Try to read into what I am doing here guys. I know some of you are getting it. Remember that I bury things quite deep, unlike the show now. This is a real relationship, with real problems. There is no good one or bad one. I have taken a real risk with Damon's transformation here and wasn't sure how you would respond but it's writing itself that way. It'll change a huge dynamic in their relationship and I just had to see what it would do! This is an experiment more so than anything.

Xx

Chapter 10 TH

"Damon." Stefan whispered as he stared at Vida, trickles of a fluid leaking from the sides of her mouth as she suckled on Damon.

Damon looked at him dazed and gave a small smile of relief. He almost looked stoned.

"Stefan, give him a minute." Nathan said cautiously and Stefan turned to look at him, his eyes narrowing as the urge to kill him began to fade. "She needs him."

Stefan turned back to look at Damon again.

"What's happening?" He croaked and moved slowly towards them, his two loves.

Damon seemed oblivious to anything but Vida. Stefan reached them and got on his knees again. Vida opened her eyes for a second and saw him, then closed them peacefully again. Stefan reached out and touched Damon's shoulder. Damon looked to him, dazed still.

"Is she feeding?" He asked and Damon gave a slight frown of confusion. "Damon?"

Are you breastfeeding?

Damon's eyes widened as he heard Stefan channel and he looked down at his daughter again, as though understanding for the first time what was happening. He frowned again and tilted her away from his chest, separating her mouth for the food source. She opened her eyes and began to cry, her eyes tingling. Stefan reached down and touched Damon's chest, tracing his finger in the fluid seemingly coming from both nipples. Damon touched his free nipple too and made a sound of fear.

Stefan tasted the fluid and gave a moan of satisfaction. It was the same fluid Damon had produced before but this time it tasted unbelievable. Damon made a sound of fear again and Stefan cupped his jaw and made him look at him.

It's for her. Love. Family.

Stefan channelled and Damon blinked. Vida began to kick her legs and wail and Damon looked down at her face again. He tilted her back towards him and lifted her chin to get at his chest again. She latched on and began drinking once more.

"Is that..?" Nathan spoke nervously as he stood beside Stefan.

Stefan nodded.

"She wouldn't eat. She…She kept trying to tell me she was hungry." Nathan stared in awe as Vida curled into towards Damon's body wholeheartedly and fed.

Stefan shook his head and gave out a small chuckle. Nathan squeezed his shoulder in concern.

"All this time. All this time she was telling us." Stefan rubbed his face as he chuckled deliriously.

"Stefan…"

"She was starving because she needed him, what's coming out of him!" Stefan exhaled and Nathan looked to Damon again.

"Stefan?" Damon spoke and Stefan looked to him again, seeing a glimmer of recognition once more.

"I'm here." Stefan whispered and brought their faces together, setting his nose aside Damon's.

"I'm scared." Damon croaked and Stefan pulled back to cup his chin again.

"It's ok my black haired one. You're body needs this too. It's been changing for her. " He consoled "I just don't know why."

"Uh, Stefan." Nathan said full of discomfort and Stefan looked back at him. "I think I get what's happening."

"What?" Stefan asked desperately.

"I know about you two, you know – your soul. The mates told me. They thought I had to know to realise how to protect you during the fight."

Stefan frowned in surprise.

"If you two share a soul and he's rutting and you're not in heat anymore…maybe, that's what wrong." He swallowed down embarrassment.

"I don't understand." Stefan shook his head.

"You're not in heat anymore are you?"

"No."

"Maybe that's the problem." Nathan gave a small shrug and blushed.

Stefan looked to the ground as he processed that. They shared a soul. When Klaus had driven a compulsion wedge between them, their soul had split, but this was different. Neither of them were dying. Their bodies – well Damon's anyway, were changing again and they were out of sync.

"The heat and rut should coincide Stefan." Nathan added.

"But…" Stefan paused as Damon exhaled slowly again and scented Vida's head tenderly. "My heat won't happen again for months."

"I guess." Nathan said.

"You guess?!" Stefan snapped angrily. "So what are you telling me here? That Damon's going to stay this way until my next heat?"

Nathan exhaled and scratched his head.

Damon grunted and indicated to Stefan he wanted to stand and Stefan stood up and helped him. Vida was still feeding hungrily and no wonder. For days she'd been starving, desperately trying to tell them all that she needed only what Damon could give her. Why had this happened? Stefan guided Damon back into the hut and Damon sat back against the headboard of the bed and cradled their still, feeding daughter. Stefan watched for a few minutes in a daze. This was the craziest thing he'd ever seen. A man breastfeeding. He shook his head and frowned. He supposed it wasn't that far off feeding Vida blood from his neck, but still. If anyone should have evolved to do that, shouldn't it be him? He did birth her after all.

