The Demon Barber is Alive!
Chapter 10: A Rug!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter is set two months after the last one but nothing out of the ordinary has happened.
He had it this time. Why did it take me so long to figure it out…?
Befoul his beloved razors, no…never!
Burning her hadn't worked…but he had it now…the only way to finally rid himself of the…pie hag….was to…
ROLL HER UP IN A CARPET AND THROW HER OFF A BRIDGE!!!
He leaps up with joy and starts singing to a razor,
"Oh, Mrs. Lovett…Goodbye Forever…I said I loved you but I don't and I will never!"
His voice softens and he loosens his grip on the razor, "Goodbye…Mrs. Lovett, the end is nigh, maybe you thought we would touch the sky…live by sea but oh Mrs. Lovett it can never be…" He looks at his reflection in the razor and sees a single tear dripping down his icy skin.
What's wrong with me?
I can't grow all sentimental over the pie hag!
Once I'm finished I'll be free of her nagging and weird obsession with me!
Then I can even rid myself of her rat-boy!
Yes…it'll be just me and my lamb, Johanna, just the way we were…but without Lucy…
The barber pockets the razor and goes downstairs to search for a rug.
Mrs. Lovett was taking some time off to shop around for a new dress, one that would impress Mr. T…something with lace…and perhaps a satin ribbon.
Suddenly a beautiful dress catches the baker's eye, it is blue and white with fluted, lace sleeves and is embellished with navy satin ribbons around the bustle…unfortunately somebody is already wearing it.
It is a, pale, blonde woman, with a chest barely half the size of Mrs. Lovett's.
As the woman turns the street corner, Mrs. Lovett slips a small dagger from her bodice and stalks the women.
The blonde turns into a dark alley way.
Where on earth is she going? Going down an alley like this is very convenient for me but I can't help but wonder that she knows I'm here…
The woman turns swiftly, "May I assist you?" Her voice is firm.
"Oh, yes, love," Mrs. Lovett smiles.
"With, what, exactly?" The woman purses her lips.
With that the baker runs at the woman and crash tackles her to the cobbled pavement.
Carefully, Mrs. L stabs the woman in the neck, now I know how Mr. T must feel…she is very careful not to let the blood drip down to the dress and stabs the woman again and again.
"Aar…aargh…" the woman drifts away.
Mrs. Lovett strips the dress from the woman's un-shapely figure, here's something I won't be able to fit in my bodice.
So leaving the dress and woman there, Nellie runs from the alley and back to the street where she had placed her shopping basket before pursuing the blonde.
She races back to her dress and folds it neatly into her basket she takes one last grimace at the undressed woman and says, "Thankyou, love," and walks off as normal.
Toby is looking up at the framed picture of Mrs. Lovett's late husband whom she always refers to as her 'dear Albert'.
He had been a large man and Toby found himself aimlessly wondering whether he had grown so fat from his wife's pies.
The boy's thoughts were interrupted were interrupted by someone coming inside, Johanna.
"Oh, Toby, hello," her voice is friendlier than usual and she looks happy.
"Hello, Jo," Toby acknowledges her with the nickname he just decided to give her.
"I…it's been two months since Anthony left London," she bites her lip.
Toby takes a sip of gin.
"He sent me a letter, saying he'd be back here tomorrow but only for an hour…I…I'm going to go with him on his ship because I miss him so much,"
"'Ave you told, Mr. Todd?" He looks up at her, confused.
"No…I'm only telling you because I don't think you'll tell anyone…I can trust you, can't I?" she smiles.
"Yes, Jo, I'm not very smart up 'ere," he points to his head, "But I can keep a secret."
"Thankyou, Toby," she hugs him and rushes out, possibly to pack her bags.
Sweeney has been searching the entire house for a suitable rug or carpet and he has finally found one he likes.
It is large, big enough for the pie hag, an ugly mustard colour, so it won't be used in the house and has grey tassels around the edges.
Now all I have to do is find that…woman...and roll her up in this and throw her off a bridge…but what bridge and how on earth will I get her there?
He looks down and realises that he is absentmindedly stroking the razor in his hand.
By now Mrs. Lovett is getting tired and considering leaving the markets and going home but then she notices a fortune teller's stall, she can't resist and makes for the stall quickly.
"How much, love?" she asks the vendor.
"That'll be tuppence," he doesn't smile.
"Bit, pricey, aint it?" she whispers to her self, reluctantly handing over the money.
"Go on in, Trinity will be at her table,"
She walks, nervously, into a small tent and sees a young woman wearing a gold turban.
"I have been expecting you," the woman uses a typical fortune teller's opening line, "sit."
Nellie sits and holds put her hand out. The woman takes it and looks at it for a few moments.
