My Dark Protector

Chapter 10

"I was thinking about going to the Muggle world and getting a few things for Harry to use as he gets better," Poppy said as Severus rejoined both of them after giving Harry his potions. "Like colouring-in books; he cannot get wizarding ones for obvious reasons." The pictures moved once they had been coloured in, or marginally so, and they were pictures of things you just didn't see in the Muggle world often: potions, cauldrons, flying on a broomstick, giants, trolls, dragons, phoenixes... the whole shebang.

"You're getting a bit ahead of yourself, aren't you?" Severus murmured wryly as he sat down.

"I won't have the time once Hogwarts starts up, Severus. I don't know what we're going to do ― we can't split ourselves in two without a Time-Turner," Poppy said defensively; it was something that was constantly on her mind, day and night.

"You don't have to do it alone; I can help," Remus said in exasperation. Why were they so determined to exclude everyone? If they could just let him and Sirius help, they would be able to do all they needed to without the strife and worry.

"Do you have any medical knowledge?" Severus asked him impassively, giving Poppy a look that said he was getting extremely annoyed with the werewolf. Lupin wasn't listening to what they were trying to tell him; what the hell was the point in talking if he was just going to ignore all advice?

"No…but…" Remus began, feeling very angry that they weren't even going to give him a chance.

"Then you are incapable of taking care of a child who is not only physically but mentally… challenged," Severus stated, not sure how else he could put it. Harry might never be able to look after himself; for all they knew, he might always need a magical guardian. He might always have the outlook of a child; they just didn't know the extent of the damage that had been done. His magic could have shielded him from the worst of it, which would leave him with the Muggle equivalent of PTSD. He could be in denial that it had happened, refusing to speak about it, and having horrific nightmares of his time in HER hands. Regardless of his magic helping him ―if it had even been able to do so― he had still been treated horrifically for the majority of his life. All they could do was help him recover as much as he could.

"It seems to me that you don't want anyone to help," Remus said, speaking honestly.

Severus abruptly stood up, his face furious, before he was making his way through to his bedroom, and out of sight.

"I did not bring you down here to disparage Severus' word," Poppy told Remus, rubbing at her forehead. She honestly didn't know what to do anymore; they were making life so uncomfortable, and she knew of no other possible way to have them understand. Even Remus, as smart as he was, didn't understand how fragile the boy was. She knew he was trying, Merlin help them, he was trying, but the depth of Harry's captivity just couldn't be recognized or understood, especially by those who had known him as a baby. Severus was right; they did have an idealised vision, one that, despite all their attempts, couldn't be scrapped. They didn't want it to be, only truly seeing Harry would break through to them.

Severus returned with a file clutched in his hands; he removed the pictures and flung them at Remus, scattering them all over the werewolf. "Look at them! Look at him! Do you even know the first thing about healing? They aren't instantly going to get better. It's going to take months to get them healed, and by months I mean the better part of a year," hissed Severus. "It will take just as long to get some weight on him. Do you seriously think you can face that without sobbing your pathetic little heart out? Touching― no, even…walking near him terrifies him... does that sink into your brain?"

Remus gathered the pictures and turned them over, as his stomach rebelled dangerously again. He couldn't believe how low Snape was going, showing him pictures like that ― they were horrific. There was nothing more for him to sick up; he hadn't eaten much this morning. This meeting hadn't gone the way he'd hoped, and he wasn't sure what else he could say to help matters. He didn't want to make them worse, that was for damn certain.

"This aside, surely you can understand our desire to see Harry, at the very least?" Remus questioned, looking mostly at Poppy.

"Yes, we understand that, but it isn't easy. We aren't doing this for amusement; we are doing it for Harry's sake," replied Poppy, her tone grim.

"To give him the best chance he has at recovering," added Severus sharply.

"We do love him," Remus told them desperately. "Why else would we try so hard to look for him?"

Severus snorted at that announcement, causing Remus to glance at him, slightly confused. "What?" he then said, demanding an explanation for the snort of derision at the statement.

"Tell me, if you love Harry so much…why is there always something more important to you?" sneered Severus.

Poppy closed her eyes, she could see how this conversation was going to play out, and she honestly didn't want to be stuck in the middle. She was grateful she had thought to put a silencing spell around the living room; the last thing Harry needed to wake up to was yelling. Nothing was going to bring these men together, not even Harry's condition. There was too much bad blood between them. She couldn't have this bitterness around Harry.

"There is nothing more important!" Remus said vehemently. "To either me or Sirius!"

