A Bastardly Addition:

It's been two weeks since Antonio and I have gone to counseling together. After our fight, counseling seemed like the only option. It was there that I learned more about his condition. I learned that my understanding of alcoholism was woefully misinformed. He had something called alcohol use disorder, a condition that merged traditional alcoholism and alcohol dependence. And since we had never talked about his experiences in rehab, as I had been terrified of potentially triggering his old habits again, this was all new information to me.

Antonio drank to cope, and had a strong psychological dependence on alcohol. He had a lot of anxiety that I had never known about. I had always thought that he had at least some control over his drinking habits. Turns out that after one drink, the control disappears. It's a slippery slope of one drink after the other. Antonio was naïve to think that he could control his drinking, but I was just as naïve for believing this as well. Antonio had an addictive personality, and would probably never be able to drink again. Now combine the PTSD caused by Francis' death and you end up with a giant mess of emotions.

My job as his partner was to reduce the number of stressors in his life. Turns out that me leaving him was potentially his biggest stressor. Well, me and his parents both. Antonio wouldn't be cutting off his ties with his family immediately, but until he got better, their communication with each other would be very limited.

Nothing much could be done about Francis's family either. Even though it was wrong for them to do so, Antonio was still banned from visiting his grave. Antonio's coping would have to be done far away from the main source of his guilt, unfortunately.

It was also recommended that Antonio and I eventually moved in together again. That way someone would always be there to look after him. You can only guess that I was skeptical about this suggestion, as I always put Feli first in my mind. That little girl deserved to grow up in a healthy environment, and until Antonio was healthy, we wouldn't be moving in with him anytime soon.

Predictably, said bastard had used this suggestion as his excuse to follow after me like a lost puppy everywhere that I went, including work. Today Yao just so happened to be out on a business trip, and so, Antonio was very easily able to sneak himself into the dining room. Oh well, I can't say that I was mad about this. Now I had a ride home as opposed to bussing. We would also be picking up Feli and Ludwig together, which always proved to be fun.

The older dining residents, more specially the women, were all ogling at Antonio and his 'good looks.' Antonio thrived under their attention and sent winks whenever he caught those old bats looking at him. Tch! He was such a moron.

What made Antonio even more of a moron was that he was trying to get Romulus, aka, 'Grandpa Roma' to like him. Apparently, the old fart believed that he had every entitled right to give his blessing to whomever I decided to date. He wasn't even related to me, for fuck's sake. We've only known each other for a little over a year.

I entered the dining room, rolling my eyes when I spotted Antonio kissing Romulus's ass, or rather, his foot. He was currently bent over, polishing Romulus's shoes with a vinegar-soaked napkin.

"How's that, Mr. Romulus, sir?"

Romulus leaned back into his chair, a devious smirk on his face. The ex-Mafiaso was wearing an outfit that was extravagantly douchey as always. It consisted of a red polo shirt and tan golfing pants. Ha, as if that fucker ever moved without the promise of food.

"Keep rubbing, boy. I want this shoe to gleam brighter than that pearly white smile of yours."

"Romulus," I scowled. "Stop taking advantage of my boyfriend. He's not a dog."

Romulus shrugged.

A group of elderly women gasped, bending over to whisper and gossip, but since they were all half-deaf, they were really just shouting at each other.

"That handsome young fellow can't possibly be dating a witch like that!"

"Preposterous!"

I whipped my head to the right. "Alice, honey," I patronized with a glare. "You forgot to turn on your hearing aid again. Oh, and those scones aren't low fat. I lied."

Satisfied with the series of shrilly screams that had erupted on the other end of the dining room, I made my way over to Romulus's table, pulling up a seat.

Antonio was still polishing Romulus's shoe as he turned to shed me with his characteristic dopey grin.

"Hola Lovi~!" He chirped. "You're looking muy beautiful today!"

"You literally just saw me half an hour ago," I deadpanned.

Stop being so fucking cute, damn it.

I then shifted my glare to Romulus, jabbing an index finger at his all too smug face.

"Oi! Where do you go off thinking that you can use him as your slave?!"

Antonio shrugged. "It's fine, really. I don't mind~!"

"It's not fine!" I snapped. "Did you actually think that he was going to give you his blessing? The old bastard only wants me for himself."

Romulus pouted. "I'm like the father that you never had. Is it really so bad that I want to spoil my little bambina?"

"Screw off!" I hissed.

Antonio looked up at Romulus, setting down his polishing napkin. "Is this true?" he asked the older man. "Do you really think that you can keep my Lovi to yourself?"

Oh God. There goes his possessive side again.

