Disclaimer: We are not Stephenie Meyer and therefore are not the rightful owners of the Twilight series or anything within it. Silly. :)

A/N: Hey guys. Sorry I didn't get a chance to reply to reviews until yesterday. It's been a crazy week, and we've been seriously working hard at trying to get our other story, Turning Eighteen, finished up. But the last few chapters have proven to be pretty damn difficult. But, alas, here's Cursed. The double feature you were promised.

Remember beforehand, we told you we wouldn't let Tanya and Edward sleep together, and we're keeping to our word. The half-chapter after this explains it all. So hold your horses, missy.

IMPORTANT: If you'd like, after the first line break, you can skip to the next chapter to read what actually was going on over in Edward's apartment. If not, you can just read it after you finish this chapter. Either way you'll be fine.

Cursed
By cALLIEfornia BENches

Chapter 9: Skanky Ho

Tanya had left about an hour ago, and for the first time since she arrived, I could breathe.

I had been so suffocated when she was here. But whatever, I'd do what I needed to in order to win. And it looked as though I had, I thought with a triumphant smile. I couldn't even begin to explain how happy that made me.

Not to mention the fact that I finally got to write for the first time since she arrived, too. She had always come over just as I was finishing my yoga, and writing had been put on hold. Jacob wouldn't be happy, but at least I had a publisher that understood my feuding with Edward. Jacob, although he'd be unhappy with me, would let it pass when I told him that it had been about Edward.

I opened my laptop and clicked around for my newest story.

The file popped up and my smile, if possible, broadened. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, I was writing, and Edward had lost. I sighed. It didn't get much better than this.

I placed my hands over my keyboard, reading over what I had last written so I could recall what was supposed to happen next.

And that's when I heard it.

A moan.

A feminine moan.

I stilled my hands and looked over to the wall I shared with Edward. But with the exception of my classical music, there was no noise. Did I imagine that?

A glance down at my story told me my main characters were in the middle of a pretty passionate love scene. Could it really be possible that I had just gotten so into my writing that I had imagined it?

Probably.

I shook my head, ridding myself of the thoughts, and resumed my typing. But then I heard it again. That same damn moan. I turned down my classical to see if it would happen again. And sure enough, not a minute later there was a different one. A man's moan. Edward's moan.

What the fuck was going on next door?

Before I had chance to answer myself, something knocked against the wall separating my kitchen from the bedroom in the other apartment. And then it knocked again. And again. Repeatedly in a steady rhythm. Oh, god, I thought to myself. Is he serious? Just because I won doesn't mean he had to go off and annoy me by fucking some chick. That was just stupid. I rolled my eyes and made my way back to my computer. That was just stupid. I rolled my eyes and made my way back to my computer.

"Oh, Edward!" the girl yelled.

Wait… I recognized that voice.

"Oh, god. Don't stop, Tanya," Edward moaned.

What?! I felt like a complete creeper as I moved toward the wall and pressed my ear against it. He couldn't possibly be doing what I think he's doing… could he? He wouldn't.

But as I pressed my ear to the wall, I heard Tanya giggle. "Yeah? You like that, baby?" she asked.

I wanted to gag. Instead, like the Peeping Tom I was, I pressed my ear even closer to the door. This time, it was Edward I heard laughing quietly. What kind of sick, perverted foreplay were they up to?

"Mmm," Edward groaned.

What. The. Fuck.

"Oh, yes, right there, Edward."

At this point, I was completely pressed against the wall. I didn't even care how stupid and weird I looked right now, my entire body flush with the wall. I couldn't even hear my classical music anymore, and my story was forgotten. This was much more important.

"Edward!"

Was such a cheater.

"Oh, Tanya!"

Was such a ho.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Tanya chanted.

No, no, no. This meant he won. And that I lost. My face turned red with anger. That was no fair. I didn't have a penis. And just because he had one didn't mean he had to wave it around in every girl's face just to win a stupid competition. It wasn't even like it was that important. For all he knew, Tanya was infested with herpes and crabs.

Whatever. He deserved it, if that was the case.

I banged on the wall three times, trying to get their attention. "Cheater!" I called, loud enough so he would hear it. Immediately, the banging of the bed on my wall ceased and the two burst into a fit of giggles.

"Thanks for helping me out, Tanya," Edward said. I could hear the smile in his voice. Damn it, the bastard knew he won.

"Anytime, babe." I heard a smacking noise that sounded like her kissing him.

