Chapter 9: The Liar's Guide to Misdirection

Name: Karin

Statistics:

Ninjutsu: 3.5, Taijutsu: 3, Genjutsu: 4, Intelligence: 5, Strength: 2, Speed: 2, Stamina: 4, Handseals: 2

Total: 25.5

Skills:

Chakra sensor

Medical-nin

Support-type.

Threat Rating: C - Engage directly without attempting an ambush. Do not allow her a chance to hide.

XXX

Name: Juugo

Statistics:

Ninjutsu: 1, Taijutsu: 4.5, Genjutsu: 1, Intelligence: 2, Strength: 5, Speed: 5, Stamina: 5, Handseals: 1

Total: 24.5

Skills:

Transformation - Randomly transforms into a monstrous form with incredible strength, speed and stamina, though user loses much of their reasoning and intelligence. Causes user to grow stronger as the battle continues.

Threat Rating: B - Ambush and strike before he can transform.

XXX

Name: Hozuki Suigetsu

Statistics:

Ninjutsu: 4, Taijutsu: 3.5, Genjutsu: 3.5, Intelligence: 3, Strength: 3.5, Speed: 3, Stamina: 3, Handseals: 4

Total: 27.5

Skills:

-Hozuki Water Transformation

-Suiton ninjutsu

Threat Rating: A - Preferably ambush. Failing that, employ lightning and powerful fire jutsu to overcome his defenses.

XXX

Name: Uchiha Sasuke.

Statistics:

Ninjutsu: 5, Taijutsu: 3.5, Genjutsu: 4.5, Intelligence: 4.5, Strength: 3.5, Speed: 5, Stamina: 3.5, Handseals: 4.5

Total: 34

Skills:

-Sharingan

-Raiton ninjutsu

-Katon ninjutsu

Threat Rating: S - Engage with superior numbers only, preferably a squadron of jounin. Expect casualties. Capture alive.

-Konoha Bingo Book Entries on Team Taka

XXX

As usual, when I awakened, it was almost immediate.

My eyes shot open, and I sat up in my chair, blinking once to clear my eyes at the ray of light streaming in from the large, open verandah to my right.

Taking in my surroundings, I noticed that I had been sitting next to Juugo's bed. The big man was looking much better than he had been two days ago, right after our fight against Deidara, but even then, he was haggard-looking and still obviously injured. His torso was wrapped in bandages, and he was breathing slow and deep.

"Yo, Sasuke," Suigetsu called out from behind me. I turned around to face him. "You just get up?" he asked.

I gave him a nod, and slowly rose to my feet, massaging my forehead as I did. "Anything come up?" I glanced around the room. "And where's Karin?"

Suigetsu shrugged, and walked to the door, reaching to move it aside. "Karin's out in town, gathering intelligence and purchasing supplies. Now that you're awake, I suppose I'll go get-"

And that was when the sliding door was kicked off of its tracks, straight onto Suigetsu's unsuspecting form. Behind it, Karin emerged, glasses gleaming, a sense of urgency marked on her face. I noticed Juugo stir and start to rise behind me, shocked by the sudden sound.

"Sasuke!" she called, ignoring Suigetsu, who, unable to turn into water fast enough to avoid the unexpected blow, was still making burbling noises from underneath the door and Karin's foot. "We're being followed! We have to leave!"

I blinked, and quickly rose to my feet.

"Konoha," I muttered, my eyes flicking to Juugo as my thoughts raced.

It was obvious that he would not be able to come with us, still injured as he was. He would just slow us down.

"How far behind are they?" I asked.

Karin shook her head. "Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes. We need to get out of here as quickly as possible."

I glanced back at the now-conscious Juugo again.

Apparently, he was now awake enough to notice my look. He shook his head. "Leave me behind, Sasuke. I'll just slow you down, and the team isn't after me anyways."

I thought about it for a moment, then dismissed the thought, shaking my head. "No, that's a bad idea. Tobi is still out in the woods around here somewhere, and you're injured, easy pickings."

Two days ago, I probably would have mentioned how I still needed to be around to serve as his cage. Now I was almost certain that that was no longer truly necessary.

And even then, beyond the monster, beyond his uncontrollable urges, Juugo was my friend.

