Betrayal
Chapter 10
When he answered without noting who was calling he of course had no idea his life was about to change dramatically. Again.
"Yeah, it's Gibbs."
"Jethro, it's Ducky."
Jethro was immediately wide awake because somehow he knew Ducky wasn't calling to wish him a Happy New Year.
"Jethro you need to come home."
"I am coming home on Monday. Should be there by…."
"No, you need to come now! Jenny's in hospital. You need to get here."
"What the hell is going on?"
"I don't know for sure. I just got a call from Georgetown University Hospital telling me Jenny was there. I have no other information except that you need to get here."
Jethro was already putting his clothes on and gathering what few belongings he had in the room. His mind was spinning but years of crisis training let him stay relatively calm.
"Was she in an accident? Is she sick?"
"I'm sorry Jethro I just don't know. They wouldn't tell me anything over the phone. When can you be here?"
"I'm in San Diego so I'll get a flight tonight. I'll call you when I know something."
"Good. I'll see if I can find out what's going on and call you back."
"Thanks Duck."
Jethro had to think for a moment. He needed a plane ticket. He needed to tell Ana what was happening. Jethro called down to the desk and told the young woman working what he needed and she said she could take care of it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd made a plane reservation for himself and he didn't want to figure it all out now. Next he went to Ana's room and knocked on the door. Ana answered quickly and peered out at him with sleepy eyes. She opened the door and he stepped inside.
"Sorry to wake you. Look, Ducky just called me and said Jenny's in the hospital and I need to get home now. Here are the keys to the truck. You drive it home and leave it with Mike. Ask him to take my tools out of the back and keep them safe. You use the truck any time you need it."
He was talking so fast and was so obviously agitated that Ana almost couldn't keep up with him. Luckily, she too was trained to stay calm I a crisis.
"Jethro, take a breath. Do you have a plane reservation?"
"The girl at the desk is getting it for me."
"Okay. What else did Ducky say?"
"He doesn't know anything. Said he got a call from the hospital and they told him I needed to get there. That's all he said."
"That seems odd. Why didn't they just call you directly?"
"I don't know."
Just then his phone buzzed. It was the front desk.
"Mr. Gibbs you're booked on the flight that leaves at one twenty arriving in DC at eight thirty tomorrow morning. A cab will be waiting for you out front."
"Thank you."
"I gotta go. One more thing, could you call my friend Mark, here's his card, and tell him what happened and I'll call him sometime. I'm sorry to just run out on you like this. I wanted us to have a little more time. To talk things out. Or….I don't know what exactly."
Ana reached for him and wrapped her arms around him. His heart was racing and Ana knew he was near panic. Her heart ached for him and how scared he was in that moment.
"Jethro, it's okay. Listen to me. Go home to your wife and take care of her. That is where you belong and she is who you belong with. Remember one thing, you are loved here. You are a good man; the best I've ever known and you deserve all the happiness you can find. Go on now, I'll take care of the truck and let Mike know what's happened. Let him know what's going on when you can."
"I will. Thank you Ana, for everything. You are very important to me."
Ana kissed him on the cheek and pushed him out the door.
As he stepped into the elevator he heard her say, "I love you." Then he was gone.
The cab was at the front door. Jethro made sure the rooms and the flight were on his credit card, thanked the young lady at the desk and went out into the night. On the way to the airport he dug his shaving kit out of his bag and found his wedding ring. He'd taken it off months ago and put it in there for safekeeping. Now he slipped it on his finger and closed his eyes in a silent prayer that his Jenny was alright.
While he waited at the gate Jethro called Ducky but got no answer. He left a message with his arrival time. The plane left on time and soon Jethro was on his way home. His mind was reeling with possibilities as to what could be going on with Jenny. He couldn't understand why Ducky had been called but he guessed that didn't matter. Jethro forced himself to quiet his mind and eventually he fell asleep as the plane sped eastward. With another hour to go in the flight Jethro woke up worrying. His gut was churning with dread and somehow he knew whatever had happened was deadly serious. He began right then blaming himself for being gone so long. For leaving in the first place. He told himself he never should have left; it was all about his pride. He should have at least talked to Jenny and given her a chance. As he stared out the window he felt like the future he had envisioned was slipping through his fingers. Finally, when he thought he was going to lose his mind, they began their descent.
As soon as they landed Jethro checked his phone for a message from Ducky. Naturally the damn thing was dead. Jethro so rarely used the phone these days he had forgotten to charge it before he left Mike's and now it was stone cold dead. It didn't matter really. He was headed to the hospital anyway and soon enough he'd know what was going on. God how he hated hospitals. Well, he'd find out what was wrong with Jenny, they'd fix it and then the two of them would start over. Seldom had Jethro been so wrong.
