Colonel Klink cheered wildly as the room spun around him at a dizzying speed. For the last twenty minutes, he had been spinning in his chair behind his desk. He had attempted to do some paperwork but after five minutes, it had become almost unintelligible to him and so he had to find other ways of occupying his time.
His chair finally came to a slow stop and he was just about to start another spin when the door opened.
"Colonel Klink, I have brought your dinner!"
Klink just looked up at the large man, a mixture of fear and confusion sweeping through him. Who was this man? He looked somewhat familiar, but Klink couldn't quite put his finger on it. Suddenly, it occurred to Klink that he didn't really know where he was. Some sort of office. He looked around, trying to figure out why he was there. The man in front of him was in uniform… a guard… a soldier… a sergeant… Schultz!
Klink let out a sigh of relief. The man was Sergeant Schultz, and he was Colonel Klink, Kommandant of Stalag 13. He remembered now.
"Kommandant Klink, are you all right?" Schultz asked as he set Klink's dinner on his desk and knelt down beside him. "Kommandant?"
Klink drew a shaky breath and shook his head. "Get Hogan." When Schultz didn't immediately move, Klink repeated his demand.
"Jawohl, Kommandant." Schultz got up and, after a quick salute, ran out of the office.
What was happening? Klink grabbed himself as his body started to tremble. He knew the answer to his question. He was starting to forget. His memories were retreating to childhood. Things that had happened forty five years ago were now in the forefront of his mind. He could remember his kindergarten teacher clear as day, while all memories of Schultz were fading into the distance.
Panic swallowed him up and Klink frantically dove under his desk, trying to somehow hide from what was happening. "You're Kommandant Klink of Stalag 13," Klink said to himself as hot tears streamed down his face. "You run the toughest POW camp in all of Germany! Pull yourself together, there's a war going on!"
Even as he repeated his own words to himself, he knew it was hopeless. It was only a matter of time before he forgot everything. He couldn't let that happen. Somehow he had to retain a basic knowledge of his situation. He didn't have to remember the exact day, or what he had for breakfast the other morning, or even how to play the violin. He just had to hold onto his memory of Stalag 13 and his job as kommandant and… Hogan. Yes, he had to remember Hogan. Hogan was the only one who could get him out of this mess, he was sure of it.
"Colonel?" And there he was. Klink let out a loud sob, but made no attempt to leave the safety of his hiding place. After a moment, Hogan's feet stepped into Klink's view and then the rest of Hogan as he crouched down. "Colonel Klink?" He kept speaking, but Klink couldn't understand anything he was saying. Why not? Why wasn't Hogan making sense? This was no time to be joking! This was no time to… speak English.
Klink's eyes widened with horror. He had forgotten how to speak English. This was bad. Very bad. What was he supposed to do now? "Stop!" Klink cried in German. "Stop, I don't understand you!"
Hogan blinked in surprise. For a moment, it looked like he was having an inner debate before he started speaking again. "It's all right. Stop crying. Everything's going to be all right."
The soothing words, spoken in German, almost had the opposite effect as Klink found himself wanting to cry with overwhelming relief. Hogan spoke German! "Oh Hogan!" Klink wailed as he buried his face into his knees. He could hear Hogan curse under his breath and a moment later, he felt Hogan grab him and carefully pull him out from under the desk. Klink clutched onto his jacket and held him tightly. Hogan seemed to tense, but patted his back reassuringly.
Finally, Klink pulled himself together and practically pushed himself away from Hogan. Hogan set him on the ground and Klink took a moment to straighten his new clothes. He cleared his throat and dried his eyes, taking a moment to collect himself before he continued. "I didn't know you spoke German, Hogan."
Hogan just shrugged. "What's wrong, Klink?" he asked, his tone of voice all business. Strangely, it was exactly what Klink needed. He needed Hogan to talk to him on an adult level. It helped him remember what he was supposed to be doing.
"Isn't it obvious? I don't understand English! I had to remind myself who Schultz was! I'm losing my mind! I'm forgetting everything except my childhood memories! Hogan, what are we going to do?"
