaps, but not in the sort of quest the lads undertook. That's why they're leaving me here, you know. I'm about as useful to them as a cigarette lighter on a motorbike."

"What?"

"Er- I cannot fight. I am of no aide to the lads. I've only slowed them down, saving my bum like they have."

"I see." Rína nodded. "Well, that will have to change, I suppose. Lady Galadriel has ordered you to be trained with the marchwardens."

"What?" Aisley cried, turning to face Rína. The young elleth met her gaze evenly.

"If you are to stay here, you must pull your share of the duties. You will be treated as a guest with your Company, but once they leave, you are a resident of Lothlόrien, and must help out as such."

"I understand that, of course, but why do I have to be trained as a marchwarden? I have little skill with a blade, and my bow skills are even worse! Can I not be a lady in waiting such as yourself?"

"It is a very high honour that you have been appointed to train with the marchwardens." Rína shook her head. "You cannot shirk that responsibility. However, the training is only precautionary. Lady Galadriel means for you to become an ambassador for our people, due to your skill in language. You will run negotiations with foreign lands, if the need arises, and work alongside the marchwardens if it does not."

"It seems as though Lady Galadriel plans for me to reside here for a long time." Aisley frowned slightly. "Is Lothlόrien to be my permanent home? Surely she remembers that the lads will be coming back for me."

"My Lady means to provide for you in the case that you cannot return home, so that you will always have a home amongst us."

"How very kind of the Lady." Aisley nodded, and Rína returned to brushing her hair. "I am afraid, however, that I cannot match up to her expectations of me in battle. My skills are, shall I say, severely lacking."

"That can be changed in due time." Rína smiled. "And believe me, to be a woman appointed to train with the marchwardens, you are very lucky indeed. The Elves may be more relaxed about gender roles than Man, but it is still rare to find a woman amongst our ranks."

"Believe me, I'd much rather stay away from a blade." Aisley sighed. "Where I come from, I am still mostly considered a child. I've just become of age, you see. And no one expects me to have my life together yet. I was working in retail! Of course, I don't suppose you know what that means. I was a sort of a… a vendor. And my mum, she was teaching me to be a chemist like her. I'm a scientist, not a fighter!"

"Aisley, you need only try." Rína consoled. "My Lady is forgiving and true to her word. Even if your skills are not up to standard, she will allow you to stay."

Aisley nodded, and Rína laughed. "How do you expect me to brush your hair if you will not keep your head still?"

"Forgive me." Aisley laughed. "How's it coming?"

"Not as bad as I had assumed." Rína smiled, handing Aisley a lock of untangled hair to hold. "Your hair is so vivid. It is quite beautiful."

"Thank you." Aisley blushed. "Most people here have only commented on how I must be related to a dwarf, being ginger and all." Rína tipped her head, considering it.

"It is true, I have not seen Man with that shade of hair before, but you, Aisley, are no dwarf." Rína declared, brushing the top of Aisley's ear as she brushed it out. Aisley turned to look at her, and Rína smiled. "You have no beard."

"Even the women have beards?" Aisley asked, aghast. Rína laughed.

"Aye. It is a little known fact. Difficult to tell the women apart from the men." She handed Aisley another lock, moving on to the last section.

"Good to know." Aisley smirked. "You would not believe how marvellous it is to be clean again!" She reiterated, brushing her hand across her dirt free face. "And I smell lovely! Like lilacs!" Rína laughed, setting down the brush.

"How would you like me to style your hair? Down, covering your ears? Many of our women do."

"Oh, yes, thank you." Aisley nodded, as Rína smiled.

"Is it secret?" Rína asked randomly, after a long pause.

"Is what?" Aisley asked, frowning.

"Do not take me for a fool." Rína replied, and Aisley nodded.

"Oh. That. Yes, well, the lads couldn't possibly understand, you know." Aisley shrugged, and Rína smoothed her voluminous red locks, weaving a hair jewel atop the wavy mass, holding it in place. Aisley had forgotten how… well, how much body her hair had when it wasn't limp and stringy with months of build-up, dirt, and twigs. Clean hair was definitely a plus.

"I think they will understand more than you give them credit." Rína advised. "But no matter. It shall remain our secret. Let me look at you."

Aisley stood up and turned to face Rína, as the elleth surveyed her handiwork.

"As pretty as a Princess." Rína smiled, handing her boots. "I do not know if you wear boots, as you were barefoot when you arrived, however your feet are not hardy like Masters Hobbits, and were heavily wounded. I think you would benefit from them."

"Thank you." Aisley accepted them, sliding them on her no longer sore feet. "I had a pair of runners, but the Elf said they were too noisy."

"Ah." Rína smiled. "I have talked to him in your time here. He can be quite stubborn."

"And annoying." Aisley added. "Don't tell him this, but he's the closest to a brother I've ever had, I think. I haven't had much experience with family, but we definitely quarrel like siblings."

"I can see that. The whole Company genuinely cares for you. They have been asking after you a lot, however my Lady insisted that you stay with me to get cleaned up. I'm afraid that although we healed most of your wounds, we could not rid you of your scar." Aisley's hand flew up to her jaw reflexively to trace the scar left by the orc blade.