It was just after eight-thirty in the morning when they landed. Jethro quickly got through the terminal and out to the taxi line. Within minutes he was on his way to the hospital. Once he got out of the taxi he realized he had no idea where in the hospital to go. He found the information desk and asked for Jenny's room. The volunteer found her name and told Jethro to go to the sixth floor and ask for Dr. Rodgers. Riding up in the elevator Jethro told himself to be calm and patient. He reminded himself the people there were helping Jenny and he needed to be nice to them. He hated hospitals and wasn't too fond of most doctors. That reminded him of Ana and he vowed to be nice.
When he got to the sixth floor Jethro found Ducky waiting for him in the lobby. This was not a patient floor; all Jethro saw were offices with their doors closed.
"Ah Jethro, I'm glad you're here."
"What's goin' on Duck? Where's Jenny?"
"I'm afraid I don't know much at all. Come with me to the doctor's office and we'll find out together."
"I want to see Jenny first."
Just then a tall, well built man about Jethro's age stepped up and stood very close to Jethro.
"Agent Gibbs, I'm Dr. Rodgers. Please come with me and I'll tell you what's going on with your wife."
"I want to see her first," Jethro insisted.
"Agent Gibbs, she's sleeping right now. And, she asked me to talk to you first before you see her. I know you're probably confused and obviously concerned. Please, come with me. You too Dr. Mallard."
Jethro felt his temper building and he forced himself to follow Dr. Rodgers down the hallway to his office. Now he was really scared.
When the three men reached the office Dr. Rogers let Jethro and Ducky precede him then he closed the door. He sat in a chair in front of his desk and signaled for Jethro and Ducky to take the couch across from him.
"I've been on a plane all night. I'll stand."
"That's fine. Would you like some coffee, Agent Gibbs?"
"No thanks. And it's just Gibbs. I'm not an agent anymore."
"Alright let's get to it. I have a lot of information to give you and some of what I'm going to tell you will be difficult for you to hear. Please bear with me. First of all I have been your wife's doctor for the last five months. She has given me her permission to share anything and everything with you and with Dr. Mallard. I know about your separation and the fact that Jenny has not talked to you for several months."
"Doctor what the hell is wrong with my wife? Why am I here and why is she here?"
"Two days ago your wife delivered a healthy baby boy. You have a son, Mr. Gibbs."
Jethro was speechless. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face the doctor. He was instantly overjoyed and furious at the same time. How could Jenny have kept that from him? Why? Then it hit him.
"Are you sure it's mine? If you know so much about us I assume you know why we're separated. Is she sure this is my baby?"
"Yes, she is. And, in order to make sure you were sure we did DNA testing and the child is most definitely yours. He is perfectly healthy if a little small. He was about three weeks early."
Jethro was confused. Jenny had been pregnant all this time and now she'd had the baby and it was his so what was the big mystery? There was more to the story obviously.
"What else Doctor?"
"Please sit down Gibbs. This is the part that will be hard to hear."
Jethro finally sat down next to Ducky who put a calming hand on his arm.
"When your wife was just entering her second trimester of the pregnancy she was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer. She refused any and all treatment in favor of trying to take the baby to term. She succeeded in that endeavor but of course that means her cancer has progressed unchecked for the last five months."
Jethro felt like he'd been hit by a truck. He felt like he couldn't breathe. There was a tightness in his chest and he thought for a moment he was having a heart attack. Then the doctor's words sank in and tears filled his eyes. From the joy and anger of the birth announcement to this horrible news Jethro felt like he was under attack from all sides. He suddenly stood up and paced around the room.
"So what are you doing about the cancer? What treatment is she getting?"
He tried to keep the panic and anger out of his voice but he doubted he'd been successful. Dr. Rodgers didn't seemed phased however.
"I'm afraid there is really nothing we can do at this stage. Your wife's decision to forego treatment until the birth pretty much meant there would be no treatment later. As I said this is a very aggressive type of cancer and it was not discovered early. It was already fairly widespread when the diagnosis was made. I sincerely doubt any treatment would have resulted in a good outcome. As it is, Jenny saved your child with her decision."
Jethro bent over, his hands on his knees and tried to breathe normally. He wanted to cry. When Ducky went to him and put his arm around Jethro's shoulders the tears came and there was nothing he could do to stop them. After a few moments Jethro stood up and went back to the couch. Ducky sat next to him stunned at this horrible news.
"Why didn't she tell me?" It was all Jethro could manage to ask even though he had so many more questions.
"She told me she was waiting until her second trimester to tell you about the baby just to be sure everything was alright. Then when she got the diagnosis before she could tell you she decided to wait. I think perhaps she should explain her reasons herself. I'm very sorry to give you this news. I want you to know that Jenny has done a remarkable job of maintaining her health for the safety of your son. She had a choice to make months ago and she chose your baby over her own chance at some extra time."
"And there's nothing you can do for her now? There has to be something. Aren't you guys finding new stuff all the time?"
"Yes we are but in your wife's case there is nothing new to be used. Her cancer is advanced and progressing."
"How long?"
"Best case a year. More likely six to nine months. I don't normally like to guess but I'd say that's the most we can hope for."
