A/N: So here it is, at long last the M rating is in effect. It's been a long time coming my friends, and I hope I did the build up justice. So, without further ado. Here ya go, hope you enjoy.

Thanks for reading.

I own nothing, all rights and characters belong to Kripke and the CW.

Chapter 10

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

-Emily Bronte

After the service the following morning Castiel told Dean that he needed to go to the store and pick up a few things for their Christmas dinner. Dean offered to go with him, but Castiel told him that the store would be crowded seeing as it was the day before Christmas Eve and that they didn't really need anyone seeing them shopping together. Dean agreed with him easily enough and a few moments later Castiel was in his car and pulling out of the garage. He knew he only had a limited window of time to get the grocery shopping done and find Dean a gift before Dean would start to wonder what was taking him so long. He pulled into the grocery store parking lot and got out. Once he was through the door he was moving at top speed trying to remember everything he was supposed to get and cursing himself for not making a shopping list. He was glad that no one approached him to talk today. It seemed that everyone was in as much a hurry as he was. It was about a half an hour before he finished and made it out of the store, arms laden with plastic bags.

His next stop was at a small shop downtown. He'd thought of the perfect gift for Dean while he'd been preparing for his sermon this morning. Castiel drove a bit too fast on his way home from the store, the gift for Dean tucked away in a small box in his pocket. He really wasn't sure if Dean would even like it, but he thought it would be nice anyway. He arrived home to find Dean exactly where he'd left him on the sofa and sighed inwardly with relief when he didn't mention how long it had taken. Castiel got all of the groceries put away and settled down in his armchair with a book. He was content to spend the rest of the afternoon lounging around the house with Dean. It was several minutes after he'd sat down that Dean spoke. "So, what are we doing tomorrow, for Christmas Eve." he asked.

"Well, what does one usually do on Christmas Eve?" asked Castiel, who did not have much experience in that field.

"Well, I don't know about most people, but when I was younger we used to get new pajamas to wear for Christmas." said Dean.

"Pajamas?" asked Castiel.

"Yeah, it was a tradition. We were allowed to open one present on Christmas Eve and it was always a new pair of pajamas. I guess my Mom started the tradition after she got sick of me and Sam looking like who did it and ran for all of our Christmas pictures."

"I think that we should keep this time honored tradition alive." said Castiel.

"You're kidding me? I was only joking." replied Dean looking incredulous.

"Why, you don't want to relive your childhood by getting a new pair of pjs?" asked Castiel smiling.

"Doesn't that seem a bit lame?" asked Dean.

"Possibly, but I'm still getting you new pajamas."

"Ok, well, I'm getting you new pajamas too." Dean replied with a mischievous smirk.

"From that look I'm assuming they're going to be the most horrendous thing you can find."

"Horrendous doesn't even begin to cover it and since you insisted on doing it, you have to were em'"

"Alright," replied Castiel. "Just keep in mind; you have to wear what I get you."

"Fine." replied Dean looking less sure of himself than he had a moment ago.

"So it's settled, we spend Christmas Eve in ridiculous pajamas watching movies and eating cookies."

"That sounds awesome, especially the cookies part." said Dean.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it." replied Castiel.

The rest of their afternoon was spent amiably enough. They ended up getting bored with TV and playing Monopoly instead. Several hours later they packed the game up, wondering if it were actually possible to finish a game of Monopoly. Dean insisted that there was no way to win, you just keep playing and playing for eternity. Castiel laughed, saying that one day, they would finish a game and Dean just shook his head looking at him in disbelief. Castiel made them dinner and as they were eating, Dean nudged him and pointed out the window, looking delighted. It was snowing, large flakes drifting lazily past the kitchen window. They cleaned up after dinner and Dean promised that if there was enough snow tomorrow, they were having a snow ball fight.

It snowed steadily throughout the night and the following morning there was a foot of snow on the ground. Dean looked delighted and insisted they both shovel the driveway so they would be finished quicker. Castiel knew what he was planning and agreed, reluctantly, vowing to keep his guard up in case of an attack. They had been hard at work shoveling the wet, heavy snow and Castiel had just begun to relax, figuring that if Dean hadn't made his move yet, he probably wasn't going to. He was extraordinarily mistaken; Dean had merely been biding his time, waiting for Castiel's defenses to be lowered and when Castiel had a particularly heavy shovelful of snow he felt something collide with the small of his back. The dull thump of the impact was followed by Dean' gleeful peal of laughter. Castiel turned quickly and scooped up a handful of snow, grateful that it was wet and would stick together easily. He packed it together and lobbed it at Dean while he was still doubled over with laughter. It hit him square in the chest and he looked up in surprise while Castiel chuckled.

