Man, you guys have got to be tired of seeing this in front of every chapter, huh? Yeeeah, writers block is a bitch, and some personal stuff got in the way, too. But, well, hopefully I'll be able to get more stuff done soon. Hopefully. A lot of good episodes are coming up, so it should be fun.
For the record, the show's developments about things like how Peridot's limb extenders work won't be taken into account here. Sorry. If you're looking for a totally canon-compliant version...this is kind of a poor choice, Lapis and Jasper are practically entirely different characters from the canon versions. Anyway, enjoy.
"Eaaaat. Eeeeaaaaattttt..."
Chrysocolla scrambled around her cave, searching for a source of food. Suddenly she heard some sort of rustling from below.
"You know, Steven, we didn't take Jasper with us because this was supposed to be a stealth mission." She heard a barely audible voice from below. After thinking, she realized that she recognized the voice. Lapis?
No.
Food.
"But I don't want to catch a cold."
Chrysocolla faltered. Something about that voice felt...off. It was deep, and somewhat...muffled. Even more than FOOD's was.
FOOD.
No...she had to wait. She had to understand that voice. She heard Lapis groaning. "Steven, it's not even that cold in here." Chrysocolla heard that odd voice make a small grunt. "What do you know? You can't even get sick."
"Steven!" Lapis angrily snapped. "S-sorry..." Steven said worriedly. Suddenly, a nasally voice from a bit further ahead interjected. "Lapis, stop, you're scaring him." A Peridot. Sounded tasty. "And, frankly, he has a point."
"Yeah, I guess..." Lapis said, aggrivated.
She sighed. "Steven, I'm sorry for scaring you. I'm not always like I was at the spire, though. That was...special. You know?" The weird voice sighed. "Alright. S-sorry for the snap." Lapis giggled. "It's fine."
Chrysocolla's mind raced. WHYDIDITMATTERGOTTAGETFOODEATEATEATEATEAT! Her corrupted form shook, as it started to drill into the ground below.
"It's fine." Lapis said, smiling, reaching down and ruffling Steven's hair. She froze, as she heard some sort of tunneling from above. "STEVEN, MOVE!" Steven nodded, running back, as a spiky gem monster crashed down from above. Peridot fired at the monster, who's spikes popped off and launched towards her. Peridot barely managed to dodge them, making rather unhappy sounds. Lapis ran up from behind, using a blob of water she'd been carrying to enter a weak spot on the underside of the gem monster.
It froze up, before roaring in pain and poofing into light. Lapis ran up, bubbling a rather spiky gem left behind. Steven sighed, walking up. "Did we do it? Did we win?" Lapis nodded. "Yup! Winners!" "HEY! GET BACK HERE!" Lapis and Steven turned back, seeing Peridot fire at a still-living spike, which dodged and drilled a hole into the ground, joining a rather large amount of others. Peridot grumbled. "Great. Those things are going to get annoying if we don't deal with them." Lapis walked up, putting a hand on Peri's shoulder. "It's alright, Peri. It shouldn't be too hard to deal with them if we do see them again. And, hey, we probably won't. Peridot grumbled something about fate and how you shouldn't temp it, before pushing Lapis away and walking back towards the cave entrance.
Steven walked with Jaser, Lapis and Peri towards the boardwalk. "Remind me again, Steven-" Peridot said, folding her arms. "We're wasting our time coming here?"
"Because!" Steven said, raising a finger. "We did a good job last mission, so I thought we deserved a reward!" Jasper blinked. "But I didn't even come with you on the last mission." Lapis nodded. "And, really, we didn't do much special. The gem came to us, we beat it in a couple seconds, we missed it's parasites. If anything, that's below par."
Steven sighed. "Alright, alright, I've been planning this for a while. I just thought you guys might want a trip toooooo..." Steven raised his arms, stopping in front of a building filled with obnoxiously flashing lights. "THE FUNLAND ARCADE!"