My eyes glared at the wall for a moment before I decided to meet them out in the hall. If anything, Tanya needed to be told off for cheating on her goddamned husband. I felt bad for him, having to deal with a skank like Tanya for a wife. I can't believe she would do that. I can't believe Edward would do that, especially with a married woman. I may not have liked him, but I always thought he'd have more class than that. Imagine what his family would think.

I tore open my door just as the two were embracing goodbye. Edward's hair was a mess, as was Tanya's, and they both looked a little flushed. Not to mention, Tanya was clad in Edward's sweatshirt.

"You," I said, pointing my finger at Edward, "Cheated. There's absolutely no way that counts. Not on my watch." I turned to Tanya. "And you. Don't you have a husband?"

"Don't you have a book to write?" she shot back.

Oh, she was so not a character in my book anymore.

I let out a noise that ended up sounding like a frustrated teenager and stormed back into my apartment and threw myself into my writing. And that's where I stayed for the next four hours, not even caring when the neighbors started making noise after like one or so. I just kept on writing, right through the ruckus.

Jacob would be so proud of me.

When my phone rang at about two, I glanced nervously at where it sat on the table next to me. I didn't want to stop writing. Hell, my fingers hadn't even stopped moving over the keys since the phone had rang. But when I saw the caller ID said Alice, I figured it would be best to answer.

I sighed and picked up the phone, shooting a sad look toward my story.

"Hello?"

"Bella!" she sang.

I couldn't help but smile. "Hi, Alice."

"So I was talking to Rosalie today," she said, not even bothering with much introduction. "And we decided it was time for a girls' night. What do you say? Some chick flicks, Ben & Jerry's, and martinis?"

"Sounds good. We can do my place if you guys want. You guys bring the Grey Goose and flicks—you know my collection is too scary for either of you—and I'll provide the ice cream. You guys want your usual? I think there's still some in there from last week that you guys didn't get around to opening," I said as I walked over to my fridge and opened it, looking for said ice cream. Sure enough, there were three unopened pints of ice cream.

"When do you want us to come over?" she asked.

"Whenever is fine," I said. "It's not like I've got much going on over here. Just listening to your brother's conquests through the wall. You know, the usual."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I'll tell you guys tonight. You won't believe me when I tell you." I shut the door to the freezer and leaned back against it.

Alice clicked her tongue and I could practically see her shaking her head in shame. "Whatever. I'll call Rosalie and we'll be over probably within an hour or two. Don't forget to ear your comfy sweats!"

"How could I, with you around, Alice." I chuckled. "I'll see you later."

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

I snapped my phone shut and headed back towards my laptop to save the work I had gotten done and clean my room.

When my doorbell rang an hour later, I pretty much sprinted to the door. When I threw it open, my two best friends were standing there with their arms outstretched. Even though I had seen them just a few days ago for coffee, I still couldn't help myself by running into the two of them and wrapping my arms around them.

"Come in, come in. We've got so much to talk about."

They followed me back inside the house where I had set up our makeshift bed of blankets. Alice set her stuff down and went straight to the kitchen to fix us out martinis, Rosalie started setting up for the first movie, and I pulled out our Ben & Jerry's. After so many of these girls' nights, we had kind of made a system.

I gathered a few spoons and took out all three pints, stacking them the way I always do. Then, carefully, I made my way back to the living room and dropped each carton by our respective beds. Rosalie was just finishing up preparing the movie—she was just getting through the beginning previews—and Alice was bringing our drinks out and setting them on the table.

We smiled at each other as we sat down and Rosalie hit play, but we hadn't even finished the opening credits when we started talking over it. I didn't even know what movie they had put in.

"So tell me about what happened," Alice said as she took a sip of her martini.

"About Edward?" She nodded. "So I told you both about the bet, yeah?"

Rosalie cocked an eyebrow. "Yes," she said flatly. "We told you how stupid we thought it was, yeah?"

I glared at her. Rosalie had never approved of the childish ways Edward and I had competed. Ever since we met her back when we were in middle school, she always thought it was dumb. Some things never changed.

"Yes," I said. "You did, thank you very much. Anyway. So Tanya left my house earlier this morning, and said she had a plane in the afternoon. I figured she was just going to go back to her hotel, pack, and go home. What I didn't expect is for her to come back and start banging your brother."

"What?" Alice said. "Didn't you say that Tanya was married?"

"Yep," I said.

