Chapter 10

"We need to talk." Rachel said, looking up at Finn's confused eyes. She was scared. This time, it was a good scared. This could be the day that all of her dreams finally come true. She just hoped it wouldn't be screwed up.

"Can I come in?" She asked.

"Um, yeah sure." He said, standing to the side so she could walk past him. As she walked in, he closed the door behind her.

"So, what brings you here?" He asked, watching her take off her coat and put in on the rack, along with her scarf and gloves.

"Can we go sit down somewhere? How about that cafe up the street? The one with the good coffee.." She said grabbing her coat, scarf, and gloves.

"Wh-? Rachel, you couldn't have just asked me to meet you there? What is up with you today? You seem off.." He said, looking down at her with concerned eyes.

"Finn, can we please just go? I'll answer any questions when we get there. Please." She begged standing by the door.

"Okay. Let me grab my coat." He said, turning to the coat rack.

As they walked across the street and further a little ways, Rachel couldn't help but hold her breath. What if tonight ended in a total mess? one thing was for sure. After tonight, they would never be the same. Things would change from here.

Once they arrived to the cafe, Finn and Rachel both set their orders of coffee, which then left them to the real reason why they came here. To talk.

"Okay. What's so important that I had to leave my house to hear?" Finn asked, crossing his arms and looking at Rachel.

"You're doing good right? I mean, with Mandy and all?" She asked, looking down at her coffee cup.

"Rach, you dragged me all the way over here to ask me about my love life?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Just, Finn, please answer the question.." She whispered.

"Why should I? It's not like you're answering any of mine. What is up with you?" He asked.

"Please.." She asked.

"Fine. No, I broke things off." He admitted.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because, things were never going to work with us.. I kind of have someone else in mind."

"Do I know her?" Rachel asked, tensing up in her seat.

"What are we, in kindergarten?" He asked.

"I just want to know if I've ever met her.." Rachel said.

"No. Her name is Rebecca. I met her at a bar a few weeks ago, when Puck and I went. You'd probably really like her." He smiled. It was totally obvious that he was lying. He never really was good at it.

"You're lying to me.." Rachel said, looking at him across the table.

"What?" he asked, he seemed confused.

"After work today, I stopped by Brittany and Santana's." she stated. Finn's eyes went wide as she's ever seen them.

He didn't say anything. He just waited for her to continue what she had to say.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, her voice was barely able to be heard.

"Tell you what?" He asked, trying to seem oblivious to what they were talking about.

"Stop it! I know you know what I'm talking about, Finn. How come you never told me that you were in love with me?" She exclaimed.

"I can't believe they told you." He growled in a low voice.

"And I can't believe that you never told me yourself." she answered back.

"I was scared, okay?" He admitted.

"Scared of what?" She asked.

"Of this.. You look so angry. This is going to change everything. I bet our friendship has already taken it's tumble." He explained, running his hands through his hair.

"How long?" She asked, feeling sympathetic. She had no idea if she tell him or not? Everything she's ever wanted was being laid right in front of her. All her dreams were an arms length away and all she had to was reach forward and grab him. "How long have you felt this way?" She'd wait.

"Since high school, I guess. Senior year." he said, looking at her with a saddened expression.

Before she knew it, a few tears were running down his eyes and he was grabbing her hands in his. "Rachel, I never meant for this to happen, but it just did. I fell in love with you and I'm not gonna apologize for that. I just hope that this doesn't ruin us. I need you in my life. So, please don't run away." He pleaded.

"So, for my birthday, everything that you did, was because you love me?" Rachel asked, trying to get him to explain more. She wasn't going to pretend that this wasn't completely awkward for them, because it was. It would be until she told him how she felt inside.

"What can I say? I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic." he chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

"You said that all of this started in high school. Exactly when did it start?" she asked, taking a sip from her coffee.

"Why do you need to know so much, detective?" he asked her.

"Because, all of this is just so... confusing for me. I never thought we'd end up here.." she said.

