"After this semester, I don't want to go back to Berea."

"What? No, no, baby. You have to." I was panicking. Men didn't panic. Men from Queens didn't panic. But I was panicking. Two old ladies died in one year and that's when she decided not to go back to the safest college she could be at.

"I want to go to college closer to here. I'll finish out this semester and then fill out my transfer forms. I just know I don't want to be that far away from you and from my family."

She was curled into my side with her head buried in the crook of my neck. Her breath was on my collarbone and I could hear my heart rate speeding up on the monitor. I fucking hated that monitor. I didn't even need it anymore. I didn't need to be in the hospital anymore but they found blood in my stool and needed to keep me for more observations. I could feel it in my bones that more things were going to go badly. I couldn't let Laura stay around for them.

"Baby, it's not safe for you here. You have to know that. You can't stay here."

"Juice, there is nowhere else I want to be. I need to come home. I won't even really be involved in club business. I'll pack my schedule with classes and I'll get a job so you don't have to pay for my classes. I can get loans and stuff too. I promise I won't be in your hair. It'll be just like it was when I was in high school except we'll have our own place to stay and I'll support myself."

I ran my hand over my Mohawk nervously. It was bad. It was so so bad. Part of me wanted to cave right then and there. I dreamt every night of having Laura back with me every day. It would be perfection. Having her by my side every night. Picking her up from class to take her to work. Then I thought about logic. The club called me the retard but I knew best when it came to Laura. I made stupid mistakes, like giving a dog crank. But I didn't want to make mistakes when it came to being with Laura. A mistake would make me lose her and I didn't ever want to lose her.

"Baby, there is nothing I would love more than to support you. If I had my way, you would never work. You would just do your classes and focus on your school and let me take care of everything. But, Laura, Charming isn't safe like it used to be. Things around here are changing. This place is different and I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt. Of losing you. I would rather die than not have you."

"I'll get a gun. I'll have my own car. I'm not involved in the porn business. I'll convince Gemma to hire me on as an extra secretary at the garage, I'll convince Unser and Hale to make me their secretary, I'll get the safest job I can find. I just can't stay in Kentucky for the next three years. I have to be here, with you." Her voice was becoming frantic.

"Baby, I'm facing gun charges. Fifteen years of hard time ahead of me. If you come back to Charming, I won't be here." It was the first time either of us had spoken about the prison time I had facing me. She'd asked me what happened and I told her, but we hadn't talked about the future. I held my breath, waiting to hear what she would have to say.

"Then, I'll need to be here in Charming anyway so I can visit the prison as much as possible. I mean, it's not ideal, but it will work. Of course, we'll have to get pregnant before you go in because I can't have a baby when I'm 33. I know it will suck with you not being here for the pregnancy and it'll probably be hard but I know the club will help me out while you're on the inside. They always helped Donna. Everything will be alright."

I hugged her to me tighter. The determination in her voice was breaking my resolve. It shouldn't have been. It'd been almost three years. I shouldn't have caved so easily. But there I was, on the edge of agreeing. She buried her face deeper into my neck and repeated, "Everything will be alright."

I nodded. She said stubbornly, "In May, when I come home, it'll be for good. So I need to apply to the local community college and start filling out scholarships so I can come home."

"You're coming home."

"Yeah. So we really need to fill the house."

There was a banging at the door and I grabbed the Ruger I kept under my pillow. I would have preferred a Beretta but Gemma gave Tara my old one and Tig was still working on rounding one up for me. I slid out of bed as quietly as I could and crept towards the front of my house, grabbing my cell phone and dialing Opie's number quickly as I walked. I pressed the cell to my ear and was surprised to hear a ringing coming from outside the house.

"Moon, it's me. Do you mind opening the damn door?" Ope's voice growled through the phone.

I rushed to the door and threw it open. Opie took in the sight of me with my cell phone in one hand, the gun in the other, and my ruffled pajamas that consisted of a pair of boy shorts underwear and Juice's club shirt. He demanded, "What the hell are you thinking answering the door like that? You're pretty much a fucking target for a rapist. What if somebody had forced me to get you to the door? What then? You would have been fucking defenseless!"

"I have a gun, Ope," I pointed out.

"A Ruger that I bet you haven't even test fired," he snarled.

"I highly doubt anybody could force you to do anything. You're the size of a mountain and you're stubborn as an ox. Plus you'd die before anything happened to me."

"Well, yeah, but still. You have to be more prepared. Especially if you're going to move back here. No more wandering around in underwear."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you want to come in or not?"

He nodded and I stepped aside to let him in. It had been three days since I informed Juice I was returning home after the semester and we'd only managed to buy an armchair for the living room since then. I led him to the kitchen and he sat down at the table. While I readied coffee and food, he swiped a massive hand down his exhausted face. I sat a plate of spaghetti and a mug of coffee down in front of him moments later.