Lapis blinked. "Steven, I come here anyway." "Well, yeah, but-" "And I wouldn't have bothered to come if I know this is what we were wasting our time on." Peridot interjected. "Well, yeah, that was kind of the-" "And don't you need money for this?" Jasper interrupted.
Steven sighed. "Okay, let me talk, please?" The other Crystal gems stood upright, waiting. Steven breathed out, making a 'clearing' motion with his hand, before turning to Lapis. "Yes, but I wanted to bring you all here. Besides, the money's on me." He turned to Peridot. "I understand that, Peri, that's why I did it. I figured that if you actually played some of the games, you'd have fun!" He turned to Jasper. "And, finally, Jasper: Yup!" As he said that, he pulled open his jacket, revealing a large amount of arcade tokens, in four pockets. He gave all three others the contents of one pocket, leaving the last for himself.
He cleared his throat. "Okay! Peridot, you'd probably like Space gunner, Jasper...probably a fighting game, and Lapis-" "Steven, I already know wh-" "-You already know what you like." Lapis blinked. "Well, fair enough." She looked at Jasper. "Hey, follow me, Jasper, you'd probably like Fist Puncher." Jasper nodded, clutching her tokens and following her.
Peridot looked around. "Where is this 'space gunner' you mentioned?" Steven grabbed Peridot's free hand, walking towards it. Peridot cleared her throat, as Steven turned back. He looked to the floating fingers in his hand, and back to Peridot, who hadn't moved an inch. "...It was a nice try, Steven."
Steven walked up to the machine, Peridot walking behind him. "Ta-daaaa!" He said, in front of a flashy arcade machine, with an over-the-top design of a space marine in a ship above it. Peridot walked up to a joystick, fiddling with it to get a feel. "Hm. Okay." She popped out two of her tokens, slotting them in and starting up the game. Steven gave a thumbs-up, walking away. She looked over to a couple of buttons in the middle. "Hey, what are those?" Steven looked over. "Oh, uh, if you have a second player, you can press those buttons to do a duel. It interrupts the game for a bit, but if you win, you get a huge point boost. Then, it dumps you back to the first level." Peridot humphed. "Interesting." Steven watched for a few seconds, as Peridot got a handle on the game. "I...will leave you to that." Peridot nodded, shrugging.
Steven walked up to Lapis and Jasper. "You having fun, guys?"
"No." Jasper said bluntly. Lapis looked over. "Oh, come on, Jasper, you have to be having a liiiittle fun." Jasper grunted, as Steven looked at the 5-0 loss streak at the top. "I'd be having more fun if I could actually hit you, Lapis." Lapis shrugged, giving her a trollish smile. "I can go easy on you, if you want!" Jasper glared at her. "Haha. Let's get this thing to 5-1." Steven shrugged, supposing that was his little check-in done.
Steven walked up to Peridot, who was fighting against some sort of...crab-shaped asteroid. The first boss. "Oh, still stuck on level one?" Peridot shook her head. "I've beat it three times." Steven furrowed his brow in confusion, looking up at her score. It was definitely more than she should have at this point. "But...it's only been fifteen minutes."
Peridoct scoffed. "It's only three levels, Steven." "...Peridot, there are TEN." Peridot grinned. "Not if you get the warps." Steven watched, as she launched a missile through three of the boss's attacks at once, creating a portal which she flew through. "YOU'VE JUST PORTALLED THROUGH A WARPING ZONE! TIME TO ENTERING THE LEVEL FIVE!" The game exclaimed emphatically on its screen. "I...didn't know there were warps." Peridot shrugged. "I think people only ever found the one from one to three, but there's more."
Steven looked at her strangely. "Peridot, how are you even finding this?" Steven jumped a little as one of Peridot's hands covered his mouth. "Ssh. This is a tricky bit." She said, moving her fingers to have four on the joystick and one on the fire button. She looked over at the second player joystick for a second, before shaking her head.