Dean dropped to his knee with a look of determination and started to rapidly make snowballs. Castiel realizing what he had started also began to assemble an arsenal of his own. In minutes they each had a small pile at their feet. They spent the next several minutes ducking and dodging snowballs and occasionally hitting one another. Castiel had never laughed so hard in his life, every time he hit Dean; he looked utterly scandalized, like each snowball had personally insulted him. When their ammunition had been exhausted and they were out of breath and covered in snow they went back to clearing the driveway.

By the time they had finished it was time for Castiel to get going to the church, as it was he was already going to be a little late. Dean saw him off in the driveway and turned to go back inside. Castiel made his way to the church, knowing that he still had a lot of work to do on his sermon. He worked steadily and it was soon time for the service. There was quite a large turn out because it was Christmas Eve and Castiel knew there would be even more people at the Christmas service. Just before the service begun Castiel realized that Christmas fell on a Tuesday and that if he wasn't called in to do anything, than he would have the whole day off. He wondered briefly how Dean would want to spend the day before he stepped up to the altar. He spotted Dean in the crowd and reminded himself to ask him later.

The service passed away quickly enough and a short time later Castiel and Dean were back in the driveway that had so recently seen a desperate battle of wills and snow. They kicked the snow off their shoes and got into the Impala. As he pulled out of the garage, Dean was adamantly insisting that he won the fight, but Castiel was certain that his aim had been far more accurate. This argument lasted until they pulled up to the only department store in Lawrence. They parted ways once inside the store and Castiel walked through the aisles, determined to find the most embarrassing pair of pajamas he could. As he searched he shuddered briefly at the thought of what Dean could possibly be picking out, but he knew he would just have to find something worse. He knew he had struck gold the moment he saw them. They were a pair of footie pajamas in a vibrant red with a pattern of grinning reindeer all over them and as if that weren't bad enough they were equipped with a hood with two large antlers protruding from the top. Castiel laughed out loud when he saw them, they were absolutely horrible and he knew they were perfect.

He met Dean at the front of the store and they checked out, both shielding their pjs from the other's view. They drove home, both trying to get a peek at what the other had bought, but with no luck. It was around noon when they got home and they decided to call it an early day and exchange their "gifts" earlier than they had planned. This was mostly due to the fact that both of them were itching to see the other in the ridiculous things they had picked out. They swapped their bags and each retreated into their rooms to try on their new pajamas.

Castiel stood by his bed, grabbed the bottom of the bag and dumped its contents onto the mattress. He laughed to himself and felt his cheeks redden as he stared down at the clothing on his bed. He held them up with a grimace. There was a long sleeved shirt and pants in a garish shade of pink there was a large picture of two polar bears kissing on the shirt and the pants were covered hundreds of tiny hearts, with mounting horror Castiel realized that they were meant for women. With much trepidation he put them on and had to chuckle at how absurd they looked. He was too tall for them so the bottoms ended above his ankles and the top sported a much too deep neckline for his taste. After he'd changed he hesitated for a moment before leaving his room and slowly making his way back to the living room. Dean wasn't out yet and Castiel waited nervously, just imagining how Dean would laugh when he caught sight of him.

It was another few minutes before Castiel heard the door to Dean's room open and then his soft footfalls on the stairs. A second later he appeared at the bottom of the stairs and Castiel couldn't help the guffaw that erupted out of him and Dean couldn't help it either apparently, for he was also cackling at the sight of the pink girly thing he was wearing. After several minutes when they could breathe again Dean spoke. "That is the funniest thing I've ever seen." he said still gasping.

"Yeah, well at least I don't have antlers." replied Castiel.

"Dude, you look like a girl."

"I should have known you'd do something like this." said Castiel grumpily.

"Aw, c'mon, don't be mad, you look adorable."

Castiel blushed and looked away. "I'm going to bake some cookies." he said looking for an excuse to get out of there.

"Yeah, and you keep saying you're not a girl." Dean said with a smirk.

Castiel stalked into the kitchen without a backward glance, not bothering to respond to what Dean had said. He had been in the kitchen for a few minutes and was busy mixing cookie batter when he heard footsteps behind him. He refused to look around and continued mixing the batter. He was rolling the dough out on the counter when he felt rather than heard something move behind him. He felt a warm hand on his back and a shudder ran through him.