I trusted him.

"Sasuke," Karin said, and I noticed that she had finally moved off of Suigetsu, who was now heaving in great gulps of air between his pained groans. "I'm pretty sure that the pursuers are tracking us through your scent. I think that if Juugo used his birds, we might be able to divert them by scattering scraps of your old clothes in different directions."

I thought for a moment. It was a good plan, but…

I shook my head. "No. Scattering them is unacceptable. It would allow Tobi to pick them off individually."

And if Naruto was with the retrieval team, as I suspected he would be, then separating him from the rest of them, and allowing him to exhaust himself by creating Kage Bunshin to search in every direction would be a bad idea.

Suigetsu finally got to his feet, rubbing his head as he pushed the broken door of his body. "Sasuke…" he asked slowly. "Why are ya so scared of that Tobi guy? He was an idiot!"

I shook my head firmly. "He was far more dangerous than he let on. Possibly more so than Deidara."

Karin nodded in agreement. "You didn't feel his chakra." She shuddered. "It was… cold. Colder than Itachi's, even."

Suigetsu sighed and rubbed his head. "If you say so…" he muttered.

"Well?" Karin asked, and I turned back to her. "What do we do?"

I glanced at Juugo, and thought for a moment.

Scent-tracking, scattering clothes, and a team that was specifically pursuing me…

I felt the beginnings of a plan in my head, and smirked.

I looked up at all three of them in turn.

"Karin," I said. "I have a plan. Let Juugo bite you."

"Sasuke," she started. "That won't be enough. He's too-"

"Do it," I cut her off firmly. She opened her mouth once more, possibly to protest, but it clicked shut a moment later, and she nodded before moving to his side.

"Sasuke?" Juugo asked, sounding curious now. "What are you planning?"

I turned my smirk on him. "Konoha's here after me, right?" I asked.

He nodded slowly.

"Well I'm going to give them exactly what they want."

And I explained.

XXX

When I was finished, Suigetsu blinked and smacked his palm into his face. "As expected, your plans are all insane. Even when they don't involve blowing yourself up!"

I almost smiled. "Insane," I said, "but brilliant."

Karin rolled her eyes. "Like 'facing Orochimaru on your own'-level brilliance? Or something even more brilliant?"

I shrugged. "Hey, they've worked so far, haven't they?"

"Yeah, because you've been lucky," she rejoindered.

"Luck is also a form of skill."

She snorted. "A skill granted only to the most mentally-challenged among us."

I rolled my own eyes and turned to Juugo, who was looking at me intently.

"Sasuke," he started, "you don't need to do this."

I blinked and tilted my head quizzically. "Of course I do, Juugo. What are you saying?"

"You could just leave me behind," he suggested.

"And you could've let me be hit by a dozen bombs. You didn't."

Juugo said nothing, just watching me. I sighed.

"We're a team," I said. "Comrades. We don't leave our own behind, no matter what."

"Why not?" Juugo asked, honest curiosity in his voice.

"Because in the world of shinobi, those who break the rules may be considered trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash."

Suigetsu sighed, Karin smacked her forehead with her palm, and Juugo just watched me.

But even then, I could see that all three of them were smiling.

I grinned.

"Let's do this."

XXX

I was waiting near the stalls right outside the inn when I felt him approaching from behind me.

I snapped shut the book I had been flipping through, which happened to be one of the latest of Jiraiya's novels, and smiled.

"Hello, Naruto."

He froze. Apparently, he'd thought he'd been being sneaky.

I turned around and faced him, wiping the grin off my face. The black cloak I was wearing was a contrast to Naruto's white. His expression was a mixture of annoyance and anticipation. He rolled his eyes and brought his hands up into a familiar, cross-shaped seal, though he didn't activate the jutsu immediately.

"Shoulda known I wouldn't be able to sneak up on you, bastard."

I tilted my head, looking behind him.

"Where are the others?" I asked calmly.

He smirked, and an instant later, Kakashi and Sakura landed to either side of him. My sensei still had his sharingan covered, but I could feel the tension rolling off of him in tides. Sakura had an almost-fanatically determined expression on her face.

I blinked. "Ah."

