Disclaimer: I do NOT own Degrassi. I also don't own Slow Hands by Interpol. Have you ever a make-out session to that song? No? DO IT. Oh…. And I don't own The Weight by The Band. Man, I don't own anything. :(
Author's note: Answers to some questions I've been getting:
How long is this story going to be? This is not intended to be a long story, none of my stories ever end up being too long. Don't expect fifty chapters, haha. However, there are several conflicts that need to be resolved before I end it, so hang in there with me.
Will there be smut at some point? Well… it IS one of my stories. Cough cough hint hint.
Why did Eli and Julia fight? Because Eli stole her skinny jeans. Ha, just kidding. It will be a sort-of-expected reason but I'm writing it in a different way, I hope. So… yeah.
Did you forget about Eli's hoarding? I did not. It will actually be addressed in this chapter.
Will Clare ever meet Adam in this story? Yes. Of course!
If you have more questions, suggestions, or you simply want to discuss how Eli has made real-life boys irrelevant, follow me on Twitter and Tumblr at floorplanhobo.
A/N 2: Sorry about the crappy editing, but surprise, surprise, I'm getting a headache. This chapter is set three weeks after last. Hello, Darcy.
Three weeks later
Clare
She didn't want him to stop.
Eli's lips were sucking gently on her neck and it simply felt too good to just stop. Clare knew that they would be late to class if they kept going at it, but a late slip every now and then wouldn't hurt them. Eli had been driving her to school ever since her father moved out, because her mother had picked up earlier shifts at work. Eli stubbornly refused to let Clare take the bus.
However, Eli always picked her up extra early and he would park the hearse somewhere secluded just to enjoy a few minutes of "alone time" before heading to class. Clare was quite content with the arrangement, especially since Eli had just bought a brand-new radio for Morty and they would listen to music (mostly Eli's taste) and just enjoy each other's company. Interpol was blaring through the speakers, and the singer's haunting voice just added to the intensity of the situation.
Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?
This is a wasteland now
She opened her mouth to say something but Eli interrupted her with his lips, with his tongue ardently invading her mouth. Clare had never been that "passionate" with KC, she had always been terrified of intimacy, and she kept thinking of the purity ring in her finger.
Clare loved the texture of Eli's tongue in her mouth, it was the most thrilling sensation. He was an excellent kisser, not that she had a lot of experience to judge that, but all that she knew was that he was purely perfect. "Eli… we… have… to… go… to… class…" Clare breathed as Eli moved back to her neck.
We rejoice because the hurting is so painless
From the distance of passing cars
But I am married to your charms & grace
"School is overrated," said Eli against her neck and then Clare felt his tongue on her skin, making her forget momentarily about school.
"Perhaps, but… please…" moaned Clare, arching her back slightly.
"Fine," chuckled Eli, and kissed her on the lips. "I just wanted some alone time before this crazy day began."
"Thanks again for agreeing to go to the dinner tonight," smiled Clare, kissing the tip of Eli's nose. "I know that you're not thrilled."
"Well, I haven't met your parents yet and I'm meeting your sister as well," said Eli, and Clare detected nervousness in his voice. "I just want to make a good impression."
"It's going to be weird," said Clare pensively. "My parents haven't talked to each other since my dad moved out." She recalled the night her parents had announced their separation, how broken she had been and how Alli had been there for her like she never had before. When Eli found out he had rushed to Clare's side, his words comforting her immediately.
"I'll be there," said Eli. "If things start getting weird, I'll just start invoking Satan and all eyes will be on me."
Clare giggled and kissed him softly on the lips. "You're quite a catch, Eli Goldsworthy."
"Well, you're a pretty decent girlfriend, Clare Edwards," smirked Eli, and he leaned in to kiss her.
Girlfriend.
"Girlfriend?" blurted Clare.
"Oh… well, I do not have intense make-out sessions in my hearse with random strangers, you know," winked Eli.
"So, we're official now?" asked Clare happily.
"I think we've been official from the moment you read Frank McCourt in front of the class," said Eli, his eyes filled with emotion.
Clare wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him hungrily and pressing her body against his. "Maybe we can skip English," gasped Clare.
"Yes, we can," nodded Eli eagerly, and kissed her again.
Later
Clare was writing on her notebook while waiting for her Biology teacher to walk in, not paying attention to her surroundings. The spots where Eli had kissed her on the neck were burning, and she blushed as she remembered the moments they shared earlier.
She couldn't get enough of him, it seemed. It was still early in the relationship, but for the first time in her life, she hated her purity ring. Now she understood why so many girls her age were already having sex.
She wondered what Eli looked like naked…
Stop it, Clare, she thought angrily, and focused on her notes instead. She felt someone sitting next to her at the lab table, but she wasn't paying attention. She was now thinking of the dinner ahead, with Darcy, Darcy's fiancé and their parents. She felt grateful about having Eli by her side, knowing that they could leave at any moment if she asked him to.
