This was uber delayed to the extreme… I know. x1,000,000 apologies to those that have been waiting.
Since I haven't updated in a while, you may want to reread the last chapter to refresh your memory. Sorry for any inconvenience there!
So this is EPOV from Chapter 9—hopefully it'll clear up some confusion! R&R (read and review) thanks. –MTVicesk8r
Chapter 10: Arrival
"Alright then, let's go," I said, smiling at the idea that I would be the one with Bella during her first car ride with her new memory. I wanted all her 'firsts' to be with me.
I tried to make my facial features as smooth and calm as possible. If I could sweat, I would be soaking. I was so full of jitters that I started walking faster, forgetting to walk at a pace where Bella could keep up easily.
She scurried along my side, stumbling a little trying to keep up.
We reached my Volvo then, and I could feel her assessing it. I always kept it in tip top condition—my car was my favorite toy, and if I didn't take care of it, Rosalie surely would.
Involuntarily I opened the door to my Volvo for her, practically lifting her in. She seemed surprised at first, and then wary.
I slid into the other side and turned the keys in the ignition.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her shudder. Looking screen that said the temperature of the car I realized that it was only a wintry forty five degrees. No wonder she was cold.
It was moments like this that I wished I could be human with her so I'd be more aware of things like temperatures.
My hand shot to the button that would turn up the heat, probably pressing it so hard that it almost broke.
"Thanks," she said gratefully. If she was cold why didn't she just tell me to turn the heat up? Oh right. She's selfless… In a way that is the one trait I wish had been lost in the memory losing thing. I nodded, afraid that if I actually opened my mouth to make words, something would pop out by mistake.
I could see her body starting to relax in the more comfortable temperature.
We both sat in the car, silent for a moment and as we took in the tense atmosphere.
"Should I be scared?" she asked lightly.
At first I interpreted her question in the worst possible way. She was scared of me. She was scared of whatever I was hiding from her.
It took me a moment to register what she actually meant. Shopping with Alice.
I chuckled, hysteric with relief.
"Very," I grinned, careful not to reveal my razor sharp teeth.
She grimaced, and raised her eyebrows, subtly asking for more information.
"You'll see," I said and winked. She scowled and looked out the window.
I felt obligated to restart the conversation, but could not think of anything to say. Things felt so awkward between Bella and I and I hated that. I wanted things to go back to normal. I wanted us to be on our honey moon right now and for her to be Mrs. Cullen.
She surprised me by speaking first.
"Why is everyone driving so slowly?" she complained, slapping her hand on the armrest.
Without warning, I burst into laughter. I remembered back when Bella was terrified of my speed and reminded me that her father was a cop and that she always abided traffic rules. But then again, her truck only went up to 55mph so it's not like she could pass the speed limit even if she wanted to.
"Bella, nobody's driving slowly, actually everyone's driving pretty fast considering the speed limit. We're just driving ultra fast," I said, still shaking with laughter. The road split back into two lanes so I changed lanes and sped ahead of the other cars.
"Oh," she uttered.
Right then we encountered our first speed limit sign which said 35. She looked over at the screen that said my speed and her eyes practically bulged out of their sockets.
"This is incredibly slow for me, normally I triple or even quadruple the speed limit," I said lightly.
Her eyes got even wider—if that was possible.
"Doesn't speeding enhance the likelihood of getting in a car crash though?" she asked with a worried expression crossing her face.
Me? Get in a car crash? Yeah right.
"Of all things Bella, you don't have to worry about that," I snickered. I hated for her not to be in on the joke but it was still pretty hilarious.
"Why not?" she asked stubbornly.
I felt my eyes roll—one of those reactions you get when you hang around humans too long.
"Just don't. You're making mountains out of molehills. Besides, worrying is bad for your health," I said, frowning. Why did she have to be so stubborn? Couldn't she just take the explanations I gave her and get on with it?
Then again, if she had taken my explanations in the beginning when I told her to stay away from me we probably wouldn't be together.
She crossed her arms around her chest and pouted, jutting out her full bottom lip. Her lips… I felt like just reaching out and brushing them with my fingers— it didn't have to be a kiss… Any contact with her lips would satisfy me, but I knew better than that.
"I still think you should slow down," she muttered. I heaved another sigh and decelerated five miles per hour. At first she seemed incredulous that I had heard her but then even more annoyed with my 'attempt'.
"Better?" I asked mockingly.
She continued looking straight ahead as if she hadn't heard me. Probably it was too early for teasing.
So far this car ride had definitely not strengthened our barely existing relationship… If anything it's made it worse. I wouldn't be surprised if Jasper told me that she felt the opposite of love towards me right now.
"Don't be mad, Bella, it's for the best," I tried to amend, but at the same time she said, "You are so cryptic sometimes."
I felt like I had been stung, but I quickly composed myself. Cryptic means mysterious so she thinks I'm mysterious. From what I've heard mysterious is sexy... And sexy is good right?
At that moment I realized that I had totally warped her words into something more complimenting than it was meant to be. The other definition of cryptic is puzzling, and how could Bella love someone who she thinks is puzzling?
I stared at her for a moment, not sure what to say. Bella was probably the only person that I haven't been able to form words for. Why did it have to be so difficult around her?
I looked away, lost in thought trying to interpret her words correctly.
I heard a little sniffling sound but didn't really pay attention to it, as I had so many things on my mind. A moment later, a quiet broken sob came from my right and it suddenly dawned on me that Bella was crying.
Her hands were wiping her eyes, but it seemed like the tears weren't slowing.