Jethro leaned back and covered his face with his hands. He felt sick to his stomach and he desperately wanted to wake up from this nightmare. Neither the doctor or Ducky said anything for a long time. Ducky was processing his own shock and grief and searching for some way to help his friend.
"Jethro, perhaps you would like to see your son."
Slowly Jethro sat up and wiped his eyes. He took some deep breaths and stood up.
"Yes, I would like to see my son and then I want to see my wife. When can they go home?"
"Jenny needs to stay here three days or so. The baby was taken by cesarean section so Jenny needs time to recover from that surgery. And, I want to monitor her to see how her body responds to no longer carrying a fetus. The baby could go home before that but I think we'd like to keep him here with his mother. If that's alright with you of course."
"Yeah that's fine. Can I hold him?"
"Yes, he's not in any distress. He's just a bit small but his breathing is fine and he's in good health. Come on, let's go see him."
In a daze, Jethro and Ducky followed Dr. Rodgers to the elevator and up to the eighth floor where the nursery was located. After donning a gown Jethro was led into the room and a nurse directed him to a small alcove where there was a rocking chair. In just a moment she handed him his son wrapped in a soft cotton blanket and wearing a matching cap. Jethro was overwhelmed and couldn't stop the tears that fell. The nurse, seeing his distress and knowing about the mother's condition handed him a tissue and gave him an encouraging smile.
"He's perfect in every way. He weighed in at five pounds seven ounces and he's twenty inches long. He's a good eater and he loves to be held."
Jethro was afraid to try and speak knowing he was about to cry. Instead he held out his hand to the nurse and she grasped his.
"You take all the time you want. Let me know if you need anything or have any questions."
"What's his name?"
"His mother said she'd wait for you to name him. She told us to call him Baby Gibbs for now."
Jethro smiled. That sounded right. The nurse went back to her duties and Jethro held his son up and kissed him on the head. Then he carefully unwrapped him and checked him over head to toe. As he was getting him wrapped back up the nurse came over and asked if he'd give the baby some skin-to-skin time.
"If you will take off your jacket and shirt we can lay Baby Gibbs on your chest. It's really helpful in bonding and given your circumstances I think it would be good for you to do this as well as his mother who has already had the opportunity."
"Yes, I want to do that."
Jethro quickly shed the gown, his jacket and shirt and the nurse handed him the baby. Jethro's big hand engulfed his son's tiny body and held him firmly against dad's warm chest. Jethro flashed back to the times he used to hold Kelly like this and they would fall asleep together. There was no better feeling in the world.
"I see you've done this before. Right?"
"Yes, I had a daughter a long time ago."
"He will be ready to eat in about fifteen minutes so if he starts to fuss that's why. My name is Lisa. You let me know if you need anything."
"Thank you Lisa."
Jethro held his son and rocked and tried very had not to be angry at the baby's mother. He couldn't begin to imagine why she kept all this from him. He should have been here with her, helping her and taking care of her. He forced himself to put all that aside and focus on the here and now. Focus on his son. When the baby began to root around and fuss, Jethro signaled to Lisa who brought him a bottle. She held the baby while Jethro pulled his shirt on then handed the baby and the bottle to dad.
"Could my friend come in? He's a doctor and I need to talk to him."
"Yes, I'll get him."
Jethro cradled the baby in the crook of his arm and gave him the bottle. His son stared up at him with newborn blue eyes and Jethro was once again overcome with emotion. He had thought his parenting days were long over and now in this the cruel twist of fate he had a son who would soon have no mother. He and Jenny had tried for years to get pregnant and finally had given up and accepted their lives would be without children. And now they had a son.
Ducky stepped in and watched his friend with the baby. He was struck by the cruelty of the situation as well as the joy that he knew Jethro and Jenny both felt at having a child together.
"Ah, Jethro what a beautiful sight you two are."
"Duck I don't understand what happened. Why in god's name didn't she call me? I would have been here. She had to know that. I told her I loved her and wanted us to work things out. Why keep all this to herself? And where has she been all this time?"
"I can't answer the why questions but I can tell you what Dr. Rodgers told me. Jenny has been in Boston almost the entire time. She was under the care of a specialist who monitored the pregnancy and the cancer and helped Jenny bring the baby to term. I suspect her stubbornness and independence got the best of her and she didn't want to have you back simply to care for her. I don't know, Jethro and I doubt she really does either. She made decisions under a lot of pressure and stress and perhaps she made the wrong choice. I urge you however to focus on the here and now. Focus on this precious child and whatever time you and Jenny have left together."
"I will. It just hurts to know I was in Mexico all this time miserable without her and I should have been here taking care of her."
"Jethro, you both made decisions you may regret now but as you well know, the past can't be changed."
"Yeah, I know."
They sat in silence, Jethro watching his son eagerly consume the formula. When the baby was finished eating, Jethro expertly put him on his shoulder and patted his back until the baby burped.
"Good boy", he whispered to his son.
