Chapter Eight - Changes
Meaningless. Life was meaningless. His life was meaningless. What meaning did life have if he could not help the one he loved? He wanted to go to her, to hold her, to tell her he would never let anyone hurt her again and that it would be alright. But he could not. He was trapped in his own mind, unable to affect the outside world, unable to comfort the woman he loved. And all because he had doubted her for a split second, a moment in time that would forever haunt him. Chloe would have believed in him. Why hadn't he believed in her? Why had he doubted? Why had he given up on the one he loved?
He would not give up now. With every breath he would fight, thwarting the Entity's plan as best he could, protecting Chloe the only way he knew how. Still, it was strong. With each scream, with each tear, with each evil laugh it grew in power. He heard them all. He heard the gunshot from the woman murdering her husband. He heard the scream of the young woman being raped by her best friend. He heard the sobs of the man that knelt broken at the gravestone of his wife. He heard it all because the Entity heard it all. It took it all in and drew power from the suffering, from the hate, and from the betrayal. It grew stronger with each passing minute, able to influence more people and whisper in more ears. Lex had taken away its greatest weapon, possessing the bodies of those that did or thought what was wrong, but he had not taken away all of its weapons. It still had control of his body and it still could indirectly influence others. Like it was doing to Chloe now.
Be strong, Chloe. Not for the first time, Lex wished he was connected to Chloe like Clark was to Lois. None of this would have happened if that were so. And even if it had, he would still be able to comfort her now. He could be whispering words of encouragement and love to counter the ones of despair and hate that the Entity was directing her way. Anything to help her through what had happened to her, what the Entity had done to her.
He should be there. That, more than anything else, echoed over and over in his mind. He should be there for Chloe. He should be beside her, stroking her hair and whispering loving words in her ear. Instead she was alone and terrified. It tore at his heart to see her like this, or feel her like this.
Feel. The proverbial light bulb went off in Lex's head as he realized what he must do. But is it worth it? The question lingered in his mind even as he began to plan the next steps of action. His actions would have to be swift to prevent the Entity from learning of his plan. The element of surprise was the only thing that assured success.
But is it worth it? Was it? Would a few words be enough? Were those words worth losing himself over? Were those words worth losing Chloe for? She could never love the man he would become. He would be closing the door on a relationship with her forever. And all for what? A few words of encouragement?
Chloe's sob echoed in his ear, and he made up his mind. He had to do this. Chloe was so lost. He had to give her hope. He had to give her strength. She was falling, possibly to her death. She needed a hand to catch her and pull her back up, even if that hand would disappear as soon as it had. His life was meaningless if he could not help the one he loved. He loved Chloe with his whole heart, mind, and soul. And he was willing to give it all up for her.
Lex opened his eyes and strode confidently up to the cage that contained a mirror image of himself.
"Hello, Lex," the Entity quipped evilly. "Come to entertain me, have you? The way your little blond girlfriend has been entertaining me for the last couple of hours?"
"You will never hurt her again."
The Entity laughed. "You cannot stop me. You have trapped me here, yes, but I have power that you could not possibly imagine. The end of this epic is certain. The human race is going to lose. You might as well give up now."
Lex broke his eye lock for a split second, glancing at the cage intently and causing it to rise up from the floor.
It laughed again. "I did not think you actually would, but that is a wise decision on your part. The end of you and your pathetic little race is coming soon enough. Welcoming it will be much less painful. You are-"
His double's words were cut off as Lex thrust his hand into its head. A purple glow burst from the spot, emanating in all directions and filling the room with light. Lex felt himself slowly drifting away as his being began to merge, step by step, with the one before him. His mind began to be filled with the thoughts and desires of the Entity as the reverse began to happen to it. Their minds were slowly merging into one, and neither could stop the process. It was too late to turn back now.
Lex's body moved into his double's, and for a moment he was given complete control of its powers. This was the moment he had been waiting for.
