Authors Note: This has to be, to date, my longest 'short'. Thanks to WarlordFil for the initial beta and SilentStrike'Scy and Kalshion for proofing reading.

Disclaimer: Halo and the characters (MC, Johnson, The Arbiter, Etc), creatures (Sangheili, Spartans, etc) with in belong to Bungie Studios. However, Original Characters (Zeno, Sani, Runi, etc) and species/creatures (Lipors), belong to me.

Strip Poker

Sani paced around in the atrium of Cairo Station, his mind tormented by what was coming up tonight. Runi had invited him to join a game of cards with a couple other Sangheili, invited as in told him he was going that is. Problem was, is that Sani wanted nothing more to do with Runi, not after recognizing just how controlling and manipulative the fellow minor domo had become.

Why could we not just stay friends? He thought. Rather than get intimately involved? Sani knew now that he should have told him to cut off his advances from the start, had his foresight been 20/20 as they say. However, both of them had been under stress from the war with Brutes and even the mightiest and bravest warriors need some form of relief: they got their relief from bedding with each other. Truth be told, Sani never really felt anything for Runi beyond friendship. Yes, Runi was fairly attractive as male Sangheili go, but it was Runi's personally that always turned him off from something deeper.

He had always been a bit possessive, clingy even, though in Sani's hearts he could not blame him for being that way. Runi was basically exiled from his own Keep, lost his metal smith apprenticeship just prior to that: both as a result of some accident that happened, of which Runi got blamed for. The specifics Sani didn't know, as he felt it wasn't his business to pry. He did though feel pity for him, initially at least, as Runi had loved being a metal smith and now that dream was forever barred from him.

Whatever pity Sani felt for his former partner was non-existent now, due to his antics and attitude toward him. It was bad enough that Sani didn't actually love him, but considering Runi viewed him as his property to use however he pleased, it was just too much. Sani finally decided, with some urging from his sister Yura, to call it quits and leave him. It was proving to be easier said then done though.

Runi seemed incapable of taking the hint and continued to hound him, tracking him down where ever he was. They got into frequent arguments now, arguments where Runi would play the pity or guilt trip card on him, convincing him to come back or to stay. Then there was Sani's own weakness: over the cycles of having been bedmates, Sani had grown too used to having a warm body next to him at night. On the nights he was alone, he would toss and turn, unable to sleep most of the night, resulting in him being a wreck the next morning. It was a weakness he has yet to conquer, one that needed to be conquered if he was ever to break away from Runi completely.

"Ok…where is your partner in crime?" A familiar voice said behind him, startling him slightly and breaking his line of thought. "So I can get a head start on damage control."

Sani turned to see Ambassador Avery Johnson: the dark skinned human had his arms folded across his chest and was tapping his foot. The 'partner in crime' bit annoyed him, as it was just another reason Sani desperately wanted to be rid of Runi. It was always Runi that thought up and goaded Sani into assisting him with pranks and other things that usually got them both into trouble. "You have apparently not heard that Runi and I are not on good terms as of late." Sani said, a slight growl in his voice.

"I have been hearing conflicting things about you two as of late," Johnson admitted, relaxing his stance a bit. "Runi says you two are still on the hook, while witnesses say you two have been getting into nasty arguments."

"Figures he would say something like that…," Sani said with a snort. "He just does not want to let me go."

"So you two are on the rocks then. Can't say I'm sorry, considering the headaches you two caused."

"Headaches Runi caused you mean. I was an unwilling accomplice…."

"Uh huh…so Runi is off on his own somewhere likely plotting some scheme right now then."

"Most likely seeing how many Sangheili he can convince to join him for the card game tonight."

"Sounds benign enough…"

"It is strip poker Ambassador."

Johnson nearly choked on his cigar. "Ok…My head just filled with imagines I really did not want to see. Still...I don't see what is so bad about that. I used to play that game with a bunch of fellas and ladies when I was younger. Granted…considering how you two are…nevermind…just keep the door to the room closed so you spare the eyes of any humans walking by…."

Sani actually chuckled at that, remembering how Johnson was slightly homophobic. His mood quickly soured again however. "It is bad because Runi no doubt intends to use the game to either embarrass me or to attempt to make me jealous, both with the intentions of ensuring I stay with him."

