Goldilocks Part Two: A Proper Villain

No one noticed when the Cape dropped into one of the cars on the Monte Carlo. For once the vigilante didn't stick out like a sore thumb, as the gala was a masquerade. He made his way through the crowd of people to where he saw his partner, Orwell, standing. Hermione was wearing the feathered mask she'd hidden her camera in. Harry greeted her and murmured (an unnecessary) reminder for her to make sure that when Goldilocks denounced Snape, she would get it on tape.

Then he continued on and was almost out of the car when someone else caught his eye: Neville Longbottom, Secretary of Prisons, was dressed up as the Cape. They stopped and stared at each other for a moment.

"Longbottom? You're supposed to be…me?"

"Yeah, alright? You know, the theme was heroes and villains, and you kind of made an impression on me, saving my life…"

"I know, I just… I've never had a fan before," Harry admitted. "I like the utility belt," he commented.

"Thanks," Neville said, shifting his feet. Then a thought occurred to him. "Hey, what are you doing on this train?"

Harry stepped past Longbottom and opened the door to the conductor's compartment. As he feared, the real conductor was slumped on the floor, unconscious, but at least still alive.

The Cape gritted his teeth before answering his friend.

"I'm working." With that, he left the car, Longbottom on his heels.

"Wait! What's going on? I want to help you!" The Cape hesitated.

"Look, just keep an eye out for a tall guy wearing a conductor's uniform. He'll be armed with a .38. If you come across him, be careful: He's gangly, but he's mean."

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Severus Snape led Gilderoy Lockhart to where Mayor Cornelius Fudge was sitting, dressed as a villain from an old silent movie. The woman sitting next to the mayor at the bar greeted Snape.

"Hello, Severus!"

"Good evening, Judge McGonagall." Snape introduced her to Lockhart.

"Nice robes, your majesty," Lockhart complimented Minerva on her Cleopatra costume.

"Thank you, and may I commend you on your costume, as well. Are you supposed to be Adonis?" Lockhart's smile faltered.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not wearing a costume."

"Mayor Fudge, this is Gilderoy Lockhart," Snape interrupted. "Lockhart is the head of the Longshoremen's Union. You may know that he is also in the construction business. I'll let him work his magic." Hoping that would appease the git, Snape withdrew.

Goldilocks beamed at the mayor.

"I'm also in the real estate business. Tell me, how much do you currently pay for copper pipe? I pay sixty a ton and can give you a great deal."

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

The Cape walked through another car of the train, passing more people in costumes, including one dressed as the Grim Reaper. In between two cars, he came face to face with Ron.

"Where's Mad-Eye?" Harry demanded. "I need to talk with him."

"Back off, Harry," Ron warned, a hand reaching towards his weapon. "Don't make me use this."

"Ron, damn it, you can't hold up this train! This is my chance! Goldilocks is going to out Snape as Chess…"

"I'm sorry, Harry. It's nothing personal." Ron's statement was followed by a flash of light in front of Harry's eyes courtesy of someone who had come up behind him. That someone turned out to be Sirius, whose costume was that of a guard at Buckingham palace.

"Didn't I tell you not to get cocky?" Sirius asked. A door opened and Neville stepped through it, drawing Sirius' attention. "And you're next, if you don't mind your own business."

With that, Ron and Sirius went into one car, as Neville helped the disoriented Cape into another and over to a seat.

"Are you hurt? Let me get you some water," the concerned secretary said before dashing away. Alone, Harry's vision swam. He could just make out a poster across from him that was supposed to depict the Sierra Mountains. Hmm. He'd taken Al out camping in the mountains for his eighth birthday…

Flashback

Grinning, Harry raced Al to the sleeping bags in front of the campfire. They called it a tie, and then Al's expression became pensive.

"Dad, the parents of one of my friends are getting a divorce, and the father's moving all the way to Wyoming. He'll hardly get to see him anymore!"

"And you're worried something like that will happen to our family?" Harry asked. He'd like to guarantee Al that he and Ginny would be together forever. It was certainly possible; he loved Ginny with all of his heart, but perhaps that's what Mr. Moving to Wyoming once said about his wife. Maybe he shouldn't make a promise that he might not be able to keep…

"No," Al said, shaking his head. He knew how crazy his parents were about each other. They weren't ever splitting up, but still… "But what if I had to go somewhere, like on a long journey by myself and I didn't know which way to go? What would I do?"

"Well, you don't need a compass," Harry said, reassuring his son. "You've got me." Al smiled.

End Flashback

Al looked up from his homework, frowning.

"Hey, Robert?" he called out.

"The name's Remus," Lupin corrected him from where he was squatting out in the hallway, making notes on a legal pad.