"Of course I do!" Romulus barked. "Where were you all this time, huh?! I helped this girl go through hell and back!"

"So did I!" Antonio fumed, standing up from the ground. He rolled down the sleeves of his black dress shirt, his green eyes narrowing with a competitive glare. "I love Lovina with all my heart! I'm trying my very best right now to work things through with her!"

Romulus rolled his eyes. "Will you sit down and at least try to act civilized? Dear me, Lovina. This boy has no respect," he tutted.

"That's rich coming from you," I snorted. This man had a record of harassing other waiters into bringing him more food. I was the only person in our work staff who had the balls to handle his hissy fits.

"No respect?! I just polished your shoes for forty-five minutes!" Antonio huffed, walking over to the empty seat resting between Romulus and I.

"Tsk! Tsk! Judging by the lack of callouses on your fingers, you probably haven't worked a day in your life," Romulus mused.

Antonio was buying right into Romulus's mind fuck.

"I'll have you know that I was senior executive at a very successful-AY!" Antonio cried out when Romulus swiped the chair from underneath his feet.

I burst out laughing, while Antonio rubbed his sore bottom, glaring up at Romulus's leering expression. "That was a dirty trick," he seethed, standing up to sit on the other side of me.

"It takes a player to know one," Romulus hummed.

"C'mere, you big baby," I cooed, pulling Antonio in for a kiss, much to Romulus's horror.

Romulus slapped a fist against the table. "Hey! Break it up you two!" he fumed. "I haven't given you my blessing yet!"

I pulled away from Antonio, turning to smirk at Romulus. "Blessing or not, this bastard never gives up."

"That's right~!" Antonio beamed.

"Che!" Romulus growled. "Tell me, boy. What do you have to offer to Lovina?"

"Hmmmm. Let's see," Antonio began to count on his fingers. "Love, money, good sex, and good looks."

I blushed furiously. Did he always have to be so open about everything?!

"Are you trying to say that I'm not good looking?!" Romulus snapped, thankfully disregarding the more personal information that Antonio's oblivious mouth had just leaked. This was probably only because of his big ego, but hey, you don't see me complaining.

"Well those frown lines certainly aren't doing you any favors," Antonio teased, draping a casual arm over my shoulders, only to shrink back when I spared him with a look cold enough to kill. Just like me, he too liked to dabble in the art of shit-disturbing. The difference was that only I could get away with it. Why? Because I said so!

Romulus crossed his arms, looking thoroughly displeased with me. "Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this cocky piece of shit?" he asked me in Italian.

I furrowed my brows. "I don't know. But I do love him very much. Feli adores him too."

"What about his drinking habits?"

"What are the heck are you guys saying?!" Antonio spluttered.

"Can it, bastardo," Romulus and I both snarled.

"Like he said, we're in the process of working through our problems," I answered.

"Keh, I still don't like him," Romulus grunted.

"You say that because you're not the only one who can spoil me with presents now."

"And what's so bad about that?" Romulus chuckled. "I've watched you grow so much in the past year. I only want the best for you."

I sniffed, feeling my eyes burn. "Stop, you're going to make me cry, you old fart."

"WHY ARE YOU MAKING MY LOVI CRY?!" Antonio roared.

"I THOUGHT WE TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!" Romulus and I shouted, in perfect synchronization once more.

Antonio's shoulders hunched in on themselves further.

"My, my I've never seen you show this much emotion before. Well, other than anger. You must really like this boy."

"I do," I giggled. Antonio fussed over me like a mother hen and began to dab at the tears streaking down my face with a handkerchief.

Romulus reached over the table to grab my hand, squeezing it gently. "Oh fine. I'll give you my blessing on one condition."

"And what makes you think that I need your blessing?" I smirked.

"Just this once will you let me pretend that you're my child?" Romulus sighed.

I nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'd like to be the God father of your children."

"You're already Feli's God Father," I sighed. "I don't see why not."

"Thank you, bambina. You make an old man like me very happy."

"Oi! That doesn't mean that I'll be popping out babies anytime soon!"

Romulus switched back to English. "Good. You're too young for that anyways."

"Too young for what?!" Antonio asked.

"Nothing," I sighed, teasingly poking him in the rib cage. "Eat something, bastard. You've been too busy staring at me all day."

Romulus rolled his eyes, picking at his cold spaghetti with a fork. I should probably heat that up for him, but then again, I couldn't be bothered to get up. I never said that I was a good employee, you know.

Antonio smiled, opening the wrapping of the sandwich that I had snagged from the kitchen for him. I felt my face pale when the smell of chicken reached my nostrils. I turned around, biting my lip to prevent myself from gagging.

