I didn't know why the hell I was telling Jake all of this. Quite frankly, it was none of his damn business, but I just couldn't help myself. For some strange reason, I felt this overwhelming urge to spill my guts to him. Stupid fucking female hormones. They're such bullshit. But after spending the past year keeping these emotions at bay, I knew they were just dying to come out.

"Why do you blame yourself? I mean technically . . . you didn't do anything," he explained, interrupting my reverie with a stupid look on his face like he was shocked.

I sighed before replying, a little annoyed. "If I never would have invited her to come down and visit, if I never would have introduced them, this never would have happened. It's my own fault." I hung my head in disappointment.

He wiped his hand across his face and shook his head. "Leah, even if you hadn't invited Emily to come visit when you did, she still would have came eventually. What if you and Sam had been married by then?" He turned to look at me knowingly.

I looked up at him, opening my mouth to object but didn't and instead, looked back down at my lap. "You're right. I couldn't keep him from her forever. She would have been a bridesmaid at the wedding." I closed my eyes, holding back the tears that were forming as I thought of being left at the alter. "What if it would have happened then? At the wedding? Or the day before at the fucking rehearsal? Everything would have already been taken care of and then just like that, he would be gone." I shook my head in disgust. "I guess I should just be happy that it happened when it did, before we had been married for ten years or whatever. But I just can't get over the heartbreaking feeling I get every time I think of him with her. I mean . . . she's my fucking cousin, Jacob! My family! I was stabbed in the back by my own flesh and blood!" I screamed as the tears betrayed me and begun spilling down my cheeks.

I think he was at a loss for words by this point. Probably scared shitless because I was finally opening up about what had happened, to him of all people. I could have sworn I saw his hand twitch as his body leaned closer to mine. Was he going to hug me? Really? I wish he would have, but I wouldn't hold my breath for it.

"Leah," he sighed as he returned to an upright position.

Maybe I wasn't hallucinating after all. Way to ruin a good moment, Leah.

I waved him off, trying to act like I didn't want his sympathy. "It's fine.. You don't need to say anything."

"No, no! You're getting me all wrong here. I want to help . . . if I can," he stated sincerely.

I shook my head in response. He wanted to help? I'm not sure if he knew what he was getting himself into.

"I don't want to be this person anymore, Jacob," I choked out as a sob ripped through my chest. "I never wanted to be this . . . monster. I just . . . I just want a normal life." I couldn't stand to look up at him, so I kept my gaze steady on my hands.

"Leah, this is part of who you are. And you can have a normal life!" he pleaded, trying to convince me that he was right.

Why was Jacob so caring? I hated it. All I wanted to do was be alone . . . with him. Shut up, Leah! He doesn't want you!

I cut him off before he could finish his thought. "I can't. I'll never be okay. I'll never find someone to love me." I furiously wiped at the tears that were now pouring down my face. "I'm just not good enough!" I yelled at him.

He turned to face me. Reaching out and grabbing my waist, he gently pulled me into a tight embrace. He must have been out of things to say, or maybe still doped up on morphine because this was way out of character for him. My brain was telling me to resist but I just couldn't. I needed this. I needed him in that moment. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder.

"It's time for you to let this go. It's time for you to move forward with your life. Heal your broken heart and get over Sam already. He's never coming back, so what's the point in putting yourself through all of this agony over somebody who's so undeserving of your love?" he whispered soothingly into my hair.

I choked back another sob. "It's . . . it's not that easy."

He laughed softly. "I know it's easier said than done, but you have the strength to do it, Leah. You just need to believe in yourself."

I laughed at the irony. "I think you need to heed your own advice, Jacob."

He took a deep breath before responding. "Yeah, maybe you're right." I felt him exhale against my chest. "But you've had more time to heal than I have, Leah. My wounds are still fresh."

I sighed as I tightened the embrace, hoping to comfort him in the same way he was comforting me. "I know, Jake," damn it, I let it slip, "But you might as well start now instead of wallowing in your own self-pity for a year like I have."

I could feel his soft nod against my shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. I know."

I smiled. "Thank you, Jake." I whispered between sniffles.

"Sure, sure. Anytime, Leah," he said as he rocked me gently, rubbing soothing circles across my back.

I don't know how long we sat there — me crying on his shoulder, but when I finally pulled away, I felt much better. I laughed lightly as I wiped the last of the tears from my face and looked up at him, a small, appreciative smile spreading across my face.

I shook my head. "I guess I never realized how much of that I was really holding in."

He chuckled and shrugged. "It happens, but I'm glad you're feeling better, though." I wanted to smack that self-satisfied smile right off of his face.

"Jacob Black! Don't you dare think that this changes anything in our relationship. I still hate you," I stated as I folded my arms over my chest, resisting the way I really felt.

"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes. "I still hate you too, Leah. No worries."