"Clare Edwards. Always so focused in school."
Clare turned around and recognized Mark Fitzgerald at once. "Hi, Fitz," smiled Clare.
"Oh, you know my name?" asked Fitz, seemingly shocked.
"Well… yes," giggled Clare. "We attend the same school, take some of the same classes."
"I see," said Fitz somberly. "We never get to talk that much."
"No, we don't," said Clare. "What's up?"
"Nothing much. Listen, I've been struggling quite a bit in this class," said Fitz in a bored tone. "I was wondering if you could help me, seeing how you're all smart and whatnot."
"Sure! I can be your tutor," said Clare kindly. "When do you want to meet? After this class?"
"Maybe this afternoon?" asked Fitz. "At the library, perhaps?"
"Oh, I have plans tonight," said Clare apologetically. "Family dinner."
Fitz looked extremely disappointed, and he licked his lower lip, deep in thought. "Tomorrow then? The first test is coming up and I need to pass it."
"Tomorrow sounds fine," said Clare placidly.
"Your boyfriend won't mind?"
Clare was taken aback, but recovered at once. "I don't think so."
"Great," said Fitz, grabbing one of Clare's pencils and twirling it in his fingers. "I've heard the rumors about him and the last thing I want is him getting angry at me, I would be terrified."
Rumors? Clare wanted to ask Fitz what kind of rumors were going on about Eli, but decided not to. People here love to gossip about the new kids, thought Clare.
"Eli is a nice guy," said Clare crossly. "You shouldn't pay attention to rumors."
"Maybe," said Fitz, his eyes fixated on Clare. "Just be careful."
Fitz walked away from her table and Clare watched him as he joined his friends, chuckling and talking rapidly. Fitz's words of warning made her feel uneasy, and she wondered if he knew something she didn't.
Eli
"I don't remember the last time I wore a suit," cringed Eli, looking at his reflection on the mirror. He was wearing a normal black suit with a white button-down shirt and a skinny black tie. Cece had insisted on him wearing his hair in a different way, but he refused.
"Your hair is such a mess," said Cece as she fussed over him.
"Wearing a suit is bad enough, Cece," yelled Bullfrog from the living room. Eli glanced around his parents' bedroom, a room he always avoided but was vital because it was the only room that had a full-length mirror. Bullfrog would often make awkward jokes about the many uses of that mirror, and Eli tried to block them out.
"You didn't have to buy me a new suit," mumbled Eli. "I had one already."
"But it's the one you wore to-" Cece started. "Never mind."
"Julia's funeral, mom," said Eli. "You can address it directly in front of me, I will be okay."
"I didn't want you wearing a sad suit while hanging out with Clare," said Cece, rearranging Eli's tie. "And you're meeting her family and all. When are we meeting her?"
"Soon," promised Eli.
"Cece just wants to make sure you're not making Clare up," yelled Bullfrog once again.
"Yeah, mom, she's just a figment of my imagination," mocked Eli, and Cece laughed.
"You look happier now," said Cece fondly. "I like that."
"I'm getting there, mom," said Eli. "Still need to work on… my room… locker… you know."
"I thought therapy would help you with that," said Cece.
"Maybe it will, eventually," shrugged Eli.
"Have you told Clare about that?" asked Cece curiously.
"No," admitted Eli. "Not yet."
"Don't keep too many secrets from her, Eli," warned Cece. Eli knew that she was referring not only to the hoarding, but the fight with Julia. Eli wanted to avoid telling Clare the reason why his relationship with Julia had fallen apart; he felt that she would never forgive him.
Because even though he had been fighting it and had been in denial, he had fallen in love with Clare. There was no doubt about it, his feelings for Clare had exceeded the infatuation stage and love was the only word that could define them. Eli was scared and terrified about the way he had fallen for the girl with the lovely blue eyes. He was hers, and Clare had no idea yet.
"Just don't say anything inappropriate," said Cece. "You get that from your father."
"I heard that!"
Eli chuckled and Cece tried to fix his hair. "Mom, let it go," said Eli, ducking. "It looks fine."
"Good luck meeting Clare's family," said Cece, giving him a hug.
"You guys are making this a bigger deal than it actually is," muttered Eli nervously.
"Well… it's Clare, after all," said Cece, her eyes looking at him knowingly. Eli wondered how much his mother really knew about his feelings for Clare.
His love for Clare.
Later
Eli hated driving Cece's car, but as his mother pointed out, maybe driving Morty to Clare's house wouldn't be such a great idea for a first impression. He didn't usually care about someone else's opinion, but this time it was different… He really wanted Clare's family to like him.