"You're a lawyer, right, Robert?" Al asked from the other side of the locked door.

"I'm a defense attorney," Lupin replied, trying to remain patient. "At the moment, I'm a very uncomfortable defense attorney."

"Say the police think you did something bad: What would you have to do to prove you're innocent?"

"You wouldn't. The burden is on the government to prove your guilt. You're presumed innocent and nothing can take that presumption away." Al brightened.

"Really?"

"Really."

"So," Al unlocked the door and held it open enough to poke his head out, "technically, I mean, legally, my dad is innocent?" Lupin nodded.

"That's right," he said and started to rise to his feet, only for Al to recede into the apartment and slam the door behind him. Merlin! He really would have to wait out in the hallway until Ginny got home, wouldn't he?

A moment later, a fruit roll-up was tossed to him through a window over the door. He caught the peace offering and started unwrapping the candy.

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome."

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

The Cape had recovered his equilibrium and was gone by the time Neville returned with the glass of water. Harry had gone in search of Orwell, to make sure she stuck to Snape and that he, in turn, would stick to Goldilocks.

At the moment, Severus Snape was beginning an interview in a car full of reporters. Hermione pushed her way through to the front.

"Now there's no need for pushing and shoving, this isn't a wrestling match," Snape drawled before turning concerned eyes to the young woman in the feathered mask. "Are you alright, miss?"

"I'm fine," Hermione murmured, and then backed up a bit. Standing this close to her father was making her feel uneasy. What if he recognized her?

"Mr. Snape, why did ARK Corporation choose to become the private police force for Palm City?" a reporter called out.

"Let's get one thing straight: ARK didn't choose Palm City; Palm City chose ARK. Since the privatization, crime is down two hundred percent, citizens report feeling safer-"

"That's because of the sweeps!" Hermione interrupted her father. "You're rounding up anyone who even looks suspicious and detaining them illegally in hidden facilities!"

"Sounds like someone's been reading Orwell Is Watching," Severus addressed the crowd of reporters, even as his mind started whirling. "Word to the wise, there's a lot of misinformation on there." The mysterious girl turned and started to make her way back through the crowd and out of the car.

"Looks like she's gone to report to her friend, Orwell," the billionaire added, while deciding to cut the press conference short. "Excuse me." He needed to follow that woman. She looked familiar and her voice had sounded like… but that was impossible…

He followed the woman through the train until he lost her in the car where he had left Goldilocks talking to the mayor. It didn't look as if the conversation was going well.

HPHPHPHPHPHP

Neville Longbottom finally caught up to the Cape between two cars. The vigilante was looking through the window and appeared to be watching a confrontation.

"What's going on?" Neville asked, reaching for the door handle.

"Wait! Give it a minute. I want to see how this unfolds."

HPHPHPHPHPHP

"Best of all, no tax," Goldilocks finished his spiel with a wink and a flash of his dimples. The mayor shook his head and started to move away, but Lockhart wouldn't let him and grabbed his arm. "What's the matter?"

"What you are suggesting is illegal," Mayor Fudge said point-blank.

"Is there a problem here?" Snape asked the mayor.

"Yes, there is. Mr. Snape, this man may be a friend of yours, but-"

"He's no friend of mine. If he's bothering you, I'll have him escorted off the train at the next station."

"You would dare?" Lockhart demanded. Snape inclined his head in the affirmative. "Okay, fine! If that's the way you want it- your majesty, mayor, EVERYONE!" All the heads in the car turned towards Goldilocks. "Your hero, here, Severus Snape, is in reality the notorious murderer known as Chess!" There was a moment of silence. During the pause, Snape's heart clenched and out in the hallway, Harry's soared.

Then the mayor, Judge McGonagall, and the bystanders in the car all started laughing. Snape was quick to join in. The fools thought that Goldilocks was joking or completely mad; perfect!

While the laughter was music to Severus' ears, it infuriated Goldilocks, who pulled out a gun and fired a warning shot. That shut up the stupid snobs.

"You want a villain?" Goldilocks murmured. "I'LL GIVE YOU A PROPER VILLAIN! This is a hold-up. We want your cash and your jewelry, and we'll start with you, your majesty," he nodded to McGonagall. The woman frowned and undid the clasp of her necklace.

HPHPHPHPHPHP

"We've got to do something!" Neville exclaimed.

"We don't. I'll take care of it and you can hide under a chair," the Cape insisted.

"No way; you're not doing this without me." Harry frowned. Longbottom could complicate things. Maybe a little help wouldn't be too bad.

"Alright, fine," Harry handed Longbottom a pistol. "Don't shoot unless you absolutely need to. Go on; I'm ten seconds behind you!"

