A/N: Enjoy!

"Stop that."

"Kiss my ass."

"Again…no." Emily sat behind a desk. The two knives in her hands clanked lightly together as she attempted to sharpen them. She watched the soldier, sitting in a lone chair struggling against the binds that kept her hands around the back of the chair. She sighed again stabbing one of the knives into the wooden desk before getting up and strolling over to Jane. She lazily placed the cold metal underneath the soldier's chin, pressing dangerously against her quick pulse. "Now, if you don't stop," she paused, grabbing the back of Jane's hair and pulling her head back. She took a step closer, finally breaking the dirt and sweat-caked skin of Jane's long neck. "I'm going to slice those pretty little hands up. Do you understand?"

Looking into Emily's eyes as best she could from this angle, Jane swallowed once. The soldier leaned forward causing the knife to dig a little deeper as she drew closer, only a few inches from her captor's face. A shocked Emily pulled back on the knife but kept it there. Blinking once, Jane snarled, "Kiss. My. Ass." She said with a tug to her binds.

Emily smiled. All too happy for an excuse, she reached back, cutting Jane's rope and freeing her hands at the same time she reached for her hand gun and placed it against Jane's head. "Get up." When Jane didn't move, she reached down and yanked at her torn uniform shirt and forced her to the ground. After a blow to the back of the head from the butt of the gun, Jane could feel the toe of Emily's boot dig into her rib cage as she kicked her onto her back. The last thing she saw was Emily twirling the knife in her hand, smiling…her eyes wired and wide. "Remember, Rizzoli…you asked for this." The pain in the palm of her left hand didn't register at all really. The lack of energy in her body was no match for the searing white heat skyrocketing up her arm and she passed out immediately for the first time in three days.

[24131QDEC17]

[SUNDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2017 1:31 A.M.]

"I'm not upset with you." Jane looked up from the snow on the sidewalk. Richard wasn't looking at her, but she could tell that he was waiting on her reply.

"You should be," she said softly. The man moved his head a bit to glance at her before looking straight ahead again. "I messed this all up. I don't…I don't know what's wrong with me."

There was only silence in the late-night air as both of their feet crunched against the remains of the winter season. They'd been walking for ten minutes and those were the only words either of them had said since leaving the house. Jane wasn't sure what to say or what her father-in-law was even thinking until he pulled his jacket closer and spoke. "Did you know I was in the Army?"

Jane's head jerked up sharply and there was a small stutter in her step. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Maura never mentioned it."

Shaking his head slightly Richard said, "I don't think she even knows. It was before she was born."

"Oh. Well…hooah, sir."

"Hardly," Richard chuckled. "I twisted my ankle during basic training. Wasn't quite made for it like you." He gave her shoulder a small push and she smiled, relieved. "I was sent home. I don't think they wanted me there anymore than I wanted to be there."

"I'm sure you would've been great—"

"I'm not like you, Jane," he said louder. He crossed the street, knowing she would follow. They were now reaching the end of the road, but Richard continued on toward the back of the neighborhood. "You're brave and strong-willed. I know this all must sound a little strange coming from me considering how little time we've actually spent together, but if there's one thing I know about you, Rizzoli." She looked over to him, waiting for him to continue. "You don't abide by anyone's bullshit."

Despite the cold penetrating her bones through the coat, Jane felt a warm shock from what Richard had said. "Yeah," she agreed sniffling unnecessarily.

"Then, why do you tolerate it from yourself? Because that's what this is. Bullshit."

"Sir—"

"Jane," he interrupted sternly. He stopped, turning to face her. "I won't pretend or even attempt to imagine what you must be going through. It's impossible. What I can do is tell you that when I returned home from my very short stint in the army, Constance was not in survivable state." The soldier burrowed her hands even further into her jacket pockets and let her head hang. "I'd only been gone three weeks and my wife had imagined every single possible scenario in which she'd never see me again."

Biting her lip, Jane looked into his eyes. She could feel guilt nagging at her, unshed tears tingling her nose. "How'd you two make it passed that."