"Well nothing says you have to go to the game kid."

"Then he will just call me out as a coward and you know how well that flies with our culture."

"Ah yes…the whole honor thing you guys are into," Something seemed to light up in Johnson's eyes just then. "Say…what's the likely hood of him cheating at this game?"

"Runi? Quite high…considering what motives he likely has."

The human ambassador pondered for a moment. "I have an idea," Johnson said. "Go to the game anyway."

"What?"

"Don't worry, the game will be crashed."

"You are going to crash it?"

"Hell no! I have no desire to see any alien ding dongs!"

"Actually our genitalia are completely internal until we need to use them."

Johnson blinked at him. "That's TMI. Anyway, no I am not the one going, but I know one of you guys that I imagine would love to do this. He's good at the game too. Gods know he kicked my ass at poker enough times," Sani heard him add with a mutter. "Besides, he'd probably fit right in with you…people."

"Who is he?" Sani asked, curious, ignoring Johnson's near insult.

"Sorry kid, keeping that to myself. You'll know him when you see him."

The Ambassador turned and walked away then, humming some tune and obviously pleased with himself. Sani pondered at the identity of the one Johnson was going to send in to 'help' him. Obviously it had to be a Sangheili, going by Johnson's own words, but what Sangheili would be knowledgeable enough in human games to counter Runi likely cheating? He was at a loss.

Shaking his head, Sani left the atrium himself, to prepare himself mentally for the game.

Later, in the recreation room.

"I see you opted not to run away," Runi said with a grin as Sani entered the room.

"I am no coward Runi," Sani said with a faint snarl as he took a look to see how many victims Runi managed to round up for the game. To his surprise there were only two other Sangheili in the room sitting at the table Runi had allocated for the game. One was their old friend Major Domo Tegs 'Vatem, whom was likely here on shore leave from the Guided Light, the other Sangheili ship currently in orbit around Earth. The other was a Zealot he didn't recognize, probably from the same ship Tegs was from: he looked like he was starting to have second thoughts about this game. "Tegs, it has been a while. How have you been?"

"I have been well Sani. Though I must admit things have not been as exciting since my transfer," Tegs replied.

"Maybe not as exciting…but certainly more sane I imagine."

The major domo chuckled at that. "That is for certain. How have you been holding up?"

"He has been just fine, thank you," Runi interrupted before Sani could reply.

"I am capable of answering questions on my own Runi," Sani growled at him.

"Of course, but I just wanted to be sure Tegs got an accurate response."

"And you are being the truthful one?" Sani growled. "Please!"

"Now now, this is not the time or place for petty arguments dear." Runi chided him as he started shuffling the deck.

Sani fumed but did not retort. The last thing he wanted to do was get into a heated argument, and likely a minor brawl, in front of a superior officer. Gods knew Shipmaster Rtas was getting quite fed up with their little quarrels as of late. It wasn't for Runi's sake he dropped the issue anyway, but rather the shipmaster's reputation: it had been tarnished enough by Runi as is.

Where is the guy Johnson said would come? Sani thought, turning this thoughts to other things. It was doubtful that it was the Zealot: he didn't seem too uncomfortable with the idea of playing a card game with lesser Sangheili. And he knew it couldn't be Tegs, since Johnson seemed to imply that it was someone he didn't know. Did he fail to convince him to come?

"Sorry I am late," A cheerful voice suddenly announced just as Runi started to deal the cards.

Everyone at the table looked toward the newcomer. Approaching the table was a Sangheili in causal clothing. Sani felt his breath catch in his throat: this man was handsome. He was very tall, taller then even Runi, with dark chocolate skin. On his throat he could see a hint of a dark orange and he guessed this color continued down his front. His eyes were also this dark orange color, though his whites were an even darker hue, making his irises stand out like a pair of flames. The Sangheili's attire of choice was a simple pair of denim pantaloons, a long sleeved grey shirt and an open brown vest.