He exhaled and closed the door again, sitting out on the step and looking towards Nathan.

"Why?" He asked and Nathan came and sat down next to him.

"With you guys the weirdest stuff happens." Nathan commented and Stefan nodded.

"I don't get it. Any of it and his thoughts don't make sense."

"All I know, is that she was screaming for him and she was hungry. I just knew I had to bring her Stefan, I'm sorry."

They looked at each other and gave a stiff nod.

"Is it because we have a baby that he doesn't want me?" Stefan asked.

"No." Nathan shook his head confidently. "It doesn't work like that. There must have been something in him that knew he had what she needed to feed. That she needed him most, I guess."

"You don't have a mate or kids. What do you know?" Stefan huffed and Nathan clenched his jaw in pain at that.

"When guys I know have rutted, they tend to hold onto what is theirs fiercely. Of course, I haven't seen many ruts but any kids that are young enough – babies, like Vida are hard to separate from the guy. When they're this small and vulnerable the guys don't trust many pack members to intervene."

"Then how the hell is anyone safe?" Stefan grunted.

"Most of the time, combat reduces the rut enough for someone to remove the babies until it's over."

"Is this what we have to look forward to Nathan? Because it's so much worse than being a vampire." Stefan complained and put his face in his hands.

"Nah, man. It's rare in adults because they mate during heat."

Stefan shook his head sadly and Nathan exhaled loudly in frustration.

"Stefan, like I said, a heat neutralizes a rut."

"Great." Stefan croaked.

"Stefan, I don't think this is going to die down very quickly unless Damon has a partner in heat to resolve it." Nathan said gravely and Stefan stared at him horrified at the suggestion.

"What are you..?" Stefan began to growl and Nathan held up his hands in peace and interrupted.

"You're not understanding Stefan!"

"You want me to let Damon sleep with someone else?!" Stefan's eyes turned vampire and Nathan grabbed him by the shoulders and growled too.

"I'm suggesting you trigger a heat!"

Stefan stared at him in surprise. Nathan panted, removing his hands from his shoulders and chewed his lip regrettably.

"You can trigger a heat – it's an old tradition used for arranged bonds between packs."

"What?"

"If there's enough wolf in you, you might be able to."

"Have another heat?" Stefan croaked in horror.

"Yeah. If you do, his rut will be satisfied."

"But it's awful! Nathan you don't know how bad it is!"

"I watched you go through it in the beginning of the spell remember?" Nathan cupped his face. "You can do it. It will be intense and it might be…painful, you just have to relax ok? I'm worried that if Damon plays it out like this any longer, without a heat partner, that he might go mad Stefan. Sometimes, the wolf who ruts this bad, has a…"

"Mania." Stefan finished for him, remembering Klaus's words.

"Yeah. He's already showing weird signs of it. His thoughts don't make sense?" Stefan nodded in affirmation.

"If I trigger a heat, will it be the same?" Stefan asked, wide eyed and thinking of the desperation, the aching inside of him, the back scrub handle.

He shivered and Nathan gulped.

"I don't know what yours was like this time, but because it's triggered and not coming in your cycle, it will be more intense." Nathan said sadly and Stefan put his face in his hands again.

"Trigger." He whispered after a minute and rubbed over his abdomen absent mindedly. "I have a trigger."

"What?" Nathan frowned in misunderstanding and Stefan chewed his lip.

"I can release eggs when I want. Klaus said that. He gave me that." Stefan said numbly and then a light bulb went on in his head. "Damon said I had no eggs, that I was infertile."

Nathan huffed in anger and Stefan gave a smile of comprehension.

"It's because I used my trigger to prevent it during the heat. I stopped fertility."

"How?" Nathan asked, bamboozled.

"Compulsion. That's why Damon said that. He thinks I'm not viable."

Nathan exhaled and rubbed his hands together as he thought on that.

"That could make sense. If he's deep in the rut, there's no point in a sexual partner who isn't fertile." Nathan thought on the human guy he had slept with at the ending of the spell to stop both of them being drained.

He'd known instinctively that the guy wasn't a morphed version for the spell to impregnate him like the others. He was too human to evolve like that for a spell, but despite his wolf instincts telling him not to bother, he'd realised he might die if they didn't copulate. He looked to Stefan in agreement.

