Disclaimer: No, I don't own Teen Titans.
Chapter 10
The boys had continued their bickering for the duration of the drive back to the tower, and Raven had had it. Without bothering to warn them, she phased out of the roof of the T-car and flew the rest of the way home. No, she wasn't exactly thrilled to see the growing T in front of her, but the situation inside couldn't be much worse than the tension in the car. Scratch that. It would definitely be worse. Starfire meant well, but Raven had a sneaking suspicion that the Tamaranean probably had a more...intense...style of babysitting. The empath wasn't sure what specifically it would look like, but she was willing to bet that she was about to walk into a situation that was completely out of Starfire's control. As usual, Raven was right. She had hardly had time to register the amount of additional destruction to the common room when her ears were viciously assaulted.
"Mommy!" A little voice cried as soon as Raven stepped into the room, "I got a booboo!"
The fair skinned child ran over to the teen, lifting her injured appendage so Raven could see.
"Can you make it better?"
Raven wasn't sure exactly what she was looking at. It seemed like the girl's hand was covered in some sort of unidentifiable goo. Whether or not that was what caused the 'booboo' was unclear. Either way, attempting to heal something that didn't need it couldn't make anything worse, so Raven lifted her hands and emitted her healing glow.
"There," she pulled away, "all healed."
"No!" The small girl shook her head in frustration, "you need to kiss it better!"
Raven sighed, "of course I do."
The older girl looked at the proffered finger warily. There was a high probability that whatever slime was on there wasn't edible, and she didn't want to risk getting it anywhere near her mouth. The gooey texture of it almost reminded her of Starfire's... Raven's eyes grew wide.
"Did Starfire feed you?"
"Yup!" The girl smiled, "we had glorg!"
Raven shuddered, and looked back to where Starfire and the boy were happily scarfing down the final dregs.
"And you're not feeling sick?" She pressed the child.
"Nope! Just funny! Like it's moving inside my tummy!"
That couldn't be good...
"Mommy," the girl brought the conversation back to her healed finger, "make it better!"
The cloak Raven was wearing already had Ryan's boogers and tears on it, so it had to be washed anyway. Thus, Raven figured a little greenish goo wouldn't make it much worse, and wiped the digit clean with the corner of the fabric. Gingerly, she raised the girl's hand to her lips and gave it a quick peck.
"There. Happy now?"
The little girl frowned, withdrawing her hand and placing it on her stomach.
Oh no... Raven knew that look. She had seen it that time Teether had to-
BLEEEEUGCH
"Great."
Was her cloak even worth salvaging at this point? Glorg was notoriously hard to get out of fabric. Especially when it was covered with digestive juices. Raven unclasped her broach and let the stained garment fall off her shoulders, levitating it towards the garbage under the sink. Wait. Where was the sink? Oh no no no no.
"...well maybe if you trusted us a little more, we'd surprise you!"
"Well maybe I would if you gave me any reason to! But you never..." Robin trailed off, and his mildly annoyed expression became much, much angrier. His brows were knitting, his nostrils were flaring his lips were turning down in a snarl...he was about to blow.
"Ahh!" Beast Boy sprinted past him, running for the remnants of the fridge, "my tofu! Is it ok?"
He pawed through the debris as a dog, searching for treasure.
"Uh, Rob," Cyborg tried to put a calming hand on Robin's arm, but Raven didn't wait until he made contact. Instead, she grabbed the little food poisoning victim, flew over to Starfire and the boy, and transported them away as fast as she possibly could.
"STARFIREEEEEE!"
/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
Robin's enraged roar could for miles outside of Jump City, but, safely surrounded by a solid black ball of energy, the two female titans and the children only heard a muffled shout, barely loud enough to startle them. When the world grew quiet once again, Raven lowered her shield and took stock of her motley crew. Both children seemed to be ok, one blissfully unaware of what had happened and the other still rubbing her stomach. Starfire was taking in her surroundings, looking perplexed.
"Please Raven - why are we in your room?"
"Because," the empath stated plainly, "it's the only place in the tower worse off than the kitchen."
Starfire's face grew red.
"Well...um...you see..."
"I don't want to know," Raven put her hands up, waving the redhead away, "what I am curious about is why you felt it was a good idea to give a mostly human child GLORG."