"Jethro, I'll give you some time alone. When you're ready we'll go see Jenny and you can start the healing process you two need."
"Okay. Listen, Duck, thank you for being here. It helps."
"There is no other place I could be now. You and Jennifer are very important to me Jethro and I'm very sorry for your troubles."
"I know Duck. Thanks. I'll be out in a few minutes."
When Ducky had left Jethro cradled his son and brushed his baby soft cheeks with his finger marveling at the miracle he was holding.
"I love you little boy. Your mom loves you. I promise I'll always take care of you and protect you and love you no matter what happens. I love you so much."
The baby blinked his dark blue eyes twice at his daddy and then fell sound asleep. Jethro held him up and kissed his cheek. He took a moment to savor the sweet smell of his baby boy then he stood up to find Lisa and return the baby to her to her safekeeping.
"I'll be back."
"We can bring the baby to mom's room when you're ready. We actually will leave him with you as much as you want us to."
"That'll be fine. I just need some time first to…"
Lisa gripped his arm, "I know. You take your time and have one of her nurses call us when you're ready."
"Thank you."
Jethro gave his son one last kiss and handed him over. Ducky was waiting for him and together they walked down the hall to find Jenny's room. The they arrived outside the correct room, Jethro stopped.
Ducky waited then said, "Go on Jethro. I'll be here if you need me. She's waiting for you I'm sure."
Jethro took a deep breath and looked at Ducky. For the first time in all the years he'd known him Ducky saw fear on his friend's face.
"Jethro, don't worry. Dr. Rodgers said she's anxious to see you and she's feeling pretty well. She's your Jenny; the same woman you've loved all these years. Go to her and don't waste another precious minute."
Jethro nodded and gave a soft knock on the door to alert Jenny he was coming him. Then he walked through the door to begin another difficult chapter in his life.
Jenny was sitting up in the bed nervously flipping through pages of a magazine waiting for Jethro to arrive. Dr. Rodgers had been in and told her he was in the hospital. For days Jenny had been anticipating this reunion and rehearsing over and over in her head what she would say to Jethro when she saw him. Now that he was standing just three feet away she couldn't find her voice. The last few months had been such a terrible struggle and she had been so lonesome for him that many days she reached for the phone to call him to come home. But she had never made that call and now she wondered how he would react. She knew him as well as anyone and she knew he would be angry at least at first. His instinct to protect her had been thwarted and now she would have to answer for that.
To her surprise Jethro seemed as anxious as she felt. When he finally moved to her bedside she saw tears in his eyes and she held out her hands beckoning him to her. Jethro carefully sat on the side of the bed and Jenny wrapped her arms around him as he embraced her. They held each other and cried together but neither of them spoke. The relief they each felt in holding the other was immense. The anger Jethro thought he had dissolved in his tears and Jenny's fear of rejection was washed away. Nothing seemed to matter in those first emotional moments except that they were back in each other's arms.
Jenny smoothed her hands up and down his back and realized that he was just in the initial hours of dealing with her diagnosis. She had had months to get used to the idea but it was all new for Jethro. Remembering him talking about his mother dying reminded her that Jethro had been through this ordeal before. She had come to terms with her future, or lack thereof, but he hadn't time to do that yet.
Finally, Jethro pulled back and sat up. He wiped her tears away and leaned in to kiss her. It was a soft, delicious kiss that told her everything she needed to know. Jethro loved her and he was back. She felt whole again.
"Have you seen him? Isn't he perfect?"
"He is. He is the most perfect thing I've ever seen."
"Jethro I know you have a dozen questions and I want to try and answer them. I owe you some explanations."
"Jen, all I care about is now. We can talk about all that later if you want to but honestly, it doesn't matter. We both made decisions in haste and maybe we made some of them wrong. I don't care about that now. I care about you and our son and what we're going to do next."
"I just need to say that I never intended to keep the pregnancy from you. Not in the beginning. I wanted to wait and make sure everything was alright and then the cancer showed up and I just didn't want you come back just to take care of me. I missed you every day and I questioned myself every day. I'm sorry, Jethro."
"It's alright Jen. I should have come home a long time ago. I let my pride get in the way of us and I'm sorry. Let's just focus on our son and our lives."
"I want that more than anything. We have to talk about the future Jethro, about my cancer and what's going to happen."
"Can we do that tomorrow? We have something more important to do right now."
"What's that?"
"We need to give that little boy a name."
Jenny laughed and the sound of it was music to Jethro's ears. God how he'd missed that sound. He kissed her again and ran his fingers through her hair.
"I've missed doing that. I've missed you Jen. I love you. I'm sorry I left and stayed gone so long."
"No more apologies. We're going forward now. So, I have a name I'd like to use but I want you to have a say of course."
"What's your choice?"
"Matthew. It means…."
"A gift from God. Yes, that's perfect."
"How do you know that?"
Jethro didn't answer right away and Jenny knew, "That was a name you and Shannon liked, right?"