"It was that day when you were slushied by those football players and you were in the bathroom. Something just changed inside of my mind. You were so vulnerable and I just, I felt like I had to protect you from everything. I felt a tether to you. It was such a weird feeling when I first got it, since I never felt it before, but now, it's there all of the time." he told her.

"That's impossible.." she mumbled, remembering the moment she fell in love with him. "I'm sorry, I can't do this." Rachel said, standing up. Finn stood up with her as well. Grabbing her arm, he looked into her eyes with sad eyes.

"Please, Rach. Don't run away." he begged, they were starting to get an audience in the café.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, trying to avoid the people staring at her.

"It's okay, Rachel. I didn't expect things to go the way I wanted them to. So, I completely understand if you don't want to talk to me again." he whispered as she walked out of the door.

Getting to her apartment, she cursed herself in the mirror in her bathroom. She couldn't believe how much of an idiot she was being. She knew that everyone would probably what the hell was wrong with her. Hell, she had no idea. She was so stupid. Ever since high school, she would sit in her room and dream about this one day. Yet, when the day she had been longing for actually came, she was too much of a fool to actually embrace it. Instead, she had to run out like a little chicken.

She knew her reaction at the café was wrong. She just left him there when she could've at least stayed to talk a little more. She was just so scared to tell him how she felt. The look on his face when she got up was just enough to kill her inside, but if things changed between the two of them, she might become even more dead inside. Plus, she had been holding everything inside for so long. What if she said the wrong things or made the wrong impression on him? Hell, she'd already done that when she zoomed out of the freaking café.

She couldn't believe that she didn't just come right out and tell him everything she had been feeling. He was the most trusted person in her life. She could go to him with every secret in the pit of her soul. He was obviously her soul mate too. Fate made that totally clear to her. Especially the fact that they both fell in love with each other at the exact same time. What were the chances? Finn Hudson was her best friend and she knew she could go to him with everything.

Maybe that's why she was so scared to tell him. What if they got together only to break up in the future and ruin the best friendship they had built for so many years. She loved Finn with all of her heart, but if they would get together, she would not be able to cope if something happened to cause him to leave forever.

But then again, she had been wanting this for a very long time and the guy she liked finally admitted that he liked her too. So, she was hanging on both ends of the pros and cons list. She just had no idea how to make her decision.

Looking at her tear-filled eyes, she finally decided that enough was enough. She would stop acting like the scared little baby she was and she would march over to Finn's to tell him everything. Starting from the first time she saw him, to now. She liked the boy and the boy liked the girl. She would reach out at her dream and grab it, hopefully do more than that too.

Getting out of the cab, Rachel rushed through the lobby and took the stairs because she couldn't wait for the elevator. Once she was standing in front of his door, she was out of breath. Quickly, she knocked on the door four times and stood back to wait for an answer. It took a few seconds for the door to open, but when it did, she was face to face with Finn.

His face was red signaling that he had been crying. He never cried, she knew that she had really hurt him.

"Rachel.." his face lit up when he saw her. She walked past him and into his house.

"I'm sorry I ran out on you, Finny." she said, hugging him tight with tears building up in her eyes. "Finny" had always been her nickname for him since the first day they spent playing together. She hadn't been using it lately. She sort of dropped it once they got to New York, but now, she needed to used it more than ever.

"It's okay, Rach." they held their embrace for a few seconds and then parted.

"No, it's not. I just sat there while you poured your heart out to me. Then, I just ran out on you. That's not okay. I'm a terrible person." she cried.

"We were put into an awkward position. Plus, I should've went after you." he told her.

"Is it okay that i'm here? I know you have to get up early tomorrow morning.." she asked, looking down at her hands.

"Are you kidding? Stay as long as you want. Actually, are you hungry? I'm about to start cooking. How does pasta sound?" he asked.

"It's incredibly unbelievable how forgiving you are.. I wish I was like that." she mumbled.

"Rachel, we've been best friends forever. It's totally okay that you don't feel the same way. It's water over the bridge now. C'mon let's eat. I have some of that wine you like from that store down the street and you like your going to fade away. You need some food. Especially my amazing cooking, as you can remember." he laughed.