He walked to the front door, feeling terribly uncomfortable with the suit and he wondered if Clare had told her parents about them being official now. Every time Eli asked Clare if her parents knew about him she would shrug and changed the subject.
But she invited me over tonight, so… they must know something is going on between us, thought Eli.
He knocked just once before Clare opened the door swiftly, a grateful look on her face. "You're here," she said, and hugged him at once.
"Whoa, are you okay?" asked Eli, hugging her back. "What's wrong?"
"It's so awkward." said Clare quietly. "Darcy's fiancé is a nice guy, but my parents are hating each other right now and there's this tension… ugh."
"Oh wow… I'm sorry," said Eli as Clare let go of him and he was finally able to look at her. Clare looked amazing; she was wearing a dark blue dress that enhanced her perfect eyes. He gulped as his eyes fixed on the cross around her neck and a little lower, glancing for a brief second at her modest cleavage.
"It's okay," shrugged Clare. "Now that you're here, maybe…. Oh, I don't know anymore. Oh, come in, come in."
Eli walked in awkwardly, dreading the night ahead.
"Well, Randall, if you think that you have a better opinion about the state of the church right now, just say it!"
"Jesus Christ, Helen, calm down!"
"Mom, I was just making a comment, okay?"
Clare's eyes met with Eli's as they both listened to the angry conversation coming from the living room and Eli quickly grabbed Clare's hand, holding it tightly. His fingers slid instantly between hers and he kissed her forehead, feeling how Clare was shaking slightly.
"Don't cry," he breathed. "Everything will be okay. I'm here."
Clare let go of his hand and beckoned him to follow, and both walked into the living room, Eli's heart racing with nerves.
"Hey guys, " she said, and everyone turned to look at them. "This is Eli… my English partner."
English partner? Eli glanced at Clare, who shot him a meaningful look. He felt slightly upset at the fact that Clare hadn't been clear to her family about the nature of their relationship, but decided to discuss that later.
"My mom and my dad," said Clare as she pointed at her parents uneasily.
Clare's parents merely nodded at Eli, and he felt suddenly sorry for Clare. All the tension was affecting Clare badly, and he wanted to take her with him and never look back.
"Nice to meet you," said Eli politely.
"You invited your English partner to a family dinner, huh?" asked Darcy knowingly. "Hi, Eli, I'm Darcy. Clare's sister. This is Greg, my fiancé."
A young man sitting next to Darcy grinned at Eli, waving his hand friendly. "I'm the lucky man," he said with a heavy British accent.
"Maybe we can go to the dining room now?" said Mrs. Edwards briskly. "We were just waiting for you, Eli."
Were you really? thought Eli bitterly.
"Eli got here on time, mom," said Clare patiently.
"Let's just eat, okay?" sighed Mr. Edwards, looking extremely tired.
Clare looked at Eli as everybody stood up, her eyes filled with sadness. "Thanks for being here," she whispered.
Clare seemed miserable, and this made Eli's heart ache. He didn't want her to suffer, he wanted her to be happy and enjoy every single minute of her life. Sitting through an insufferable dinner to make her feel better was the least he could do.
"No problem."
Clare
The clink of forks and knives was the only thing one could hear in the room, nobody spoke. Darcy and Clare would exchange glances every now and then, and Clare felt grateful that Eli was sitting next to her.
Most of the dinner had gone by in silence, and Clare just wanted to leave. She wanted to be somewhere else with Eli; she couldn't be around her family anymore.
"So, dad, how do you like your new apartment?" asked Darcy out of nowhere.
"It's small, but decent," said Mr. Edwards.
"Yeah, you must love it," said Clare's mom snappily.
"Greg and I are moving to London after we're done volunteering," said Darcy, ignoring her mother's comment.
"Oh, that's how you met?" asked Eli. "Volunteering?"
"Yes," said Greg, looking lovingly at Darcy. "It was love at first sight." Darcy and Greg shared a quick kiss, and Clare felt suddenly bitter. Darcy looked so happy, she didn't have to deal with what Clare had to deal with.
"Sorry that everything was so sudden," said Darcy, giggling as Greg kissed her on the cheek.
"It's funny because mom got an e-mail from you telling her that you had a boyfriend," mused Clare. " And then next week, bam, you're engaged!"
"Well, we don't get a lot of Internet service over there," explained Darcy. "I had been dating Greg for a while before telling mom and he proposed like a day after that, and-"
"So, you had time to e-mail mom and not me?" blurted Clare angrily.
"Clare…" Darcy started, and Clare felt Eli's fingers slid between hers under the table. That was enough for Clare, she felt suddenly strong and supported, and opened her mouth to speak.
"Listen, I e-mailed you a thousand times, telling you about everything that was going on in here," snapped Clare. "And you ignored every single one of them."
"I didn't know what to say," said Darcy.