Concern, pain, and fear made their ways through me. Although I had been by Bella through many of her emotional outbursts, it seemed like this one was by far the worst. Her crying became more and more pronounced and suddenly she was trembling and shaking with such force that you would have thought that an earthquake was rocking her.
"Bella, Bella, what's the matter, Bella?" I practically had to yell over her cries which seemed to crescendo louder and louder.
"I'm not gonna get it… get it… back," she wailed.
"Get what…" I trailed off, "Oh," I said flatly.
Remorse. Remorse. And more remorse. I could have stopped Camille that day. I shouldn't have left Bella in her room alone. If I had only tried harder, none of this mess would have happened.
"Bella, we don't know that for sure," I lied, it was plenty obvious that Bella's memory would not return.
"Yeah right, you're just saying that. We all know the damn truth," she sighed. It was hard to disagree with that, because it was a hundred percent true.
I had been circling the parking lot a few times and had finally found a space where a car had just left.
"Are you alright to go in? Or do you want to stay here a little longer?" I asked, taking the opportunity to gently touch her arm. It was only meant to be for consolation.
Just the same as the other times I've touched her, electricity shot through my hand and up my arm when I reached contact. I wonder if she had felt it too.
A second after the pleasure of touching her faded away, she abruptly pulled her arm away in one sharp movement.
Clearly, my touch was not welcome to her. I remembered back before the incident when Bella had savored every single time we touched, and now it seemed as if she wanted anything but it.
"I'm fine, let's go," Bella said carefully. I nodded.
She began to open the car door, but I reached over to stop her—careful not to make any skin contact.
"Allow me," I offered, forcing a smile.
She nodded, but seemed to have some faraway look in her eyes. It was the same look that she used to get when I dazzled her. Could I have just dazzled her? Hope sprung through me, but then I immediately squashed it down—not wanting to give myself false hope.
I got out of the car and jogged 'humanly' over to her side of the car, escorting her out. She stepped out into the brightness of the day and her beauty was exquisite.
I longed to lean over, maybe just to kiss her lightly on the cheek, to feel her warm skin against my lips; it would only be a friendly gesture… No. No. No. I couldn't.
I could already hear Alice's overly excited thoughts as she neared us. She was having a hard time keeping a 'human speed' run with all that excess energy inside of her.
Alice must have come into Bella's sight and we both watched her intently as she got closer and closer.
"Bella! Edward! What took you guys so long! All the good things are almost gone!" she squealed. I sighed with irritation. Was she so oblivious to the fact that Bella had just had an emotional breakdown? I shot her a menacing look at the same time she must have looked at Bella's face more clearly. Her eyes looked less puffy than before, but still it was evident that she had been crying just earlier.
"Oh," she said. I sighed again. How could Alice have not seen this coming?
Being Alice though, she acted as if everything was okay and perked up again.
"C'mon Bella! Let's go! Everyone's waiting inside for us!" she said, tugging at Bella's sleeve.
Bella stumbled, trying to keep up with Alice, and I desperately wished Alice would mellow down a little.
We entered through the automatic doors to Alice's personal heaven on earth—the mall. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were already making their way towards us.
"This is Southcenter, AKA the largest mall in the area!" Alice gloated, as if she were proud of the fact that she was the one who introduced Bella to her 'first mall'.
Bella eyed the stores that lined up on the walls of the mall and a strange expression crossed her face.
"What's wrong, Bella?" Alice and I asked at the same time. This was one of those times I wanted Jasper's power to feel emotions. That would be so convenient around Bella!
"It's just so… well small. I mean, it's so small compared to your house!" she said, confused.
Every one of us burst into laughter. Bella thought the mall was small compared to our house. How I wished she would speak her mind more often, sometimes she was truly enthralling.
"Bella… Bella, our house… Is just… Super enormous…" Alice giggled. Everyone nodded in agreement, still keeling over in laughter.
Suddenly, Alice froze; I looked into her mind and realized that she was having a vision.
It was in the Volturi castle, and Aro was giving orders.
"Young Bella has still not been changed. We gave the Cullens a second chance, and they did not take it. We will leave at nightfall to advance."
"No…" I whispered, not loud enough for human ears. Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper heard it though. They abruptly stopped laughing and their eyes darted between me and Alice.
How can this be happening? Bella doesn't even know that we're vampires anymore! She isn't a threat to our secret! The Volturi have no reason to kill her! Alice thought frantically.
Alice was right. But we all knew that Bella would find out the ugly truth of our existence if she stayed with us long enough. How would we hide the color change in our eyes? Explain our long absences when hunting? How we never ate or slept in the house? The Volturi would surely use that against us.
I saw Bella glancing worriedly at each one of us, probably wondering why there had been a sudden change in the mood. For once it was not Jasper's doing.
"Couldn't this have turned up after the shopping trip?" Alice wailed. Bella is in a life or death crisis and Alice is thinking about shopping?
"We've gotta get back to the house and plan our strategy," I said. Bella continued to look anxiously at each of us, waiting for an explanation, but there was no time for that.
Without thinking, I grabbed Bella's hand and started dragging her out the door. For a moment my hand reacquainted with her soft warm touch. No. No. No. I have to focus at the situation at hand.
I practically threw her into my Volvo—as gently as possible and hurried over to the driver's side.
"What's going on?" she asked frivolously.
I sighed with frustration—why was I always the one that got the tough questions? How could I explain the situation to her without exposing her to us?
"We'll talk about it later," I answered.
Whoa man, calm down… You just scared the crap out of her, Jasper thought.
I clenched my teeth, and planned more ways to avoid the Volturi attack.
Obviously this came out much later than I had intended, but in my defense, it's the 2nd longest chapter so far… R&R… --MTVicesk8r