"Really? So he didn't allow Harry to go with Hagrid instead of taking care of him, and going after Pettigrew? Getting himself arrested and imprisoned?" sneered Severus, "And you, you just hid with your tail between your legs, deciding never to visit the child?"

"Like you did!?" spat Remus.

"He didn't know me," Severus growled at the sheer nerve of Lupin, comparing him to his godfather or a man he'd called uncle. If he had been that close to Harry, he would have visited him; he took his duty very seriously. "Even if I had been friends with Lily still, Potter wouldn't have let me within ten feet of his son." He'd only ever seen Harry in passing; the boy had been about a year old when Lily had brought him to an Order meeting. Harry had babbled away, happy as could be, enjoying the attention and being cooed over.

"Lily wouldn't have let that stop her; she had such a fiery temper on her," Poppy said, in bittersweet amusement.

Remus grimaced in pain as it jabbed at his heart; if she had seen her son this way…Merlin, she would have raged against everyone and everything. Could he have avoided all this if he had visited Harry? Was he really at fault for what had happened? He couldn't take this; Remus blindly stood up, and stumbled from Severus Snape's rooms, through his office, and out through the classroom.

He stumbled blindly out of Hogwarts, and went down the path and Apparated back to his and Sirius' flat, his spirit utterly crushed as guilt and grief consumed him whole. Tears poured freely down the werewolf's face as he sobbed into the couch, trying to keep quiet and not wake Sirius up. He didn't want to see him, never mind talk to him, when he was in this kind of state.

"I see he's all settled in?" Albus said, stepping into the bedroom and staring, wide-eyed. It was a far cry from the unused room it had been a few hours prior. The walls were painted a lovely shade of cream; the floor had rugs on pretty much every available surface of it. They were all green and silver, probably from the Slytherin store cupboards, where everything the dorms needed were kept... that or the Room of Lost Things, where the House-Elves occasionally got items from. He had decided to take time off from the mountain of paperwork to see how they were getting on with the move.

"Yes," replied Severus, and he hadn't woken up again, which was quite worrying, if he was honest with himself. He put down the Potions book he was reading while he spoke to the Headmaster ― he wasn't an ignorant, unmannered person. Although many people would claim he was, there was a difference between being ignorant and being blunt.

"Is there anything else he needs?" Albus enquired, wishing to help in any way he could. His feelings of guilt would never leave, that much was obvious, but he wished to ease it somewhat; hopefully somewhere down the road it would be better.

"Nothing right now," said Severus.

"Severus, are you sure you can do this?" Albus asked, gazing at Harry sadly.

"Do you not trust me with Potter's son?" Severus sneered.

"Severus," Albus curtly rebuked him, shaking his head in disappointment.

"I'm sorry, Albus; Lupin was here earlier, and he got to me," Severus admitted, closing his book with a snap.

"How's that?" Albus enquired in surprise; it took a lot to get to his stoic Potions Master. Entering the room more fully, he sat down in one of the available seats. His piercing gaze never wavered from Severus as he urged him to answer.

"The basics are that Lupin and Black only ever had Harry's best interests at heart, that they just wanted him to get better. I got angry and told Lupin the truth. If Harry had been so important to them, then Black should never have handed Harry over; he should have taken care of him, himself. Then Lupin wouldn't have crawled away and hid for the past however many years. The only comeback he had was to blame me as well," Severus explained, his hands tightening into fists as he thought about it again.

"You were not Harry's godfather, or named in their will," Albus said, staring blankly. No; the only people that had been mentioned were Sirius, and of course Frank and Alice, who, by the time the will had been read, had no longer been able to take care of themselves, never mind a toddler. "As far as I am aware, you didn't have any contact with Harry, so why would he say a thing like that?" Severus had been a childhood friend of Lily's; they had stopped being friends in their teenage years—when they'd been fifteen, if he remembered correctly, six years before she'd died.

"Guilt, anger…" Severus sardonically suggested. "There's a lot of it going around, and none of it will do Harry the slightest bit of good." Nor would pity. He would need to learn to keep himself calm around the idiots, especially in this room. Unfortunately, when Black or Lupin were around ―albeit mostly Black― he just lost it. They knew how to get under his skin, just as he knew them well enough to do the same back.

"Very true, Severus; I hope the same will be applied to you?" asked Albus, but he knew well enough that Severus was very good at holding his temper. It was something he was legendary for having; one wrong snap and that would be it. However, he needed to trust both Poppy and Severus to oversee Harry's getting better. He couldn't allow the Ministry to get their hands on him, and he knew that if he came forward with a request to be Harry's magical guardian, it would surround him with Ministry officials, sneaking about trying to see if he had Harry, so that was out of the question.

