JACKSON'S POV:
If I hear crying one more time, this is what I'm gonna do.
First, I'm going to find the largest, heaviest frying pan in the whole house. Next, I will stick it on the burner so it's niiice and hot. Then I will repeatedly beat myself over the head with it until my ability to hear is diminished. After that, I will reheat the frying pan and stab holes through it. Moreover, I will stick nails into the holes. Finally, I will hunt down the two responsible for that child and beat them with the nail-filled frying pan.
Then, maybe, I'll be able to sleep.
"Oh, what's wrong with the baby? If he sleepy? Is he a sleepy baby?" Dad exclaimed to Cole.
There is nothing more disturbing than hearing my Dad talk in a baby voice. Consequently, I felt sick to my stomach.
Cole smiled with tears still shinning in his eyes from his last tearful spaz attack. I swear, I've never heard that baby cry this much when he was with Miley! Although, when he got upset, all she had to do was sing and he shut-up.
Well she's Hannah Montana so how is that fair to me?! I don't have a way to get the kid to shut-up!
"Aw, your just the cutest thing! Can you say 'Pappy'? Come on, you can do it!"
I rolled my eyes. The baby wasn't even old enough to laugh and dad was trying to get it to talk. Figures.
The baby just smiled in response.
"Coley poley was a very rolly boy...he smiled all the time, and even at his pappy's rhyme!" Dad sang to Cole. I gagged.
I swear, I think I just threw up in the back of my throat...
Suddenly, Dad's cell phone goes off. He kisses Cole before answering it. I scowl as I finish chewing my sandwich.
"What? No- but- okay- can we just talk about this?! She's not ready! I know she's been on leave for over a year...you can't just drop her like that! You know the circumstances! END OF THE WEEK!? Look, come on, have a heart! Ugh! Now? But I can't, I'm babysitting. But...well...fine." He snapped the phone shut with a huff. I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Record company says they are going to drop Hannah if she doesn't have her CD done by Thursday, and have herself ready to preform Friday." He said as he glared at the phone as if it was it's fault.
It was Monday, so I wasn't sure who they thought my sister was. She's not superwoman! She still had to record two more songs! And the poor kid couldn't remember her older songs! The recording company wanted a big blow out show...four songs from everyone of Hannah's albums...then her WHOLE new one.
Did they just want my sister to lose her voice?
Suddenly, before I know what's happening, Dad is setting Cole in my arms.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is this for?" I screamed through my sandwich, pointing at my nephew.
"You gotta watch him until I get back from the recording company."
"Dad! I'm not a baby person! I can't take care of this...!!" I exclaimed, motioning to the screaming baby.
"Just make weird faces at him, he loves it."
"Oh, so that's why he likes Miley!"
"Ten dollars an hour."
"One-hundred an hour." I said stubbornly. Dad scowls,
"No! I'll just take him with me!"
"Fifty an hour."
"No."
"Twenty."
"Fifteen is my final offer." He says. I frown.
"Fine. But for an extra twenty I'll sing the kid a lullaby!"
"No thanks, I'll spare him the pain." Dad smiles before grabbing his jacket, keys, and mustache. Once he's gone, I stare fearfully down at the kid.
"Between you and me, I hate the name Cole." I said to him.
He stared up at me.
"So I'm calling you Little Bubi."
He blinked.
"Ya know, like Buddy and Bubba mixed?"
No reply.
"Tough crowd...so..." I muttered, "what do you do for fun? Your, what, a month old or something? Do you eat solid food?" I picked up my sandwich and held it to his face. He reached up and touched it and made baby noises.
"Obviously not. Uh, do you like to play catch?"
He made a cute baby gurgle noise...NO!! Cute? Who wrote that! I swear, when I find the person who made me think that I'll hurt them!! Trying to make me look like a pansy...hmph.
"Do you do...anything?"
More adorable noises...No! I will not turn into Lilly with her baby cooing!
I sighed and cradled his small body. He looked up at me with bright blue eyes...hm, those are Miley's eyes. I can see it. Oh, and he has her nose! It's a good thing the kid looks more like Miley than the other creator..
His bottom lip quivered before he starting crying. I frantically grabbed the small bottle that was two thirds full of baby formula and stuck it in his mouth. The crying ceased and he shut his eyes while he drank.
Hm, I wonder how that tastes? I pulled the bottle away and tasted it.
Ew. No wonder the poor baby is crying! This stuff tastes like shit! I stuck it back into his mouth and he looked content again.
Suddenly, the phone went off. I set the baby down quickly and answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Um...does Miley Stewart live here?"
"Well...yes and no."
"Meaning?"
"She doesn't live here but she's my sister...and well...her name isn't Miley Stewart anymore but still!" I exclaimed.
"Oh, well, can you tell her to call Ashley Tisdale the next time you talk to her?"
My throat closed up. ASHLEY TISDALE WAS ON THE PHONE!!!! It's time to release my great wooing powers!!!
"I would, for a price." I said in my Jacksonator voice.
"Meaning?" She said that a lot.
"Hm, a date sounds good. Maybe Sunday...me and you, movie and dinner?"
"Umm...who is this again?"
I rolled my eyes. Silly, silly girl.
"This is Jackson Stewart."
"Oh! You are the one that used your sister for fame!!"
I rolled my eyes, "Sure, but I'm also known for being a sexy beach god!"
She snorted, "Really? Well, mister beach god, I think movie and dinner sounds pretty good. I'll call you."
Score! "Alright, I'll tell my sister to call you. See you later, baby."
She laughed, "Bye, Jackson."
I shut my phone and did a happy dance.
I MEAN, a very MANLY series of jumps. I turned around to pick up the baby again...