Lex focused all his thoughts on Chloe, shutting out all the images that were being bombarded on his mind and all the evil that was slowly creeping its way in. He knew he only had a few seconds. He had to make the most of them.
"Chloe, you are not alone. Do not give up. Do not give in. You can get through this. You don't have to face this alone. You are loved."
His focus cracked, and the images and evil flooded in, consuming him. He screamed and it screamed until the scream merged into a single voice. The world began to cloud and darkness took him.
Then, slowly, the world began to come back into view. Lex opened his eyes and looked around. He was in his office, on the floor. And he had control of his body once again. He stood up and smiled. He could feel everything, sense everything. The world was his footstool, and he was standing above it, marveling at its beauty. Destruction. Degradation. Death. All of it was everywhere, feeding him, fueling him. Giving him power beyond his wildest imagination. He could have anything, control anyone. Only one force stood in his way. Kal-El. Clark. Oh, but not for long. The plan was already in motion, the stage already set. Clark would be history, one way or another. It was only a matter of time.
Clark smiled brightly as he watched his mother and his wife play with his new…he wasn't sure what to call her. Daughter was too strong of a word, at least yet, and foster child seemed to come up far short. Far, far short. Lily was a breath of fresh air. He hadn't seen Lois laugh or enjoy herself this much since their wedding. Her whole being was almost glowing, and contentment and happiness flowed from her. Just seeing her smile made him fall in love with her all over again. Her smile lit up her face and magnified her natural beauty by leaps and bounds. Gawd, I'm so lucky.
Lois looked up from watching Lily draw in one of Clark's old coloring books to catch his eye, and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest. She touched her heart with her hand, laughed, smirked, and rolled her eyes at him, before returning her attention to the precious little blond on the floor. She had given her crayon to "Teddy" and was having him "color" the page by holding his hand and moving the crayon back and forth across the page. Clark smiled even wider, if that was even possible, and looked at his wife in amazement once again. He could not recall a moment in his life that he felt happier than he was at that very moment.
"So, Mr. Kent, what do you do for a living?"
Clark tore his gaze from his wife and glanced at the social worker that was sitting beside him. He was a dark haired man in his forties, well built, though not as well as Clark, with a touch of gray that added distinction. Clark's smile faded slightly as he began to answer his question. Didn't the man see the scene on the floor before him? Couldn't he see the smile on Lois' face?
"I'm in security, Mr. Fredricks. I work a very flexible schedule at the Metropolis Cultural Museum."
"Interesting. Does security pay well?"
"It pays well enough for a man of my education," Clark said simply.
"Oh? And just what is your educational experience?"
Clark smiled slightly as he sighed inwardly. He knew the man was just doing his job, but Clark was still slightly angry with him for distracting him from his wife.
"I have a high school diploma. Lois has a college degree, though, and is pursuing a career in journalism. She is an amazing writer, and an even more amazing investigative reporter."
"Really? Does she work for one of the local papers?"
Clark smiled, for real this time. The topic of Lois was one he could get into. "She is working freelance for the Daily Planet currently, and she only graduated from college this past spring. She graduated with a four year degree in three years, and with honors. I'm very proud of her."
"Has she submitted anything recently?"
"Yes, actually. Her story about Superman appeared in the papers yesterday. She also submitted an excellent story two weeks ago on the condition of the poor in the slums."
"Superman? Are you-" He was interrupted by a knock on the door, and Clark got up to answer it. That must be his father. According to Lois, he had left earlier to pick up groceries for lunch, and he would likely need some help carrying everything in.
"Hi Dad. Let me…Chloe?" Clark said as he opened the door. His heart caught in his throat as he looked at her. Her eyes were very red, her make-up was smeared terribly, and her face held one of the most lost looks he had ever seen in his life. "What's wrong?"
"I…"
He held out his hand and took hers, ushering her inside. Lois was already up and walking towards the door, and when Chloe saw her she released Clark's hand and rushed into the arms of her cousin.
"There there, baby. I'm here. I'm here."
