A/N: Long time, no update, bad me…anyway, I hope you enjoy this final installment. This is Mai/Shizuru centric...
Dreamweaver
Chapter 10
I wish I could say that bliss was my only experience when it came to dealing with Mai.
Unfortunately, that would be an outright lie. Learning to love her was a difficult thing to do. I had to suppress my need for control, and teach myself when to back down. There were times I had to wordlessly accept the truths Mai that would admit to me. It wasn't always easy, and, I wasn't always kind.
The only saving grace was that her nature was stronger than Natsuki's.
She might not have been physically powerful. Emotionally she was a crier on more occasions than one, but she was predictable. I valued that. It became a routine I understood unflinchingly. Her needs were always so clear, always something I could at least categorize for later interpretation.
Her strength was a willingness to talk. A solid desire to speak what most found to be unimportant. She took to placing her fears before me openly. They became part of my very being. More than I ever could have imagined, I adapted to her needs. Her fears became mine, and mine became hers. There was a strangeness to that, it surged through my blood. For a long time, I struggled with how to deal with those scattered emotions.
After all, it was new territory, entirely.
Natsuki was never a talker, and kept things at arm's length. She was content to change herself on her own. She never really wanted, or needed my opinion. Surely, I offered it, but only in passing, and fully aware that she would brush me off.
Mai was different. She wanted to change the world with everyone at her side. Her desires of me were clear, and I would be unable to twist or taint those things. Doing so, would be the selfsame as casting Mai aside entirely. She made that fact clear as crystal. If I wanted to be with her, I had to dance to her tune, because Mai would always be focused on what was best for everyone, not merely herself.
Thankfully, my direct need to shelter and protect Mai flourished over everything else. She would cool my temper, quelling the storm I'd sometimes unknowingly build around myself. In her carefree sort of way, she didn't mind shrugging off the little things. In that, I realized how meaningless the two of us really were in the grand scheme. How precious her heart had become to me, even though the universe around us couldn't bring itself to care at all.
As a former HiME, that realization allowed me to breathe again.
…
Amidst the chaos of daily life, mornings were Shizuru's favorite time of day. There was something distinctly satisfying about watching her lover sleepily meander around the room to go about her morning routine. Shizuru wasn't sure exactly why that was, but took comfort in the feeling.
There was any number of reasons.
It could have been the way that tousled carrot colored tresses sat unkempt atop Mai's head. Or, maybe the way that she seemed to lack any sense dignity as she leaned on the counter. It might have been the aggravated roll of her eyes as she gave up on the tea steeping in the pot so that she could fix her wet strands of hair.
Even tiny things were a new sight to behold, and Shizuru viewed those actions with great amusement.
It was true that she sometimes had a hard time separating Mai's little habits from Natsuki's, the two shared a great deal of little quirks. They both seemed to blast the same kind of music in the morning shower, and it soon became clear that Mai was equally unwilling to relinquish the mirror before she was good and ready. They were both picky about their underwear, though for Mai it was more out of necessity than anything else.
Yet another cherry on top was that they both had a tendency to cuddle things in their sleep.
"How do the two of you manage to get ready every day?" Shizuru asked one morning when Mai left the bathroom door wide open, a towel wrapped around her otherwise nude form. She took a hairdryer to her short locks with a vengeance. "It's probably a fight just to use the bathroom."
"We all just sort of cram ourselves in there, to be honest." Mai said as she shrugged. "Mikoto bathes at night, so that helps. Between Natsuki and I, first come, first serve."
"Natsuki's not a morning person." Shizuru said with a soft laugh. "You are."
Mai gave her a sleepy look. "I tolerate mornings, but I don't exactly love them."
"Fair enough." Shizuru relented, realizing the truth of the statement. She gazed over at the clock, noticing that she didn't have to actually be awake for several hours. "What would you like for lunch today?" Instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, she got up to pull the drapes open. The sun flooded in, casting the room in an orange glow.
Mai winced as it pushed away the shadows. "I think I'm just going to meet up with Chie and Aoi in the cafeteria." The remark was a casual one that accompanied a rather mundane truth. "I haven't had the chance to thank them for keeping an eye on Mikoto."
Shizuru had to force herself to think about it more solidly. Mai had been staying over more often, and somewhere along the line, her modesty had drifted away from her, dissipating into nothingness. Shizuru was sure that Mai was like that with everyone she trusted, and yet, that unguarded nature seemed different somehow. Shizuru could only bring herself to further ponder the beauty of Mai's body, sipping on some tea to occupy herself.