"Mmmm…..no…no…this isn't right…"
With a dazed look the woman continues, "YOU ARE IN DANGER! CHERISH WHAT YOU HAVE BEFORE IT BETRAYS YOU!!!!
I SEE A RUG!!!!! A RUG!"
The woman collapses against the table puffing.
Mrs. Lovett rushes out, clearly Trinity is mad! A rug? Couldn't she have been a bit more creative!
"Toby!" The barber calls the boy.
"Comin'" Toby sets down his glass of gin and runs up to Mr. Todd's tonsorial parlour.
The boy reaches the door and comes in.
"Toby, when Mrs. Lovett comes home, send her straight up…actually no..wait." He walks to his dresser and writes a note
Nellie,
Come up to my parlour, at once!
I wish to discuss our relationship with you.
I love you, your body, your voice and your heart. Keep everyone else downstairs I wish to make this meeting a very, very intimate and romantic one.
Until then I will wait in longing for you, my love.
With love from, Mr. Todd.
He folds the note in half, once and gives it to Toby, "Give this to her right away when she gets back, do you understand?
"Yes, sir," Toby takes the note and rushes back to his gin.
It is almost six p.m and Mrs. Lovett walks into her shop with her shopping basket.
"Ma'am, I 'ave a note for you!" Toby pushes it into her hand.
She reads it quickly. I knew it! I knew it was only a matter of time before he realised that he loved me!
The baker runs to her room to change to her new white dress. It fits perfectly hugging her chest and hips. She walks up to his parlour, the full moon shining upon her auburn hair.
Sweeney is waiting by the door the carpet at his side and Mrs. Lovett's rolling pin, which he stole from downstairs, in his cold hand.
She opens the door and says, "I got your note Mr. T," she is too infatuated to notice that he's holding her rolling pin.
"Good," he stares straight at her, trying not to lose himself in her eyes, perhaps there had been some truth to that letter.
"I read what you said about having a romantic, intimate meeting," she strokes his hair and giggles, "It sounds like a good idea."
"I thought so, too," he kisses her neck, the ecstasy of his lips consume her and with that, he hits her over the head with the rolling pin. "Bloody, Fucking, PIE HAG!" He spits.
He hits her a few more times for good measure and takes her semi-unconscious body and rolls it up in the carpet.
He pours himself a cup of coffee from his faithful kettle and drinks while considering what bridge to drop her off and how to get there.
Tower Bridge, yes it's not to far away and if the drop doesn't kill her the unforgiving waters below will…
He glares down on the rug and strolls down stairs to the dark street. A dog sniffs at his ankles, "Shoo, scat," he hisses at the dog and it flees. A carriage pulled by a large, important looking horse is going past.
"Stop! You, there, stop," he yells at the coachman.
The man leans forward, settling the horse and looks at the barber, "Lookin' for a lift, sir?"
"Of course I bloody, well am! Well, I mean…a lift would be great!" he smiles and continues, "I… I have some extra baggage, will that be alright?"
"As long as I don't 'ave to do any heavy liftin', me ol' back give out a couple years back," he drops the reigns and strokes a bushy, dark beard.
"I'll be right back!" Sweeney rushes excitedly up to his parlour. Mrs. Lovett is squirming slightly in the rug.
He grabs the rolling pin from where he left it on his chair. He looks down at the Mrs. Lovett shaped body in the rug and hits it a few times, as hard as he can, she stops moving.
He scoops up the rug, it is heavy, he gasps and almost drops her. He unrolls the carpet and looks down, that dress must way a ton!
He reaches down to take of the blue and white monstrosity and fails.
There is no point of exit from the dress so he takes his razor and in a last attempt to lighten the dress, rips the skirt into shreds…and still it doesn't budge.
He gives up and rolls her body back up in the carpet, takes a deep breath and drags her downstairs.
Thunk, thunk, thunk, her body hits the steps as he drags her down.
He tucks in a few strands of her auburn hair and walks over to the coachman, "Where, should I put her, I mean...it," he nods down at the rug.
"Ain't no room in the back you'll 'ave to put that thing on your lap and I almost forgot a lift will be thruppence,"
The barber silently hands over the money and gets into the carriage.
"Where are you hoping to go?" The man gets the horse moving and they set off down the street.
"Tower, Bridge, my friend," the barber strokes his streak in thought.
"Well, I can take you as far as St. Paul's cathedral…how's that sound?" He frowns.
"Fine," they both grow silent and the horse moves through London at a steady pace.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know. I know this chap took 4ever! But I hope u like it!! Will Sweeney really throw the mustard carpet from the bridge, oh and Mrs. Lovett, what happens when Johanna joins Anthony and will anything interesting ever happen to Toby? Find out in Chap 11: Coming soon to a computer near you!