Clark glanced at the social worker, who had a raised eyebrow, but otherwise no reaction to the scene before him. "Mr. Fredricks, would you mind coming back at a later time?"
"Certainly. Who is…" He glanced at Chloe, who was being escorted by Lois to the bedroom.
"Chloe, Lois' cousin. She's been through a lot over the past couple of days. Now if you will please…"
The man nodded, took one last look at the bedroom door, turned, and left. Clark closed the door behind him and sighed, then looked with concern at the bedroom door. He took two steps towards it, only to pause as he heard the voice of a woman calling for help. His mother, who was holding Lily in her arms, noticed the look in his eyes and asked him, "What is it?"
"A woman is being mugged. I have to go."
"Do you want me to tell Lois?"
"She knows. I'll be back when I can."
She nodded, and began stroking Lily's hair. The girl had begun to cry when Chloe had come in.
"I'm sorry," he added. And then he left.
Chloe fought to hold back the tears, to contain even some of the anguish that filled her. But the floodgates would not stop, the pain would not go away. Gawd, what I almost did…
"Let it out, baby. Let it all out. It's okay. Just let it all out. I'm here."
Chloe continued to cry, sob, and sniffle in her cousin's arms. But she was strangely comforted. The more she cried, the easier her burden became, almost as if Lois was bearing part of it for her. The words that had brought her here echoed in her mind once again. You don't have to face this alone. You are loved.
Chloe continued to cry for several more minutes, her cousin whispering comforting words and stroking her back lovingly the entire time. Eventually her sobs subsided, and she pulled away slowly to look Lois in the eye.
"Better?"
She nodded.
"Do you want to talk?"
"I…" Her tears threatened her again as she attempted to open up her heart to Lois. You don't have to face this alone. You are loved.
"Shhhh…you don't have to talk," Lois said as she pulled her close once again.
It took Chloe a few moments to regain her composure. Once she had, she pulled away again and started again.
"I…had a bad dream. He came again. The man that…he came after me…in my appartm…he tried to…I was scared…I almost…I almost…" The tears came again, and once again she retreated into her cousin's arms. After a few moments, she once again continued. "I almost killed myself. I couldn't take it happening again. I couldn't take him…touching me…again. I went out on the balcony and…and I almost…" She paused, and Lois opened her arms, welcoming her, but Chloe put her hand up, indicating that she just needed a minute.
"Lois, I can't go back there. Can I…"
"Yes, you can stay here. Of course you can stay here. I'm so sorry I wasn't there."
"It's not your…I was the one that wanted to go it alone. I was the one…Lois, I was going to jump. I was really going to jump. I heard a voice. I think…I think it was an angel. It told me that I wasn't alone, that I am loved. Lois, I really need to feel loved. Love me please."
Lois gathered her into her arms and stroked her back and hair, crying with her. "I love you, darlin'. I love you, baby. I always have and always will." She continued to hold her, continued to cry with her. For her.
And Chloe felt it. It was true. I am not alone. I am loved.
Lois sighed and allowed herself to collapse on the couch. She was exhausted, both mentally and physically. It had been a long day. All the preparations for Lily's arrival, worrying about Chloe moving back into her apartment, finally seeing Lily again and all the emotions that went along with that, having Chloe show up and in the state that she was in, trying to balance caring for Chloe and Lily, and seeing Clark only sporadically as he came and went to fulfill his duties to the city, all of it was overwhelming. Chloe was improving, but still had a long way to go and still couldn't make it through a night without thrashing and screaming. Lily wasn't fairing much better. Lois had been up most of the night, alternating between her bedroom, where Chloe was sleeping, and Lily's bedroom, attempting to comfort them both. She felt like a mother waking up at all hours of the night to comfort her crying child, and she suddenly had the utmost respect for all mothers everywhere. How do they do it?
