REMAINS OF CERSEI LANNISTER DISCOVERED
Several weeks ago a mass grave site was discovered in Dwellers Hollow, a large area within the forest that surrounds King's Landing. The body count continues to rise at an astonishing rate, however, some identities have started to be learned. Cersei Lannsiter being one of them. She vanished from the Peace Vale Centre, a Dornish treatment facility for mental health in Sunspear, without a trace a little over three years ago. Local law enforcement found no trace of the former Lion and Stag Vice President and regrettably her missing persons case was never solved. Now though it appears her story was far more tragic and resulted in execution that -
Petyr sighed as he read his morning paper, they'd all known it wouldn't be long until they figured out Cersei had been found and his contacts had informed him not to long ago that DI Heyerdahl was on the warpath regarding it. Most of the people Petyr had buried in Dwellers Hollow were unimportant in the eyes of most people, sex workers, homeless kids, tweaked out twinkies, but Cersei provided the press with the perfect opportunity for a field day. In their eyes she was the big ticket item.
He knew he was going to have to put up with the media parading his clean ups all over the front page but he'd not expected it to be so irritating. Newspapers always got things wrong but Petyr suspected the police had been feeding them snippets of information in an attempt to goad the perpetrator into revealing himself to correct them; Petyr Baelish wasn't that stupid. He'd put up with so much, was so patient and this fiasco wouldn't be any different.
Petyr picked up his coffee cup and took a much needed sip, he couldn't ever really keep his eyes open until his morning coffee; dark and sweet. Suddenly he glanced up and realised he was still stood in front of Gwendolyn's desk with her gazing up at him rather than at home in peace.
"Sir?"
"Hmm? Oh yes, such a tragedy." He breathed as he folded the paper under his arm and continued to sip his coffee. "At least Jaime and her children will now find some closure."
That's right, Petyr, make good little Gwendolyn think you give a shit. Gwendolyn was smarter than most people he'd given her credit for but that didn't mean she was on Petyr's level, he could manipulate her whenever he wanted, even in his half-asleep state. She grinned at him as she grabbed a few files and offered them up.
"These need your signature, Sir, and Mister Brune needs to push your meeting with him to be pushed to three instead of noon."
Petyr huffed unsurprised. "Gwendolyn, please inform my CTO that he doesn't make the rules and that if he's not in that conference room by twelve on the dot I'm going to hand him his balls." Said Petyr sweetly; a tone his assistant knew was dangerous.
"In the conference room by noon or end up ball-less. Got it. Anything else I can do for you, Sir?"
Petyr shook his head as he finished his coffee. "No, that will be all, thank you. After seeing this-" he loosely gestured to the newspaper "- I have a phone call to make."
With that he wandered off into his office and Gwendolyn rested her head on her fist. That man was a riddle inside and enigma wrapped up in an Armani suit, she'd seen him in a Kiton K-50 the previous week and nearly dropped her jaw. Most at Lion and Stag had bespoke suits but Petyr Baelish always pushed the boat out, always looked so put together and sophisticated. All the money he spent on suits and yet he never appeared ostentatious. Damn, if Alayne hadn't managed to snap him up Gwendolyn would have... maybe... if she'd ever gotten the courage to... and wasn't married with a son.
Meanwhile Petyr fell down into the white leather Barcelona chair by the wall of windows and stared down at the headline again.
REMAINS OF CERSEI LANNISTER DISCOVERED
He hoped Sansa hadn't seen the paper yet, then again it was twenty to nine, she'd be feeding Tristan and Poppy. Littlefinger had hoped his darling Sansa wouldn't ever hear the name Cersei Lannister again but with his dump site being found thanks to a cocksucker Petyr hadn't managed to track down, his girl would have to survive the constant splash of Cersei's name. The blonde lioness had caused Sansa so much pain and suffering but Petyr remembered, he remembered after Cersei had murdered the Stark's and burnt their home to the ground.
x
The sun had just started to rise as Petyr Baelish stepped out of his car and made his way up the gravel driveway to what remained of the Stark house. Barely a third of the building remained standing, nothing but rubble and dust remained where once their had been a loving home. His shoes became smudged with ash as he walked through the debris but he cared not... Catelyn was gone.