"You're trapped, Sasuke," Kakashi said, his voice uncharacteristically serious. "Give up."

I raised my eyebrow. "And if I don't?"

Sakura cracked her knuckles. "Then we'll beat you down until you're unconscious and drag you back!" she declared.

My other eyebrow came up. Apparently Sakura really had grown some fangs to match her bark.

Naruto's smirk widened as three more people landed behind him. All of the members of Team 8 except Kurenai.

A tracking team. I glanced between the three of them, a sudden wave of nostalgia threatening to overwhelm me.

However, when I spoke again, it was in a cold voice. "I already know why these losers are here. Why are you?"

Kiba smirked. "Because Naruto's too nice to stomp on you when ya try to run, bastard!"

If I had a third eyebrow, it would have shot right up into my scalp. Naruto and Sakura's palms simultaneously struck their foreheads. Hinata smiled awkwardly and tried to look suitably impressed. Unfortunately, she didn't do it very well.

"Because you did such a great job of that during the last retrieval mission," I murmured. Naruto frowned, Sakura covered her mouth to stifle a laugh before immediately retracting it with a mildly guilty look, and Kakashi's single-visible eye curled downwards, showcasing his amusement. Hinata somehow managed to look even more awkward in that moment.

"Hey!" Kiba shouted.

I shot him the most amused and condescending glance I could muster, and turned away.

"And you?" I asked Shino. Kiba was still blubbering to the side, I noticed, but I payed him no mind.

Shino didn't do anything for a moment, and I realized that he was actually surprised.

Was he really that used to being ignored?

I stared at him a few moments more, then spoke. "No response, huh?"

I turned away, ignoring the sudden wave of soul-crushing despair emanating from the boy's chakra. I glanced at Hinata, concluded that the nervous-looking girl wouldn't be saying much, and looked back towards Naruto shaking my head in exasperation.

"When are you going to learn, Naruto? You failed three years ago, at the Valley of the End. What makes you think you'll succeed now?"

"Because this time," he said, calm, confident. "I have my friends, my comrades here to help me!"

"Friends?" I asked. "Comrades? What do they matter?"

Naruto opened his mouth, but nothing came out. It snapped shut a moment later. He ground his teeth together, staring at me.

I looked back, not giving anything away. He truly seemed to be at a loss for words.

So when the response to my question did come, I had to admit that I was quite surprised.

"Because you're our friend, and our comrade, Sasuke-san."

It was calm, confident, measured. There was, conviction there, true conviction.

I turned, slowly, and looked at Hinata, who I had so casually dismissed just a few moments before, staring at me, the previous awkwardness gone. Her eyes were filled with an aquiline sense of balance and determination.

I glanced back at Naruto, who for once wasn't either watching me or blabbering on. Instead, he was blinking, looking at Hinata with his jaw hanging open ever so slightly.

It was as if he had only just truly seen her.

"Your girlfriend is quite impressive, Naruto," I conceded.

He blinked again. "Hey, wait-"

Hinata turned crimson, her face shining so bright that it nearly glowed. I could almost see the steam rising from her cheeks from the heat of her blush. In an instant, every bit of her previous composure had evaporated.

I blinked, then turned back to Kakashi and Sakura.

"You mean he didn't know?" I asked incredulously.

"Hey!" Naruto called. "Didn't know what? Stop ignoring me!"

I ignored him.

"Ah well, you know." The copy ninja shrugged dramatically. Sakura just looked completely lost. "Young love is so… complicated. It's why I prefer my books. Much easier to digest."

I glanced at the Icha Icha novel, which I was still holding, and tossed it over to Naruto, who caught it awkwardly.

"Read that," I commanded, rolling my eyes. "And here I thought that Jiraiya of all people would've given you a proper education in these matters…"

Hinata's face looked so hot that I could have baked a cake on it at this point.

Kakashi glanced at the novel that the still-stunned blonde was just holding, blinking repeatedly and making quiet, baffled noises.

"Very nice," he remarked. "A first edition? I'm impressed, Sasuke. Where did you get your hands on it?"

I carelessly shrugged. "Orochimaru had many resources at his disposal. It was far simpler than you would think."

Kakashi hummed an acknowledgement.

"What I wouldn't give for those…" he muttered, before speaking up.