"Can you turn your system on?" He asked and Stefan grimaced.

"If I do that, it won't give me a heat, it'll just mean I'll be fertile for the next heat."

Nathan sighed and nodded.

"I can't leave him suffering like this. If we'd spent the heat just allowing ourselves to join then he would have been ok."

"What do you want to do?" Nathan pressed.

"I don't want another heat Nathan. I want it to stop." Stefan croaked, full of emotion and Nathan squeezed his hand. "But…he is mine and my body can save him from this. I need to do it."

"Then you have to use the traditional way." Nathan advised and Stefan turned to him, searching his face for answers. "I'm sorry Stefan." He apologised and Stefan frowned and opened his mouth to ask why, when Nathan lunged towards him and bit just under the corner of his jaw at his neck.

Stefan cried out in surprise and knocked him off, onto the ground. Nathan fell on his back and put his hands up in peace as Stefan stood up, holding the side of this neck in pain.

What the fuck?!

Peace, Stefan. Had to.

"I've triggered a heat!" Nathan explained fearfully as Stefan's eyes tingled. "I'm sorry, it has to be done quickly."

Stefan rubbed at his neck, grimacing and Nathan stood up slowly.

"My saliva will react with the glands in your neck and it should trigger you."

"Why you? Why did you bite me?!" Stefan growled.

"Because I have the ability of mind to walk away and not fight for you and I am unbounded. If I wanted you Stefan, you'd be in trouble right now but I don't. You're safe." Nathan warned and Stefan exhaled mirthlessly.

"You mean you'd be in trouble Nathan!"

"Yeah." Nathan nodded in admission and stood up again.

"How long?"

"Not long, a few minutes. I better get Vida." Nathan advised and Stefan gagged in rage but nodded.

He stood up and opened the door to the hut, looking in. Vida was passed out, asleep in Damon's arms with her hands hanging either side of her head and he was scenting her face. Stefan walked in slowly.

Baby fed.

Stefan nodded, looking at her. Her breathing was very slow - much slower than normal. He moved to her and scented her face too, smelling her to make sure she was alright. Her heart was beating steady as usual, so she must be ok.

Damon's eyes widened as Stefan faced him. He sniffed.

Stefan?

It's me.

I need you.

I know my black haired one. I can finish this with you. Baby needs to go.

"No." Damon whispered and Stefan frowned in annoyance.

She needs to stay, protect, father…

Mating. Need to be alone.

Needs me Stefan. Will want more.

Damon looked at her face and Stefan reached out and touched Damon's chest again. Perhaps she would need more. How could they do this though, with her here to care for? They would be back to square one again!

"Stefan." Nathan voiced from the door. "What is your gut telling you?"

Stefan rubbed his eyes and tried to relax and listen to his body.

"Trust it." Nathan encouraged and Stefan stood up and faced him.

"Get her bassinet." He instructed and Nathan obeyed, retrieving it from outside and bringing it in to him.

Stefan took it and moved it near to the bed, deliberating. Damon searched his face.

"I don't think she should be here if we are mating, but I…" he paused, "…I think we have to try this." He admitted.

"I'll feel you, if there's anything wrong." Nathan exhaled and Stefan nodded. "Stefan it won't be long. Prepare ok?"

Stefan nodded and Nathan closed the door.

Stefan turned back to Damon again and offered his arms out for Vida. Damon studied him for a second and then relinquished her slowly. She didn't bat an eyelid as she was moved and placed into her bassinet. Stefan tucked her in and moved the bassinet to the other side of the room. At least she wouldn't see them if she woke up. He stroked her face gently.

"I'm sorry I didn't understand angel." He whispered. "You tried to tell me. Both of you did and I just didn't know."

He turned back to look at Damon who was studying him. Damon was sniffing deeply, he must be smelling the change in Stefan's body already. Stefan moved back towards the bed and stood before him, allowing Damon to lean in and sniff him.

"It's coming. It's coming and we can finish this." He cooed and Damon frowned as he scented over Stefan's stomach.

"It's not right." Damon struggled and Stefan ran his fingers through Damon's hair. "Can't Stefan."

I will hurt you.

Damon channelled and Stefan frowned and raised an eyebrow.