"Hey, Cas." Dean said from behind him. "You still mad?"

Castiel's heart beat increased and he felt a rush of heat course him as Dean began rubbing circles into his back with his thumb. Castiel's mouth felt dry as he spoke. "No, Dean, I'm not mad."

"Good." replied Dean softly, not taking his hand off of Castiel's back. "Need any help?"

"No," replied Castiel a tremor evident in his voice. "I think I can manage."

"Okay," Dean said. "I'll be in the living room if you need me."

"Thank you."

Dean's hand lingered for another moment, then it was gone and Castiel heard Dean walking out of the room. He let out the breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding and went back to rolling the dough, his mind reeling. He finished making the cookies and put them in the oven, a thousand thoughts going through his head. He pushed them away, not willing to deal with them at the moment, or what they meant. He waited in the kitchen while the cookies baked, unwilling to be alone in the same room with Dean at the moment. When the oven timer sounded, Castiel jumped. He knew he'd have to face Dean eventually and he figured that now was probably the best time, so he piled a plate full of cookies and ventured into the living room.

Dean was sitting in his usual place on the sofa and Castiel noticed as he walked into the room, that he had lit a fire. He set the plate onto the coffee table and settled himself onto to the sofa, a little further away from Dean than he ordinarily would have. Dean seemed utterly unperturbed and reached for a cookie the moment the plate touched the table, munching happily on it as he watched what appeared to be Rudolf on TV. Castiel sighed with relief, glad that Dean had said nothing about what had happened between them, if anything had happened at all, Castiel still wasn't entirely sure about that.

They worked their way through the entire plate of cookies and by the time Elf was over Castiel had relaxed into the sofa and was sitting much more comfortably and closer to Dean. They decided it was time for lunch and they reluctantly dragged themselves off the sofa and into the kitchen. Castiel made them some sandwiches while Dean leaned against the counter offering to help and more in the way than anything else. When they'd sat down to eat Dean looked up from his sandwich and grinned at Castiel.

"What are you grinning at?" asked Castiel.

"Oh nothing," replied Dean. "It's just that tomorrow's Christmas."

"Are you excited about it?"

"Maybe I am."

"Well, so am I" Castiel said smiling.

"What are we gonna do tomorrow?"

"Well, I don't have a sermon to give, so that means I'll be here all day. We could have dinner, maybe go out if you'd like."

"Nah, we should stay in all day." Dean said.

"What is this? I thought you liked going out."

"Looks like you've turned me into a homebody, probably because it's been so long since I've had an actual home. I'm getting some time in while I still can."

"What do you mean, while you still can?" asked Castiel.

"Well, I mean, this can't last forever, you know. One of these days I'll get a call and that will be it." Dean said, sounding bitter.

"So, when you get this call, you'll just go?"

"I have no choice."

"Oh, don't give me that line again." said Castiel, frustrated. "You always have a choice."

"That's easy for you to say, but you don't have family. You don't know how hard it is not knowing if they'll be safe, if they'll end up dead because of me."

"How do you know that I don't have family?" asked Castiel, outraged.

"Do you?" asked Dean.

"Now you ask, funny it never seemed to occur to you before, did it?"

"You didn't answer my question." Dean said.

"Yes, I have family. I have a Mother, a Father, I had a sister."

"You had a sister?"

"She died." replied Castiel shortly.

"Jesus Cas, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"That's because you didn't care to know."

"That's not true. You really think I don't care?" asked Dean.

"Do you?" asked Castiel mirroring Dean' earlier question.

"Yes, I do." replied Dean fiercely. "I care Cas, a whole hell of a lot more than I should, but I do. I tried not to, it'll only make it harder, but I couldn't help it. I care so much; I think it'll kill me to leave."

"Then don't"

"Do you even know what you're asking me?" Dean asked.

"I'm asking you to stay."

Dean turned away an anguished look on his face. When he turned back he looked calm and unaffected. "It's not like it's gonna happen tomorrow, so can we just forget about it please?"

"I need to know, when that call comes will you stay?" asked Castiel.

"I don't know, alright, I don't know. What do you want me to say, huh? That I'll stay forever and ever and everything will be rainbows and butterflies. Well, I can't tell you that because that's not life. Life is shit and that's all it's ever gonna be."

Dean stormed out of the kitchen and disappeared up the stairs. He emerged a few minutes later, fully dressed and headed for the door. "I need a drink." was all he said before he slammed the door behind him.