"Okay." she smiled, following him into the kitchen.

Once they got there, Finn placed a pot of water over the stove for the noodles. Watching him, she poured herself a glass of wine. Thank God alcohol was involved. Without it, she would be a mess.

"So, you never told me how work was today.." Finn said, as he took out the cutting board and a couple of tomatoes and mushrooms from the fridge.

"Actually, it was amazing. We finally cured that little girl Abby that I was telling you about. She doesn't have to come back to the hospital anymore. Well, unless she gets an injury or something. What about you?" she asked, nervously sipping down on the dark red liquid.

"That's awesome!" Finn exclaimed, while chopping a tomato. "My day was pretty boring. Just walked around the office all day, and did some paperwork in my office. Nothing out of the norm. Definitely didn't make a difference like you did today. Congrats Rach, I'm so proud of you."

"Okay, I need to tell you something." she couldn't hold it in any longer. It wasn't fair to either of them.

"What?" he asked, looking up from the chopping board again. He had a look of concern in his face.

"Just, promise me that you won't talk until I'm finished okay?" she asked, circling the edge of her glass with her index finger.

"Okay, I promise." he smiled.

"I don't really know how to say this. I mean theirs the part where I just get straight to the point and theirs another alternative where I just start from the whole beginning. I think to get you to understand, I'll just start from the beginning." she took a deep breath, looked at Finn who was looking directly at her, and then began.

"Remember, we would hang out with Katy down the street and her and I would put on our dress up clothes and you would run around with your sword. I remember we used to always fight over which one of us would get the prince and every time, even when I thought Katy would win, you always chose me to be your princess. Since that moment, I knew that you we were going to be best friends forever. You were always like my knight in shining armor. You rescued me from a lot of tragedy in my life. You were always there to catch me if I fell, like the time my favorite dog died, Patches, that divorce scare between my parents, that fall I made on the concrete, the breakup with Jessie. Finn, you were even there for me when I tried to push you away. You're like the best person in my life and If I said that there was anyone who could compare to you, I'd be lying. So, this is why I have to get this out." she stopped and chuckled a little when she saw the tears forming in his eyes.

"It's the onions." he told her.

"Of course." she laughed.

"Get what out?" he asked, referring to the story she was telling before.

"September 21, 2012." she started. Finn looked at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was.

"What?" he asked.

"The day was September 21, 2012 and it was a Friday I think." she was interrupted.

"Why are you describing a day to me?" he asked.

"Can you just listen?" she begged.

"Go on."

"Like I said, it was Friday, September 21, 2012 and it was lunch time. I had just come back from English class and I was sitting alone in the courtyard, going over my notes for the Geometry test I had next class. I was completely lost in thought until a group of football players gathered around my table. Mark Parker and his pack of wolves, if i'm not mistaken. They were playing some kind of sick joke and I knew it, so I got up and tried to leave before I had cold, wet, slush dripping down me. I was completely humiliated and all I could do was run away to avoid the laughter. So, when I got to the bathroom, I saw myself in the mirror and cursed myself for how pathetic I looked. Then, the door opened behind me. I thought it would be someone wanting to get my reaction on camera, but instead it was you. You told me that I was awesome and that I shouldn't listen to what they say about me and how you'd always protect me and you were just so sweet. You even helped me get the ice off of my face. From that moment on, I knew that something was different. I felt a change in the way I saw you. After we walked to our separate classes, I knew that I was in love with my best friend." Rachel took a pause to let everything sink in.

"What? Rachel how could you not tell me this?" he asked. He sounded hurt.

"I wanted to, I really did. It's just that..." she began.

"What? Why couldn't you tell me?"

"I was scared, okay?" she admitted.

"You don't think that I was scared, Rachel. The whole time I was just blabbering on about how I loved you and you didn't seem to feel the need to mention this. You made me feel like a complete idiot for saying all of those things to you. And, when you walked out, you made me think that you didn't feel the same way!" he sounded angry now.