Lois sighed again as she thought about that. She wasn't cut out to be a mother. She couldn't even cook a simple meal properly, as the dinner fiasco could attest to. Mrs. Kent had offered to help, but she had insisted that she wanted to do it herself. She hadn't had the chance to cook for Clark yet, and she wanted the opportunity to do something special for him and Lily. So while her mother-in-law had taken care of Lily, Lois had gone about preparing dinner. Something simple. Spaghetti. Yet she had managed to butcher even that. How was it even possible to burn spaghetti?
And now she was at her wits end. She was tired. No, she was exhausted. She had no strength left. She could barely stand, yet she was too tired to sleep. She needed to talk to someone. Anyone. But the Kent's had left after dinner to return to Smallville, Clark was out helping the citizens of Metropolis for the sixth time that day, and Chloe was in no condition to have a conversation with her.
Not for the first or even fifth time over the past few days, she was hit with how hard it would be to share Clark with the world. He had a responsibility to the world. A destiny. But he also had a responsibility to her. He was her husband, and her husband should be there for her when she needed him. She shook those thoughts from her head as she reminded herself that Clark would always be there for her when she truly needed him. Just not always when she wanted him. Like she wanted him to be there now.
For the third time in only a few minutes, Lois sighed. She wanted Clark to be there to tell her that everything would turn out fine, that it was okay that she had ruined dinner, and that she could continue and get through it because she was the strongest and most amazing woman he had ever met. What he didn't know, or at least always left out, was that she was not the strong woman he believed her to be without him. She could be strong and get through this, but not without him by her side. She was always stronger with him by her side.
Screams brought her from her musings, and she pulled herself from the couch and made her way to her bedroom, rushing to Chloe's side and taking her hand. Chloe's hand jerked away the instant it made contact with Lois', though her screams did subside some. She began to whisper loving words to her cousin, stroking her hair and attempting to soothe her as best as she could. After a few minutes Chloe stopped shaking and slipped back into a deep sleep. Lois leaned down and kissed her on the head, then stood up and made her way back to the couch. She really needed to talk to someone. Anyone. But who could she possibly talk to at three in the morning?
A thought hit her, and she realized that there was someone that she could call no matter what she needed to talk about or how early in the morning it was. She smiled slightly, picked up her cell phone, and hit the speed dial. Four rings later, a very groggy yet familiar voice came from the other line.
"Hello?"
"Hi."
A slight groan. "Lois? Do you know what time it is?"
"Yes. I'm sorry for calling this late. I just…needed to talk to someone."
Another groan. "Hold on," the voice said very slowly and incoherently. Lois heard the sound of shuffling in the background, blankets being pulled away, a loud thump followed by a few choice curses, some more shuffling, and a slightly more awake voice return to the line. "Okay, big sis. I'm back. What's on your mind?"
"I..." She paused for a moment as she attempted to clear her head.
"Lo', what is it?"
"Do you…do you think it was crazy of me to marry Clark?"
Clark hovered above the roof of his apartment in total shock. He couldn't believe it. It didn't seem possible. Yet the proof was staring him in the face. How did this happen?
Clark looked at the article again. On the front page of Sunday evening edition of the Daily Planet, in large letters, were printed the words "SUPERMAN: SAVIOR OF METROPOLIS". And, just below them, the words that had caught his attention: "by Brandon Brown". Brandon Brown, not Lois Lane Kent. The bastard had stolen his wife's story. Literally. The article was, down to the last letter, save for several spelling corrections, the story that Lois had submitted to the Planet Sunday afternoon.
Clark's heart fell. This was going to break Lois. No, she wouldn't break. She was too strong for that. But it would hurt her greatly, and it hurt Clark just to think about it. She had enough going on right now without adding anything more to the mix. She didn't need this right now. And he couldn't hide it from her. She was too perceptive. When he came home she would know something was wrong, and she would pry it out of him just like she always did. Then she would cry, and despite the fact that he loved that she was open enough with him to cry in front of him, he hated to see her cry. He hated to see her in pain.
I have to fix this. There was no other way. He couldn't go home with this news on his chest. He couldn't bear to see his wife go through any more than she already had. She had enough to deal with, with everything that had happened to Metropolis, to Chloe, to Lily. He knew how stressed out she was. He could feel it. She didn't need something else on her plate. He needed to fix this himself.
