Okay so this is chapter 10 and it is taken from Sam's POV he is writting in his journal and being alone starts to get to him. Hope you all like it.

Nana56: I got your message and I responded twice but I don't think you got my e-mails. So this is the next best thing. No, I don't have a beta and yes I would love for you to be my beta. Since I don't want to put my e-mail out like this just got to supernatural.tv (I think I saw you there R&R the story Turn your back) just PM me and I will send you the next chapter.

Chapter 10---Demons and Nightmares

May 4, 2006

Today was my first day in solitary and now I know why they use it as punishment. I've been in here for about 3 hours and man am I bored. I read one of the books Dean gave me Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, of course he would give me that book, maybe I should have kept the Playboy, man I'm bored. There is no TV, no going to the library, and no one to talk to. That is the worst part I don't know how long I will last in here it's only been 3 hours and I'm already going nuts how am I going to last 2 weeks. Maybe I will get some sleep.

I got some sleep I had a nightmare not the one about Jess it felt like it but it wasn't. I was in my apartment, that damn apartment I can never escape it, I'm lying on my bed and I feel a drop on my head, I jerk, than another drop, another jerk, than I open my eyes, I don't want to open them I know what I will see but I can't control my eyes it's as if someone else opens them. But here is where it changes…….god help me….it isn't Jess it's Dean, he's on the ceiling, he has a gash on his chest he's in so much pain, blood starts to drip from his mouth than he says….oh god help me…..he says "Dad, please don't let it kill me" than he bursts into flames just like Jess. Why….why does Dean say that? What if this is some sort of premonition? What if Dad can save Dean's life and he doesn't…..No I refuse to believe that, Dad would never hurt Dean or let someone else.

I have to go they are serving lunch now.

May 6, 2006

The doctor came today, why would they let me out to go to the doctor it is more enjoyable for them to leave me here, to torture me, to slowly watch me loose my mind. I wonder how others have survived being in this cell with no one to talk to, counting the seconds till the minutes ends, than counting the minutes till the hour is over, the endless days, the stuffy air, I can't breath in here. I have began to pace I have to just so I won't sit all the time, to look at the barren brick walls, I have to do so

mething to keep my mind busy.

Man my shoulder is just killing me, my stomach and side are black and blue, and the gash on my head is huge. I'm lucky I got out of that fight alive. The doctor said my shoulder is looking good and in a few days he will let my arm out of this stupid sling, I am so tired of this sling. It's been about 3 weeks since I got shot and every time it starts to heal something happens. He also said there is no after effect of the concussion and I am doing well, maybe I should ask him about my nightmares that would go well, hey doc I keep having nightmares of my brother dying a horrible death at the hands of the demon. Ha! I can see that prick's face when I say that. I started on The Tale of Two Cities, it's the second time around, half-way done what am I going to do when I'm done? Maybe I will get some sleep, I am seriously lacking in the sleep department more than usual.

May 9, 2006

This morning when the guard brought the food something happened, I froze when I saw it, I can't believe I am in here, what was I thinking, actually I know what I was thinking, but it must have been the drugs they gave me after my surgery, but I definitely wasn't thinking straight otherwise I would never have plead guilty to a crime I never did. The guard gave me the food and when I looked up he had black eyes, damn it he is possessed. Son of bitch! How could I have been so stupid I should have know he would come after me in here, he's been after me for 22 years what make this any different? I am a sitting duck in here, but I won't go quietly I won't let that murdering bastard take me. He killed Jess, he killed my mother, he ruined dad and Dean's life, no, I won't let him manipulate me, I am strong there is no way in hell I will let that yellow eyed bastard control me I will die first.