Wait, where did I put him again? I set him down...but where?
Oh my God. I lost my sister's newborn baby. Man, this is going to hurt me at Christmas big time!!
Suddenly, the phone rang again. I jumped for the receiver,
MILEY'S POV:
"OLIVER!" I screamed as I grabbed his arm. He was stuffing food I'm willing to bet all my millions of dollars on that he didn't know the name of down his throat.
"Wha?" He called with his mouth full.
"Lilly is down in the WILD party, downing alcoholic drinks with Jesse!"
The poor boy's eyes widened and he choked on all his food. He was up and running out of the room before I could blink. He was really hung up on Lilly, too bad she didn't feel the same way.
I followed him down to the party and fought my way through the HORRIBLE crowd. People were laughing, yelling, drinking and falling all over the place just like a few minutes ago. It was disgusting. I saw Jake standing by Jesse and threatening him about something. Oliver was beside Lilly and whispering to her. Her eyes were downcast and she looked guilty and sad. As he continues whispering to her, a smile broke out on her face and she muttered something to Jesse and stood up.
Then, she walked out of the party with Oliver. What the freak?! Now that's just wrong. I spent so much longer trying to get her out than him and he already had her smiling and away from Jesse. Jake came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.
"Let's get out of here," He muttered as he flicked some guy off that was looking at me. I laughed lightly and kissed him.
We shoved our way through the crowd and climbed up the stairs to the respectable areas. Our drinks and food were sitting at our table.
"I took the liberty of ordering the best foods for you," The waiter said as he saw us. I smiled and thanked him. Lilly and Oliver were sitting at a table beside us, looking totally observed in conversation.
Somehow, I know I'll never know what Oliver said to Lilly.
"I wonder how Cole is doing." I said as I took a drink from my drink. It was the lemonade. How did the waiter know I wanted that...?
"Call and ask." Jake suggested. It seemed like a good idea. I nodded and pulled out my cell phone and dialed the home number.
Jackson's POV
"Little Bubi?" I screamed into the phone. Okay so maybe I really thought he would be calling, but you never know!
"Jackson?" Miley's voice came through the speaker.
Oh no. This is NOT good. I laughed nervously,
"Oh, hey sis!! As much as I would LOVE to talk, I have to go find C- something."
"Wait, why did you say "little bubi" at the beginning when you picked up the phone?"
"Uhh...I was talking to the little guy and I forgot to say hello!"
Her voice perked up considerably, "Cole's still awake then? Let me speak to him!"
"Miles, he can't talk!"
"I don't care, hold the phone up to his face!"
I sighed. She was not making this easy. I put the phone to my face again and said in a high pitched voice,
"Goo goo gah gah!!"
I could almost feel her anger, "Jackson, that is not Cole! Where is he?!"
I stayed silent. The anger rose in her voice as she said in her very frightening deadly voice, "What did you do?!"
"Well, you see, it's a very long story..."
"You'd better hurry up and cut to the chase boy!" She spat with her familiar country accent coming out in her fury.
"Okay so Dad left and I was playing with Little Bubi--
"DAD LET YOU WATCH COLE!?"
"Yes, and we were getting along perfectly until Ashley Tisdale called...and then, well, I set him down somewhere and I can't find him."
"WHAT!? YOU LOST MY BABY!? JACKSON ROD STEWART, I AM COMING HOME NOW AND WHEN I GET THERE MY BABY BETTER BE UNHARMED AND FOUND!!"
I gulped, "...and if he isn't?"
"Then welcome to hell!" She screamed before hanging up.
She took that well.
"Okay," I muttered to myself as I looked around the living room, "he's gotta be in here somewhere! I mean, he can't walk or anything!
Panic was getting to me. What if the kid rolled somewhere and died? I'll never be able to sleep at night! I'd be a baby killer!
I attacked the couch and looked between the cushions and everything! No baby!
Two hours later, I had searched the whole house top to bottom. No baby.
"Little Bubi?!" I called desperately in a small voice as I laid on the floor.
"Little Bubi, come out come out wherever you are..." I whispered as I traced patterns in the carpet, "pleaseee? For uncle Jackson? Little Bubi, why are you doing this to me?!"
Suddenly, the door was thrown open. I looked up to see Miley standing in the doorway looking more scared than mad.
"Did you find him?" She demanded.
"He's disappeared!"
"Babies don't disappear!" Jake muttered as he strolled in and looked around. A terrifying thought crossed my mind.
We all caught each other's eyes, apparently the same thought had hit us.
Luke couldn't have taken Little Bubi could he?
"MWHAHAHA!!!"
I jerk up. I knew that laugh. Miley's eyes narrowed and Jake looked confused.
"Who said that?" She asked.
"Look over here, bubble brain!" She looked around.
"Look down."
She looked down to see none other than small little Rico standing there with a sleeping Little Bubi in his arms.
"Rico!" I thought she was going to kill him! Instead, she hugs him tightly and kisses his cheek,
"You little angel! Your such a sweetheart!"
He looks confused, "Sweetheart? I broke into your house, took the baby from the seat while Jackson was on the phone, and hid with him and your thanking me?!"
She just took Little Bubi from his arms and kissed him before saying, "He could have been hurt. But he isn't...in fact...he looks pretty happy!"
She rocked him gently in her arms before exclaiming to Jake, "We better call your Mother and my father and tell them we found him!" She kisses Cole again before turning to me and saying,
"Can you handle holding him long enough for me to go to the car and get something? If you are going to let a munchkin run off with him again then I'll just take him back..."
"No, I can handle it." She carefully handed him to me and sprinted off quickly. I rocked the baby and felt more relieved then I've felt in a long time.
"You know what, Little Bubi, you are actually pretty darn cute."