Raven gestured to the girl in the puke-stained pajamas.
"Hehe..." Starfire grinned sheepishly, playing with her hands, "she...informed me that she had partaken of the glorg before and was quite fond of it?"
Starfire's statement came out sounding more like a question than a fact.
"Why would you tell her that?" Raven turned on the girl, who tried her best to look defiant despite the continuing pain in her midsection.
"Because it's true!" Ryan covered for his friend.
Raven raised an eyebrow at him.
"But she only has a bite before you make her stop."
Raven glared at Starfire.
"And I take it no one stopped her this time?"
"But friend Raven, Marie was very much enjoying it! She had an entire bowl before you arrived..."
Raven stopped listening. Though this confession was concerning, considering only half a bowl had been upchucked, the main takeaway for Raven was that the little girl had a name. Marie. Why had they picked that? It was fine, though Raven might have chosen something a little more literary or perhaps something Azarathian. It was just...so plain. Considering the fact that all of Raven's friends walked around with titles that were essentially made up, it seemed odd to her that she would have picked such a common name. Raven examined the girl, sweat matting the very normal colored black hair to her pink, skin-toned brow, and dripping down next to her very blue, very non-purple eyes. When she wasn't using her powers, Marie looked, well, normal. Maybe that was all they wanted for her. A normal name for a normal girl with a normal life.
"...should we not?"
Raven was pulled from her thoughts.
"Sorry - what?"
"I asked if we might go out while Robin does the off of cooling, and perhaps get something else for the bumgorfs to wear? Marie's garments smell most...unwelcoming." The princess held her nose.
Starfire had a point. The little girl's pajamas needed to be thrown out with Raven's cloak. No way was anyone going to scrub either of them. That was another thing Robin was far too against - dry cleaning. Would it be so bad to spend a few hundred dollars per month to make sure their suits were cleaned and pressed? Apparently their leader felt it would.
The issue here was that though Marie could travel through the mall unnoticed, Ryan was bright green, and much smaller than Beast Boy, which meant there would be many questions for the titans. Raven didn't often care about what those outside her inner circle thought, but she was in the hero business, which meant that she, like all other titans, was well aware that their enemies enjoyed taking the things they loved and using those things against them. Things usually meaning living human beings. Friends, love interests, and, in this case, children. As of yet, no one aside from Starfire was emotionally attached, but it was their job to protect those in need, and innocent kids getting taken against their will undoubtedly fell into that category.
Now that she thought more about it, it was probably best that none of the titans be seen buying children's clothes and accessories. Which meant that Cyborg and his holorings would be their best option. Raven knew he probably wouldn't want to, but Cyborg was nothing if not dependable, and when things got tough, he always came through.
/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
The mechanical man in question was busy taking inventory of all the supplies he would need to return the living room to its former glory. It was going to take a while.
"Hey! At least our gaming system is still-" The controller in Beast boys hands crumbled into ash, "uh, never mind."
Robin had stormed off to the evidence room and slammed the door, probably going to organize his files or do more research on the destructive children - something that would calm his frayed nerves. This left Cyborg and Beast Boy to assess the damage and start the cleanup effort. Naturally, that really meant Cyborg. The older teen rummaged through the remnants of the kitchen, trying to determine if anything was salvageable. Robin had promised him that he could have some extra cash for some upgrades to the T-ship, as long as they stated in budget, and no way was he anything going to jeopardize that. Every undamaged screw or bolt meant another few cents in his pocket, and as Cyborg knew, every penny counted.
"Where do you think the girls are?" Beast Boy wondered aloud.
Before Cyborg could shrug, the two young women came through the door, children in tow.
"Raven! Dude!" Beast Boy cried, "why didn't you take us with you? Do you have any idea how loud it was?"
"Odd. We barely heard anything," Raven stated in monotone.
Beast Boy scowled, folding his arms with a huff.
"Friend Cyborg?" Starfire approached the teen, "might you be going out for the supplies soon?"
"Yeah," Cyborg turned slowly, then with a defeated slumping of his shoulders asked, "whaddaya need?"
"Might you be willing to get the clothes for the bumgorfs? Raven has suggested that you would be better suited to the task, as you possess the holorings that do the changing of your appearance."
"We don't want anyone knowing about the kids," Raven clarified.