"Thanks," he grunted. "Juice said you've been taking him food since you've been home. Said hospital food sucks ass and he can't wait to be back."

"Well, I should feed him as much as possible before I go back to college and he goes to prison." Opie stared up at me, surprised I was so casual about it.

"I know what's going on with him, Ope. I'm not stupid. But I can wait for him. Luann waited for Otto forever. I can wait fifteen years."

"He's got a good girl with you, Moon. Plus this spaghetti is fucking amazing. You gotta teach Lyla how to cook."

"We'll work on it," I promised. "So what brings you here in the middle of the night? Beating my door down?"

"We found out this morning that the porn studio burnt down and I've been trying to get hold of you all day. When I talked to Juice earlier he said he hadn't heard from you and I've been looking for you for hours. You weren't answering your phone."

"I went shopping in the city. Phone died and I've been home since then. I took Juice dinner around seven. He was in a little bit of pain though so they'd doped him out of his mind by then."

"Oh. I didn't come here."

"So who burnt down the porn studio?" I rolled my eyes.

"Don't know. Jax thinks Clay did it because Clay wanted him to shut down the business. They're at each other's throats all the time now. Gonna kill the club if they don't get their shit straight."

"That sucks. Do you think Clay did it?"

"No. Not his style. He would need help with something like that and I know Tig and Hap didn't help him. Jax is thinking about going Nomad now."

I could feel my eyes widen. "Pretty big decision to make in one day."

"I know. He's just not getting along with Clay and they hate each other most days. Thinks it would be best for the club if he left for a little while."

"Do you think your dad will vote him out? I mean, it's a pretty big deal. And I know Juice will have a hard time with it. He sees the charter as a family. He can't imagine ever leaving it."

"Jax will beg and Juice will let him go. It's how it works, Moon. SAMCRO is going to fall apart without something really big to hold it together."

I nodded and we sat there in silence for a few moments. He broke the silence by asking, "You want a cigarette?"

I shook my head and laughed, "Go home, Ope. Go home to your kids and to Lyla. She's a good girl and she'll be worried. And if you come home smelling like some girl's house, it's only going to be worse for you."

"She's a porn star, Moon. I don't think she cares much about who I sleep with."

"She's a girl, Ope. And, no matter what her career is, she'll always care about whose bed you're sharing. Now go home. Go home so I can go back to bed and go visit my fiancé in the morning."

"You know, most girls would try to sleep with me."

"I'm not most girls. Go home, Opie," I ordered.

"Got it. Don't answer the door without pants on anymore."

"Okay."

"I just don't get it, baby," I murmured. "I don't understand how anyone could ever want to leave the club."

"He's not leaving the club, honey. He's just going Nomad for a while."

"Same thing."

"Hap did it and now he's back all the time."

"Yeah, well, Happy's a psycho." I growled.

We were curled up in my hospital bed again. She'd brought me hamburgers for lunch. She suggested, "Maybe it's good, baby. Ope seems to think that with Clay and Jax at each other's throats all the time, it could be good for the club."

"They're family, Laura. And family shouldn't leave. John Teller died when he went nomad."

She nodded quietly and wriggled deeper into my side. After a few moments, she asked, "Do you think Clay had anything to do with Caracara burning down?"

"No, baby, Clay would never do something like that. I mean, it'd be disrespectful to Jax and to Luann's memory. Caracara was the last thing she had. It's not like he would do that to Otto or to Jax. Clay's not a bad guy."

"You're right," she sighed. I ran my fingers through her hair.

"I only have one more week left of Spring Break, baby."

"I know. I get released tomorrow. Then we'll be home, in our bed. And we can finally celebrate that I'm alive."

She laughed and snuggled into my side. When the night nurse came in later, Laura was fast asleep with her head on my chest. I whispered, "Let her stay. I get out tomorrow. It won't hurt anything."

She shrugged and backed out quickly. I smiled down at my girl. Even when things were falling to shit, I could count on her to be by my side. On the bedside table, my prepaid rang and I reached over for it as gently as possible so I wouldn't wake her up.

"Go ahead," I said quietly.

"Juice, as soon as you get out tomorrow, you need to be at the clubhouse. No excuses," Jax's voice ordered from the other end.

"Well, I was going to go back to the house with Laura for a few…."

"No," he stated coldly. "No excuses. Gemma was fucking raped. By Weston's men. You need to be at the clubhouse. I don't care what you have to do. Be there. Period."

"Gemma was…."

"Yeah."

"Tell her Laura and I are sorry and if she needs anything…."

"Okay, brother," Jax cut me off. "Just be here as soon as you can tomorrow."