Clark flew to the nearest hotspot, as he called them, and quickly changed into his clothes. Knowing he would likely need to change out of his Superman disguise and back into himself quickly and anywhere, he had taken the liberty of hiding packages of his signature clothing, a blue button down shirt and dark slacks, at several secluded locations around Metropolis. His hotspots.
Once he had changed back into himself, he returned to the street and headed for the Daily Planet. He doubted Mr. Brown would be there at this time of night, but he really didn't have any other place to start. Lois was the investigative journalist, not him. He didn't see things the way she did. Today, though, he was going to have to try, as he didn't have any other choice. Lois was depending on him. He had to do this for her. He just had to.
Clark approached the building and scanned the area for any signs of activity. There were only five people in the building, and three were security guards. Clark smiled. Security was something he knew very well. Breaking in was going to be easy. Finding the evidence he needed, now that was another story.
"What?!" However sleepy Lucy might have been, she was wide awake now. She had to have heard her sister wrong.
"Should I have married Clark?"
Lucy's eyes widened. Her sister really was doubting her marriage. "Lois, what happened?"
"Nothing."
"Something must have happened for you to be thinking these things. Now tell me what is wrong."
"I…Lucy, I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm not good enough. I'm not strong enough."
"Slow down. Start from the beginning. What can't you do anymore? What aren't you good enough at?"
"Being a wife and mother. I'm just no good at it. Clark deserves better."
Lucy paused for a moment. So this is what this is about. "Lo', how long have you been married to Clark?"
"Three days," Lois whispered.
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. How long?"
"Three days," Lois said, slightly louder and with more conviction.
"Three days. No one is going to be the perfect wife in three days. You need to give it time. Like a lot more time."
"But Clark needs me now! Lucy, he's struggling so much right now. He's out there, helping people, and it's hurting him to see them in pain. He's going to come home, and I'm not going to have anything to give him."
"Why? Why wouldn't you be able to help him? Sis, what happened today? Did it not go well with Lily?"
"I don't know. She keeps waking up crying. Same as Chloe. I've tried to help them, but nothing seems to work."
"Chloe's there? You told me yesterday that she was going back to her place."
"She came by earlier and…Luce, she's so lost. I tried to comfort her, but she's still waking up every hour screaming. I don't know what to do."
"No wonder you are so stressed out. Lois, you should have called. I would have come over and helped you."
"But you are busy with school."
"I'm never too busy for you or Chloe. I can afford to take a few days off school. You should have called me."
"I'm sorry. I can't seem to do anything right. I can't even cook spaghetti without ruining it."
Lucy had to laugh at that. "You ruined spaghetti? How did you manage that?"
"Luce, you're not helping."
Her laughter subsided slightly. But only slightly. "Come on, Lo'. You ruined spaghetti. That's right after macaroni and cheese as the simplest meal on the planet."
"Don't you think I know that! How am I ever going to be the wife Clark needs if I can't even cook a simple meal for him?"
Lucy was taken back by her sister's outburst. She had thought that lightening the mood would allow Lois to laugh at herself, but things were apparently worse than she had initially thought. "You really are stressed about this, aren't you?"
"I…I just love Clark so much, Luce. What if I can't handle it? What if I'm not good enough for him? And what if he realizes it? I'm not as strong as I used to be. I could never stand to lose him. He's…he's my everything."
"Lois, you are never going to lose Clark. He married the woman you are, not the woman you will be. He loves you more than life itself. I've seen the way he looks at you. And from what you've told me of your sex life, he'd be crazy to leave you even if he didn't love you."
"Lucy!"
"What? You're amazing. And don't you ever forget it, big sis." Lois laughed in response, and Lucy beamed. "There's the sister I know and love. You know what Mom always said. A dose of laughter a day-"
"- drives the teardrops away," Lois finished.