"Yes. It was our choice if Kelly had been a boy."
"Then it is doubly perfect. Okay, you pick the middle name."
"Donald. Matthew Donald Gibbs. How about that?"
"Oh yes, I like it. What a wonderful idea."
"Dr. Rodgers told me what you did to give our son a chance. Jen I don't know what to say."
"You would do the same thing Jethro. Without even thinking about it you would give your life for our child. There was really no question."
"Jen, I …."
She stopped him with a gentle kiss.
"I know. It takes some getting used to. This is all new for you babe, but we'll work it out. You and I can do anything together. I'm glad you're home."
"Me too. Ducky's outside. Would you like to see him?"
"Yes, I would."
Jethro kissed her again and reluctantly let go of her hand. Jenny straightened herself out and wiped her eyes again. She had thought months ago she'd cried all the tears she'd ever have but that had proven untrue of course.
Ducky stepped in the room and Jenny felt more tears coming at the sight of their dear friend. Ducky had been the first to know of their love affair in Europe and the first to know of their marriage. He had kept their confidence for months and months. His counsel was invaluable to both Jenny and Jethro and Jenny loved him almost as much as she loved her husband.
"Jenny my dear you look splendid. That baby of yours is the cutest ever."
"Thank you Ducky. He is wonderful isn't he?"
"Indeed."
"We've finally named him. Tell him Jethro."
"His name is Matthew Donald."
Ducky was taken aback. "Oh my goodness. What an honor. And Matthew; how appropriate. Thank you very much. I am touched beyond words."
"Ducky thank you for getting Jethro here. Dr. Rodgers told me what happened."
"What did happen? Why didn't the hospital call me? Or you, Jen why didn't you call me?"
"My phone is in Boston or somewhere. I have no idea really. And of course I didn't have the number written down anywhere; it was only on the damn phone. Apparently in my records showing you as the emergency contact they have your old number. Ducky was next on the list."
"Oh. Makes sense."
"How long have you been here?"
"Just since the day before Matthew was born. I came down for a checkup and Dr. Rodger insisted the baby needed to come. So…here we are."
There was a long silence with Jethro wanting to ask so many questions and Jenny waiting for him to sort them out in his mind. Ducky watched them and waited.
Ignoring what Dr. Rodgers had told him, Jethro asked, "I know I said we'd talk about this tomorrow but I need to know what we're going to do. About the cancer I mean. What treatments and stuff are we going to do?"
"None is the short answer."
Jethro started to speak and Jenny silenced him with two fingers on his lips.
"No, Jethro this time you will have to listen. You have to trust me on this. I have explored every single option, talked to lots of doctors and read lots of studies. There is simply nothing we can do to significantly extend my life. If I had not been pregnant I could have had some aggressive, awful treatments that would have given me maybe another year. I would have been sick a lot of that time. You know from when your mom was sick that sometimes the treatment makes you feel worse than the disease. If it's going to help in the long run that's acceptable but in this case it just won't."
"She's right Jethro. I've talked this over with Dr. Rodgers and I'm afraid I have to agree with Jenny. Hard as it is to accept there is simply nothing to be done."
Jethro stood up and walked over to the window. He kept thinking about the months he'd been gone. If Jenny had less than a year to live he'd wasted the equivalent of half that time in Mexico. In his mind he saw his mother dying before his young eyes and he wondered how he'd ever be able to watch the woman he loved more than life itself slowly die. And how would he raise Matthew without Jenny there?
"Jethro, we'll be alright."
Jenny's voice was soft but determined and Jethro turned around and looked at her. She was much stronger than anyone would guess looking at her. That had served her well in her career; people underestimated her at their own peril and plenty of bad guys and politicians alike had learned that the hard way. Somehow Jethro knew, he'd have to be strong too but at the moment it was too much and everything he'd learned in the last hour or so came crashing down on him. He'd held it together as long as he could and knowing what lay ahead for them was too much.
In a voice full of anguish and despair and tears he cried, "I know but it's so unfair. We tried so hard for a baby and now we have one and….it's just not fair. I wasted all this time, months and months that we'll never get back. I don't want this to be true. I don't want it!"
Jethro just stood there with tears streaming down his face and Jenny was powerless to help him. She couldn't get out of bed to comfort him and it was killing her. She'd gone through all this already, many times over and she knew exactly what Jethro was feeling. It crushed her to see him so distraught.
Ducky went to Jethro and taking him by the arm led him over to the bedside where he sat down and collapsed in Jenny's arms. She held him and rocked them back and forth constantly telling him she loved him and that they would be alright. After several minutes Jethro seemed to relax and his breathing evened out. Jenny rubbed his back and kissed the side of his head. Ducky slipped out of the room to give them some privacy.
"It's a lot to take in I know. I've had a long time to get my mind around this and still some days I can't accept it. But, babe, we have to accept it and deal with it and embrace what time we have. I want as much time with our son as I can get. I don't want to waste one single day being angry or despairing about what I can't change. I want every day I can have with the only man I've ever loved."