"Of course," Severus said indignantly. He hadn't agreed to this on a whim; he would do his best by Harry and heal him, just as he had vowed to do. He would not fail Harry again; he absolutely refused.

"I'm pleased to hear that, Severus, and you have my permission to evict Remus or Sirius from Hogwarts if it gets to be too much," Albus promised. "Harry does come first, I agr…"

"Quiet," Severus said hushing him, his face becoming a calm mask; any anxiety or anger just bled away. Albus was awed just watching it; it was little wonder he had survived as a spy, he inwardly thought. "Go through to the living room and get some broth for him; Roz knows what he's allowed, so use her. Slow movements only around him, and for Merlin's sake, Albus, don't smile or beam at him as though you're happy to see him ― he only knew pain when that happened."

Albus blinked at the command; he wasn't used to being told what to do, least of all by his employees, but he knew there was a reason for it. So he stood up slowly, and began to leave the room before Harry even opened his eyes. Who had he said? Roz or had it been Rose? What was it? "Roz?" called Albus quietly, hoping it was the right name. He couldn't recall any house elves at Hogwarts with the name, so he was hopeful.

"How can Roz be helping Headmaster?" asked Roz, evidently knowing who he was.

"Can you bring something to eat for Harry, please?" Albus asked of her.

"Roz will get food for your guest," said Roz, bowing low before she was gone.

Albus moved silently towards the door, peering in and watching Severus interact with Harry. Hearing the way he was speaking caused him to relax completely and trust that this was indeed the right decision. Severus was the perfect person to help Harry; his voice was very soothing when he wasn't barking at people. He turned his attention away from the boy's room when he heard a quiet pop indicating that Roz was back with the food.

"Here is the food, Headmaster," the house elf said, handing over the tray and disappearing before Albus could get in a word edgewise; he just gripped the tray more tightly, surprised by the abruptness of it all. Breathing evenly, he took another deep breath before relaxing himself completely. He was terrified by what awaited him in there; could he stand and see the look in Harry's eyes? He was used to students glaring at him suspiciously, in anger, in awe, in reverence…could he take whatever Harry doled out?

Exhaling sharply, knowing he had no choice, he entered the bedroom; he swallowed thickly as those green eyes immediately locked onto him, terror and another unidentifiable emotion in them. He could hear everything, apparently, if he'd heard him from outside the room. Dumbledore moved towards Severus and placed the tray of food on the table before sitting down. He must be a secret masochist, thought Albus, wondering why he was even thinking of staying.

"Are you hungry, Harry?" Severus asked soothingly, gauging the boy's response to his words and wondering if he understood. He watched, feeling triumphant as those green eyes automatically locked with the food before settling back on him. Oh, he understood what was being said, all right; this was good, it was exhilarating, and hopefully not a coincidence. He was still saying nothing, though, but he would get there― Harry would learn to trust him; that he would bet one hundred percent. "Would you like something to eat?" he asked, once again gauging him, but Harry wouldn't give. He continued to stare at him with fear and torment in his eyes. Severus noticed, however that it wasn't as bad as it had been just yesterday; as always, giving food was a way to earn trust... but keeping it would be the difficult part. He would figure out how advanced Harry was sooner or later, but if he had to bet, he would put him mentally at between the ages of one and five.

"I need to put some pillows at your back," Severus said soothingly. Harry was lying flat on his back, which wasn't ideal for someone trying to eat ― unless you wanted to choke him, which he most certainly didn't. Reaching slowly, he lifted Harry, using the pillow instead of touching him, but despite that he could feel the shaking, the flinching, so he moved a little more swiftly until Harry was leaning up. Then the repugnant smell of ammonia hit his nose. He wasn't surprised by the smell, since Harry was dehydrated, and ammonia was a common smell in people that haven't had enough to drink. The pee was orange; he could see that from the covers. Shit, this was the last thing he needed right now― Harry couldn't tolerate anyone being hear him. He wasn't going to leave him in his own urine, though; he couldn't risk it getting into his wounds and infecting them. It would be difficult to help him, especially since he feared touch so badly.

"Run a bath, please, Albus," Severus said, not wishing to leave Harry alone. He knew it would only take a few seconds ― that was the beauty of magic. How the hell was he going to do this without Harry freaking out? It was at times like this that he wished he was able to use magic freely. Unfortunately, if Harry didn't tell them when he needed to go, there was just absolutely nothing they could do to prevent this sort of accident.