Steven took the hand off, walking away slowly. As he did so, he realized that the bullets...seemed like Peridot's fingers. He didn't remember that.
"URGH!" A Jasper-like grunt sounded out. "CAREFUL, CAREFUL!" Lapis said, hurriedly. Steven walked over in confusion, seeing Lapis covering Jasper's hand, which would have struck the arcade machine. Jasper glared at her. "WHY CAN'T I BEAT YOU AT THIS!?" Steven looked up, seeing that the win streak has gone from 5-0 to 12-1. Well...at least Jasper got one, he supposed.
He put a hand on Jasper's bicep. He'd have gone for the shoulder, but, well..."Jasper, it's okay. Lapis has been doing this way more." Lapis nodded. "I mean, you've been playing for thirty minutes, I've been doing it for a couple of years. I've won local tournaments." Jasper grumbled. Lapis looked away. "I guess that wasn't really helpful, was it?" Jasper shook her head.
Steven sighed. "It's okay. You'll do it." Jasper stood back up, rigid. "Yeah. Sure." She took the controls back up.
Steven walked back up to Peridot. He immediately became VERY confused. "Peridot?"
"Yes, Steven?"
"Why does your ship look like you?"
Indeed, on the screen was a rotating sprite of Peridot herself, firing those finger-like projectiles. "I think the better question, Steven, is why ALL ships don't look like me." Steven shook his head. "Wha-no, that's not the better question. Peridot, you're not supposed to modify these games." Peridot scoffed. "Or what? I'll get kicked out?" "Or you'll go to JAIL!"
Peridot waved her free hand. "Please, Steven. Like any jail could hold me." "Peridot, you can't even pick up a telescope." she sighed. "No, that's not-Steven, please, just leave me to this, okay?" Steven looked between the game and her, debating. "...Okay." He said, walking back.
Steven sat on the pier, looking out. It was a really nice day, he noted. Sunny, calm, and quiet except for the gentle, consistent rumble of the waves underneath him. ...Wait, no, the tide was out. The waves weren't anywhere near him. What the-
Steven jumped, as a small, conical creature bust up out of the pier. Followed by about 20 more. "OoooooHHHH THEY'RE BACK!" He ran back into the arcade, bumping into Jasper, who was walking away angrily from the Punch Puncher machine. "Oh! Hi!" she cleared her throat, standing up and folding her arms, back in her rigid posture. "What is the problem, meat child?"
"THE GEM! THE GEM WE BEAT, THE THINGS IT MADE ARE BACK!" Lapis looked over, eyes wide. She created two wings from her gem, bursting out of the arcade. "YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY ARCADE, YOU STUPID PARASITES!" She yelled, fighting against them. Jasper shrugged, summoning her weapon and walking out as well. "Thanks for the heads up." Steven nodded, running over to Peridot.
"Peri! The parasites!" Steven yelled, panicked. "Whuh?" Peridot said, looking back. "Oh. Alright." She turned back. Steven gave an annoyed hand gesture. "Peridot, come on!" He said, trying to pry her hand off the joystick. "Hey, hey! Watch it! Look, I'll help next time I die, okay!?" Steven sighed. "How many times have you died so far?" Peridot shrugged. "I dunno. Like...zero times." Steven slumped over. He looked up at her score. 9999500. Technically only a few points away from the kill screen, but the game was programmed not to allow the score to go past that score, though he vaguely remembered some glitch that could force it up. "...Fine. I'll...I'll check up on you later." "Sure." Peridot said, nodding.
Steven ran out, seeing Jasper and Lapis trying to fight against the Parasites. Lapis tried to encase one in water, but it drilled straight through, scoring her arm. She seethed, looking at Jasper, who seemed to have a fair amount of trouble even trying to hit them. "GET DOWN HERE, YOU BRATS!" she yelled, as the parasites seemed to have no intention.