Jethro sat back and scrubbed his hands over his face. His blue eyes that Jenny loved so much were full of pain and sadness but she saw the love he had for her in there too. She had spent many, many weeks punishing herself for hurting this man and now she had him back and was going to leave him too soon. She had to tell him how sorry she was and get that out of the way.
"Jethro, I have one thing I must say and then I want us to move only forward. I am deeply sorry for hurting you by having that stupid affair."
"Jen, you don't…."
"Yes, I do. I was stupid and selfish and I did a despicable thing to you that I have regretted every day since. I have loved you since the day I laid eyes on you the very first time and that has never changed. Every day I worked for you and every day I was away from you I loved you. Every day I have been your boss and your wife I have loved you. I do not deserve your forgiveness but, please, Jethro can you forgive me?"
"Yes. I did a long time ago. I love you Jenny. I never stopped loving you and I never will. We never need to speak of this again. I'm the luckiest man alive to have you loving me. I won't ever forget that."
They held each other for a few minutes then a light knocking sounded at the door. The door inched open and in came Ducky pushing Matthew in a bassinet.
"This little one is lonesome for his parents."
Jenny's face lit up and Jethro went to pick up his son. He turned and handed the baby to Jenny and sat beside them. Watching Jenny with their child was a beautiful sight Jethro had never expected to see.
"The nurses said everything he needs is on the shelf here below his bed. He can stay in here with you as long as you like. It's all cleared with the doctor and everyone."
"Thanks Duck."
"You three are a magical sight I must say. Despite the rather difficult way this has come about it is clear, your little family is finally complete."
"Yes, Ducky it is. I wonder now just how we should go about announcing this little one to your team, Jethro."
"I don't have a team anymore Jen. They're more yours than mine I'd say. But we do need to tell them."
"Yes. And SecNav. And Mike."
"How much does SecNav know?"
"Just that I'm ill and unable to work. He doesn't know about the pregnancy or the seriousness of the illness. I really need to let him know something before this gets out."
"I agree."
Jethro looked at his watch and was surprised to see it was only eleven in the morning. He felt like he'd been up for days.
"Why don't I give him a call and we can explain it to him together."
"Good idea. Do you have your phone?"
"I do but it's dead. Left the charger in Baja."
Jenny just smiled at him and shook her head. Some things never changed. Ducky pulled out his phone and read off the needed number as Jethro used the room phone to call out. Luckily, the phone had a speaker feature so both he and Jenny would be able to talk and hear. After a short delay while his secretary forwarded the call, Secretary Burke came on the line.
"Gibbs?"
"Yes sir. Mr. Secretary I'm here with Director Shepard and we'd like a few minutes if you have the time."
"Of course. How the hell are you Jethro?"
"I'm fine sir. I'm going to put you on speaker and let Jenny talk."
Jethro and Jenny had known the SecNav for many years and were more than just professional colleagues. Paul Burke had hired Jenny for the Director's position and he'd known Jethro since they were both in the Marine Corps. There was a lot of respect and affection between the three of them.
"Mr. Secretary first I want to thank you for your patience with me the last few months. It has been a tremendous help to know you have my back."
"Jenny, my main concern is you and now that I hear Jethro is back I presume you have some news for me. I'm almost afraid to hear what you have to tell me. Please don't tell me you're quitting and running off to sail with that old Marine of yours."
"Not quite. Paul, Jethro and I have a child. A son, born two days ago. That's one reason Jethro is here."
"Congratulations. That's wonderful. Now, go ahead and drop the other shoe."
Jethro looked at Jenny and knew it was time for him to speak up. He clicked off the speaker feature and turned away from the bed.
"Paul, it's not good news I'm afraid. Jenny has cancer. It's bad and there's nothing they can do for her."
"Dammit. You're sure I guess."
"Yeah. We wanted you to know before the news gets out to the rest of NCIS. I don't know what all we need to do about the job and leave and all that."
"Don't give that a thought. I'll have someone take care of all that. Once I have it figured out I'll come over and we'll talk about it. If that's okay."
"Absolutely. Paul, thank you for all your support to Jenny while I've been gone. It means a lot to me."
"Semper Fi, Gunny. Give Jenny my love and I'll see you guys next week sometime."
"Thanks Paul."
Jethro hung up the phone and turned back to Jenny taking her hand.
"Thank you Jethro. I simply couldn't say it again."
"It's okay. Now, Duck how about you get a picture of this sweet baby and his beautiful mom."
"And his handsome dad," added Jenny.
The three of them made a sweet picture and Ducky snapped a couple and then one of Matthew by himself.
"I will take these to the Navy Yard and show your team Jethro. I think I should talk to them in person so I can suggest they give you both some time before they descend. How much do you want me to tell them?"
Jethro and Jenny exchanged glances and Jenny shrugged. She held Matthew closer and concentrated on him. She was ready to turn over decision making to Jethro.
