Hospitals were cold places.

One may think that because they deal in saving lives that it can't be viewed like that.

But as Danny sat in the chair for the fourth straight day in a row beside the bed with the unconscious Ryan in it, he hated them. To him they meant nothing but heartache and death and he didn't like any of it.

After the cops and ambulances had arrived at the apartment three days ago, they had loaded TJ onto a stretcher and raced her off and were in the process of putting RJ on one as well but Danny was panicked and scared and didn't want to let her go. They finally pried her away from him but only after there was a call put in to Mac at home that morning telling him there had been multiple gunshots reported at the brownstone and then Danny's frantic 911 call minutes later.

Calling Stella on the way to the apartment, they secured the crime scene and when Mac saw the destruction of it all and Lindsay shot well over five times and dead on the floor it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. But the important thing now was Danny.

Three cops were holding the younger CSI back as he fought desperately to go with RJ as she was wheeled out and once he even got an arm free and his right fist collided with one of the uniform's jaws in an effort to break free. Mac walked over and calmed the boy down, but not before they had the handcuffs on him only to keep him from tearing everyone else around apart. Mac sat him on the couch and demanded the story.

For the third time that morning, the CSI related how he and Ryan were asleep and Lindsay came in with a gun. She threatened to shoot Ry then the baby and then TJ came back from her run and the shooting started.

Mac sighed heavily as he watched the sheet covered body on the floor. "That's it? So she shot the girls?"

Danny nodded, tears streaming down his face. "Mac, she shot 'em! She shot TJ and was going to finish her off when I got her attention and then she started shootin' at me and….I dunno I guess a shot musta bounced from somewhere and it…it…." And his blue eyes shifted to the pool o blood where RJ had been laying beside him.

Stella looked at the body under the sheet and sighed and then went to work counting the bullet holes around. She knew they'd be taken off of the case but that was fine. She didn't want to co come near this one with a 10 foot pole. She walked over to Mac and Danny and stood nearby listening to it all.

"I gotta go to the hospital, Mac…please…." Danny begged softly.

Mac nodded and looked up at Stella. "Can you take him? I'll stay here. I know the brass is going to be crawling all over this one."

Stella smiled and nodded and reached over to help Danny up, ordering the cuffs be taken off and then she took him down to the SUV and to the hospital. They were at the nurses' station in the ER and were told that both girls had been taken to surgery. TJ had lost a lot of blood but the wound didn't look too bad really when it was all cleaned up but RJ…..

"Wh-what?" Danny gulped, eyes narrowing at the older woman.

"We're not sure yet…but you can wait in the room down at the end of the hallway." And she pointed down the way.

Stella wrapped an arm around his shoulders and led the boy down to the designated room and for the next six hours they waited. Finally the doctor came in and told them that TJ would be fine. They stitched her up and were filling her up with more blood and she was going to be in a room in an hour to visit.

"What about….?" Danny asked quietly.

"The detective? Well I haven't heard anything. Let me go see if I can find anything out or you." he said and left the room.

"Well that's good news for TJ," Stella said, a pat to Danny's arm. She had only ever seen him like this once before. When Louie was beaten by the Tanglewood boys. But this time it seemed….different. "She'll be all right, Danny." She said softly.

He merely nodded, more empty than anything.

That had been 3 days ago.

Yesterday they determined that even after a valiant struggle, the baby wouldn't make it and would be stillborn so they took it in a cesarean to make it easier for Ryan to heal and get back to normal, assuring Danny that there would be hardly a scar on her. As if that mattered now.

In a fit of outright rage, Danny was seriously thinking of putting a bullet in his own head. What was the sense of it all? He'd wanted to protect her and his son. He'd been doing a damn good job, too. She'd even done what he'd asked and taken the desk job so he wouldn't…….worry about them.

And or the hundredth time in the last 72 hours he dropped his head and cried.

He didn't talk to anyone. He didn't eat, or leave her side. When he slept, he stayed in the chair even though hospital policy forbid overnight visitors usually, Mac had to pull some strings to get them to allow Danny to stay. He held her hand and willed her to open her eyes. To look at him. To come back to him. Mac, Sheldon, Don, Stella…all came by. Even Adam. But Danny didn't even look up at them.

He had to name the baby for a funeral service and he named him Daniel Dominick Messer, Jr. At least his son would have a headstone and a full funeral. But Danny wasn't going. TJ was awake and knew they both should go, but she also knew he wasn't going to leave RJ. At least until Stella and Mac insisted that he had to be there. So he sat in the front row of the church as the pastor read on about a life taken before it had even had the chance to…….

Well whatever the rest was said. Danny didn't hear it. He'd tuned it all out and just sat there. Empty.

As soon as the thing was over he was back in the hospital. Jerking off the coat and tie and dropping them on the small couch on the other side of the room, he took his place in the chair again and took her hand.

Day five brought slim fingers tightening around his that morning to wake him up and when he looked at her, those green eyes he always got lost in were smiling up at him and he leaped off of the chair and grabbed her in a hug minding the tubes and such and cried all over again. He had her back. Right now that was the best miracle he could have asked for. Smothering her in little kisses and making her laugh, even though it hurt, he pulled back just a bit to look into her eyes and his smile disappeared or a moment. "Ry…" he said softly, but she pressed fingers to his lips and shook her head slightly.

"I know….it'll be all right." The smallest of smiles coming to her lips. "So we try again, hm? And this time get it right…" And those same fingers reached up to brush away his tears.

"I'm so sorry…' he whispered. "I should have—"

"Danny…please…you did what you had to do. And you did it very well…don't worry. After the wedding we can get to work on it right away."

"Yeah but Ry, I—" he started then froze. "Wedding?"

Nod. "I said yes before this whole thing happened." Then a pout. "Didn't you get my IM? That day when you said….." a snort. "Damn message service!"

Danny didn't know whether to shout or cry or jump up and down so he just settled or sitting on the edge of the bed and holding her. "First thing when you're out of here we go to the city clerk and get it done."

"And you think your mother will like that? Her baby boy married by some city official?" she said, teasingly.

"I got something to show you….now I guess we can consider it a wedding present." He said, kissing her temple.

"What is it?"

"You'll see." Evil smirk.

"Danny!"

"Ryan!"

She pouted and he just shook his head. "Works on you, not me…remember? I can take your pout."

"I hate you." she grumbled.

"Of course you do. That's why you're marrying me."

"So let's go now! I wanna see!" she said, bright little grin. She was definitely getting her playfulness back fast.

He shook his head. "Nope! Not till the doctor says yer 100 percent, sweetheart. Then we go to the clerk THEN you get your surprise."

She yawned and snuggled into his arms and her eyes closed. She was tired and she hurt, but she knew the hurt in his heart was far greater and he'd need a lot of time and talk to get over something like this.