I know. I'm horrible at updating... But I love reviews :D Also, I thank a very good friend of mine for helping me with this! Without Ashley, none of this would be possible :)
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Lily glanced up from her Transfiguration book at the sound of the portrait hole slamming shut. James was likely getting things to take home with him, as he'd been doing everyday for the last three weeks since he'd come back to school. With it being Friday, Lily knew she wouldn't see James until their first class Monday morning. Hesitantly, she closed her book, watching him stalk towards the stairs.
"Hey, Potter,"
He paused, then turned slightly towards her. "Evans?"
"Um. Can we talk?"
"Is it important? I'm a bit busy at the moment."
Lily debated. He was obviously in a mood. She owed him a very big apology and it was important to her that he hear it. Lily just wasn't sure James would want to listen.
She had spent the last three weeks going over her personality. Trying to ease up on things a bit and realizing how much of a horrible person she'd been, not only to him but to the other Marauders and at times, even her own friends. She'd been putting her "new" self to the test the last couple of weeks and found she liked it. Not being as worked up over silly things lightened her stress load immensely. She'd let others take charge with patrols (though she didn't put James on the list and so she still was pulling double duty), lightened up her studying time and had even begun to just enjoy the simple things. A funny joke, a lighthearted, harmless flirt from Sirius, and even letting a couple Hufflepuffs off of detention one night when she and Remus had caught them in an alcove doing the dirty. Lily found she smiled more, laughed more and that she actually slept better when she didn't worry about the little things. She even looked less stressed, the dark circles under her eyes almost completely faded. And even better, her grades were still excellent and improving ever so slightly.
"I did have a few words to say," Lily answered, putting her books aside.
"Well?" James asked impatiently.
"Right." She cringed. "Er. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry."
He turned fully toward her. "Huh?"
"I'm sorry." Lily repeated. "I've treated you poorly. Always have in fact. You were right. I wasn't giving you a fair chance. I never have. I've always seen you as an arrogant, toe-headed spoiled prick. Since the first time I met you on the train when were 've grown up a lot since then. Now, I'm not saying you didn't deserve some of the things I did to you -"
"Like breaking a couple ribs?" James asked, and Lily was grateful for the wry humor and slight twist of his mouth.
"Right. You did deserve some of it. But not all of it. I would jump on you - and Sirius and Remus and Peter- constantly. I never realized until recently I did it to everyone else too, just in different ways. And I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to act like that. I'm trying to be a better person now. The first step in that is to say I'm sorry and I'd like to get to know who you are now."
James stared at her long enough that she started to feel uncomfortable and began fidgeting. "So. Er, Yea. That's all I wanted to tell you."
His eyebrows rose into that messy black hairline. He walked over to her. "How about we start fresh then?" Lily glanced up at him and he held out his hand. "Hello. I'm James Potter. I'm an arrogant, toe-headed spoiled brat who's done a lot of growing up recently."
Lily grinned at his summation, thankful he was giving her a chance. "I'm Lily Evans. Self righteous over achiever extraordinaire."
"Nice to meet you, Lily Evans."
"Same here, James Potter."
They smiled at one another and Lily felt her heart flip. She felt lighter and happier than she had moments before. James let go of her hand.
"I've gotta, you know," he jerked his thumb up to his room.
"Don't let me stop you," Lily said, reaching for her book again.
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Two days later, Lily walked through the halls, Sirius at her side, on their way to meet James at the gates of the castle.
"Explain to me again why McGonagall couldn't allow me to meet him by myself and sent you in her place?" Sirius asked.
"She was busy." Lily grinned. "Though she did say something about you getting up to shenanigans. And being idiotic enough to go to Hogsmeade at night. I think there was also mention of being a bad influence."
"Aww. I'm hurt. Minnie doesn't trust me after all this time?"
"Because you've given her so many reasons to?" Lily snorted.
"Rule of the Marauder. Never tell a lie."
"You're making that up! You've lied before, especially to get out of detentions."
Sirius shook his head. "Maybe just avoid a direct answer or selectively answer questions, but none of us has ever deliberately lied to a professor."
"At least you have some morals," Lily said dryly.
Sirius gently shoved her sideways as they walked. "Respect. And morals! What, you think we're all a bunch of heathens?"
"Well-"
"Don't answer that," Sirius cut in quickly. Lily smiled in answer and he asked, "So what're your plans for Christmas, Lily-Flower?"
"I'm staying over this year. It's the last year and I've always gone home before. I think it'll be good for me to have at least one year here at the castle."
"Merlin," Sirius said. "You've honestly never stayed for Christmas before?" He clapped his hands. "Oh, this is going to be awesome!"
She groaned. "Please tell me you are not staying..."
"Always, Evans." He grinned. "There's only a handful of us that stay. Me, James, a couple younger years, a few stray snakes..."
"Snakes?"
"Slimy Slytherins." Sirius said. "There's a feast and decorations. It's a blast."
Lily shook her head. "James won't be here this year. You should go home with him,"
The grin dropped from his face. "Er. Yea. Yea. I...Don't think so."