"Right now just tell them about the baby and that I'm home. We'll tell them the rest later. I think that should come from us. But, absolutely no visits until I say so."
Jethro felt like he was finally in charge again. It felt good to make decisions and to do some small thing to protect his family. He wanted them to have some time at home to get used to their situation before they started having visitors. He knew his team would want to see Jenny and the baby and he wanted that too, but not right away. The three of them needed some time to get settled.
"I couldn't agree more. Do you need anything done at home before you get there?"
"No, I called Noemi last week and she's been at the house getting everything ready."
"What about all the stuff babies need? Have you been able to get all that together?"
"Sweetheart I have had the most fun shopping online! You can get anything and everything online and have it delivered. I love it!"
"Oh geez. Well thank god for that and for Noemi. I guess."
Jenny and Ducky laughed and even Matthew smiled.
"Very well then I will take my leave. I will spread the word quietly among your team so expect to hear from Abby soon. I will absolutely forbid visits however."
"Thanks Duck. Tell her I'll let her know."
Ducky leaned down to kiss Matthew and his mother good bye.
"You three take care and I'll be in touch."
"I'll walk you out, Duck."
Jethro kissed Jenny and the baby and walked Ducky out to his car. The fresh air felt good but he wasn't really ready for January in DC after months in Baja.
"Jethro, whatever you need, whenever you need it just call me."
"I will. We need to get home and figure out what to do next. I can't believe all this Duck. I had so many questions but now most of them don't even matter. So may regrets but no time to indulge them now."
"You're right. Do not waste even one precious day on the past. Talking to Dr. Rodgers I'd say you have a few relatively good months yet so take advantage of that time and enjoy your family, Jethro. This is a cruel twist of fate but you will be alright if you lean on each other. Jenny is the strongest woman I've ever known. Let her help you as you help her."
"I'll try. I just want to hit something. I want to….hell I don't even know what I want."
"You're still in a state of shock. Jenny has had a few months to accept her fate. You don't have that but you have her. And Matthew. Just love them and let them love you and you'll be as close to okay as you can get under the circumstances."
"Yeah. I better get back, I'm freezing. Thank you Duck."
"You are welcome my friend. I'll check on you in a couple of days."
When Jethro returned a nurse was in the room getting a bottle ready for Matthew. He sat in the chair next to the bed and watched his son guzzle another bottle.
"Man he likes to eat. I just fed him before I came in here."
"Yes, he's a good eater. Like his daddy."
"I never thought I'd be called that again. I still can't believe we have a baby, Jen."
"I know but here he is. What a wonderful surprise."
"I'll say."
"Are you going to call Mike? Won't he wonder what's happening?"
"I'll call him tonight."
For the rest of the afternoon there was little talking and lots of cuddling and loving on their baby. Jethro fell asleep in the chair after Matthew went back to sleep and Jenny also fell asleep. After some no-so-great hospital dinner, Jenny convinced Jethro to go home and at least shower and change clothes.
"Everything is just where it was when you left. You need to get some rest. You look dead tired."
"I know. I just hate to leave you."
"Jethro, we can't be together every minute you know that. Yes, I want to be with you as much as possible but we can't smother each other. I'm okay. Especially here. Go on and go home. Call Mike. Take a shower and relax. Let Noemi cook for you. I swear I think she's missed you almost as much as I have."
"She loves me."
"Don't be so smug about it! Come on, kiss me and your son and go home for a while. We'll be right here whenever you come back."
Jethro sat on the bed and indulged himself in several long, passionate kisses with his wife. Then he picked up Matthew and gave him a kiss and told him he loved him.
Turning back to Jenny he said, "And I love you too. I'll be back after while."
"I'll be here. Hey, there's probably a phone charger that will work for your phone in my desk drawer."
"Okay."
After one more long, lingering kiss Jethro forced himself to go. He didn't get far down the hall before he was back. Jenny was smiling and holding up her car keys. She tossed them to him at the door.
"Thanks."
"Bye lover."
Jethro finally found Jenny's car after cursing himself for not having the sense to ask her where she'd parked. As he sat in the car waiting for it to warm up just a little bit he shook his head at all that had happened in the last day. Less than twenty-four hours ago he was on his way to San Diego with Ana. Now his life had taken another sudden and totally unforeseen turn and Jethro was reeling inside. The parade of emotions he'd experienced in the last twelve hours still threatened to overwhelm him. He knew he had to get himself together but he also knew that was not going to be easily accomplished. He would have to follow Ducky's advice and let Jenny help him while he tried to help her.
