Fun with Mirrors
Chapter 10
Note: This contains spoilers, and if you haven't played the game, you won't know what I'm talking about.
It was a while before Zelda did wake up.
By that time, Ilia had shown off her 'evil' dress to everybody in town.
"Hey, I wore that for dress up day last year!" Bo said.
"That reminds me of the grim reaper," Beth said.
"How do you spell, 'Link absolutely obliterating everything in sight'?" Malo said. "I'm still trying to write that story."
"Maybe I could proof read!" Ilia said.
Out of Link's hut stepped an angry looking Zelda.
"Hey, Zelda! I did the things on the list you gave me. I completed them all. Including the one where I have to knock out someone!" Ilia said, enthusiastically.
"I will destroy you all!" Zelda said, running after Link.
"AAAH!" Link said, darting for the water.
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" Zelda said, pulling out a sword.
Link jumped onto Epona, who was dead.
"Giddy up, girl!" Link said, whacking Epona's side.
Link drifted into the water, using Epona as a raft.
"NUUUEZ!" Zelda said.
Zelda then stood on Colin's dead body and used it as a raft.
"AUGH!" Link screamed, paddling fasted.
Link floated around the end part of the stream, and it was a dead end.
"I've got you!" Zelda laughed.
Link pulled out his sword and slashed at Zelda, who was now next to him.
Zelda dodged, and attempted to stab Link with her sword.
As Zelda lunged forward, Link climbed onto Zelda's back, and kicked her into the water.
"Kewl, Link! I want to be able to do that!" Collin said, not realising that he was supposed to have been stood on by Link.
For the sake of plot continuity, Collin fell into a plot hole.
"Kewl, Link! I want to be able to do that!" Beth said.
"Well, if I teach you, I-" Link said, cut off.
Zelda had kicked him in the shin.
"Ow, that hurts!" Link said, rubbing his shin.
"Now, I will destroy you!" Zelda said.
Link dodged a swing of the sword by Zelda, and then shot an arrow in the air.
"What was that supposed to do?" Zelda asked, raising her sword.
Suddenly, a dead monkey landed on Zelda, making her fall into an untimely placed whirlpool.
Link hopped off Collin's dead body, and swam to the shore.
Everyone clapped and cheered.
Later…
Zelda had ended up at the Upper Zora's River outside Hena's fishing hole, and so had Ilia.
"You must kill him like I ordered!" Zelda screamed.
"I must? Oh, you could've said that at the start. Anyway, it was threat, and then laugh, and then stab, right?" Ilia asked.
"FORGET THE TALKING! JUST KILL HIM!" Zelda screamed.
"Did you say to kill Link!?" Hena gasped, running out of her house.
"Did you say my afro was too small!?" Iza screamed, capsizing a boat she was in.
"Yeah, I want Link dead because he's evil!" Zelda said.
"Yeah, and also, your afro tastes like ginger beer," Ilia said, sneering.
Iza stared blankly at Ilia.
"It will take time to get used to this 'evil' thing, right?" Ilia asked.
"Anyway, I will protect Link!" Hena screamed.
"Why!? He's the worst guy ever!" Zelda said.
"Because he rode in my flirty boat of flirt-ish-ness, and that declares him officially my boyfriend!" Hena said.
"We will fight to the death!" Zelda challenged, pulling out a sword.
Hena pushed Zelda into the water.
"Wow, I never knew you could float," Hena said, giggling.
All the Zoras in the area laughed.
"I will destroy you, Zoras!" Zelda screamed.
"With what? A sword?" laughed a Zora.
"Yes," Zelda said.
Crickets chirped.
"Anyway…" Zelda said, scowling at the Zoras, "We will fight to the death!"
"Sorry, but I need to work," Hena said.
"Well, you must watch me kill these Zoras!" Zelda laughed at the thought of the painful punishment.
"That's fine. They were stealing my fish, anyway," Hena said.
"OMG! SHE KNOWS!" the Zoras screamed.
"Well, you are the only big consumers of fish, and the only other people who like fish are those stupid Ordonians," Hena said, as Bo sneakily stole some fish in the background. "And anyway, none of them bother to come here."
"Either way, I will keel joo all!" Zelda screamed.
Zelda dashed forward, but tripped over Ilia's foot and fell into the water.
"AUGH! AUGH! AUGH!" Zelda screamed, flailing her arms.
"Don't worry! I'll get you out!" Ilia said, jumping on Zelda.
"How is this supposed to help me!?" Zelda screamed, gasping for air.
"It isn't," Hena said.
Just then, Link came.
"Hey, Hena, can I ride in your flirty boat of flirt-ish-ness again?" Link asked.
"Sure. By the way, she wants to kill you," Hena said.
"She doesn't. She just hates me!" Link said, accidentally flicking a water bomb onto Zelda.
Moral of the story: Spending money results in you laughing at others' expenses.
The bomb blew up on Zelda, but due to the improbabilities of the game, she got a bruise.
"NUUUUUUEZ!" Zelda screamed, being sucked into a inconveniently place water spout.
"Hey, Zelda, it turns out your lawyer hates you!" Hena said, sounding remotely witty.
Zelda blinked, as she fell.
"Hey, Zelda, do you want to go somewhere fun?" Link asked, as Zelda fell.
"AAAAAAH!" Zelda screamed.
"Of course you do!" Link chuckled.
Zelda, strangely, was too flat on her face on the ground and unconscious to respond.
"Hm. That's interesting," Link said.
"Can we hide dead bodies in my bedroom again?" Ilia asked.
To be continued…