Return of the Waldorf
Chapter 10
Day 10: Sunday
It is Sunday morning and Blair Waldorf is sleeping peacefully on her Queen-sized bed. Her chest rises and falls, her breath even, and the faint smile on her face suggests that for once Queen B is actually relaxed and carefree.
Which is ridiculous, of course. There is no time when Queen B is not scheming and plotting.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
Blair gropes blindly on her nightstand, finally snatching her phone. She brings it to her ear and listens, her eyes still shut to the sun coming through the blinds.
"Hello?" Blair asks blearily.
"Good morning, Queen B," Iz greets her cheerily. "I got some news for ya."
Blair yawns. "Uh-huh."
"Hazel's parents withdrew her from school."
Blair's eyes snap open as she sits up in bed, shocked. "Already?"
"They called Ms. Tedrow last night," Iz confirms. "They were practically begging the headmistress to make the withdrawal effective by Monday."
"Good," Blair smiles in satisfaction.
Iz also grins from the other end of the phone line. "Gossip Girl doesn't even have this news yet," Iz informs Blair. "I figured I ought to let you now first before I text it in."
"Well, I appreciate it," Blair thanks her friend. She doesn't bother to ask how Iz found out. The magic is in the mystery, after all.
"Good to know," Iz says jokingly. "Look, I've got to go. Things to do, people to-"
"People to out, I know," Blair interrupts with a laugh. "Go gossip. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"On the steps of the Met," Iz answers, referring to the usual lunch spot of the Queens of Mean.
Blair hears a click in the speaker and knows that Iz has hung up, off to do the dirty work of the gossip princesses of the Upper East Side.
It was strange how one could just tap a few buttons on one's phone to ruin somebody's life.
'Tis the world of Gossip Girl.
Blair smiles at the thought of how she has exploited Gossip Girl to her advantage. Gossip Girl may have brought her down originally, but she rose back up by making new headlines. It is just the balance of life: Gossip Girl giveth, Gossip Girl taketh away.
Her Mean-Girls-inspired plans worked surprisingly well.
Jenny and Hazel's insecurities ran rampant thanks to Blair's choice comments about their wardrobe, easily nullifying their rockin' bodies.
Blair effectively made Hazel and Jenny romantic lepers, taking away any chance of a hot boyfriend. No guy wanted to date them, especially after "The Life and Times of a Skank-in-Training" went live. Blair grins, remembering that. That was a particularly inspired move by Iz.
And of course, their Army of Skanks was easily the most important piece on the entire chessboard. After all, without the defections of Kati, Iz, and practically the entire newly minted Queens of Mean, how could Blair have possibly staged such a comeback?
Blair smirks in satisfaction. This little episode will certainly go down in Gossip Girl history.
Suddenly, Blair's phone buzzes in her hand and jerks Blair out of her musings. Blair glances down at the Caller ID. It is Serena.
Blair answers the call. "Hey, S, what's going on?"
Blair hears a sigh over a lot of background noise. She decides not to mention any of it. "Is it horrible of me to be mean to Jenny Humphrey?"
"What?" Blair asks, shocked. "Of course not."
Serena sighs again. "I know, it's just…I mean, she is Dan's sister."
Blair shrugs, grabbing a bottle of red O.P.I. toenail polish from her desk. She scrunches her comforters to the other side of the bed and begins to give herself a pedicure. "So? She deserves it. Besides, not even Dan likes her right now."
"But this now is different, Blair. She isn't exactly popular anymore; she's lost everything."
"And your point is…?"
"I dunno, I guess it's sort of like kicking someone when they're down."
Blair carefully paints her pinky toe. "S, no offense, but what brought this sudden surge of sympathy for Jenny on?"
Serena sighs for the third time. "Well, I went shopping today and I ran into Jenny. And I guess I gave her a weird look or something-she seemed really paranoid or something-"
Blair snorts at this. Of course Jenny is paranoid. Gossip Girl's cronies are everywhere, dying for a shot of Jenny Humphrey crumbling under the pressure.
"Because then she greeted me very snottily and I just didn't want to put up with it, you know?"
"Um, yeah. That's how I feel whenever I'm around her."
"Blair!" Serena groans. Blair hears a bunch of clanking noises in the background on Serena's end. "You have to understand how horrible I feel. I really went off on her! I was listing like every fault and transgression."
"Did you mention how her eyeliner makes her look like a raccoon?" Blair asks curiously.
"I didn't mean to!"
Blair cheers inside.
"And then Nate came up afterwards and told me what a backstabbing bitch I was and he just made me feel so guilty-"
Suddenly, there is a loud crash coming through the tiny speaker on Blair's phone. She looks at it, concerned. "Serena? What happened?"
It is a few moments before Serena responds, a little breathless. "Nothing, nothing," she chirps. "One of the moving guys just collided with the doorway, and as it turned out he was carrying some crystal vases and my mom is freaking. But all is totally copacetic."
"Serena, what in the world is going on wherever you are?" Blair asks, very confused.
Serena, still panting, responds. "Oh, we're moving in with the Basses today, so everything is a little hectic."
Blair raises her eyebrows even though she knows that Serena cannot see her. "I'll say."