No heat, no sticking. Will hurt you if try to stay inside. No eggs, no point, no sticking…

Stefan exhaled in relief that he finally understood. Damon hadn't been saying he didn't want him, that he wasn't his mate, but rather that if Stefan's body couldn't perform like a heat and glue them together, Damon's instincts would drive him to attempt to force that. Stefan recalled Damon pushing in impossible deep when they'd attempted sex earlier. It had been painful and he hadn't realised that that was what Damon had been trying to do.

"I love you, my crazed maniac." Stefan cooed and Damon looked up at him remorsefully. "I understand now. My heat is returning for you."

"Stefan…" Damon struggled, "Run."

"Not happening. Lie down." Stefan commanded and Damon's eyes tingled as he felt a stray feeling of territorial anger again and Stefan felt it, pushing him onto his back and straddling him to hold him down.

Stefan growled and snapped his fangs and Damon lay back in surprise.

"You are mine Damon and I'm going to have you." Stefan growled and removed his t-shirt.

As he did so he felt the perspiration beginning to gather on his body and he touched his chest. He exhaled a little as he began to feel the little insects crawling under his skin again. What an unpleasant sensation it was. He scratched and exhaled when he felt a wave of heat come upon him. Damon stared up at him in wonder at the speed of the change.

Stefan rubbed his face and wiped his forehead. This was happening too fast. He groaned as he stood up and began to remove his jeans. Damon sat up too, sniffing. Stefan was semi erect as he pulled his jeans off and he looked towards Damon for aid. Damon immediately jumped off of the bed and went to steady him, licking around his neck and clavicle, tasting the sweat beginning to bead. Damon hummed and pulled back to stare in Stefan's eyes in surprise.

Fertile?

Stefan nodded. Damon grinned widely and Stefan listened to his thoughts become carnal and strange again. He had to be careful still. Damon wasn't himself and could still hurt him. He dropped his jeans to the floor and stepped out of them and Damon leaned into his neck and began to scent and place small bites.

My mate, mine, almost ready, cooking…

Stefan nodded and held his shoulders. He'd have to play this carefully and release his eggs to make this happen. He gulped as he thought on that. If he released them, they could get pregnant again and he didn't want that. If it was the only way to end this mania though…He had no doubt that if he didn't release them, Damon would smell this fake heat and wouldn't continue like before. Stefan just had to hope that a fake heat, despite eggs, wouldn't result in a baby.

He felt Damon grow hard against him and become a little more enthusiastic and so he threw him backwards onto the bed. Damon sat up in surprise and growled. Stefan was going to do this his way. Damon still had too much aggression and weirdness in him.

Stefan stalked over to him, growling and pumping his manhood and Damon stopped growling and watched him, licking his lips.

"You're not going to hurt me Damon." Stefan commanded and threw himself on top of his mate. "I'm going to fuck your brains out."

Damon gasped as Stefan held his throat and squeezed a little.

"Mine!" Stefan growled and Damon stared wide eyed up at him.

Stefan rubbed their bodies together, feeling his stomach spasm slightly. It was very near. He leaned forward and captured Damon's mouth with his and Damon kissed back hungrily and tried to hold him to roll him over. Stefan pulled back and punched him, knocking his head back into the pillow.

"Mine!" Stefan reminded and Damon licked blood from the corner of his mouth in awe of how strong his mate was.

Stefan held Damon's wrists above his head and watched as Damon struggled. Stefan growled low in warning and rubbed his pelvis against Damon's manhood. Damon grumbled and Stefan gave a small smile as he felt his fluid trickle from his entrance. Damon inhaled sharply and tried to struggle more.

"Oh no, my black haired one. You only get some of it when I decide." He grinned.

Want!

Stefan shook his head and rubbed himself backwards and forwards again, stimulating Damon's erection and coating Damon's skin in his fluid. Damon began to pant and looked at him in desperation.

"Please, Stefan!"

Stefan raised an eyebrow and sat back fully, relinquishing Damon's wrists. Damon sat up slowly.

Smell me.

Stefan commanded and Damon buried his nose in Stefan's chest, nosing his way down to his abdomen as Stefan concentrated on the trigger. He flipped it to allow his eggs to release and Damon gasped and began to lick his stomach.

Right, it's right…

Hell yeah it is my black haired one. It is always right for you.

Damon made a sound of anguish and looked up at him.

Stefan, what's happening to me?

"Ssssh, it's ok. This is our heat." Stefan stroked through his hair again as he saw his Damon returning slowly. "Trust your gut. Trust me."

"I was so confused. You didn't smell right and I…I didn't…" Damon became teary and angry with himself.