Sani wondered why he wore so little to a game like this, but then again, if he was as good as Johnson said he was, he'd probably have no problem keeping his clothes on. A part of him felt saddened at that thought however. Unbidden, Sani started wondering what he looked like without clothing. This man was clearly well built and from what he could see of him already, had an easygoing attitude. "Who the fuck are you?" Runi growled, snapping Sani out of his thoughts. His sudden outburst making it evident that Runi was not expecting someone to butt in on his game and was clearly irritated by it.

"A party crasher, obviously," The man said with a smile as he plopped down in the first available seat: right next to Sani. Sani felt his hearts start hammering excitedly and he had to resist the temptation to reach over and touch him. "So start dealing."

"You are not adequately dressed for this game."

"What do you mean 'not adequately dressed'?" The zealot asked, looking a bit alarmed.

"Oh dear oh dear…you mean you did not tell everyone the object of the game?" The newcomer chided. Before Runi could say anything he continued. "This is strip poker folks, where the object of the game is to be the last one with any articles of clothing on. Or as in your case…armor."

The zealot blinked in shock, then snarled at Runi, whom cowered slightly. "I will not be a part of such a degrading game." He hissed as he rose from his chair.

"Please stay sir!" Runi pleaded, his tone changing completely. "It is not that bad…honest! Besides…is it not rather odd that you take this…rankless…Sangheili at his word?"

"Rankless, he is far from being rankless!" The zealot retorted. "And I trust his word far more then a minor domos!" Without further word, the zealot left.

Ouch. Sani thought, wincing slightly. This guy had to be someone of importance for a zealot to commend so highly like that. Yet, looking at his face, no bells were ringing as to his identity.

"Damn…he had a nice ass too…," Runi pouted, to which Sani just rolled his eyes.

"Looks like you are short a player now," The newcomer said, then arched his neck in Tegs' direction. "Or will it be by two players?"

"I knew he was up to something," Tegs said with a heavy sigh. "I am going to stick this out…for a while anyway.

"Brave man…."

"No…just used to his antics."

"Fair enough."

"Just who are you…if you can convince a Zealot to leave so easily?" Runi asked as he reshuffled the deck. Sani noticed he was looking the guy over.

"Who I am is not important right now," The man replied with a smile.

"A tall dark mysterious type then. Very well, you seem hot enough to join in," Runi said quietly, if not slightly seductively.

"I am flattered," Sani thought he detected a hint of sarcasm in the man's voice. "Are you going to deal or not?"

"Keep your pants on, I am making sure the deck is well shuffled."

I would rather see him without pants actually… Sani thought as Runi finally dealt the first hand. Dear gods! What am I thinking!? It took all his effort not to blush in embarrassment at his own thoughts. In an effort to get his mind out of the gutter, he forced himself to look at his own cards.

"You know…," Sani heard Runi say. "We really need something to call you by during the game. It would be impolite to just say 'hey you' after all. So…how about 'Hoty'?" The man simply shrugged in indifference. "Alright, Hoty it is then."

It didn't take long for Sani to realize that he really should have studied the rules of poker before coming. While he knew a little bit about the game, it wasn't enough to ensure he didn't fail miserably at it. That and he was having a lot of trouble getting his mind into the game, said mind kept wanting to go on fantasy trips with 'Hoty'. Never before has another Sangheili, male or female, made him feel this way and it was quite the experience.

"You have nothing good in that hand," A voice suddenly broke into his thoughts. Glancing to the side he saw 'Hoty' looking at him, with a kind smile on his face. "Best you fold."

He does not even know me…and he is…giving me advice… Sani thought, his hearts pounding even harder in his chest now. It didn't even bother him that this man had peeked at his cards and the thought that he could be trying to screw him over didn't even cross his mind. In thanks, he simply nodded.

Runi won the first hand and he selected Tegs to remove a piece of armor. Tegs won the next hand and he retaliated by targeting Runi. "Tegs! I did not know you thought of me that way!" Runi said with a sly grin, to which Tegs just growled. When Tegs won the next hand and again targeted Runi, Runi's comment was: "Are you sure you are straight?"

'Hoty' won the next hand and he selected Sani. Sani could not keep the blush off his face as he removed his helmet. A blush Runi did notice and from the glare he was giving him, he did not approve of it. Sani chose to ignore it.