Castiel cleaned up after lunch and went back into the living room. He shut the TV off and settled into his armchair with a book, trying to distract himself. He tried to focus on the words before him, but he couldn't stop replaying what Dean had said over and over in his mind. He gave up trying to read a half an hour later and just sat by the window, waiting for Dean to come home. He waited for hours, the sun set and the room grew unbearably cold around him, the fire had gone out hours before and Dean still wasn't back. So Castiel kept waiting, he considered getting up to make himself some dinner, but knew it was pointless, he had no appetite, the anxiety he felt was twisting his stomach into unpleasant shapes. At ten he started to feel real fear. He became certain that Dean had left, gone for good and he would never see him again. When the clock struck midnight, something in him seemed to crumble. Any hope he'd been clinging to of Dean coming back, vanished. He dragged himself up the stairs and collapsed into bed. "Merry Christmas." he whispered to the empty room.

Castiel awoke earlier than he usually would on a Tuesday. He dressed quickly, feeling a pang of misery as he stepped out of his pink pajamas. He hurried out onto the landing and peered into Dean's room. The door was open and Castiel could see that it was empty, the bed had not been slept in and lying in a heap on the floor was a pair of fluffy reindeer pajamas. Castiel turned from the room feeling the dead weight of disappointment settle over him. He walked down the stairs and wandered into the living room. He dropped into his armchair, no longer waiting for Dean, but not knowing what else to do. He sat in silence and the cheerfully decorated tree seemed to mock him from across the room. He should have known it would end like this that something so good could never last, but he had hoped.

He'd been sitting, lost in thought for over an hour when there was a knock at the door. Castiel leapt to his feet and was wrenching the door open a second later. The crushing disappointment came flooding back when he realized that it was Gabriel at the door. He should have known Dean never would have knocked. "Hello, Gabriel." he said dispassionately.

"Merry Christmas, Castiel." Gabriel said cheerfully.

"Merry Christmas." replied Castiel. "Would you like to come in?"

"I wish I could, but I'm in a bit of a hurry." Gabriel said. "I just wanted to stop by and give you this."

Gabriel held out a bottle of wine which Castiel had not been aware he was holding. He took it from him, trying to work his features into something resembling a smile. "Thank you." he said. "This is very kind of you, you didn't have to."

"It's no trouble. I thought you two might enjoy it."

"Yes," replied Castiel, the words tasting bitter on his tongue. "I'm sure that we will."

"Well, I'd better be off. I'll see you later, Castiel. Wish Dean a Merry Christmas for me, will you?"

"I will, goodbye, Gabriel."

Castiel closed the door and walked into the kitchen. He set the bottle down on the counter and sat down at the table with his head in his hands. He didn't know how long he sat like that before he heard another knock at the door. He got up, thinking Gabriel had come back. He opened the door and saw Dean standing there looking tired.

"Dean." said Castiel surprised.

"Hey, Cas." said Dean.

"I thought you'd gone."

"Nah, I'm still kicking around."

"Do you want to come in?" asked Castiel.

"Only if you want me to." replied Dean.

"Of course I want you to." said Castiel stepping back and letting Dean enter.

"Thanks." said Dean turning to face him. "Listen Cas, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I was out of line and I shouldn't have said what I did."

"Don't be sorry, Dean. You told me the truth and that's all I ever want, even if it's not something I want to hear."

"Okay." said Dean. "Hey, Cas."

"Yes, Dean?"

"Merry Christmas."

Castiel smiled, "Merry Christmas." he replied.

"So, uh…" Dean began. "What do you want to do?"

"I suppose I should start cooking, I was going to start earlier, but…"

"Screw that, man." said Dean cutting him off. "It's Christmas, you shouldn't have to cook. Let's just order some Chinese and watch some TV."

"Alright." replied Castiel.

Dean ordered them an obscene amount of food and when they sat down to eat he noticed the bottle of wine on the counter.

"Gabriel dropped it off earlier." said Castiel following Dean' eyes to the counter. "He says Merry Christmas, by the way."

"Really? That was nice of him."

They finished eating and Dean asked Castiel if he wanted a drink. Castiel hesitated for a moment, but agreed after Dean reminded him that it was Christmas and they should be celebrating. Dean lit a fire and they sat on the sofa together, drinking their wine. The TV was off and the room was silent, but for the crackling of the flames. They drank and made idle conversation for a while. They were halfway through the bottle of wine when Dean leaned toward Castiel and spoke.