On the outside he looked calm and collected but on the inside he couldn't breath, could hardly think. Catelyn was gone. Smoke still rose from burnt timbers and ash lingered in the air intent on choking him.
"I'm sorry, Cat. I wasn't fast enough." He told the rubble. "Tyrion answered the goddamn phone and listened but you just had to hang up on me."
Ned hadn't answered his cellphone despite the dozen or so calls Petyr had made while at the airport with Tyrion which had forced him to call Cat, 'send the kids to Lysa or Edmure' he'd wanted to say, frankly Edmure would have been better since Riverrun was further away. Catelyn hadn't listened though, something about Petyr always getting people into trouble. Three hours later every single Stark was dead.
Petyr brushed bits of broken brick out the way with his foot and soot rose up in a tiny cloud. The man with ash at his temples assumed he was somewhere in what had once been the living room, broken glass from destroyed pictures littered the ground as did bits of singed fabric that had once been pillows. Cat had taken such pride in her home and now Petyr stood in its tattered remains.
Cersei had sent him to make sure her idiot goons hadn't left evidence lingering about and as far as the cleaner could tell they'd not. They had, however, left the burnt remains of the Stark family massacred and dumped in the foyer. Petyr prided himself on never been squeamish or easily skittish but seeing them there on their stomachs and backs had given him pause. Pools of burnt blood and the stench of flesh, the police had taken the bodies but not the smell. Petyr Baelish was many things but he'd never have killed a child and especially not how Cersei had ordered. Rickon had only been three, hardly out of infancy.
Suddenly Petyr kicked something and it skidded across the burnt foundation where it rattled against the shattered glass and dusty wooden splinters. Green orbs flashed down to see something that had once been white but now was signed and dusted in black. Carefully he crouched down in his Gucci suit to retrieve what he now saw was a photo album, Petyr blew some of the mess off the cover then flipped the pages open. Most of it was crispy looking pictures of Cat, Lysa and Edmure as kinds or her and Ned but every now and again he saw his own face amongst the memories. The middle though was where he found the kids, Cat had always forced Petyr into a picture of him holding the newest of her children. Sansa had always been his favourite, she'd been such a quiet and well behaved baby, a total one-eighty from the horror also known as Arya.
x
Petyr couldn't sit there remembering like a mourning schoolgirl, he had things to do. Baelish took a deep breath and let his head tilt back as he dumped the paper on the glass table. From his pocket came his cellphone and after a second or two to punch in numbers he pressed it to his ear and let it ring.
"Don't 'Morning Petyr' me. Why in Seven Hells am I reading about Cersei fucking Lannister being found in a bloody newspaper rather than being told by you? You're my informant and yet you haven't been very informative." There was bickering on the other the end of the line and the sound of a soda can popping open. "That doesn't change anything, I need to know these things so as I can plan for any consequences."
A knock on the door sounded and green eyes glanced over as Gwendolyn cautiously leaned in through the doorway.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but she's starting to make a scene and-"
Petyr's assistant was cut off abruptly then when Lysa barged past her and into his office. Baelish's eye twitched.
"Petyr, I need to speak to you, darling."
"Yeah, it's Lysa." He told the voice on the phone. "And yes, I think I need all the luck I can get."
~X~
Oren Heyerdahl burst with rage, his eye twitched with irritation. How the discovery of Cersei Lannister's body had gotten leaked to the press he had no idea, everyone knew he'd rip their damn heads off if they even thought about it. Has to be someone from Forensics, they're all a bunch of penny-pinching assholes. Oren growled to himself as he paced around Larroquette's desk like a tiger stalking its prey with a deep frown in his aged face. Sebastian was about two seconds from smashing his head against his desk; Christ he needed a drink.
"I knew those cockroaches would fuck this case up!"
Frankly Sebastian felt like he was being circled by sharks. He did his best not to roll his eyes and sigh. The rest of the office had backed off from Heyerdahl fearing for their lives and rightly so; when he was like this the man was erratic and that was a dangerous thing.
"It's unfortunate yes, Heyerdahl, but it would have happened sooner or later." Larroquette tried to explain. "This is Cersei Lannister we're talking about, her death is the biggest news King's Landing has had since the whole Lion and Stag thing."