Lapis looked over. "Steven! Where's Peridot!?" Steven looked away sheepishly. "Uh...playing her gam-" "WHAT!?" Lapis screamed, as a parasite flew at Steven, which he barely dodged. "PERIDOT, GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!"
"YOU CAN'T CONTROL MY LIFE, LAZULI! YOU CAN HANDLE IT!" Peridot replied from the arcade. Lapis groaned, annoyed. "She always does this when she gets a new toy." She mutters. "You have to get her off of that, Steven." Steven nodded, looking back in. "She said she'd get out next time she died." Lapis cursed under her breath. "She would. Well, you have to find some way to make that happen." Steven nodded, running back in.
Steven ran up, looking at Peridot. "Hello, again." Peridot said casually. "Peridot, you need to die, or they are!" Peridot scoffed. "Oh, please, Lapis could handle the creature that MADE those. And she's got Jasper. She doesn't need me." Steven groaned. "BUT SHE DOES!" Peridot shrugged. Steven looked at the second-player controls. Well, he figured there was only one way to get her die.
He slotted in his tokens, grabbing the controls. "Oh, are you-okay." Peridot said, nodding. Steven clenched his teeth, getting ready to play.
About ten minutes later he had two tokens left, and a very decidedly not dead Peridot. "UGGGHHH!" He said, covering his face. "It's okay, Steven, I'm pretty good at this game. It was a good try, though!" Steven held back a glare. Suddenly, his eyes widened. THAT was the glitch.
He put his tokens in, slamming his duel button. Peridot looked over, raising an eyebrow. She smiled. "Well, alright then, if that's how you want to spend your last life." She slammed her own, as the game froze for a second.
"YOU ARE HAVING A CHALLENGER! BEAT THEM WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!" The game proclaimed, showing the sprite of Peridot's ship and a recolor of the actual game's ship facing each other. Steven clenched his teeth...
And stood there.
Peridot looked at him, strangely. "Are...are you not even going to fight back?" Steven shook his head. "...Well, if that's REALLY how you want to spend your last life, I guess." Peridot said, wailing on him. After about 30 seconds of pure firing, Steven's ship blew up, as a little '500' displayed above the graphic. The score started glitching out. "W-wait, wha?" Peridot said, confused.
"T͡͞I͝M̵E͝͏ ͡T̨͡O ͜E̶N̴҉͠Ţ̀Ȩ̷̕R̴҉I̵Ń̢G̶̴͡ ̶̵̀T̢͠H͏E͏̢ ͞Ļ̸́EV̛́͜E̵L̀ ͠O͏NE̴ " the game glitchily proclaimed. Peridot started panicking as the graphics loaded, garbled and flickering. Her ship began exploding without even moving, sloooowly ticking down her ridiculous amount of lives. Peridot stared, letting her arms down dejectedly.
After a while, the life counter hit zero. "G̷͡A̵̵ME ͏Ǫ̡͠VE͝Ŕ́.̨͞ ̢͏͡KĮ̛̕L͠L̴͘ S̴̷CR̕E̸EN͟͟.̵҉ " The game proclaimed one last time, before popping up the attract screen. Steven stood proud, as Peridot blinked, shaking her head. "...Well." she stood up, clearing her throat. "I might buy one of those to put in my room. So, what was this about drill parasites?"
Peridot fired at the last parasite, as Jasper stood back and Lapis tried to slow it down enough for Peri to hit it. She clapped her hands together. "There we go! The last remnants of that corrupted gem lay broken at our feet." Lapis nods, sighing. "Now, was that so hard?" Peridot shrugged. "A little. Anyway, you head back to the temple. I'll try to beat my high-score, even if it was just internal." She started walking back into the arcade, before being stopped by a surprisingly intimidating overweight and aging black man. "WHO'S BEEN HACKING MY ARCADE MACHINES!?" He yelled, looking around the gems. Steven pointed towards Peridot, who sighed. "Curse you, karma. Curse you with all my might."