"What about me, huh? All of those crazy things that I did for you? All of those crazy things that I had to do to get rid of your multiple chain of one night stands.. Was I suppose to just look at all of those pretty women and say "oh, I think that Finn is in love with me"? I was scared to tell you because every time I came even remotely close to saying it, there was always someone else. I knew that I'd never be good enough for you because I thought you only saw me as your friend. I've kept this in for so long, Finn. You have no idea how many times I've cried about this. The only reason I know this is because Santana told me. If she wouldn't have, I don't know If I would ever know, because I had to pry it out of you. I didn't tell you earlier, because I was scared. I'm still scared right now." she cried, tears were forming in her eyes. The weirdest thing was that just a few minutes ago they were getting along.

"Why didn't you tell me all of this before? I would've listened, Rach!" Finn exclaimed.

"Because, I was scared of rejection. I always thought that you saw right through me. The first time I wanted to tell you was at your graduation. I had a speech and everything. I was going to walk up to you and just speak my mind." Rachel began.

"Why didn't you?" he asked.

"Because, when you walked out of that gymnasium, you didn't even see me. You walked right past me to talk to Claire Houston, the captain of the cheerleading squad." Rachel mumbled, tears were rolling down her eyes like rain on a window.

"I was congratulating her on her award for Athlete of the Year." Finn explained, his head in his hands as he sat next to Rachel.

"Finn, I didn't know that. I was a 16 year old girl. When a 16 year old girl sees her crush talking to another girl, what else do you think they're going to think? I was 16 and you were 18. It would have never been okay, you were older than me. No college boy wants to date a girl in high school." she explained, as she tried to catch her breath.

"Don't you get it Rachel. In my senior year of high school, all I wanted was you. If you would've told me all of this then, we could be happy now instead of all of this drama." Finn whispered, looking at her.

"Then if all you've ever wanted was me, then what was Mandy?" Rachel asked, angrily.

"I don't know. She was always just gonna be one of my many one night stands. I guess I was just trying to move on from a love that I thought would never exist. Hence, all of my one night stands. They were all to get my mind off of the one girl I loved most, you." he told her.

"How about when we were in that bar and you were defending her when I told you to stay away from her, or at thanksgiving, she was there too?" she asked.

"First of all, I was drunk. Second, I didn't end the night with her, did I? If I recall, I ended up giving you the best birthday day ever." he explained.

"I was gonna tell you last night. I came by, and when I got here, she was here. She was wearing your robe, the really special one that you never let anyone touch, she had champagne in her hand, there were candles everywhere, and your clothes were on the floor. When she told me that you were in the shower, I think that's when I lost it. I couldn't breath or sleep, all I could think about was how you let her wear that robe and how all of my hope for us was vanished. Finn, I thought you slept with her." Rachel sniffed. She was crying now, which caused Finn to take her in his arms.

"You know I would never do that, right?" he asked.

"I know you didn't. But, if you would've I don't know what I would do. I thought you loved her instead of me." Rachel got out through her sobs.

"Rachel, there's no other girl on this planet that I could ever love more than you. Well, maybe my mom, but that's different. You're my number one girl and you always will be. I love you with all of my heart and I will until the day it stops beating." Finn said, placing her hand on his chest to feel his heart beat.

"It's going really fast.." she mumbled.

"That's because you're here."

Everything went by so quickly. One minute their lips were grazing each other's and the next Finn was holding Rachel in his arms with her legs wrapped around his waist. One minute they were in the kitchen, the next they were in the hallway, knocking down pictures from the wall onto the carpet. Hopefully nothing broke. He held her against the wall in his arms as he showed all of his passion in their kiss. Rachel never knew what it was like to kiss Finn Hudson, but now that she did, she could see what she'd been missing out on.

"You're knocking down pictures." Rachel said in between kisses.

"I don't care." Finn replied.

"They might be ruined." She added.

"I don't care." Finn smiled into their kiss.

Before she knew it Finn turned the knob to his bedroom door and from there all things went. This was simply the best night of Rachel Berry's life.