"It's ok. It was your rut." Stefan leaned forward and kissed his forehead gently, scenting him there and Damon relaxed and held him around his bottom.

Love you so much.

I love you too Damon. It's all ok now.

Damon gyrated under him and Stefan pushed on his chest to get him to lie back down. Damon did so, searching his face.

"We're in sync now. All the thoughts and pain will stop." Stefan comforted and Damon nodded gratefully. "Be with me, here." Stefan pressed over his heart and Damon swallowed.

Stefan lifted his hips and slid down onto Damon's manhood. Damon sighed as though it was the most exquisite pleasure he'd ever experienced. Stefan gave a chuckle and filled himself full before opening his eyes again. They linked hands and fingers and Stefan began to move, feeling the burning and heat in his skin grow hotter. He panted, feeling his body respond quickly and force him to ride his mate. It felt as though he was running from a spasm, a big one and he rode Damon desperately. Damon held his hips and moaned too.

"Oh god, I have to…" Stefan choked and leaned further over him, placing his hands on either side of Damon's head.

He began to move vamp sped, slamming himself down on Damon's body and Damon opened his mouth and tilted his head back at the intensity. The milking followed and they both began to cry out and pant together.

Please let this work, please, please

Stefan chanted and he sat back upright again as he felt the huge climax take both of their breaths away. They both shouted and grabbed at each other as Damon pushed in deeper and locked them together. Stefan yelled out and wilted and Damon steadied him as they stared at each other.

Damon's eyes changed to a gold colour and Stefan gasped in fear.

"Damon!"

Damon stared up at him, eyes glowing and grabbed Stefan too as he searched his eyes.

Gold, mated.

Damon channelled and Stefan touched his own eyes, feeling no different but realising that his eyes must be gold too. They continued to stare at each other, marvelling at how their eyes sparkled and glowed, until small bursts of climax robbed them of the ability to think as Damon surrender more of his seed inside.

Damon tilted his hips, asking for permission to move and Stefan sagged into him, allowing Damon to turn them over carefully onto their sides. They were still joined together and would be for a while, but Damon was so careful when turning them, that there was no pain for either. Damon spooned him and began to scent Stefan's back, sending stray animal promises of good cubs and protection. Stefan wanted to laugh at how animal the thoughts were but he allowed his inner wolf to glow and absorb them happily for a while. He relaxed and Damon slung his arms around his stomach to hold him their protectively.

Maybe another cub wouldn't be so bad.

Stefan opened his eyes as he thought that and huffed. No. No more. He shook his head and Damon bit playfully.

"You with me?" Stefan whispered as his eyes drooped.

"Definitely." Damon rocked into him, causing him to gasp in pleasure at the sensitivity again.

"You have milk now." Stefan yawned, thinking on it and Damon paused for a second, his mouth on Stefan's shoulder as he considered that.

"She won't need any more for ten hours." Damon said, sounding a little dazed again.

"How do you know?" Stefan turned his head to see him.

Damon shrugged and frowned. Stefan blew out a breath and gave a chuckle.

"Why would you be able to? What happened?" Stefan took the opportunity to ask while Damon was still thinking animal.

Once they were back to normal, Damon would probably freak out about this breast-feeding thing and he wouldn't know any more than the rest of them, why it had happened.

"So we can be alone."

"What?"

No pack. Just three.

Damon channelled nonchalantly and began to scent Stefan again. Stefan relaxed into him. Vampires weren't pack animals for sure. They were more solitary. So, in order for them to be able to have heats and still care for a baby, one of them had to be able to nurse. Why nurse though?

Good milk. Makes her sleep through.

Damon channelled and Stefan did chuckle then. Damon thinking like this was actually quite cute really.

So Damon's milk was to make her sleep undisturbed while they were in heat. She'd be safe and unaware while they were busy. He chuckled again. That was the perfect solution for them. They didn't want to hand her over to the pack while they mated. It wasn't natural for them. Why Damon though?

Damon. Why you and not me?

Painful.

What is?

Making milk. Not for you, not for you.

Stefan turned his head again and searched Damon's eyes.

"It hurts?"

Damon nodded and grimaced a little.

No more pain for Stefan.

Stefan exhaled and let his eyes fill with tears. Damon frowned and scented his cheek, cooing to comfort him.

"I didn't think I could love you any more than I already do." Stefan shook his head.

Sleep mate. Heat.

Damon channelled and Stefan nodded and relaxed again, closing his eyes peacefully for the first time in almost a week.