"It is quite alright. I've gotten used to it." She replied. "I don't think I'll ever get used to this dress though. How do you breathe?"

"Take shallow breaths" Rína advised. "Come, Aisley, you must be famished. We are about to sit down for midday meal."

"Alright, pet. Lead on!" Aisley laughed. "I'm starving!"

As Aisley and Rína entered the dining hall, the Company, already seated, looked up.

And burst out laughing.

"Hey! Stop that, all of you!" Aisley cried, storming over to them and swatting Pippen on the arm. He grinned up at her cheekily.

"Beg your pardon, Miss Aisley. It's just; we've never seen you so…lady-like. It's just a bit offsetting."

"I can be a lady if I want to!" Aisley claimed, indignant, and Rína bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Lassie, you could not be lady-like if you were trained under the Lady of Light herself." Gimli chuckled. "And that is a real Lady."

"What? That's preposterous. I am so lady-like that you wouldn't believe. Isn't that right, Strider?"

"They know who I am, Aisley, you don't have to call me that." Aragorn replied with a smile.

"Fine. Aragorn. But I'm still lady-like, right?" She asked, hoisting up her dress so that she could sit down. The Company politely looked away until she had smoothed her dress back down. "Oh. Sorry." She mumbled. "Thanks, lads."

"I will refrain from answering your question." Aragorn said with a grin. "I fear my answer will only upset you."

"Cheeky." Aisley hissed, turning to Rína. "Well, what do you think?"

"I think you have the propensity to become a very well-mannered lady." Rína replied. "You need only the right training."

"Well, thank you, pet. At least one of you recognizes my true potential." Aisley nodded with a smile. "When do we eat? I'm that hungry I could eat an entire cow sandwiched between two bread vans."

"Begging your pardon, Miss Aisley." Sam called out, speaking for the group.

"Oh. Sorry. It's an Ireland thing. Er- I'm famished." She cleared up, and they nodded. Borimir nudged her side.

"Over nine months with us and you still cannot speak properly." He teased, and Aisley snorted.

"I can speak properly enough. It's you lads that can't keep up."

"Right." Legolas smirked. "If that is what you want to believe, lady."

"See what I mean?" Aisley whispered to Rína. "It's so good to have a lass around now. You're a heaven sent!"

"What?"

"Sorry, er- Valar sent."

"You do know that you are not the only two that speak Elvish?" Legolas asked, amused, and Aisley stuck out her tongue at him.

"It's not like we're trying to have a private conversation, Elf Boy. But why're you listening in, anyway?"

"It's not as if he can help it, Miss Aisley." Merry spoke up. "We're all sitting right here."

"Miss Aisley this, Miss Aisley that." Aisley snorted to Rína. "They make me feel like an old woman!"

"They mean no harm. It's only a matter of respect."

"Aye, I know. That's why I don't call them out on it." Aisley shrugged. "I'm nice like that."

Suddenly Elves came along, bearing the midday meal, and all conversation halted as Aisley began stuffing her face faster than the Company could say thank you.

"Slow down, or you will choke!" Borimir laughed, and Aisley glared at him.

"I'm eating! Don't interrupt me!" She cried through a mouthful of spinach, and Borimir laughed again.

"I have never seen a woman prize her food as much as you, milady. Most are trying to watch their figure."

"Let me get fat." Aisley shrugged. "I'm hungry!"

She wasn't quite so happy a few hours later, when her dress was even more uncomfortable…

"Miss Aisley, we are sure to miss you!" Pippen declared, hugging her around the waist. Aisley smiled and hugged him back.

"And I will miss you, Peregrin Took. But chin up, boyo. We'll meet again." She turned to Merry and hugged him hard. "You keep this one out of trouble, you hear?"

"No guarantees, Miss Aisley. I'll do my best."

"And you, Frodo. Do whatever it is you're supposed to do with that Ring, ok?"

"You mean destroy it?"

"Yes, I mean precisely that. Throw it in the volcano!"

"I will. I promise."

"And you look out for him, ok Sam? But don't forget to look out for yourself too."

"Of course, Miss Aisley."

"And Elf Boy? Take care of yourself. Don't die or anything, because then I'll have no one to annoy me. And we can't have that." Aisley added, and Legolas smirked.

"Of course. I had not planned on dying anyway."

"Gimli, keep him in line." Aisley laughed. "We can't go having him get too arrogant."

"Oh, agreed." Gimli nodded. "That, I can do."

"Borimir, keep yourself in line. You're a good man, I know you are. Stay safe."

"I will, milady."

"And Aragorn?" She asked, turning to the last of their party. "Thank you for taking me in. I would have died in the woods without you. Stay safe and come back, alright?"

"Of course, Aisley. I will be back."

"Good. None of you better die, you hear me? Or I'll kill you all!" She glared at each of them in turn. "I can't handle losing another person I care about. Three is enough."

"Do not worry, milady." Borimir smiled, clamping his hand on her shoulder. "We will not fall, and we will come back."

"Do not make promises you cannot keep." Aisley smiled. "But I appreciate the gesture. Good luck, lads! Safe travels! Make the evil guys eat dirt!"

She and Rína waited outside, waving and watching as the Fellowship, the first people she'd ever met in Middle Earth, rowed away in their boats down the river.