Antonio placed a hand on my back, his brows furrowing with concern. "Lovina?" he asked. "What's wrong, mi amor?"

"N-Nothing," I stuttered, bringing a napkin to my face. I could already feel the bile rising in my throat.

"I forgot to bring an extra set of cutlery. Excuse me!" I stood up, trying to keep my calm as I sprint-walked across the dining room.

Romulus and Antonio called after me in worry, but I was only focused on reaching a toilet.

I rushed into the nearest bathroom, ignoring the concerned looks of my coworkers. I had a hand cupped over my mouth as I kicked open a stall, kneeling down to puke into the toilet. I retched for what had felt like an hour, shuddering and feeling miserably dizzy.

I'd like to say that this was just an odd incident. That perhaps I had eaten something that was expired. But deep down, I knew that this wasn't true. I had been waking up dizzy almost every morning for the past two weeks. I hadn't thrown up every time, but my appetite wasn't nearly as big as it usually was.

My blood ran cold, while my mind burned with terrifying thoughts. The world spun faster, but this time it wasn't just from dizziness. It was from fear as well. The only thing that would settle this once and for all was a trip to the drug store.

…

"No…" I murmured to myself, shaking my head in disbelief. "This can't be happening."

I slammed the toilet seat shut, discarding the plastic wand into the trashcan. I then let my forehead bang against the toilet seat, my shoulders shaking with uncontrollable fits of sobs.

After the incident at work, I had told Antonio that I wasn't feeling well and that all I wanted was to go home and sleep. That was a blatant lie, obviously, but Antonio was still gullible enough to believe it. He stayed back to pick up Feli from daycare, whereas I had gone straight to the drugstore.

It was only now, in the middle of the night, that I set out to put an end to my suspicions. Antonio wasn't sleeping over tonight because I was 'sick' and needed rest. In other words, he didn't want to be a bother. Normally, I would have protested to this, but today was the one day that I did in fact want to be left alone. Feli was fast asleep, so there was absolutely nothing stopping me from bawling my eyes out.

My sobbing, unfortunately, must have been loud enough to wake up Feli.

Feli softly knocked on the bathroom door.

"Sorella?" Feli yawned.

I rubbed at my eyes, wiping away any remnants of tears on my face.

"F-Feli?" I croaked. "What are you doing up so late, sweetie?"

Feli took one look at me, and it wasn't long before she was hugging my waist. It was unbelievable how intuitive she was. "Don't be sad," she whispered. "You have me and Antonio, right?"

I tucked my chin over her head, hugging her back just as tightly. "I'm not feeling well, silly. I'm fine," I lied.

"Now go back to bed," I chided. "We have to be up early tomorrow morning, remember? We're signing you up for school in the fall."

"That's why I can't sleep! Me and Luddy can't wait to make new friends."

"How sweet," I smiled. My little sister was growing up in the blink of an eye. It was only two weeks now before she would be heading off to her first year of kindergarten.

"Can't I just stay up with you? I'm not tired."

"Feli," I rolled my eyes. "Bed, now."

"Hmmph!" Feli stuck out her tongue at me while I shooed her out of the bathroom.

"Do you need me to tuck you in?" I asked.

Feli crossed her arms, pouting her lips. "I'm a big girl now!" she fumed. "I can do it myself!"

"Okay, missy," I smirked. "Sweet dreams."

The last that I saw of Feli was the flick of her pink nightgown disappearing around the corner.

I waited a minute before I shut the bathroom door again, collapsing onto my knees.

"Oh God," I muttered to myself. "What am I going to do?!"

I didn't know what I supposed to think. I wasn't on birth control when Antonio and I had first gotten together. I had no need to be. The night of our first date was all a blur to me. I had rushed to have sex with him in a spur of the moment decision. It had all happened so fast. But you know what I don't remember? Using protection.

It was such a simple thing to remember, and yet it had slipped both of our minds on that night. And because of such a fuck up…

I was now two months pregnant.

I was in no shape to be having a baby right now. Heck, I was still a kid myself! And with the instability of Antonio's condition, we couldn't possibly raise a kid. We weren't in a good place right now. More than that, I didn't even know if I wanted a kid. I had already given up so much of my life to raise Feli…

Tears streaked down my face. Forget about not being ready to have a kid for a minute. How the hell would Antonio react to me being pregnant? The fact that I needed to throw up again wasn't a very good sign.

When I had finished retching up the contents of my stomach, I looked up at the ceiling, praying to any God that would listen to me.

"Please, God, give me…"

I stopped to correct myself.

"No…Give us the strength to get through this together."