Severus drew the covers back, doing his best to ignore Harry's terror, which was evident in every shake of his rail-thin frame. Merlin, he would have preferred shouting, screaming... anything to this silent horror going through Harry. He knew nothing he said would make this any easier, so without further hesitation, he lifted Harry off the bed, keeping his touch as light as possible but making sure his burden wouldn't fall. Not that his weight was a problem; he'd held a five-year-old who weighed more than Harry did right now.

"It's all right; everything will be okay, I promise," Severus murmured, and it was a promise he vowed to keep. He moved out of the bedroom and into the steaming bathroom. Albus wasn't there. He had kept himself away; good. The water wasn't too high, but it was still pouring into the tub. With difficulty he removed Harry's pyjama bottoms and placed him on the toilet, keeping hold of him as he removed his top. He didn't need to let go of Harry to turn the taps off and test the water, since the toilet was within reaching distance of the bath. Perhaps it would be best to empty his bowels when he was asleep, or as it got halfway down his colon. That would save Harry some embarrassment, although he didn't think Harry was embarrassed by anything now…just scared.

Easing Harry off the toilet, he placed the teenager into the bath... and then to his profound sadness and happiness, a startled sound escaped from Harry's mouth. The smell of tea-tree oil filled the room; with the pain-reliever potions in the water, thankfully the wounds, which were uncovered for the moment, wouldn't be causing him pain. Grabbing a sponge, he began to delicately wash the teenager, who seemed to have stilled completely. It was as though he was surprised by the warmth of the water, or perhaps he was shutting down in an attempt to protect himself. Snape let the water level rise above the wounds, letting them be cleansed, but not quite touching them himself. Did he dare wash Harry's hair? The length of it was ridiculous, and it would need to be cut sooner or later, but until they knew how he was mentally, perhaps it would be best to leave it as it was.

Awkwardly holding onto Harry's neck, he tipped his head back a little and began to pour the water onto his hair, avoiding his face so as not to startle him badly. He did it twice before washing his hair with a combination of shampoo and conditioner, letting it sink into the dirty strands as he wiped at Harry's face. Looking into those green eyes, he wanted so badly to reassure him that he would be all right from now on. "Safe," Severus soothingly murmured, before he finished what he'd started and rinsed the shampoo out of Harry's hair. He would untangle it and run a brush through it later tonight; too much touching right now would just make everything ten times worse.

Grabbing a towel, he awkwardly got Harry out of the bath, and wrapped it around the boy as much as possible. Harry's head flopped onto his shoulder; he was either exhausted and asleep, or catatonic. Severus hoped this hadn't put him back to square one in gaining Harry's trust, but unfortunately it couldn't be avoided.

Getting him back through to the bedroom was easy, and with the fires lit in his quarters, it was warm enough. Nonetheless, with Harry unconscious he was able to spell him dry, before getting a new set of pyjamas on him, which had been placed on the warm, freshly made bed. The covers were turned down, making it easy for him to put Harry in on his side; he left the pillows in their propped-up position. Pulling the covers back over him, Severus sighed softly as he slumped down on his chair, exhausted.

"Nothing quite prepared me for this…Merlin only knows what Sirius and Remus will be like," Albus said, sounding hoarse as if he was trying to stop himself from becoming too emotional. Seeing the boy so broken was different from being told about it, and he felt a swell of protectiveness thrum through him. If anyone wanted to try to get to Harry, they would need to go through him. He would do whatever he had to do to protect Harry, and that extended to making whoever it was disappear for good. This entire experience had changed who he was, what he believed in, and what he wanted for the wizarding world. He'd always believed the best of everyone, despite the appearance to the contrary sometimes; this time… this time it had gone too far, and there was no going back. The darkness had finally touched him after all these years. The prophecy couldn't be fulfilled; there was no way that child on the bed could do it. Not even in five years' time; they couldn't ask him to hurt anyone…which left it up to him. Perhaps Harry's part had already been played, so it was up to him now. Albus prayed he was alive when Tom Riddle came back so he could destroy him and ensure Harry's future happiness. The boy wouldn't be touched by any more evil; that Albus Dumbledore swore with his magic and life. Magic flared inside him, binding him to his word; he would do everything in his considerable power to see it through.

Severus looked up from where he was sitting and nodded grimly in agreement, understanding without a word even having to be spoken.

Edited by Jordre and Jake :) thanks guys!