"So, Sasuke," my sensei said, smiling.

"How long do you think you'll be able to keep delaying us?"

And with that, the tension ratcheted all the way back up.

I smiled back at him. "So you noticed?" I shook my head ruefully. "I suppose it's just one more thing I'll have to apologize for."

"Apologize?" Sakura asked, seeming to finally find the will to speak.

"You haven't realized?" My smile turned positively feral. "You are all already in my genjutsu."

Everyone reacted immediately, eyes widening as they brought their hands up to dispel the illusion.

And in that instant of distraction, I moved, spinning around and leaping onto the building behind me, before sprinting away across the rooftops.

"Sorry!" I called back at the Konoha shinobi. "That was a lie!"

XXX

I led them on a merry chase for nearly twenty minutes, weaving through the trees, confounding their efforts, confusing them with me, even placing a genjutsu to waylay them once in a while. At some point, Sai and Yamato joined the pursuers. There was a whole eight-man team after me.

One time, Naruto managed to charge ahead of the group, licking at my heels. I used the opportunity to move ahead of him, separating him further and further from the group. Then I spun around and kicked him to the ground, right before disappearing in a burst of speed.

After that, the Konoha shinobi were so far behind that I had to slow down a bit just to let them catch up.

I was faster than my pursuers, but they had far more stamina than I did. After twenty minutes of running at near-breakneck speeds, I could feel my energy beginning to ebb.

Naruto, on the other hand, had seemingly-boundless energy. He kept on my heels at a steady pace for around three minutes after the others started to fall behind, and I found that I couldn't muster another burst of speed large enough to push him off my tail.

And even then, my chakra was running low. I couldn't keep this up for long.

And so, I picked a likely spot, and dropped to the ground, spinning around and drawing my Kusanagi.

Naruto was on me in an instant, a spiraling orb of chakra clutched between his hand and one of his clones.

I met his attack with my lightning-sheathed blade. The air filled with the crackling of lightning, as the bark on the trees around us was stripped off by the sheer force of our clash.

"Why? Why don't you understand, Sasuke?" he cried, sweat pouring down his face even as he pushed more chakra into his jutsu. " We can help you! We want to beat Itachi just as much as you do!"

"I don't need you to help me deal with my own problems!" I snarled back, "I killed Orochimaru alone, and I'll deal with Itachi too!"

The jutsu clash intensified, the wind rushing past Naruto's body howling faster and faster as the crackling lightning from my blade arced wildly around us.

We inched closer and closer, until our faces were just inches apart. Blue and red. Sun, and shadow.

Naruto's rasengan exploded, and the two of us were blown away from each other. Naruto crashed into a tree trunk behind him, exploded through it, and smashed into the ground.

I tumbled backwards, hitting the dirt repeatedly until I finally managed to get my feet back under me, and slid back several feet more across the ground with them firmly planted in the ground.

Naruto pulled himself to his feet, and wiped away an errant piece of dirt staining his lower lip with his sleeve. I sheathed my sword.

"Sasuke," he pleaded, "let us help you find him! Let us help you fight him! Please!"

"I already have found him!" I roared. "And you are between me and him! If you want to help me, then get out of the way and stop chasing me!"

Naruto clenched his jaw. I tightened my hands into fists.

We stared at each other, wordless and exhausted, for just an instant, looking into each other's eyes.

A wordless agreement passed between us.

I charged forward, fist cocked back, and Naruto did the same. We covered the distance in an instant, and I landed a bruising blow on his jaw, and moving my head to let his just barely graze me.

Dazed, Naruto pulled back.

I didn't let him retreat.

I lashed out, arms weaving fluidly through the air like serpents, striking his upper chest, solar plexus, and abdomen in quick succession. He drew back, trying to regain his bearings.

Pivoting on my left leg, I drove my right knee viciously into his stomach, doubling him over as it sent him flying.

He landed hard on his back, and coughed up blood.

"Can't you see, Naruto?" I called, something bordering on desperation in my voice as I watched him struggle to his feet. "You're not even a match for me! How can you expect to fight Itachi? How can you expect me to let you? I could have killed you three times over already!"