Both girls giggle but Serena quickly returns to a state of seriousness.
"For real, Blair, I need your advice on this," Serena pleads. "I mean, how do I treat Jenny? Or even Nate, for that matter?"
Blair rolls her eyes. It is all so simple, but Serena always insisted on being nice to people she didn't have to, which changes the equation. "Well, be polite to Jenny, but never say more than you have to," she instructs. "Same with Nate."
"But we've been friends with Nate since we were five years old!"
"He's the one who betrayed us," Blair says, conveniently leaving out her sleeping with Chuck. "He chose Jenny over us. He's not worth it."
Serena's mouth quirks in indecision. "You think so?"
They are both quiet for a minute while Serena ponders. In the background Blair hears Chuck's muffled voice and she is ashamed to admit to herself that it makes her shiver in excitement.
"Hey, B, thanks for the advice," Serena says sincerely. "Look, Chuck wants the phone now so remind him to give my cell back when you two are done, okay?" Her words carry just a hint of innuendo in them that Blair chooses to ignore.
"Love you, S!" Blair shouts as Serena hands over the phone.
"Hey Blair." Chuck's voice is rough and tired from a day of supervising the clearly sub-par moving guys. They had broken two lamps and three china dishes and it was Chuck who had to break the news to Lily.
Blair's lips tingle in anticipation of the lovely things that Chuck usually did to them even though, logically, he couldn't do them right now, seeing as they weren't in the same room. "Hey, Bass," she greets him as casually as she can.
"How's it going?" Chuck asks, trying to ease into a conversation with Blair. He isn't sure where they stand, even though they spent the entirety of yesterday morning in bed together.
"Good," Blair responds nervously. "You?"
"Good," Chuck answers. He pauses. "So, do you want to hang out tonight?"
Blair bites her lip. "Chuck?"
"Yeah?" Chuck is suddenly scared that Blair will take everything back.
"Can we take this…slow?" She asks almost shyly, afraid of his response.
Chuck exhales. "Of course we can," he tells her. He should have realized that after being burned by Nate and him so many times that she would naturally be nervous about jumping back into a relationship.
"I mean, we are still in an exclusive relationship," Blair clarifies. "This isn't an opportunity for you to go off and get laid with some skank, Bass. I just…need a little bit of time before we go public and everything."
"I'll wait for you, Blair," Chuck reassures her. He thinks for a moment. "So, a date tonight is out, then?"
Blair nods and says, "Yeah. But maybe you could come over after school tomorrow and we could study or something?"
"Study?" Chuck smirks. "Sure."
If Blair had been standing next to Chuck, she would have whacked him. "Bass, please do not cast aspersions on my virtue," she informs him. "Hey, I gotta go, will I see you tomorrow?"
"I'll be in super-secret relationship mode," Chuck confirms with a chuckle.
Their voices soften as they make their good-byes. Even though there are no declarations of love as yet, the unspoken sentiments linger in the air long after the phone call ends and Chuck has returned Serena's Sidekick.
Later that night, Chuck is sitting at his desk doing his homework. As usual, he has left everything to the last minute and is thus racing through his Pre-Calculus problem set.
He is startled when his father walks through the door and perches on the end of his bed.
"Chuck, I just wanted to thank you," Bart tells his son. "Not only are you being a great sport about Lily and her children moving in, but you really helped me with the Rodriguez deal last Wednesday. We are in the final stages of processing that deal now." His eyes narrow. "I expect this good behavior to continue?"
Chuck cocks his head and smirks. "Of course, father," he smarms. "Lending a hand with the Rodriguezes was nothing."
Bart looks at him dubiously. "I noticed you lent more than just a hand to Ms. Waldorf after the dinner," he points out as Chuck's eyes widen involuntarily. "I went to find the maitre d' when you didn't come back after fifteen minutes and he informed me that you were ensconced in the family restroom with Ms. Waldorf."
Although Chuck is embarrassed at being caught by his father, it could certainly be worse. After all, his father understood these sorts of things. He settles for a neutral expression. "What of it?"
Bart appraises his son briefly. Chuck is doing his best to appear casual, but his tensed jaw muscles and arms crossed defensively suggest someone worried about his father's judgment.
"I just hope you don't screw it up," Bart pronounces finally. "Ms. Waldorf will be good for you and even though I'm sure she deserves someone far better-" Chuck wryly nods in agreement as Bart continues. "She has chosen you, and you should remember how lucky that makes you. You'd have to be an idiot to fuck this up," Bart explains in his polished high society voice.
Father and son exchange knowing glances before Bart rises and leaves. Chuck sits there for a minute, thinking, his pencil tapping absentmindedly on his math paper.
Is Blair Waldorf really worth all of this trouble? He grins. Damn straight.
--Fin--
Author's Note: Wow, we are hitting the end you guys! This is the final chapter of the story and the only thing left will be the epilogue. Thanks to my beta, maz4pj, and thank you to everybody who has reviewed so far. You guys totally inspired me to keep going through this marathon-writing event and I really appreciate it! :)
Now, is it so much to ask for just one more review? (err…two since I'll be begging you next chapter as well. Shhh!) begs