The next few hands were won by Runi, whom again targeted Tegs. Tegs now only had his leg armor and his bodysuit left. "Tegs! You did not tell me you had such a hot body underneath all that armor!" Runi said with a big grin. "You have been holding out on me you sexy hunk you."

His face quite purple, Tegs tried his best to hide behind his cards. Tegs won the next hand, but instead of retaliating against Runi again he chose 'Hoty', whom calmly removed his vest and made a show of folding it neatly before setting it on the floor beside him. 'Hoty' won the next couple of hands, and he selected Runi for one and Sani another as his victims.

Then finally, Sani managed to get a good hand, a straight flush, and won that round. Now he was torn. Whom to pick? Runi was right out as he knew that's what Runi wanted. That left Tegs and 'Hoty'. Tegs seemed to be suffering enough from Runi's attention, so he decided to chose 'Hoty'. Besides, he really wanted to see what 'Hoty' looked like without a shirt on. "Um…your shirt…," he said timidly.

'Hoty' simply smiled and complied, revealing not only a well toned chest but something else as well. This man had a tattoo! It resembled a flame, starting from his left breast, up his shoulder and down his left arm, stopping at his wrist. "Shit…I know who you are now…," Tegs breathed.

"I am just a normal Sangheili playing a friendly game of strip poker," 'Hoty' said calmly, though Sani caught what he believed to be a wink in Tegs' direction. "Shall we continue?"

And they did, though Sani was having a really hard time concentrating on the game now. Who was this guy? How come everyone seemed to know who he was except himself and Runi? On top of that, his scent was tantalizing, making him think naughty things. His distracted thoughts caused him to lose the next few hands miserably and a few armor pieces along with it thanks to 'Hoty'.

"You alright?" 'Hoty' asked him at one point. By now, Tegs was down to almost just his bodysuit thanks to Runi, while Runi was down to his leg armor thanks to 'Hoty': no one had touched 'Hoty' since Sani had.

"I…I am fine…," Sani replied, unable to keep himself from blushing. "I…I am just a little…distracted…"

"For your sake it better be because of my body and not someone else's," Runi growled.

"I do not see any bonding jewelry on either of you, so I'd say he can look if he wants," 'Hoty' spoke up suddenly. "Besides…looking cannot exactly be helped during strip poker."

"Shut up you flame bellied, tattooed freak!"

"Is that the best you can do? How pathetic. And you cannot even play an honest game either."

"What?"

'Hoty' took one of his own cards and held it up. "I can tell you have been cheating, using sticky putty to hide your illicit cards on the underside of the table. The problem with sticky putty is that it leaves residue on the cards and this one is even starting to get a stain…when it did not have one at the start of the game."

"You are lying…"

"Oh?" There was a couple of sharp thuds as he kicked the table. Sani felt something hit his foot and when he looked under the table he saw a couple of cards on the floor. Looking up, he saw two more cards still stuck to the underside of the table.

"You have been cheating…," Sani said as he sat back up.

"I knew it!" Tegs hissed, throwing down his cards.

Runi opened his mandibles, then shut them again, unable to say anything to defend himself. "So…," 'Hoty' said as he gathered up the cards. "I think it is best for the game if I am the dealer from this point on," he looked at Sani. "Can you get the cards he has under the table for me please?"

Sani flushed, but nodded. He got up and knelt down on his knees to pick up the cards, his mind wondering if 'Hoty' liked how his ass looked. When getting back up, he wasn't sure if his hoof slipped, got caught on a chair leg or what, just that the next thing he knew was that he was in 'Hoty's' lap. "I…I am so sorry…," he said as he struggled to right himself, knowing his face had to be completely purple.

"It is quite alright. It happens," 'Hoty' said, Sani feeling his hands gently assist him in righting himself. Dear gods, his touch was so soft and warm. Partly way up he looked at his face and made eye contact with him. A strange, wonderful feeling hit him: going by the faint widening of the man's eyes, Sani could tell he felt it too.