Sakura dropped down next to Naruto, helping him get up, while Kakashi landed in front of him, just as he reached his feet. Naruto grinned and wiped the blood away from his lip as he let go of Sakura.

"That's because," he responded, a fierce grin crossing his features, "I have friends and comrades to cover my back and pick me back up if I ever fall down! People who can save me when I can't save myself."

I felt my mouth open, but nothing came out. The inside felt dry, like sandpaper.

I was suddenly struck by how tired I was. I fell down into a sitting position, slumping and breathing heavily.

Kakashi smiled at me, stepping forward.

"You don't get to run away from us, Sasuke. We'll be there for you, no matter how hard you try to push us away."

Sakura smiled and nodded. "That's right, Sasuke-kun. We're Team Seven. We have to stick together!"

I looked between the three of them, so bright and confident.

And suddenly felt incredibly out of place.

The rest of the retrieval team landed behind him, Kiba with his confident grin, Shino, expressionless as always, and Hinata who smiled and tried not to blush when looking at Naruto.

"You said that you couldn't expect me to fight alongside you unless I could match you, bastard," Naruto said, walking forward to where I was sitting. "Well? D'you think ya can beat all of us when together?"

I felt both of my swords, still sheathed, as a hard weight digging into my back as I continued to sit.

Naruto stretched his hand down to me. "C'mon, Sasuke. Let's do this together."

I looked at his outstretched hand, and felt my own twitch, trying to rise to grab it.

I felt a small, involuntary twitch of my lips.

And then, I smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. It's too late."

Naruto's eyes widened, but he didn't retract his hand. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head tiredly. "The leader has already found Itachi. He's moving to engage right now."

"The… leader?" Naruto muttered, before his eyes widened in comprehension. "You're a clone," he said, disbelieving, not wanting to believe.

I saw Kakashi's face take on a sudden grim set behind, and a look of despair mixed with horror across Sakura's.

From victory into the depths of defeat. How many times had I taken satisfaction from that same look on the faces of my opponents?

Now, it just made me feel sick.

"I watched you use the jutsu so many times I could probably do it blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back," I confirmed.

"Where is the original?" Kakashi asked, quiet and calm.

I pointed north. "That way. The leader only left the village after I led you out."

Kiba looked that way, making a show of quickly sniffing the air, nodded to Kakashi, then frowned. He turned back to me. "But how did you mask your scent?"

"I didn't," I responded. "I just used your own perceptions and preconceived notions against you."

Kakashi, who had also looked almost puzzled a moment before, suddenly had a look of comprehension pass his face. "The inn," he breathed out. "The one which we met you in front of… The original Sasuke was hiding inside while you drew us off to a sufficient distance for him to run. You masked your trail by backtracking along it and providing a stronger scent to follow at the end."

I grabbed the lapel of my shirt and pulled at it. "I changed clothes," I admitted calmly. "These old ones are absolutely covered in my scent."

Sakura spun on them. "That's interesting and all, but we have to move! We need to get to the original before we run out of time!"

Kakashi gave a sharp nod and turned to the squad. "Get moving, all of you!" he called out. "Now!"

In a moment, every shinobi other than Naruto was gone. He looked down at me, and I raised an eyebrow.

Finally, he just nodded.

"Shadow clones carry all of their memories back to the original when they're dispelled," he said, "so I want you to carry a message to the original Sasuke."

"And what might that be?" I asked. I could feel my reserves of chakra, almost completely gone at this point. I had less than two minutes left.

"I want you to know that when I find you, I'm gonna give you the asskicking of your life, then drag you back with my teeth if I have to. You're my friend, Sasuke, and I'm not gonna let you run forever!"

I just stared at him blankly for a moment, then nodded again.

"I'll make sure I know about it," I murmured drily. "Though, I suspect that I'm not gonna be the one getting his ass kicked."

"Bastard! I'll totally beat the crap outta you!" Despite his words, Naruto was grinning.

I rolled my eyes. "In your dreams, moron." I could feel myself smiling too. I turned it into a mocking smirk. "See you soon."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "You too."

Then I disappeared in a puff of smoke.

A/N: The funny thing about Trollsuke is that he's basically the same Sasuke as ever. He simply says the things that he normally just notes in his internal monologue.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed.