10. Headache and Heartache

(set shortly after 3.10)

It had started out just like an other day. I left my cottage early in the morning whilst it was still dark, made my way through the gatehouse, drew a bucket of water from the well and went upstairs to Morgana's chambers. As I reached her door, I took a deep breath as was my custom recently, to ready myself for the act I was about to play. The faithful servant - the dear friend - good old reliable Gwen. It wasn't easy but I was both afraid of what she would do if she realised how much I knew about her, and determined to gather as much information as I could to ensure that she didn't turn her magic on those I loved; Arthur, Merlin, Elyan, Gaius - to name the most important … I knew now that she could not be trusted.

After the usual enquiries, thanks and forced smiles, I finished helping her dress and left to complete my other work - sheets in my hands. As I walked down the corridor I nearly bumped into Arthur and the loving look he gave me made my heart pound. Instinctively we both glanced around to see if we had company. There was no-one around at the moment but it was a busy time of day and we knew that we could not take the chance of being discovered after the events of the last few days. I smiled at him, he smiled back but we said nothing ... there was no need. With one more quick glance around, Arthur put a gentle hand on my cheek, his blue eyes gazing into mine, before quickly striding back off down the corridor. After a few moments to collect my crazy thoughts and calm my beating heart, I continued on with my work.

The laundry room was just as busy, hot and hectic as usual and what with the pressure of pretending to be Morgana's friend, trying to resist the urge to kiss the crown prince of Camelot soundly in a public corridor, and the heat and noise of the laundry, I wasn't at all surprised to find a headache coming on. I took a pile of blankets from the laundry to one of the rooms in the servant quarters and from there headed over to Gaius' chambers.

As I approached the room, I noticed that the main door was slightly ajar and Merlin and Gaius' voices drifted out towards me.

"I just keep feeling that there's something I should do to warn everyone about Morgana," said Merlin. I froze on hearing the name. Merlin did know? I had wondered when he'd come to see me in the cell the other day.

"There's nothing you can say. Morgana still has Arthur and Uther's complete trust," Gaius replied.

"I could talk to Gwen." I smiled and a pleasant warmth filled my heart. I loved Merlin dearly; not in the way I loved Arthur of course. I had thought maybe I did when I first knew him but … my feelings for him were not like that … like a brother … but more than that even. Merlin was a good deal easier to love than Elyan, despite the blood ties.

"What could you tell her that she doesn't already know? Merlin, you didn't see her face when she told me about Morgana's magic. I fear that she won't react well if you confess to the same abilities."

The warmth left me - my heart stopped - my head pounded.

"The same? I've more magic then her!" He had admitted it. He couldn't have? Merlin? There was sound, a muffled thump.

"Ouch!" Apparently Gaius had hit him around the head.

"Show some modesty, Merlin."

"It has nothing to do with bragging, it's the truth. I'm the greatest sorcerer of all time." I shook my head confused. The words weren't modest, but his voice had a sarcastic tone; sorrowful, resigned, and it sounded as if he were quoting a well worn phrase.

"For very good reason, Merlin, but all that power would be for nothing if you force Morgana's hand. Just continue to do what you have been doing; keep an eye on her, protect everyone and bide your time."

"Aahh!" I jumped at the sound of frustration in Merlin's voice. He always appeared so calm, so happy as if he hadn't a care in the world and yet … "It's hopeless, it's useless. Gaius, the pressure of all this is scaring me. I know all the minor spells now – can practically do them in my sleep - but the big stuff … the spells I'm going to need. I can't risk practising them and … when I couldn't reverse that ageing spell I panicked, I couldn't even do my minor tricks for a while and the fear ..." He paused for breath as my mind raced on hearing the words 'ageing spell', and exactly what that implied.

"I do understand, Merlin but you can't take the risk, especially in regard to Morgana."

"Why hasn't she told Uther? I don't understand why. She knows I've been working against her."

"I wouldn't complain about that, if I were you."

"I'm not, I'm just ... surprised."

Did that mean Morgana knew about Merlin's magic? Earlier Gaius had implied that she didn't. I was suddenly aware of my situation; still with one hand held out ready to open the door and my head now pounding with both the headache and the latest mad revelations. I couldn't face the pair now, my acting skills were not that good and I honestly couldn't cope with hearing anything else. Slowly, quietly, I backed away from the door. Once I'd taken seven slow steps, I turned tail and ran around the nearest corner.

I'd wait here for a bit, I decided. Wait until Merlin had finished in there and then go back for that headache cure. I really needed it now. He wouldn't be much longer I was sure, he was almost constantly at Arthur's beck and call.

I had tried to talk to Arthur about how he treated Merlin recently and was surprised when the prince had calmly said that Merlin loved hard work, knew that his insults weren't heartfelt and that they both enjoyed the banter. Then he turned pink, as he often did, when easily confessing something to me that he probably hadn't even admitted to himself. The pair had a strange, strong friendship that even had me a little jealous from time to time - idiot that I am.

Did Arthur know Merlin was a sorcerer? The question was more worrying than the conversation I had just overheard. As I was mulling that over I heard Gaius' door creak open and Merlin strode lazily towards me. I took a deep breath, got into what I had been recently calling 'Morgana Mode,' but I suppose was now 'Magic Mode,' and turned to face the self proclaimed greatest sorcerer of all time.

A/N Plenty of these lined up thanks to that advent challenge and so should be able to keep up these daily updates for the time being. Feel free to visit my profile for more news on upcoming chapters and let me know your thoughts or ideas in reviews or PMs