Walking Out of The Shadows

Chapter 10

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Continuation of New Years Eve:

Jim sat down beside Sydney and handed her a plate of food. "Bones said to eat," he said.

"Since when do you listen to what anyone says?" she asked as she drank another beer.

Jim laughed. "Well I don't listen when it comes to me, but when it comes to friends, I do," he said as he took the beer out of her hands. "You can have this back when you finish that," he ordered.

"Yes Sir," Sydney answered sarcastically as she took a bite of the hotdog. "You trying to get even for me trying to make you drink coffee that night at we met?"

"I can handle my alcohol, you not so much," Jim informed her. "You know it's alright to be mad at him."

Sydney looked at him. "Mad at who?" she asked.

"Your former Captain, for taking his life," Jim answered.

"He's right, it's alright to be angry," Uhura told her as her, Galia and McCoy sat down.

Sydney shrugged. "That's the thing, I'm not. I know I should be, maybe I was when I was first told, but now, I'm not," she answered as she ate the hotdog.

"You'll feel it tomorrow, you're just numb because of the beer," Galia answered.

"Or it may take you weeks or months to feel it," McCoy told her.

Sydney rolled her eyes. "You guys really need lessons on the whole cheering up thing," she told them. "I don't know what Rich's reason's for taking his life was, I can guess. I've been there, I still have days I wonder why I'm here and they aren't. The only thing I'm mad at is myself for not knowing he was in a bad place. I should have known," she said as she finished the second hot dog and took the beer back from Jim. "Deals a deal," she said.

"You can't read minds, Syd, this isn't your fault," Uhura told her.

"She's right, Syd, you're not a damn mind reader, there was no way of knowing where his mind set was," McCoy told her.

"You two dealt with things differently because you were different people," Galia told her. "Personally, I would be seeking the comfort of someone's arms," she said as she winked at Jim.

Sydney laughed. "Seriously Galia, how do you and Jim make it to classes? I mean he's chasing everything in skirts, and you chasing every male."

"Whose chasing? I get them," Galia said with a grin.

Jim laughed as he slightly bumped her shoulder with his. "I'm not that bad," he told her.

McCoy laughed as he drank his whiskey. "Yes you are," he told his roommate.

"If I'm that bad, then why haven't I slept with three of you?" Jim asked.

Uhura laughed. "Because we have standards?"

"You're not our type?" Sydney asked.

"You haven't tried?" Galia questioned with a wink.

"Galia!" both Uhura and Sydney exclaimed.

"You two are no fun!" Galia responded.

Bones shook his head. "Damn it, the two of you better make sure you keep up with your birth control shots as well as use protection."

"This is a conversation that I really hope that I don't remember in the morning," Sydney told the group.

"You're probably not going to remember much of anything in the morning," Bones told her.

"And that was the plan Doc," Sydney answered as she grabbed another beer. She looked out at the water and saw a long legged blond that reminded her of Martha.

Sydney nodded as she watched the young woman put her bag on the bunk. "It's not much, but it's home," she said to the younger woman.

"You don't think I'm going to last the tour do you?" the blond woman asked.

Sydney looked at her. "Martha, I don't care what other people say, I don't care if they are taking bets, what I care about is if you can cover my six when it needs to be covered. If you worry about what other people are saying, then you need to tell the Captain you want to go home right now, because you aren't going to be any good to any of us. Don't you think I've heard it all? I mean women have come a long way from being thought of all they were capable of is being barefoot and pregnant, but God, let a woman be capable of taking down a man twice her size, and there must be something wrong with her. Law enforcement, security, weapons, it's still a male oriented field, and you, me and the other few women on this base, we have to work twice as hard as the males to get respect. Do I like it? Hell no. You have your own reasons for wanting to do this, and those reason's can be kept to yourself, until you decide you want to share them. But if you listen to the whispers, about your looks, about what's a girl like you doing out here, then you are going to doubt yourself. The captain saw something in you, some spark he saw in all of us, so I know you'll do good."

"A lot of people don't give me a chance, I appreciate it," she told the other woman.

Sydney nodded. "Mandatory phasor training in an hour, let's see what you got," she said as she walked out of the room.

"Hello, are you still with us? You seemed a few thousand light-years away," Jim told her.

"Yeah, sorry just got lost in memories," she said. "What were you saying?" she asked.

"We were saying it's time to do a toast," Galia answered as she stood up.

"A toast? To what?" Sydney asked.

McCoy grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "You really did zone out for a bit didn't you?" he asked.

"Like I said memories," she responded.

"Then this fits perfectly," Uhura answered.

Jim poured them glasses of champagne and handed it to them. "Since the anniversary of my dad's death is a few days ago, and I'm so not going to any memorial, and you just lost someone close to you, thought we'd make a toast."

Syd arched an eyebrow. "Your idea, go ahead," she told him.

Jim held out his glass as the others did the same. "To old friends who are no longer living, those who we keep dear, and to new friends who we make new memories with."

"To friends old and new," they all said as they took a drink.

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