Richard nodded and looked up at the snowflakes falling on his head. "Surprisingly, it took a while. I needed a little time and she needed me…it was hard. But you know something, Jane? We didn't have years of tortured waiting, ptsd, anxiety…pain to way us down. You want to know something else?"

"What?"

"Maura is stronger than her mother. Both of us, really. We raised her to be. And you," he said placing his finger against Jane's shoulder, "are definitely stronger than me."

"Christ," Jane exhaled, her neck bowing as a tear ran down her cheek and dangled beneath her chin. "I really messed this up. I should have come home and talked to her…no I should have called her the moment I was conscious in the hospital. God, I should have called her the moment he started harassing me. The first time I caught him trying to send her a letter. That's why I stopped writing to her, ya know? He'd write these…sick letters as if they were from me. I just was so fu-messed up in the head. I should have told her about the—"

"Jane," he said putting his hands on his daughter-in-law's shoulders that were beginning to move quicker. "Stop. You don't need to explain to me what happened. Please, I don't want to be another person that knows ahead of your wife." Jane released a quick sob as she brought up her hands, rubbing the tears out of her eyes. "No matter what he said, or what happened…you, Jane Rizzoli-Isles are not weak."

Jane's cries ceased immediately. Her jaw slacked, and her eyes grew as she searched his face. Sometimes, Jane could hear the Hoyt's voice pounding in her head. Even when someone was speaking to her, hell even when she was talking to someone else, it played on a loop every day. Maybe, it had become so loud that other's around her could hear it too.

She's going to take one look at you and know that you are too broken…too weak to love, Janie.

"H-How did you…" Jane let her words drift as she felt Richard's hands squeeze tighter on her shoulders.

After a long moment of nothing more than far off cars and the nightlife of Boston rumbling in the distance, Richard shifted his hands down to clasp onto Jane's hands, balled into fists.

"Communication. Courage. Love," he said running his thumbs across the scars. "That's how Constance and I made it work." Without another word, Richard pulled Jane into a hug pressing his lips briefly to her forehead. "I know my daughter. She's not anything if she isn't understanding and logical," he said laughing a bit. He pulled back and kept one arm slung around her shoulder as he moved forward urging her to begin walking again back toward the house. "Tell her," he said. "Let her show you how strong she really is."

[24213QDEC17]

[SUNDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2017 9:52 A.M.]

Jane never thought that she was one for bad timing. When her soldiers needed her in the field, she was there. When a criminal decided to evade Detective Korsak she was there. When Tommy found out his girlfriend was pregnant she, thousands of miles away had a gut instinct to call her little brother just to see how he was doing. She was the first he told and subsequently the first person to tell him that he would be okay and not to run away from his family. Her timing for most things was almost impeccable, but this time, there was not a single moment in which she could talk to her wife about something that she had finally steadied herself to broach.

When she got back home after her talk with Richard, she went to the guest bedroom to talk to her wife. The door was locked and after knocking for a bit, she sighed. Turning around she found her father-in-law right behind her. "Maybe give her a little space. Talk about it in the morning," he'd said. But the morning came and as Jane sat facing the room, her back against the wall, the person who came out of the room wasn't exactly the one she wanted to see.

"Jane," Constance gasped in surprise. "Did you sleep out here all night?"

"No," Jane said shakily rising to her feet. "Well, I've been here all night, but I wasn't sleeping. Is Maura okay?"

Constance considered her for a moment, before closing the door the rest of the way. "She's still asleep."

"Asleep?" Jane said anxiously pulling out her phone to check the time. "It's almost 10."

"She was quite upset last night."

"But we have to be at the church soon," she said as her phone started ringing. Jane took one glance, grimacing at the name before silencing it and sending the caller straight to voicemail. Constance watched her daughter-in-law. Never had she seemed this panicked, her hands shaking slightly and her neck turning a blotchy red. "I need to talk to her before—" The phone in her hand began to ring again and after a long moment of consideration, she answered just before the call timed out. "What's up, Frankie?" Constance could hear him talking loudly over the phone. Supposed to be here at…where the hell...he's freaking out, Jane…won't listen to me…you have to…

Jane paced the already pace-warned carpet, nodding and occasionally apologizing. Jane looked back to the closed room where her wife was alone and sighed again, her shoulders sinking. "Alright…I said alright, Frankie goddamn it…yeah…yes, alright. I'm on my way."