"Hey Cas, can I ask you something? And you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"What is it?" asked Castiel.

"What happened to your sister?"

It took Castiel a moment to gather his thoughts; this is not what he had been expecting. "She was murdered." he said quietly.

"Jesus man, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it was a long time ago." said Castiel. "Her name was Anna. She was younger than me, and I adored her. I never had a lot of friends growing up, she was all I had. Our parents weren't always there; they worked a lot, so it was always just her and me. It was the summer of 95' I was eighteen and had just graduated high school. She wanted to go to her friend's house, just down the street. Usually I would walk her there nearly every day, but on this particular day, I couldn't. I was late for work and I didn't have time to take her. She asked me if she could walk there by herself. I should have said no, but she begged me. I thought, what's the harm, she's a teenager and it's right down the street, she'll be fine. So, I let her go. I never saw her again."

Castiel paused for a moment, his eyes stinging from unshed tears. He felt a hand settle comfortingly over his own and he looked up to see Dean staring at him, concern written all over his face. Castiel sighed heavily before continuing. "She was officially missing for a week before they found her body. She was in a ditch a few blocks from our house; she had been raped and stabbed four times. They never found the person who did it. The worst thing about it wasn't how my parents never forgave me, how they hated me, it how I imagined her, terrified and in pain calling my name, screaming for help and how I wasn't there. I should have been there."

Castiel let his tears fall freely now and he held Dean's hand tightly in his own. "After that I left home, I couldn't bear the way my parents looked at me. I knew they wished it had been me and to be honest, so did I. I had nowhere to go; I was living on the streets. It was the middle of winter and I had broken into the church to sleep and when I woke up, there a man kneeling beside me. I think he thought that I had died. He asked me why I was there and so I told him. Then he said to me that there weren't many options for people in my situation. He said that many either turned to crime or to the church. That was the day I decided to become a priest. All these years I've tried to help people, to do the right thing so that maybe one day I'll be forgiven."

"It wasn't your fault, Cas." Dean said gripping his hand tighter. "You have to believe that."

Castiel just smiled sadly. "I think over the years I've come to terms with what happened, but that will never change the guilt I feel. I want you to know that I understand why you have to go. You're protecting your family; you're doing what I couldn't."

"I'm not going anywhere." Dean said firmly.

"What?" asked Castiel, wondering if the wine was fogging his brain.

"I said I'm not leaving. I don't give a damn what happens, or what they say. I promise you, I'm staying, for as long as you want me."

Castiel looked into Dean's eyes and saw nothing but truth there. "I'll always want you." he said sincerely.

Dean reached out and gently laid his hand on Castiel's face, stroking his cheek gently. Castiel felt something tighten in his chest and his breathing quickened. Dean was so close he could count every freckle that dotted his face.

"Do you mean that?" asked Dean so quietly that Castiel could hardly hear him.

"Yes." murmured Castiel.

Dean leaned closer, their breaths mingling and a moment later his lips were pressed gently to his own. Castiel felt a moment of confusion and panic as Dean kissed him. He didn't know if it was the wine, or the tumultuous emotions coursing through him, but he reached up and laid a hand on Dean' chest. Dean deepened the kiss, tangling his hand in Castiel's hair. Castiel clutched at the fabric of Dean' shirt and pulled him closer, parting his lips and letting Dean' tongue explore his mouth. Dean pulled back a moment later.

"I'm sorry." he said. "I shouldn't have."

"It's alright, I want this, I want you."

Dean stood and held out his hand for Castiel, who took it. He led him up the stairs and into Castiel's bedroom. He pulled him close kissing him again. Castiel knew he should stop it, knew that it was wrong, but he didn't care. And when Dean began taking his clothes off, he let him. He felt a slight pang of doubt when Dean pulled off his collar and tossed it aside, but it was soon replaced with desire when Dean started unbuttoning his shirt. Castiel reached for Dean's shirt, wanting nothing more than to feel his skin under his palms. Dean removed Castiel's shirt, then lifted his arms as Castiel pulled his shirt off and tossed across the room.

Castiel ran his hands along the newly exposed skin of Dean's chest. Dean pulled him close, kissing him again, their bare chests pressed together, Dean's hands sliding up his back. It was almost more than Castiel could bear, but he wanted more, needed more. Dean reached for the button on Castiel's pants and Castiel reached for Dean's belt. There was no going back now and that was fine with him. Their pants were discarded in a heap a moment later. Dean rested his hands on Castiel's hips and leaned in, not kissing him, but gently brushing Castiel's lips with his own. Dean's arms circled his waist, pulling them together, Castiel could feel the hot weight of Dean's erection against his hip.