"Of course not. You were over there, living your perfect little life and you just abandoned me!"
Silence engulfed the room and Greg seemed uncomfortable as he stared at the ceiling. Clare's parents stared at their plates, pretending not to hear anything, and this pushed Clare over the edge.
"All of you did!" yelled Clare, slamming her hands on the table. "Mom, dad, Darcy. You all treated me like I was invisible, like I wasn't aware of anything!"
"Clare, please calm down, we have guests," said Mrs. Edwards sternly.
"I don't care," said Clare furiously.
"Clare, the reason why I didn't answer those e-mails… I mean… I couldn't believe what you were saying," said Darcy. "I refused to believe that our family was falling apart and-"
"Distance makes everything easier, Darcy," cried Clare. "Doesn't it? You're so far away that you can pretend not to hear my cries for help because, well, you don't see me every day. You weren't here, listening to their fighting, and then having to endure the cold silence! You rarely called, and I thought that you were not only my sister but a friend. How wrong I was! I got sick, Darcy. All this wretchedness affected my body, everything! And I was here, all alone, abandoned by own sister!"
"I never abandoned you, Clare!"
"Yes, you did. I was there for you when you needed me the most… and you couldn't even offer me one word of support," sighed Clare sadly, shaking uncontrollably as Eli held on to her hand.
"Girls, please," groaned Mr. Edwards.
"I'm done," said Clare, standing up and looking at Eli. "Can we leave now?"
Eli looked mildly amused but stood up immediately. "Sure."
"Where do you think you're going?" retorted Mrs. Edwards. "Sit down!"
"I'm spending the night with my boyfriend," deadpanned Clare.
Mr. Edwards raised his eyebrows. "Boyfriend?"
"You're spending the night?" choked Eli.
"This has been quite a delightful evening," grinned Greg, seemingly entertained.
Clare grabbed Eli's hand and dragged him along with her, stopping by the living room to grab a bag. "Um, did you have this planned?" asked Eli, staring at the bag. "You're full of surprises, Clare Edwards."
"Let's go," said Clare, and they left the house.
Eli
He drove in silence, and he would glance at Clare every now and then to make sure that she was doing okay. She had cried a little but recovered eventually. Eli parked Cece's car near the park and shut down the engine as he listened to Clare's shallow breathing.
"Let's walk," he said simply, and both got out of the car. The park was deserted except for a couple joggers, and Eli stared at the starry sky as they walked. Eli spotted a bench under a lamppost and they both sat, not talking for a couple minutes.
"I know that it was an unpleasant night but… at least you got that out of your system," said Eli finally. "That's a good thing."
"Darcy's face… I made her feel bad," muttered Clare. "I feel so guilty."
"It's okay," said Eli, grabbing her hand. "You will be able to talk things out. And don't you dare feel guilty. That's my job."
Clare chuckled, and Eli wiped the tears off her face with his sleeve. "Oh, Eli, you're wearing a suit," mumbled Clare.
"It only took you forever to notice," smirked Eli.
"You look very handsome," smiled Clare. She moved closer to him and tugged on his tie, gulping. Eli wanted to know what was going through Clare's mind, and he put an arm around her. Clare looked up to him and Eli kissed her, trying to be slow and gentle.
"Do you want me to drive you to your house?" asked Eli.
"No. I meant it when I said that I was spending the night with you," said Clare obstinately.
"Oh." He thought of his room and panicked slightly.
"Don't get too excited… I'm not having sex with you," said Clare quickly. "I just want to stay out of there, and I don't want to bother Alli again."
"What? You're not having sex with me?" mocked Eli. "Bummer. I think I have a couch to spare, though."
"Couch sounds good," smiled Clare and they kissed again, this time with more intensity. He loved to explore the insides of Clare's mouth, he knew that a certain pace made her hold him closer, and he enjoyed how Clare would seem suddenly very possessive.
"I just want you to feel better," gasped Eli as Clare pressed her lips against his beck.
"I already do," said Clare sincerely. "It's like every time you're with me… I feel lighter."
Eli leaned in and kissed the spot behind Clare's ear as he remembered the lyrics of an old song Bullfrog used to sing out loud whenever Cece seemed upset.
"Take a load off Fanny, take a load for free," muttered Eli into Clare's ear. "And you can put the load right on me."
"That is a really old song," giggled Clare as Eli nibbled playfully on her earlobe. Eli brushed the tip of his nose against Clare's cheek , tracing a line until his nose brushed hers.
"I'm just trying to tell you that I'm here for you," breathed Eli, his lips dangerously close to Clare's.
"Me too," said Clare as their lips brushed.
"No matter what?" Eli thought of his hoarding, of Julia, of that terrible night, and he wondered if Clare would stay after knowing about everything.
"No matter what."