"And he slept with her? Are you sure?"

"Uhm, Rosalie, I think I know what I heard. There was a lot of moaning, groaning, and screaming in ecstasy. It made me nauseous."

Alice grimaced. "Thanks for the visual, Miss Best-Selling-Smut-Author. Really, you could have gone without some of those description words. This is my brother we're talking about here. I don't need to know about his…," she waved her hands around animatedly, "…scandalous adventures with a skanky ho."

"You asked," I mumbled. "And it's like he was trying to rub it in my face. He knows that we share that wall. And he insisted on having his way with her in that specific room. I'm so irritated at him I can't even begin to explain it. She was married, Alice. Married. Her relationship with her husband is most likely ruined because of him. How could he do something like that?" I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated.

Alice and Rosalie exchanged a glance.

"What?" I asked, "What's that look supposed to mean?"

They looked at each other again before Rosalie spoke up. "Why do you care so much who he fucks?" she asked quietly. "You never really cared before."

I rolled my eyes. "Please. You can't tell me you think I'm having romantic feelings for him." Their silence told me they did. "Alice. Rosalie. I just spent three days with this woman. Whether I wanted to or not, I learned to become friends with her, even if she's a skanky bitch that'll fuck anything with two legs and a penis. What I care about is that she's married, and I don't think her marriage should suffer because Edward's a bonehead."

Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever, Bella."

I didn't even feel like arguing with them. They were almost as bad as Renee and Elizabeth had been back in the day, before everything happened with Elizabeth. My lip twitched. I caught myself before I said anything, not wanting to bring up any sad feelings about Alice's parents.

"I don't want to talk about me," I said. "Or Edward, for that matter. What's new with you guys?"

Rosalie got a dreamy smile on her face. "You know Emmett's not the most romantic guy, right?" she asked. We both nodded. As long as I could remember, Emmett was definitely more fueled by lust than love. Even still, his marriage with Rosalie was never weak. They were a cute couple despite the massive amounts of public displays of affections. They had been together since high school. No one would have thought that they'd actually get and stay together for as long as they had.

"Well," she continued, situating herself so her legs were crossed underneath her. "Last night he actually took me out to a romantic dinner." I gasped, jokingly. She chuckled and continued. "He was cute. He made sure I got all dressed up and then held all these doors for me—including opening the car door—and then, at dinner, gave me this whole speech about how he was finally ready to start a family."

Alice chuckled. "Did Edward write his speech for him?"

"Yes, but he made a pretty big show of pulling out a couple note cards and tearing them up at the dinner table before scooting around the table and holding my hand as he said, and I quote 'Screw Edward's notes, this is all me, baby.' And proceeded by saying that he finally wanted a huge family and couldn't wait until I was huge with his babies."

"…And?"

She smirked. "We started trying for real last night."

Alice furrowed her eyebrows. "I thought you said you guys had been trying for a while now?"

"Yeah, but his heart wasn't really in it. He was starting to hate sex and—"

I gasped. "What? Emmett? Hating sex? I didn't even think it was legal to use those words in the same sentence."

Rosalie nodded. "I know, right? Crazy. But his heart wasn't in it, and I was starting to feel bad. I really want a baby," she said. "You know I do. But it just kind of sucks to see your husband be so… not into it. I don't know what changed his mind, but whatever it was, I'm thankful for it." She smiled greatly and put a hand on her perfectly flat stomach. "It's just so exciting, thinking that there'll be something growing inside me sometime soon."

"We're so happy for you—"

A knock sounded at the door and I looked at the girls.

"Expecting someone?" Alice asked.

"No. I'll go see who it is," I said, standing up and heading toward the door. The girls were close behind me. When I looked through the peephole, I couldn't hold in my laughter. I opened up the door so Rosalie and Alice could see.

And there was Craig, dripping in sweat, with no shirt on. Craig was by no means fat, but he definitely had his fair share of blubber. Even I could admit that Edward could pull off the dripping wet, topless look. But these were two completely different situations. Edward was fit, trim, and attractive. Craig was… well, Craig. He had a fair amount of hair on his flabby little tummy, and instead of a clean, freshly showered look, he looked disgustingly sweaty and gross.

And in his hand was nothing other than a measuring cup.

"Hey, ladies. Do you have some flour and eggs that I could borrow?"

I bit my lip, trying extremely hard not to laugh. A few days ago, this had been a ridiculous stunt by Edward. Now it was just a really ridiculous stunt by my crazy neighbor.