He loved the feeling of Dean' arms wrapped around him so tightly, loved the feeling of their bodies, so close, with nothing in between them, just skin. Dean gently laid Castiel down on the bed, covering his body with his own. He kissed him, soft and slow as he slipped a hand between Castiel's legs, running a palm over the bulge straining at his boxers. Castiel groaned and thrust up into the touch. Dean's touch became firmer, he stroked him through the thin fabric until Castiel was painfully hard and gasping with every breath. Dean's hand slid up to the waistband of Castiel's boxers, he tugged them down Castiel's hips, a groan escaping him as his the cool air met his heated flesh. A moment later Castiel felt Dean move away, heard him walk across the room.

"Dean?"

Castiel heard the rustle of clothing before Dean was climbing back on the bed, mattress dipping under his weight. His hands slid up Castiel's thighs before he spoke. "I'm here. I was just getting something."

"What?"

"You'll see."

Castiel heard the sound of plastic tearing and a moment later he felt a hand slip between his legs, cool, lube-slicked fingers stroking his hole. Castiel gasped and canted his hips into the touch. Dean's finger circled his entrance before gently pushing in, Castiel groaned, gripping the sheets beneath him. Dean worked his finger inside for a moment, then added another. He kissed Castiel's inner thigh as he scissored his fingers, making Castiel writhe and moan. Dean added a third finger and sucked a bruise into Castiel's thigh as pumped them in and out. Dean's fingers brushed Castiel's prostate and he arched his back, crying out.

"Dean" Castiel moaned. "I need…"

"Shhhh." whispered Dean. "I've got you." Dean slipped his fingers out of Castiel and yanked off his boxers, groaning when his cock bobbed free, hard and leaking precome. Dean grabbed the half empty packet of lube that had been in his wallet for quite some time (just in case.) He slicked up his cock with the rest of the lube and moved back up the bed, trailing kisses up Castiel's stomach as he did. Their lips met, hot and wet and messy, Dean knelt between Castiel's legs, cock nudging at Castiel's entrance.

Castiel groaned. "Dean please," he gasped. "I want you, I need you, please."

It was all Dean needed to hear and he trailed his tongue down Castiel's neck as he gently pushed inside. Castiel's breath hitched as Dean bottomed out, he felt stretched and full and so good. Dean canted his hips and thrust into him gently. Dean buried his face in Castiel's neck. "Oh Cas, you feel so good."

"Dean, please."

"I know." Dean whispered into Castiel's heated skin. "I know." Dean began thrusting into Castiel, harder than before, cock slipping in and out of that tight heat. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, burying his fingers in his hair as Dean rocked into him. Castiel felt like his skin was on fire, like there was an electric current running through him and every time Dean thrust into him, every time his lips brushed his shoulder, he felt it tingle to his bones. Dean's breathe quickened and he shifted the angle of his hips, his cock now hitting Castiel's prostate with every thrust. Castiel's bucked upwards into Dean with a loud moan.

Castiel had never felt anything like it in his life, nothing compared to the feeling of Dean inside him, sweat-slicked skin sliding against his own. He never wanted it to end. Dean's pace quickened as he reached between them and wrapped his hand around Castiel's leaking cock. Castiel moaned, gripping Dean's shoulder hard enough to leave a bruise. Dean fucked into him hard, stroking his cock and it was almost too much for him to bear, he was so close, he could feel his orgasm building. Dean's hand moved faster and the rhythm of his hips became erratic. He brushed his lips against Castiel's ear.

"Come for me Cas." he whispered voice rough and hoarse. Dean's words sent a hot pulse of pleasure through him and with another thrust of Dean's hips he was coming, hard, all over their stomachs and Dean's fist. He moaned and felt Dean thrust twice more, slamming into him and filling him, hot and wet.

Dean collapsed on top of him, breathing hard. It was several more minutes before he had the energy to slip out of Castiel and roll over. He reached over the side of the bed and grabbed his t-shirt, which he used to clean them up before he tossed the soiled garment away. He pulled Castiel to him and covered them with blankets. Dean held him close and kissed him tenderly and Castiel, for the first time in so many years, felt whole. The empty spaces in his heart were filling up and he felt so alive.

Lying in Deans's arms, while they both drifted off, he knew that he had never felt true peace until now. And like all good things he knew it couldn't last.