Hogan pushed his cap off his head and ran his fingers through his hair. "The same thing is starting to happen to my men too. LeBeau is barely making any sense any more. But, Colonel, I don't know what to do. I don't even know if there's a way to return you guys to normal."
It wasn't what Klink wanted to hear. And he especially didn't want to hear it from Hogan. Hogan was supposed to be able to fix any problem. How many times had he kept him off the Russian front? How many times had he saved him from Frau Linkmeyer? "Hogan, you have to think of something! Anything!"
"I'm working on it, Klink. But there just might not be anything I can do about it."
Klink slumped in defeat. "I don't want to be a child," he sighed after a moment. "I didn't like being a child the first time around. And with everything going on now-" he glanced quickly at the portrait of the fuehrer by his desk- "what a horrible time to be young."
"I don't know about that. This just might be the perfect time to have a shell of youthful ignorance." There was a pause before Hogan cleared his throat. "Jellybean?" he offered as he pulled a small bag from out of his pocket and knelt down to Klink's level.
"Jellybean? How can you think of food at a time like this?"
Hogan shrugged. "Might cheer you up."
Klink gave him a doubtful look, but took a handful anyway. "Thank-you." He noticed that Hogan hadn't looked up from the jellybeans in his hand. "Is something wrong, Hogan?"
"Jellybeans," Hogan whispered. "That's crazy though. Impossible."
"What's impossible, Hogan, what?" Klink eyed the jellybeans suspiciously.
"I was just thinking, Carter was munching on these yesterday… Maybe they have something to do with the fact he's not as young as everyone else."
Klink gave Hogan a sceptical look. "That is crazy." He put a hand to Hogan's forehead. "I think you're a little warm. Say 'ah'."
"Some other time, Klink. I've gotta go."
"But wait!" Klink cried when Hogan got up to leave. Hogan paused and looked back at him expectantly. He couldn't let Hogan just leave him. Who was going to tuck him in? No- he didn't need to be tucked in, Klink berated himself. But he didn't want to be left on his own in any case. Being around Hogan would help him remember who and what he was. Left to his own, he might forget to remind himself of what was going on. He supposed he could get Schultz to stay with him, but it wouldn't be the same. Schultz was Schultz and Hogan was… well, Hogan.
Klink fumbled with his words as he continued. "I can't stay by myself. I'll forget."
With a sigh, Hogan crossed his arms over his chest and grabbed his elbows. "Get Schultz to stay with you."
"But Schultz… Schultz won't…" He gave up trying to explain feelings he didn't even understand. He just didn't want Schultz.
"Klink, what's General Burkhalter going to say when he finds out you spent the night sleeping with your prisoners?"
"The same thing he'll say when he finds out I'm a child, I suppose. Besides, I don't have to go to your barracks; you can stay here," Klink suggested hopefully.
Hogan shook his head. "I'm not going to leave my men by themselves."
"But there are plenty of men in camp that can watch your barracks for the night." Klink's tone of voice became desperate.
Hogan muttered something in English. "Klink, it's not going to work. I can't-"
Klink clasped his hands together under his chins and opened his eyes real wide, allowing them to water up with tears. "Please!" Hogan tried to look away, again muttering in English. Klink dropped onto his knees. "Please!"
"Klink, you're embarrassing yourself." Klink didn't care and so he didn't let up on his attack. "Oh all right! Stop looking at me like that!"
Obediently, Klink put on a less threatening expression. If he had known Hogan had been such a push-over for a pathetic face, he would've tried it a long time ago. For what, he wasn't sure, but it was useful information nonetheless.
"All right, eat your dinner. Can you find your way to my barracks?"
Klink shot him a dirty look. "Of course I can! What do you take me for?"
"Don't tempt me with questions like that, Kommandant." Hogan looked back down at his bag of jellybeans. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta see a man about some candy."
"Hogan?" Klink said before Hogan could leave. "Do you really expect me to believe those are magic beans?"
"Why not? I expected you to believe the water was from the fountain of youth. And look how right I was with that."
Klink couldn't argue with that. "Sometimes, Hogan, I think you say things and Fate just decided to plays along."
Hogan looked down at the jellybeans and then upwards. "From your lips to Fate's ears, Klink."