"SANI!" Suddenly the connection was broken as a rough pair of hands suddenly grabbed him and threw him off. Sani stumbled, then fell over backwards. The wind knocked out of him from the impact, he could only stare up at Runi, whom was loaming over him with an expression of simple rage. "How dare you pull such a stunt like that!"

"I…," Sani tried to explain, but the words just wouldn't come out. He had never seen Runi so angry at him before and what ever fight he had in him was replaced by simple fear.

"Runi!" He heard Tegs say. "Back off! It was an accident!"

"Accident my ass!" Runi snapped back. "I saw the way he looked at him!" Something seemed to dawn on him then. "Unless…yes…you…," he pointed at 'Hoty'. "Now I know why you crashed this game…you are after my mate!"

"I am not your mate!" Sani snapped, getting up to his feet. "I told you it was over!"

"No…it is not over! Not unless I say so!" Runi growled, turning back toward him.

A strong hand suddenly grabbed Runi by the back of the neck, right at a pressure point. Runi's eyes went wide and he froze in place, unable to move. Whether that was due to pain or something else, Sani couldn't tell: he didn't exactly pay much attention during pressure point lessons. What he could tell though was that it was 'Hoty' that had grabbed him and the look in his eyes had a fire in them that wasn't there before.

"He is not someone's pet whom's ownership can be just traded off or sold at the owners whim." He said softly, though his tone was dripping with venom. "He is a Sangheili, like you and me. If he says it is over, it is over: you can have no say in that."

"You do not know anything about us," Runi managed, his voice strained.

"I know enough to see that you need a lesson in humility," 'Hoty' adjusted his grip and applied more pressure. The result was Runi immediately going limp and 'Hoty' draped him over the table. "Tegs, help me with his bodysuit please."

"Sir…," Tegs said hesitantly. "I…I…"

"I will do it," Sani said, feeling the urge to get Runi back for so many things. In short order he had Runi's bodysuit loosened and started to pull it down.

"That is far enough," 'Hoty' said when Sani had gotten it down to past his buttocks.

"Sir…you do not intend to…rape him…do you?" Tegs asked, concern in his tone.

"Rape? Oh no…I am not like that. Besides he is not my type at all." 'Hoty' reached into one of his pockets and pulled out an object. It only took a second for both Sani and Tegs to recognize it: a decommissioned WWII hand grenade. Before either of them could say anything he put a finger to his mandibles for silence and gave them a wink. He then pulled the pin and shoved it up Runi's anal cavity. Runi whom had just started to get control over his body again, yelped in shock and a bit of pain. 'Hoty' then leaned in close to him and said. "You have a live grenade up your ass…and the only thing keeping you from having your ass blown off is how well you can keep your butt cheeks tense."

"You are bluffing…," Runi said, his eyes wide.

"Oh?" 'Hoty' daggled the pin in front of his face. When he saw it, Runi went quite pale. "If I were you…I'd hoof it to the nearest ER or EOD office to have it taken care of."

Runi needed no further prompting. The moment he had full control of his limbs he flew off the table and sprinted out of the recreation room, screaming. Sani and Tegs just watched him go with their jaws slack in surprise, while 'Hoty' just looked smug. "He is going to have a hard time finding help," he said finally.

"Why?" Tegs asked.

"Cause I warned both places ahead of time about this little 'joke'," His grin was wide.

"A rather cruel joke I might add…."

"He deserved it," Sani said confidently. "Though…Lord Hood is going to be pissed when he finds out where his 'Complaint Department' grenade went…."

Later…

Lord Hood was not having a good day. First he had to deal with some rather pushy politicians making unreasonable demands. Then there was the case of fraternization he had to deal with, not to mention having to clean up his office after some kids somehow got in and toilet papered the place. On top of that, someone took the grenade part of his 'Compliant Department' paperweight. He suspected Ambassador Zeno's hand in the last one, seeing he was the last one in his office before it disappeared. Why the Elite Ambassador took it he had no clue, but right now, he had another problem to deal with.

At this very moment he had a very irate and slightly panicked Elite in his office. The Elite was missing most of his armor with his bodysuit pulled down, revealing a lot more then Lord Hood really wanted to see. By his skin coloration and armor color he believed this was Runi 'Gotern, a known trouble maker, but he wasn't certain: most of these damn Elites looked alike to him.