A hot shower and a hot, home cooked meal improved Jethro's attitude more than he thought it could. Noemi was more than happy to see him and it made Jethro feel good that she was there for him and Jenny. And Matthew. He quickly ascertained that she knew all about Jenny's condition and was heartbroken about it. Noemi had been taking care of Jenny since she was a young girl and the idea of "her" Jenny dying so young was terribly difficult for Noemi to accept. She assured Jethro that she had everything for the baby in the nursery and ready to go. She explained Jenny had hired someone to fix up one of the guest rooms as a nursery so when Jethro went upstairs to shower he went in to see what had been done. The room had been painted a nice blue-gray color and there was some minimal baby room furniture in there. There was no baby bed which Jethro was happy to see. That mean Jenny was waiting to see if he still had Kelly's crib which he did. He and his father had built the bed and he was anxious to retrieve it from his attic and get it ready for Matthew.
After he finished his meal and sent Noemi home, Jethro sat on the couch and promptly fell asleep. Two hours later he woke up and reached for the phone and called Jenny to see if she wanted anything from home.
"Did Noemi cook for you?"
"She had that chicken casserole I like already in the oven. Want me to bring you some?"
"Oh yes, please! I can't eat this food any longer."
"Okay, I'm going to call Mike then I'll be there. Anything else?"
"Just you."
"See you shortly."
Jethro had plugged in his phone as soon as he got home so it was charged and ready to go. As he went to the desk to get it and call Mike it chirped at him. Mike had beat him to the punch.
"Hey, Mike I was just about to call you."
"What's goin' on Probie? Jenny alright?"
"Not really."
Jethro told Mike the whole story.
"Damn Jethro, I'm sorry. Helluva thing to go home to."
"Yeah. Tell Ana for me will ya?"
"Sure. She called and told me you'd left and she'd bring the truck back. She's worried about you."
"I know. Jenny and I will be okay. We'll be home in a couple of days and then I guess we'll just live our lives the best we can. I don't really know what to expect Mike."
"I'm sure you don't. Just enjoy that baby and love your wife. That's all you can do. Let me know if there's anything I can do."
"I will. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for calling."
"Bye Jethro. Hang in there."
Jethro took Jenny some supper and while she ate he held Matthew and marveled at just how darn cute he was.
"We made a pretty cute little guy didn't we?"
"Yes, we did. I think he looks like his daddy. I hope he has your eyes."
"I hope he's as smart as his mom and not as stubborn as either of us."
Jenny laughed. She knew she would never tire of watching Jethro with their son. Despite the dark cloud hanging over them Jethro looked truly happy holding their baby.
"Jethro, I want to go home. Tomorrow."
"What's the doctor say?"
"He said two or three days yesterday. So, tomorrow will be two days and I want to go home. I don't need nursing care so I can go home. Noemi will be there to help and you're there. I need to be at home. Matthew needs to be home too."
"Okay. Tomorrow it is then. I'll make it happen."
"You will?"
"Of course. Like you said, no reason to stay here."
The next morning over only mild disagreement from Dr. Rodgers, the Gibbs family went home. Jethro had gone home very early to retrieve and install the car seat for the baby so as soon as everything was signed he whisked his wife and son out of the hospital and safely home. Jenny was still weak from the birth and her illness but being home was far better than lying around in a hospital even for one more day. Noemi met them at the door and took the baby so Jethro could help Jenny up the stairs. Despite her protests Jethro simply swept her into his arms and carried her to their bedroom. He was amazed at how much weight she seemed to have lost but wisely made no comment. He put her down beside the bed and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
"Hold me please."
"Of course."
Jenny leaned into him and let his strength envelope her and seep into her soul. She had been strong on her own for so long and kept so much of her fear and anxiety hidden but now that she was back in Jethro's arms she let it all go. She began to sob and Jethro simply held on tighter, careful not to hurt her but letting her know she was safe. He caressed her back and kissed her hair as she clung to him like the lifeline he was.
"I've got you, Jen. Let it go, let it all out. You're safe now and I'm not ever leaving you. You're not alone anymore. I love you."
Finally, Jenny drew a halting breath and Jethro felt her relax in his arms. He carefully moved them back until Jenny sat on the side of the bed and he sat beside her. She leaned into him and he continued to hold her. After a few minutes, Noemi quietly knocked on the door and Jethro went to let her in. She handed Matthew to him and went over to Jenny, sitting beside her and putting her arm around her.
"He is so beautiful! You did good, my Jenny."
"Thank you Noemi. He is wonderful isn't he?"
"Oh yes. He looks like his daddy I think. What is his name?"
"Matthew Donald. And yes, he does look like his daddy. Thank you for all your help and for being here today."
"I will always be here you know that. Whatever you need you tell me. Everything is just as you said in the nursery and in here. Formula and diapers here and in the nursery and downstairs too."
"Perfect."
"You rest and enjoy the baby and I will be downstairs."
"Thank you."
Jethro thanked Noemi and she went out shutting the door behind her. Jenny settled back, resting against the headboard and Jethro put Matthew on the bed. He unwrapped his blanket and undressed him and gave him to Jenny who had opened her shirt to hold him against her chest. Matthew wriggled around and got himself situated, sighed and fell asleep. Jethro just sat and watched. Nothing was said because there were no words to express what either of them were thinking.
TBC