Cyborg nodded, "that's probably a good idea. Anything else we need?"
"Well, a new entertainment system would be nice!" Beast Boy grinned hopefully, as the swinging screen behind him finally came loose, spraying glass onto the floor.
"No," Raven intervened before the boys could start talking specs, "that's not a necessity. Just whatever you were going out for and the clothes for the kids."
The boys sulked. Their sanity was equally if not more important than the repairs, and seriously - couldn't the kids just wear some old T-shirts or something? Beast Boy and Cyborg needed their giant TV screen and high tech gaming consoles - it was as important to them as air. Did Raven not understand that?"
"But-"
"No buts," the empath stopped them, "just get back soon."
Cyborg muttered to himself bitterly as he scanned the kids with his robotic eye, committing their measurements to his memory bank.
"Be back soon," Cyborg waked towards the door, "but when I get back BB and I are going straight to the electronics store."
"Aw yeah!" Beast Boy fist-bumped the air.
"Daddy," Marie spoke up, "can I go to pick out a new TV with you and Uncle Cyborg when he gets back?"
"Uh..." Beast Boy had kind of been looking forward to getting away from the mess at the tower, but before he could give a weak 'sure', Starfire came in for the save.
"You shall do no such thing!"
The little girl scrunched up her face at the Tamaranean.
"Why not?" Her eyes glowed red.
This did not go unnoticed by the empath. Raven would really have to do something about that.
"Because," Starfire stated the obvious, "you are in dire need of the bath! You are covered in the post-digestive glorg and have the odor of a milfnarb after varnax!
The other teens in the room didn't need to understand Tamaranean to agree with Starfire's assessment. Marie reeked. The little girl lifted her sleeve to her nose, sniffed, and gagged.
"I want a bath too!" Ryan chimed in, not wanting to be left out.
"Glorious! Let us then commence with the bathing!" Starfire's lizard-like tongue was about to dart from her mouth when Beast Boy and Raven, frantically waving their arms, screamed, "NO!"
"But friends," she protested, "I was merely going to-"
"I don't want to know," Raven shushed her, "but I think it would be best if you started cleaning up here."
"Yeah," Beast Boy agreed, "I think maybe you've done enough babysitting for one day."
Starfire tried to mask her disappointment with a halfhearted smile.
"I would...be happy to begin the cleaning up," Starfire flew towards the kitchen, then pivoted back to her friends, "but please - have either of you done the bathing of the children before? In the earthling way?"
The two titans looked at each other. Raven was raised on Azarath by monks that she couldn't recall ever having smiled at her, let alone bathing her. She honestly had no idea what kids' baths even looked like in this dimension.
"I mean, I've done bath time before. With my parents. Before...you know," Beast Boy gestured to his grassy complexion, "this happened."
"Oh," the girls shifted uncomfortably. The titans' youngest member was not one to talk about his past.
Prior to becoming the lean green shifting machine he was today, Beast Boy had been a fairly standard human boy. Blue eyes, blonde hair, tan skin - the works. But then what happened happened and soon after his parents were just gone and...Beast Boy didn't like thinking about that. He skimmed over the details of his past whenever it came up in conversation, which luckily wasn't often, and when he was alone he desperately tried to push the memories back into the crevices of his mind, focusing instead on video games or magazines filled with mopeds. But as he looked at the two little faces staring up at him, their lives effectively ripped out from under them overnight, he couldn't help but see a little, newly green boy sobbing on the bank of an African river, wishing that someone would hold him and tell him it was all just a horrible nightmare. He shook himself, pushing the images back. These kids needed some good, clean fun, pun very much intended, and Beast Boy was going to take it upon himself to give them the best bath time experience ever, straight out of the Logan playbook. All he had to do was search his closet for those rubber dog toys he liked to chew on...
"Don't worry guys," he brushed of his teammates, winking at the kids, "I'm an expert in bath timing."
Starfire cupped her hand to Raven's ear.
"You will be helping, correct?" she whispered.
Raven nodded. Whatever Beast Boy had in mind, it was going to end badly. His plans rarely went, well, according to plan. Sometimes she almost felt bad for him. Almost.
"Well, let's get going then," the empath put a hand behind each child's back and ushered them towards whatever terrors laid ahead of them, "bath time awaits."