"So…why are you in here blinding me with your half undressed appearance?" Lord Hood said with a heavy sigh.

"Lord Hood, sir…," The Elite said, his voice shaking slightly. "I need to put in a compliant about your ER and EOD teams."

Lord Hood raised a brow at that. "You seem physically fine, so I don't understand the need to use the ER. I am also at a loss as to why you would go to the EOD office…"

"Because I have a freaking grenade up my ass!" Runi hissed. "Neither place would help me! In fact they just started laughing! My ass is getting sore from trying to keep it from going off and they are laughing about it!"

He blinked slowly, the pieces starting to come together. A part of him wanted to send this Elite to the nearest safe area so the damage would be minimal when it went off. Yet at the same time he got this nagging feeling it wasn't nearly as serious as Runi is claiming it to be. "Just…out of curiosity…how did you get a grenade up your ass?"

"I was playing strip poker…," Runi started, fidgeting a bit: that explained the lack of dress at least. "With a few others. This…this Sangheili came in and crashed the game. Chased off one of my players, accused me of cheating, then shoved this thing up my ass for no reason! If I live through this, I totally intend to press charges!"

Hood could tell the young Sangheili wasn't telling the whole truth, but let that slide for the moment. "Describe this Elite…," After Runi gave him a description he groaned and rubbed his face. Yep, that was Zeno all right.

"Good evening Lord Hood," A familiar voice suddenly announced, right on cue. Zeno, it seemed, had impeccable timing. "I am here to return your grenade…or rather…what is left of it." The Sangheili Ambassador held up his hand, revealing the pin of the grenade, the yellow '#1' tag still on the ring.

"I'd ask what you did with it, but I think I have a good idea thanks to Runi here…," Lord Hood groaned.

"Oh how nice of you to return the rest of it Runi!" Zeno said with a grin. "At least in spirit anyway…seeing it seems you have yet to remove it from your posterior…"

Runi looked flabbergasted and uncertain on how to respond at first. "Y…you mean this thing is not…"

"Real? Oh it was real at one time," Zeno explained. "But it no longer has any explosives in it. So it is perfectly safe."

Runi blinked at him, mouth agape. Then there was a loud clunk. All parties looked down at Runi's feet to see the grenade on the floor: Runi immediately jumped back away from it. "Well, there is the grenade sir," Zeno said with a smile.

"I am not touching that until it is sterilized," Lord Hood said stiffly. "And since you are the one responsible for it's…state…you are going to take care of that."

"Oh very well…I suppose it is only fair," Zeno said with a mock sigh, taking a tissue from his desk to put the now slightly smelly grenade in.

"Fair!?" Runi snapped. "I am still going to press charges against you pal for what you did to me!"

"Son, you don't have a prayer against this guy," Lord Hood said. "Do you not even recognize your own Ambassador?"

"Zeno 'Ribal at your service!" Zeno said, bowing slightly.

Runi looked at him dumbstruck for a moment. "Amba…Wait…are you not also…one of the Shipmaster's…."

"Recon troops? That is correct," Zeno replied with a smile. "Do you really think you can win a court case against me?"

Runi didn't respond to that. Instead he fainted dead away.

What he thought was going to be a stressful evening with having to deal with Runi and his antics, ended up rather fulfilling. Not only did Runi get his due for both cheating and being a jackass toward him, Sani met someone new. Someone that made his hearts do flips in his chest and made his head spin.

After Runi had ran out of the room screaming, everyone decided the game was over for the night. Before 'Hoty' had run off, Sani had inquired about his name. The man had smiled at him and replied 'Zeno'. Zeno. Zeno. Where had he heard that name before? Sani was sure he would figure out in time.

For now though, it was time to tuck in for the night. With Runi busy trying to get a fake grenade out of his ass, he was not likely going to be disturbed tonight. So Sani retired to his own quarters, a separate room from Runi the Shipmaster was able to arrange for him. After a quick wash up, Sani curled up in bed, with a smile on his face and thoughts of Zeno in his head, and went to sleep. That night he had very pleasant dreams indeed….