HPHPHPHPHPHP

The door flew open and Longbottom stood in the entrance, holding up the pistol.

"I am the Secretary of Prisons and I am off the reservation, people!" Neville called, hoping he struck an impressive figure. True to his word, the Cape followed him into the car.

Snape glanced between the Cape and the Cape-wannabe.

"Dear Merlin, they're multiplying!"

While Snape began worrying about his sanity, the Cape convinced Goldilocks that they should take this outside and the two left the car. Or rather, Goldilocks tried fleeing the car, giving his loot to his minions to carry, and climbed onto the top of the train with the Cape in hot pursuit.

Sadly, before Harry could use the cape against the villain, Goldilocks started beating the snot out of him.

"Let me give you a bit of advice," the criminal warned Harry. "Heroes don't always win in the real world.

"And now, let's see if you can fly, blackbird." With that, he tried to heave the Cape off the roof of the train, but the vigilante gripped the side tightly. He glanced down, just in time to see the Grim Reaper he'd passed earlier take off his mask. It was Moody. Harry's eyes widened.

"Mad-Eye! Help me!" he pleaded. Moody just shook his head before following the minions that were carrying the stolen goods. Hadn't he taught the boy anything about constant vigilance? Potter hadn't given the 'Grim Reaper' a second glance before.

Harry felt hurt and betrayed…and a bit worried that his fingers were going to give out as he scrambled for purchase.

Unconcerned about the fate of the hero, Goldilocks climbed down off the roof. Snape was ready for him. He pulled a weapon out of a holster. The sheriff costume looked ridiculous, but it did have its advantages.

"You realize, this means war," Snape drawled. Goldilocks wasn't sure whether the maniac meant because he had held up the train, or because he had denounced him as Chess; he suspected it was the latter.

"Then I guess we're at war," Gilderoy replied. His own weapon trained on Chess, he gestured for one of his men to decouple the caboose, which they were on, from the rest of the train. The distance between the two villains widened as the caboose began slowing to a stop.

Snape replaced the weapon into his holster as the caboose disappeared from sight. This wasn't over…

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Hermione finally found Harry.

"Where have you been?" she demanded.

"Oh, just clinging to the side of the train by my thumbs, you?"

"Speaking with the conductor," who had thankfully regained consciousness. She brought Harry over to speak with the man. "Tell him what you told me."

"The brakes failed when the caboose decoupled. The train's a runaway. You can stop it, but you'd have to cut the brake hose."

"Which is located where?" Harry asked.

"Underneath the train, near the wheels." Harry stared at the man. Seriously?

"Well, can you cut it?"

"Do you think I'm mental?" the conductor asked. Harry sighed. Great; just great. Well, this looked like a job for the Cape, except that it looked like he would need help… Was he really going to do what he was about to do?

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Apparently, yes. The Cape entered the car Severus Snape and his men had retreated to. Several guns were quickly pointed at Harry, including one held by Snape himself.

"Well, well, Cape; we do keep running into each other, don't we?"

"Take it easy. We're on a runaway train." That elicited gasps from a few people. "The train can be stopped, but it's a two-person job, so we're going to need to work together, right, Sheriff?" Snape narrowed his eyes, but put his gun down.

"Right." He started by ditching the stupid hat. Why had he worn it this long? Then he followed the vigilante out of the car.

"Now," the Cape began, "we're going to have to cut the-"

"The brake hose, I know. I'm a mechanical engineer, remember?"

"Er, right."

"I'll lower you down and you can cut it," Snape suggested. The Cape shook his head.

"No way. You're the engineer. I'll lower you down." Snape's lips curved upwards into a smile-probably the first genuine smile he'd had all day.

"You're right. More fun that way." The Cape held onto Severus Snape as he started lowering the bastard underneath the train. Between the angle and the wind whipping past, Harry's hood fell off, revealing his messy black hair. The only thing preserving his secret identity was his mask.

Severus stared at the Cape's face. The younger man looked so familiar, but he just couldn't place him…

"Who are you?" he shouted.

Flashback

Chess was holding the Cape over the side of the ship and threatening him.

"I will find out who you are, I will find out who you love, and I will make them scream," the villain hissed.

End Flashback

"Just cut the damn hose, Snape!"

"Tell me who you are or I won't cut it!"

"I have a better idea: Cut the damn hose or I drop you!"

Author's Note: Sorry, did you guys want to read more? Well, you'll have to let me know, won't you?

So Snape and Harry are teaming up. What could possibly go wrong?

Thank you to Orwell, IronAmerica, and dem bones for reviewing! And of course, thank you to IA for beta-ing the chapter.