"Have you noticed that when a fuck ton of deaths happen it's always around that fucking company?!" Oren growled as he continued to pace. "Bet it was Voltaire. That fucker knows everything about the Dwellers Hollow sight."
Sebastian's first reaction was to launch at the asshole and pound his face into the nearest filing cabinet – no one threatened his boyfriend, because that was what it was, a threat. He controlled himself, knew full well that Heyerdahl would get himself killed soon enough. The dark-haired man took a calming breath.
"Jefferson wouldn't ever put more stress on this investigative and he certainly wouldn't leak anything to the press. He's a good medical examiner-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. You're cock warmer can't do any wrong." Oren grumbled dismissively.
Sebastian's hands clenched into fists for a moment before he forced himself to relax and leant back in his desk chair.
"If you like I'll have an internal investigation launched into tracking down who it was-"
Oren cut Larroquette off for the second time. "Balls to that. It'll just take up yet more fucking manpower we don't bloody have. You want to do something goddamn useful? Figure out how Cersei Lannister got back into King's Landing without any asshole noticing."
With that the DI stormed off into his office and slammed the door so hard that the sound echoed in Larroquette's ears. It was then that people started to reappear in the station.
"Bloody cowards." The Detective Sergeant muttered to himself.
He was very good at his job, should have been promoted years ago but, of course, Heyerdahl had dealt with that. He had basically solved their last three cases and each time Heyerdahl had soaked up all the fucking glory then chucked Larroquette back into the pit of homophobic hatred. He'd have raised it with the board, you know, if that gave a shit.
With a sigh Sebastian reached into his pocket and took out his phone then straightened his waistcoat as he dialled. He very quickly came to the conclusion that Jefferson must have been finishing up an autopsy because it was the only reason it ever took him so long to answer the phone.
"Yeah, what's up Sebby?" Ooh, Jefferson was feeling particularly brave it seemed; he was the only man who could get away with calling him that. "You alright? It's ten in the morning, bit early for lunch."
Sebastian sighed. "You might want to watch out, Heyerdahl is on the warpath." Jefferson groaned. "He's blaming forensics and you for the press leak."
"Fuck. Why is that asshole always blaming me for shit?"
Sebastian breathed out a quiet laugh. "You really want me to answer that?"
He reached into his desk then and pulled out a bag of peanut M&Ms that decided to be a bit of a hassle to open.
"Put the damn candy down, Seb. You eat way too much off it and I don't want you getting fat. That ass of yours is perfect, don't go making me have to look for a new man."
"Baby boy, as long as I've got a mouth you're not going anywhere and you know it."
There was a pause then where Seb finally gotten into the bag and shoved his hand in.
"I can hear you." Jefferson teased; it was amazing at how quickly a small conversation with the medical examiner could drain away all his irritations. "I take it this is going to be a 'Jefferson, baby, I need to take you to lunch because if I don't get out of this office soon Heyerdahl is a dead man' day."
"Gods, yes." Seb said as he tossed some of the candy into his mouth.
"Dude, stop with the candy!"
"Can't, I have a problem." The DS chuckled lightly.
"And don't I know it. You're only having salad at lunch." There was an almighty crash then and a string of obscene language followed by the sound of Jefferson dropping down into a chair. "Sorry, my new forensic photographer is a twat. That's the third tray she's knocked over today."
Sebastian looked down to his watch. "It's literally ten-twenty-three."
"Yeah, wish me luck because I'm going to need it."
Sebastian shrugged. "If you kill her you know which man to call."
Jefferson just laughed at that. "Look, I've got a boat load of autopsies to do today and I can't take my eyes off the new girl so I need to love you and leave you."
"See you later. Usual place?"
"Uh-huh, sounds good. See you later." A momentary pause, hardly there. "And put the fucking candy down."
Jefferson hung up then and Sebastian tucked his phone back into his pocket and let his head fall down onto his desk with a sigh. Why did shit have to be so complicated?
"Larroquette! Shouldn't you be doing something fucking productive?!" Heyerdahl yelled as he stormed back out of his office this time with his coat on. "Practice your deep-throating later."
He was going to kill him. Yeah, Sebastian was going to kill him or he was going to fucking enjoy watching it.