As she trailed her gaze over luscious curves no longer concealed by a pesky towel, she realized the magnificence of the action. For Mai, getting dressed in the company of others was probably little more than casual thing. Shizuru didn't have any doubts about it. Mai wasn't at all shy about the fact that she routinely shared baths with others, and Natsuki ranted all the time that Mai barged in on her personal space. Even so, the moment was made special due to the short lingering moments between every tiny movement.
"You do sneak over quite a bit, don't you?" Shizuru murmured as she set her tea off to the side. "Who exactly covers for you?"
"Yukino looks the other way." Mai laughed as she considered her top one more time in the mirror. "It makes dorm life easier now that Haruka isn't patrolling the halls."
Shizuru smiled as she stifled a laugh. "Well, she certainly doesn't rule the roost around this dorm, that's for sure."
Mai nodded, having seen the blond in passing a few times, although she seemed subdued. "Why do you think that is?"
"Older group of students." Shizuru shrugged. "It's not just teenagers that study here, middle aged adults do too. It's a bit hard to lecture someone almost a decade older than you."
"She got her butt handed to her, didn't she?" Mai said with a laugh, her mind having a hard time picturing it.
"That is one way to put it, I suppose." Shizuru laughed, a small shrug lifting her spirits. "I wouldn't tell her that, it would send her into a fit."
"Maybe you're right about that." Instead, her mind centered on something far enough away to prove difficult. "Shizuru…about us…"
The pause in the room made both women realize the nature of their discussion. Shizuru put down her tea, quietly waiting as the woman in front of her formulated her question. The hesitancy in the air was so thick that it became jarring. Shizuru had grown used to such an uneasy feeling over time, but it didn't soothe her any less.
"I don't want many things in my life." Mai said quietly after a few moments. "It's just that, the things I do want, those are things that I really want to reach for." With a deep breath, eyes closed, Mai blurted out the one thing she wanted above all else. "I've always had to think about my life in far reaching ways. Things like kids, families, the job I'm going to take, or even just the place I'm going to call home."
"You worry about this now?" Concerned, Shizuru found herself at odds once again with the power of money. It was easy to forget the truth. Mai was in an entirely different world. "Those are things that I would assume to be the least of your worries."
"Why wouldn't I worry?" Mai asked quietly. "They've always been the fears I carry. Deep down, I want that little house, kids playing in the grass, and the car sitting in the driveway." She swallowed hard as she shook her head. "More than all of that, stability...or rather, not having that terrifies me."
"If I were you, I'd fear the spotlight of prestige." Crimson eyes met violet, ever so slowly. "You'll stay with me, it isn't even a question. It's what I'd come to expect of you. I'd want you by my side, if you'd stay."
"It never occurred to me to think like that." Mai rationalized, even feeling a little guilty.
"There will need to be a Fujino to carry the line eventually." Shizuru murmured quietly. "If I do, or do not take my inheritance, it truly doesn't matter. I'm not the kind of person to idly spend my days as an obedient housewife." After a nod, mostly to herself, she stood from her place. "In fact, I'm almost positive that if I were to branch off, that I would still seek to build my own company."
"Those are some very lofty goals." Mai admitted.
"I don't deny it." Shizuru agreed softly. "However, goals are to be strictly that, aren't they?"
"That's true." Mai agreed. "Then, that's the future you want, for the both of us?"
"That is what I want…yes." Shizuru remained quiet for a very long time, gazing out into the blue sky, and busy campus. "I'm not going to say it…that word, even if I do feel that way about you. Instead, I'll simply ask that you stand by me, in everything that I do. I promise to do everything in my power to never let you down, and, to see that your own dreams and desires are within your reach too." Without even looking at the woman of her affections, she asked once more. "Would you do that, Mai?"
"Of course I will." Mai, licked her lips, nodding weakly. "My parents used to tell me, when dreams become nightmares, you make a new dream. When they died, I began equating that saying to life…believing that when a dream becomes neither nightmare, nor fantasy, you make it your reality." Maybe it was a little silly to think of it like that, her brother often told her as much. "I think, when those murmured wishes are shared between two people, protected by the warm embrace of another, you call it love…even if you say it, or not. The feeling is still there."
"Well then Mai, I suppose you don't have to worry after all."
"No, Shizuru, I suppose I won't."
The clock on the table began to sound an alarm, singling the start of their new day. Mai grabbed her bag, her coat, and the spare dorm key Shizuru had acquired for her. A quick kiss, a fond glance, and Mai was out the door in the same manner that Shizuru had become accustomed too, saying that she'd be back later.
The tawny haired woman wished, at that single moment in time, that every morning from then on could be the same way.