"Craig," I said. "Why are you here?"

"Easy," he said, shifting his weight from his left to his right foot. "I need flour and eggs. I'm baking a cake."

I shook my head as I heard Alice and Rosalie trying not to laugh behind me. "Sorry. I gave the last of it to Edward. You might want to check over there if you really need some."

I didn't care if it was rude, but I had to close the door before I even more rudely laughed in his face. The second the door was closed I nearly doubled over in laughter. Rosalie and Alice, of course, didn't get at all what was so funny about a weird, crazy, sweaty guy coming up to my door and asking for flour and eggs, but that didn't matter to me right now. I just needed to let it all out before they sent me to a mental institution.

Craig had probably seen Edward as he was outside my apartment, and then heard Edward getting laid earlier today. He probably assumed they were related. Poor Craig was a desperate man.

After the girls had gone home the next morning and I had picked up, my phone rang. Only one person would call me this early in the morning, and it rarely ever meant good news: Jacob.

"Hey, Jake."

"Hiya, Hellz Bellz. Qué pasa, calabaza?"

"Nothing that great. Alice and Rosalie just left. We had a girls' night last night. It was pretty nice," I said as I stuffed the last blanket into my too-small hall closet. I shoved the door closed, not caring that there was a good chance that the door would break after this.

"What, you had a girls' night and didn't invite me?" he asked.

My lips twitched, fighting to form a smile. If he was calling me this early, there was definitely not a good reason. I didn't want to let him butter me up before just shooting me down. "You know we have a strict no-penis policy, not just a must-like-guys policy."

"Speaking of guys," he practically sang into the phone, "Guess who had their date with Ringo earlier this weekend?"

I smiled even though I didn't want to. "How was that?"

"Oh, Baby Bella, he's amazing. He's super sweet and such a gentleman. He told me he didn't even want a kiss yet because he wanted it to be the perfect moment, not some pressured moment at the front porch. I really like this one, Bells. I think he's a real keeper."

"Yeah, well you said that about that Newton kid, too. And he ended up spreading his seed all over the place when your back was turned for just the slightest second. Just be careful, Jake. I hate seeing you get hurt, even though I know you reap the benefits of us allowing you into our chick night for a few weeks until you get over it all." I pressed the phone between my ear and shoulder as I started on last night's dishes.

Jake sighed. "I know, but I really think this one's different. I've never felt this way about anyone I've dated before. I think there's a good chance he'll end up being the one. I can't wait until you meet him," he said. "What're you doing next week?"

"I don't know yet, probably just working on my book. Why?"

"I'm going to set up a coffee date," he said, determinedly, "And you're going to meet this man. I can guarantee you that you'll just adore him."

"Sure, sure," I said as I tossed a spoon into the silverware basket in my dishwasher.

Jacob took a deep breath and I knew he was about to break the bad news. "Listen," he said. "I've got some good news and some bad news." No shit, Sherlock. "Which do you want first?"

"Good," I said, halting from my dishes duty to lean against the counter and listen to him. "Definitely good."

"Alright. So I told you already that Edward's publishing company went under, yeah?"

"Yes…," I said slowly. "Though I'm not sure what that has to do with good news. Usually good news doesn't involve a certain Edward Masen." Surely Jake wouldn't consider that good information in my eyes. Even though I hadn't had a moment to tell him what happened earlier, he still knew that I couldn't stand him.

"I know, I know, your stupid little fights. Whatever. Anyway, due to the recession, the publishing company decided that we're going to have to cut a few of the books we were planning on publishing this year."

I paused. "Still waiting on that good news, there, Jake."

"They've already made the decisions on almost every single one they're going to publish. Good news is, there's one spot left, and you're one of the final contenders for that final position."

"Wait, I wasn't one of the first picked?" I asked, confused. I was one of their bestsellers.

Jacob let out another sigh. "I know, that's what I said. It was a fluke. They kind of set you aside assuming you'd get a spot and spent more time looking at the smaller authors, but then they realized there was only one spot left and they couldn't make a decision between two authors."

I totally knew what was coming. I could see it a mile away.

So I shouldn't have been surprised when the words left his lips. "Bad news is Edward's the other contender."

There it is.

A/N: Oooh, bit of a cliffie. Sorry about that. :) If you haven't read the next half-chapter, we won't make you wait—just go read the next chapter. :)