"Jane?"

"Yeah, I um," she turned back to Constance. "I have to go," she said painfully as if it was hurting her to leave the spot she'd been inhabiting for hours now. "Tommy's freaking out and Frankie's doesn't know what to do. I was supposed to be there a couple of hours ago, so…" she trailed off still staring at the grey paint of the guest bedroom door. "I gotta get down there. Will you tell Maura that I left to get ready for the wedding and to call me as soon as she wakes up?"

"Of course," she whispered.

"And that I love her. Can you tell her that, please?" Constance felt a sudden heaviness in her body at the expression on Jane's face. She nodded and that was good enough for Jane to take off up the stairs. Constance waited out in the hall until she heard Jane's footsteps thudding quickly down the stairs and out the door with her suit and shoes clutched to her chest. Constance let out a long breath as she turned back to the room and went inside.

"I'm sorry you had to do that."

Constance let her head fall back to the door and looked at her daughter sitting up in bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. "I hate lying to her."

The right corner of Maura's mouth turned up a little. "Me too. But I just didn't have the energy to deal with all this right now."

"She said she loves you," Constance said as she walked over to the bed and sat on the edge.

"I heard her," the doctor said. She relaxed her neck, letting her head fall to her knees. Tilting her head, Constance placed her hand on Maura's knee. "I mean, I know she does…" Maura trailed off at her mother's seemingly misplaced smile. "What?"

"You and I aren't very different, my dear."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, I wanted to tell you this last night, but you weren't up for talking," she nodded to her daughter. Maua took a deep breath and released it willing her body to relax. Her eyes were still tight and red rimmed, and she felt disorientated from everything that had happened until now. After she'd left the kitchen last night, she went into the room nearly collapsing on the bed before the tears started. A moment later when the door opened she was somewhat relieved that it was her mother, but also disappointed that it wasn't her wife. She was so confused, she wasn't sure what to feel. Her mother wrapped her up in her arms and they stayed that way until a few rejected phone calls and restlessness, agitated pacing outside the door roused them.

"We never told you this, but your father was in the Army for a bit before he was sent home."

Maura's spine straightened with an uncomfortable tingle. "Is he…did something happen to him?"

"Oh, don't worry. He only twisted his ankle," she said chuckling. Maura did not. "My point is that when he came home I was relieved in the most splendid way. I cannot imagine how you made it through three tours with Jane."

The doctor took a moment to consider this as she rubbed the comforter between two of her fingers and looked out the window. "It was so incredibly difficult, Mother. I was constantly worried and…I don't know. I don't know what to make of any of this anymore."

"Maura—"

"She lied to me mother. Or she at least wasn't completely honest."

"What do you think is Jane's finest attribute?" Untamed, blonde curls shifted as Maura turned to her mother, a little thrown off by the question.

"What?"

"What do you think Jane would say is the best part of herself?"

Maura thought for a moment, her arms coming to wrap around herself. "She would say her strength, definitely."

"And you? What would Jane say is your best attribute?"

Maura laughed for the first time in a while. "Probably my big brain as she likes to call it."

Constance laughed along, sliding her hand up and down her daughter's arm until she uncrossed them and reached for her hand. "Imagine your intelligence being questioned." Maura sat silently not quite seeing the point of all of this yet. "Imagine someone comes along and makes it their entire goal to discredit everything that you think and have done with your work. Somehow…" she said moving her hand through the air, "in a particularly violent, unhinged way."

"Well, that would never happen because I—"

"What if they stripped every bit of what you thought you knew of your own intelligence and succeeded at it. Just imagine, Maura." The doctor swallowed at the thought. Though her mother's analogy wasn't really landing for her, she closed her eyes for a second and tried to imagine. Her entire career coming down on her, because of one person, hellbent on ruining it for her. It would be devastating. "How would you deal with that?"

"I don't know." Constance didn't continue but waited for her daughter to open up more. "I suppose I would be angry and scared…maybe withdrawn."