"Why not? You're his best mate. He could likely use you there."
He glanced around a moment then sighed. "Can you keep a secret, Flower?"
"Of course."
Sirius sighed heavily. "I know James wants me there with him. I want to be there for him. He's my best mate and I don't envy him this. But I don't think I can stand to see them that way. Frail and dying, on the edge of death, you know? That's not how I want to remember them."
"I know," she said quietly.
Sirius sniffed and shook his head. "They took me in. Summer of fifth year. Charlotte, she is more of a mum to me than mine ever was or will be. Albert too. He is very boisterous and James really looks up to him. Admires him. They're good people, Lily. I feel like scum, making James do this alone. I'm a right arse. I'm supposed to be his friend and instead of being there, I'm avoiding it. Both him and them. It's not fair to him, but I'm a selfish bastard."
Lily put her hand on his arm. "Stop. I get it. Really. Sometimes it's better to remember people at their best instead of seeing them at their last and worst. It doesn't make you a bad friend. It makes you human."
Sirius hugged her. "I like the new Lily. She's more understanding,"
"Ha. I might be soft, but don't even think about trying to pull a prank. It's not after Christmas yet!" Lily smiled.
"I still don't know how the hell you got me to agree to that. Or any of us really." He pointed at her. "Payback is coming, Evans."
She laughed. "I'm not afraid of you, Sirius."
"Oh but you should be, Lily. Very afraid,"
She patted his cheek. "I'm quivering all the way to my socks. Come on, James will be here shortly and we're not even at the gates yet."
They hurried through the grounds to the gate, kicking up snow and braving the cold wind. As they approached the gate it became clear no one was waiting for them there yet.
"Oh look, James seems to be late." Sirius pointed out.
Lily rolled her eyes. "He's not late. We're ten minutes early. And we have to be back inside before dark. You know that."
Sirius shrugged and leaned against a tree. "Po-tay-toe, Po-ta-toe."
"And this is exactly why you couldn't come yourself," she poked his chest.
"You wound me," he grinned, catching her finger.
Lily rolled her eyes and snatched her finger back. She gazed out past the gates, looking for James' lone figure coming up the path. No sign of him yet. There was a bit of snow on the ground and Lily formed a small ball.
"Flower, what're you up to?"
Lily gave him a devilish grin and lobbed the snowball at him. "Nothing at all, Sirius."
He easily dodged it. "That was a headshot, Evans! Foul!"
"This isn't Quidditch," she tossed another one, no larger than a tennis ball, at him.
Within a minute they were in an all out snowball war. While the snowballs weren't very big, it made it easier to aim and dodge. It also meant making one took seconds. Snowballs and laughter and half hearted threats filled the late evening air.
Lily leapt sideways as Sirius threw one at her thigh. "Hey, I need my legs!"
"And I don't need my head?" A ball landed on her shoulder.
"Lucky you, you've got two!"
Sirius paused and stared at her a moment before laughing loudly. "You know, Evans, I think I'm corrupting you yet."
She took advantage and aimed one for his arm. "You wish,"
"You're coming along quite nicely actually," Sirius said, rushing her.
He knocked them to the ground, rolling so Lily landed on top of him. Then he rolled her to the side so they were lying on the ground side by side. "Your defensive skills suck, Evans. You could have totally stopped me."
"I'm plenty good at defense thank you! Maybe I just didn't want to stop you."
"Naw. I'm not talking about that class stuff. I mean actual defense. Like duels and dodging spells and protecting yourself. You could have easily threw up a spell or sidestepped me."
"No. You were too fast." Lily frowned. "By the time I'd even considered it, we were on the ground."
"And if I was a Death Eater intent on harming you?" Sirius asked quietly, turning his head to gaze at her. "You'd be kidnapped or dead."
Lily stared at him. Sirius had a point. A damn good one. Hogwarts may be mostly safe for muggleborn witches and wizards, but the very real world she would be graduating into in seven months was dangerous. Voldemort was on the loose, gaining followers all the time, even students in the castle. While Lily had never been a victim of anything more than some rough teasing herself, her friend Mary had been cursed and harmed by student Death Eaters. More than once. And she knew of a handful of other students that had been attacked for being muggleborn over the years.
"There's a dueling club I can sign up for."
Sirius barked. "That thing's a joke. It's all in good fun. You need to learn to be defensive, to hold your own in a duel against someone who wouldn't take it easy on you, but wouldn't harm you either. So you think quick on your feet."
"Are you offering?"
"I think I am, Lily-Flower. What do you say?"
"How do I know you're any good?"
"My word. Marauders' honor." Sirius said. "Please. Let me help you protect yourself. It's a big, scary, bad world out there, Evans."
"Sirius."
He held up a hand. "My father made my brother and I learn how to dodge spells when we were younger." he scowled. " So I got pretty good at doing that. Once I came here I refined that skill. I'm actually pretty damn good."
"Okay,"
Sirius smiled, stood, and held out his hand to Lily. "Excellent. We'll work out the details later, but I think I see James finally. Ten bloody minutes late."