May 10, 2006

6 days, it's been 6 days in this cell, it's small, cramped, the toilet smells, and it is a little chilly in here. It must be the a/c, the smell of sulphur is almost constant, his eyes are always black, and he made a comment "Did you get away from your dad?" I tried my best not to show any emotions. How the hell did he know about my dream? My dreams, dreams are suppose to be a gateway to the subconscious mind, it's a world that could never exist in the real world but my dreams do exist in the real world, it wouldn't be so bad if the dreams where about anything but death. But that is what I see, death, why? I have asked myself this question so many times it has become tiresome and I feel psychically and emotionally weakened by this question, part of me doesn't want to know the answer, maybe there is no answer maybe this is just who I am. A freak, abnormal, and will never be anything but a freak.

Dad chases me, that's what the dreams are about, I am running at first I don't know who is chasing me I look back, I keep looking back, there is no one there, but than it's my dad, he has yellow eyes, he has demon eyes. I can't escape him, I want to help my father but if I stop running he will catch me. Funny isn't it, if I stop to help my father I risk falling into the demon's hands, but if I keep running I save myself. Oh god I just had an unsettling thought what if this is a premonition? Usually they are vivid it's as if I am there with the person in my nightmare and I am helpless, these are a bit more surreal. Maybe I am just afraid, afraid of what will happen in the future if we don't kill that son of bitch, but than if it is just a dream how did the demon guard know about it? I wish I could call Dean and tell him what I dreamt about than maybe I could warn him but I can't.

May 12, 2006

I can't sleep, I haven't slept in two days, why can't I sleep, why is he after me, why the hell did I do this….I hate myself….I keep seeing fire, I close my eyes and I see fire, I see the demon eyes they follow me, they watch me, god help me, now I hear him in my head…..demon guard keeps coming taunting me….he says he will kill my family …..oh god I can hear the demon's voice he won't leave me alone….I am so tired, but I can't sleep, I can't close my eyes, I want to, but every time I do I see Dean's death I see my father possessed, I can't close them I just lie here in hell…. Jess I need you, I need you Dean….but it doesn't matter I am alone, it is what he wants to have me alone to manipulate me…..to turn me into a killer like Max, but I won't I can't.

May 13, 2006

I finally got some sleep but I had another nightmare, I must be cursed, Dean just keeps begging dad to save him…maybe he wants me to believe dad wouldn't save Dean….but I know better I know he would never let his own son die just so he could get revenge. He wasn't the best dad when we where growing up but he did love us, I know he did, he proved it at court….he proved it…he wouldn't allow revenge to cloud his judgement this much….would he? How could I question this man's love for us, I knew my whole life he loved me, and now I know he was proud of me too….he would never allow Dean to die….never.

May 14, 2006

I stopped eating I can't eat food a possessed guard has given me, I didn't get any sleep last night either….he keeps taunting me, he says he will kill my family….he even goes into details…..son of bitch he is lucky I don't have dad's journal otherwise his ass would have been sent to hell a long time ago.

May 15, 2006

I am going to kill the guard I don't know how but I will the son of a bitch demon and his damn evil black eyes why don't they get another guard. It's been 10 days, 10 days of being in hell, no one around me, no one to talk to, of hearing that bastard talking to me, of those stupid nightmares, I have 4 more days, I will survive being in here, and when I get out I will have to ask Dean for the exorcism ritual, he will freak when I tell him there is a demon guard here but I have to do it….there is a human being in there, he has a family, a life, and I can't let a demon destroy him to get to me.

May 16, 2006

I still have the salt dad gave me I blew it into the face of the guard and demon screamed in pain. Which is good but the warden heard about it and he is PO'd he gave me 2 more days. He gave me a look like he thought I was crazy….yeah whatever asshole if he only knew what was out there, what his guard really is he wouldn't be giving me that look. He said he wants me to see a psychologist when I get out, he said right away and that it is mandatory, great just what I need a shrink to tell me I am crazy and shoot me full of drugs. They took my salt the demon guard smiled when they took it, but I hid some under my bed, I still have some protection.

May 18, 2006

Last day, goodbye hellhole.

Hope you all like it please R&R