Nodding her head, Maura's mother scooted a little closer. "From what I understand, Jane's pride is a big part of who she is. Which isn't always a bad thing, but then take her most prized attribute and destroy it." Maura could feel tears on the cusp of blurring her vision and she shook her head placing her hands over her face. "Hear me, sweetheart," she said with conviction matching the strength it took to pry her daughter's hands away from her wet eyes. "I am in no way saying that any of this is okay. But just for a second, think of what it means to be Jane right now. To have all of her strength, confidence…ripped away from her."

Maura sat with that, thinking that she could understand it better now. It wasn't like Jane's only attribute was her strength but just maybe, in Jane's mind it was the most important. She'd always depended on her wife to know what to say to make her feel safe or even protect her with her entire being. Maybe this was partially her fault for not telling her more often how strong she was in other ways.

"I…I think I understand what you're saying," Maura whispered.

"Again, I'm not saying that the lying…the secrets were okay, but maybe she thought there was no other way around it in order to protect you with whatever strength she had left." Maura cuddled closer to her mother, resting her head against her collarbone. She exhaled slowly and felt her mother's arms tighten around her. "Come on," Constance said sitting up a little. "We need to get you to the church. I'm sure the other bridesmaids are wondering where you are."

Indeed, they were and as Maura bumbled her way into the changing room, she had to brush off their concerns of her red eyes and puffy cheeks, instead complimenting Lydia on how beautiful she looked in her wedding dress and helped fix the crooked vail adorning her head.

On the other side of the church, Jane had finally convinced her brother to calm down enough for a walk out to the tent where the reception would be held. At first, they sat in relative silence, watching various family members setting up the chairs and add last minute touches to the decorations.

"What if I'm making a mistake?"

Jane didn't look at her brother as he spoke. Finally, she inhaled deeply and cleared her throat. "Do you really think that?" When he didn't answer she looked over to see the tail end of a shrug. "You love Lydia…and your little boy that she's about to have?"

"Of course, I do," he said harshly.

Jane nodded. "Well then what's really holding you back." He shrugged again. "Tommy."

"I don't know. I just…what if I'm not good enough?"

"What?"

"For them. What if I can't take care of them like they need or what if something happens and I don't know how to fix it? What if I'm not…enough?"

"Tommy, of course you're—"

"I mean I see how you and Maura are together. You guys just work so well together. If one of you don't know how to figure something out, then the other does. You guys just fit…or at least you used to. I don't know…I'm…I don't know."

Jane swallowed at the mention of Maura. "Thomas. Look at me." He did almost immediately, looking so much like when they were kids. Desperately hoping for his big sister to say something to bring him relief. "Marriage isn't supposed to be a contest. You don't go comparing yourself to other people. That's how you get lost. Marriage is supposed to be about love and mutual support. I have no doubt in my mind that you will take care of Lydia and your kid the way they need. I know I've kind of always treated you like a little kid…and I'm sorry." She reached up putting her hand on the back of his neck.

"S'okay, Jane," he said softly, looking away.

"No…no that wasn't cool. But I know now. You're a man, Tommy. A great one and your going to find your way. I know you are because you're smart and strong. You have all of us behind you and more importantly, you have Lydia. You're going to do right by her and your kid, but you have to remember that you've got Lydia, Tommy."

"Yeah…yeah I do," he said letting out a relieved breath.

"So, when things come up and you feel like you can't handle them, remember that you have someone that is going to promise today to take care of you and protect you just as much as you want to protect them. That's what marriage is about, little brother. Support should never be one-sided." She watched him take this in and as he leaned over to her she didn't hesitate in wrapping him in a hug. Frankie had always been like this, he needed her, but Tommy…well he was just like her in many ways. Always strong and fiercely, stubbornly independent. Having this moment with him made her heart melt and she held on tighter.

"Thanks, sis," he said.

She pulled back placing one hand on his cheek. "You've always got me, Young Thomas," she joked and was relieved when he laughed and gave her shoulder a jab. "Come on," she said standing and holding out her hand. "Let's get you married," she said shakily replaying the words that she had just told her brother…thinking about her own wife.