"That's right. Now you keep that smile up for me. I'll be there in about an hour."
"No, Luce, you don't have to-"
"I know, sis. But I want to. Besides, it's always fun to wake the General up at this time of night. He'll be thrilled to helicopter me across state at three in the morning. I just know it." Lois laughed again, and Lucy smiled. "You hang in there for me, okay? And remember, Clark loved you before he had experienced Lois Lane in all her glory. There's no way he'll ever let you go now. Us Lanes know how to handle our men."
"Oh we do, do we?"
"Of course. We're irresistible. Just wait till you find out what I have planned for the hunk of a man I have my eye on. He won't know what hit him. I'll have that ball and chain around his ankles before he can blink."
"I bet."
"Love you, Lo'."
"I love you too, Lucy."
"See you soon."
"You too. Bye."
Lucy hung up the phone and sighed contently. She really was going to enjoy waking up the General at this time of night. Especially since she knew she was going to win the argument that would inevitably follow. She had the trump card, and it had her sister's name on it.
She pulled herself from the couch and returned to her bedroom to get dressed. Finished, she looked longingly at the picture on her nightstand one last time, kissed her fingers and placed it on the man's gorgeous face, and sighed. Looking at herself in the mirror, she smiled. "You really aren't going to know what hit you, B." Satisfied with her appearance, she headed to the General's room to wake the sleeping monster. Oh, this was going to be fun.
"What the hell are you doing in my room, Lane?!"
Lois laughed at her sister's antics. She was waving her finger in the air, imitating their father's reaction to Lucy's sudden arrival in his room. "That sounds like Daddy," Lois said.
"Yeah, it really does," Lucy said with a laugh of her own. "And then he got up and started spewing out orders like he usually does. Things like, 'You should be in bed right now, young lady,' 'Don't you talk back to me,' and 'Lucy Ellen Lane, you go back to bed this instant!' It was hilarious."
"Sounds like."
"He didn't even stop yelling long enough to let me get a word in. I think he might have awoken the entire base. When he finally stopped shouting long enough to process what I had been trying to say, he paused and said, 'Did you say something about little Lo'?' And now I'm here, so you know the rest."
Lois shook her head. "I still can't believe how much different he is now, Luce. You've really worked a number on him."
Lucy smirked in disbelief. "Me? You're kidding, right? Lois, it's all you. He doesn't stop talking about how proud he is of you."
"Really?"
"Of course, Lo'. He adores you. And for good reason. Look at you. You're beautiful, like me." This earned her a smile from Lois. "You've finished college in record time. You are settling in to a promising career. And you've married a great man that loves you more than life itself. Not to mention all the maturity the two of you showed leading up to your marriage. I mean come on Lo', waiting six months for sex that great? There's no way I would have been able to wait that long. I would have jumped him."
"Am I going to regret talking to you about my sex life, Lucy?"
"Of course you are. But you're going to continue to tell me anyway."
Lois raised her eyebrows at her sister's comment. "Really?" she asked with a challenging tone.
"Of course. I'm your sister. You tell me everything."
"I might make an exception in this case. You know, for the sake of my sanity."
"Oh no you don't! This is a sister thing. You. Must. Share. Period."
"Why?" Lois asked with a smirk.
"Because!"
"Because what?"
"Because I live precariously through your sex life! Seeing as how I don't have one of my own. You so can't hold out on me. That would just be…evil."
"Hhmmm…well, I'm in an evil mood. So…sorry."
"Lois!"
"Yes?"
Lucy growled.
"Are you growling at me?"
"Are you being a naughty sister and keeping things from me?"
Lois smiled brightly, and then stood up and kissed Lucy on the head. "I'm tired. I think I'm going to go to bed."
Lucy only growled in response.
Lois laughed. "Goodnight, Luce," she said as she went to her bedroom and closed the door behind her.
Lucy fumed for a few more seconds before smiling widely and lying down on the couch. A job well done, Lane. A job well done. She closed her eyes and let herself drift to sleep.