Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Radiohead. Or do I?

A/N: This is another one of my favorites from this band, just really soulful. This is an AU oneshot set in a strange Season 5 where Craig's father is still alive and Manny's not in the picture.

"Exit Music (For a Film)"; OK Computer

Craig ran off the stage, only gravity keeping him on the ground, the sensation of floating on air could only seem to describe the high he held. The band had nailed the performance, the smiling faces in the crowd had only acknowledged the effort. Surges of kinetic energy drove through him like he were on rails, blasting into the stratosphere, knowing that this was the beginning of everything. He looked over at his friends in the audience, and all he could do was smile in response. He had really done it, he had made it.

Jimmy came over, extending his hand. "Dude, that was amazing." He shook hands with Craig, a quick hug in between. "I mean, the new guitar player isn't better than me, but you did good, kid." He chuckled as Marco nudged him.

"He's right, though. You guys were incredible. I don't even feel bad now about you getting a new band together." He shrugged. "I mean, let's face it. I sucked." All three laughed as the new drummer patted Craig on the back. Marco smirked adding, "Now if you need an accordion on a few tracks, I could--"

"You'll be the first person I'll call, buddy." They all laughed again as Craig looked around to see the most important face of all. "Where's Ellie?"

Marco shrugged. "Don't know. She was right next to me one minute, the next..." He chuckled. "She'll show up." He started talking to the new bassist when Craig was tapped on the shoulder. He turned, hoping to find Ellie, but instead saw his manager, David.

"Hey kiddo. You did great up there. I mean, the crowd love you." He smiled like he was keeping a secret, which only made Craig nervous. "I have some big news." He searched through the crowd. "Everyone gather around." When a circle formed around him, he cleared his throat. "Okay, I have some pretty big new. Well... it's just big, huge even." He paused for dramatic effect, getting a few eye rolls. "The label wants you to be part of the lineup for the next week in Vancouver, maybe even a full roaster of gigs through the entire sumer. A real tour. We leave tomorrow night." He grabbed Craig on the shoulder. "This is really it, fellas."

Craig felt the wind get knocked out of him as everyone bunched up together into a group hug, collectively jumping with joy as the impact of the announcement took shape. They had landed a tour. Their manager has been trying to work with the record label for funding for a tour for months, trying to get the right amount of songs for a proper setlist. Due to lack of funds in recent months, it was scarce unless you had enough endorsements to pull of a large tour. The label's tour was their last chance, with that evening's performance at a showcase, pitting band against band in order to get a slot on the roaster, which would also be accompanied with their sister branch in the States. It was Craig's dream finally taking form. It wasn't until he saw Ellie near th back door, looking lost amongst the roadies that he knew it couldn't be real until he told her. Running to her, nearly out of breath from excitement, he beamed. "Where have you been?"

Ellie shrugged. "I'm here now, right?" She chuckled as she looked him over. "You guys sis great. You were really on tonight." She crossed her arms as Craig proceeded to look her up and down. "What? You're giving me the willies looking at me like that."

Craig snorted as he pulled her off to a more a quiet corner. He smiled down at her a moment before revealing, "We got the tour. We're going on tour starting next week... and even the whole summer."

Ellie threw her arms around Crag, smiling widely. "That's amazing!" She pulled away looking suddenly somber. "The whole summer?" She tried to disguise her disappointment, chuckling instead. "And so the rockstar emerges." She punched him in the arm when he picked her up again. "Put me down!"

Craig dropped her, laughing when she punched him in the arm again. They laughed some more until Craig looked at her wistfully. "Come with me."

Wake from your sleep,
the drying of your tears,
Today we escape, we escape.

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Um... can't. I still have classes and stuff. And..." She trailed off, not knowing what to follow it up with. "You haven't exactly gotten the tour yet, right?"

"Way to be optimistic, Nash." He dropped his shoulders, seemingly sullen for the first time that evening.

"I'm being realistic. And what about your Dad. You know he's not gonna let you drop out of school for this." Ellie laid a supportive hand on his shoulder when he shrugged it off.

"I'm an adult now. I'm eighteen. I can do whatever I want to do with my life and if than means dropping out of school and being a real musician, than fine." He could hear everyone still celebrating up front, unaware of the tension that stood between the two. "Look, I want this. I need this. And if my Dad can't except that, than whatever. It's not about him."

Ellie nodded silently, walking closer to him. They had been treading the thin line between friends and more for the past few months. They both knew how they felt about each other, it just never seemed to blossom, either Craig was caught up in his band or Ellie was too afraid. She leaned into him, feeling his strong arms wrap around her. As the tension seemed to melt away, she looked up at him smiling. "Would you give me some time to think about it?" She boldly planted a timid kiss on his cheek, leaning her head on his chest.

Craig held her closer, nodding. "We leave tomorrow night. But I'll need an answer before the gig next week." He pulled away slightly, kissing her back. "I can't so this without you."

Ellie felt the heat from her face radiate off the lights, trying to mask her blushing. "Okay." She moved in his embrace, both of them nervous of their new frontier.

Pack and get dressed
before your father hears us,
before all hell breaks loose.

Craig had packed his bags during the day while his father was at work. As he packed, he felt similar to when he was fourteen, packing his belongings to live with his stepfather, Joey. It felt like a lifetime ago, before his father had gotten help, before he could actually look at his father without shuddering. After two years of separation, he had moved back in with his father, having never laid a violent hand to him again. They had their arguments, but Albert Manning had always used his words, never striking his son. It was good to be with his father, but there was still the undercurrent of uncertainty, the ever-present notion that he could hurt him if her was pushed. He knew he was stronger now and could handle himself, but he was still aware that he was his father.

Ellie had been right to worry about his father's reaction. He was never supportive of his aspirations, constantly knocking them down in a pursuit to take his schooling more seriously, trying to persuade him into going away to university that next year. He allowed Craig to do the music if his grades were acceptable, but nothing would steer him from taking time away from school, especially if it meant him not finishing high school. Craig had struggled with the right words, the right argument to have when he announced that he would be leaving school for his dreams. He was petrified of the outcome if it went wrong, real abandonment. He had made his decision, and he wanted his father more than anything to accept it. He looked outside, seeing storm clouds graze over the sky. "Perfect."

Breathe, keep breathing,
don't lose your nerve.

Ellie had been worried all day during her classes. She had been nearly catatonic, passing through school without a word to anyone. She had been contemplative about Craig's offer, trying to decipher what the best way to turn him down would be. She couldn't just leave school, without the prospect of university, traveling around with a band, leaving her mother behind. It was illogical and nonsensical, yet she couldn't imagine braking his heart. She needed him to know she needed security. She never had much of that growing up, a father being taken from her constantly for the armed forces and a mother that wasn't stable in the least. It was her only way of truly staying sane, the knowledge of being in school next year. It was the middle of the final semester. Summer was three months away. She just needed time, she needed to finish her schooling. She only hoped he'd understand.

Marco materialized beside her in the hall next to her locket. "Where have you been all day?"

Ellie chuckled. "I've seen you in like three times today. What are you talking about?"

Marco scoffed. "You've been elsewhere." He nudge her, sliding down on the floor. She sat next to him, staying silent. "What've you been thinking?"

"Craig." She chuckled as Marco snorted. "I'm serious. He asked me to come with him on his tour."

"Seriously? That's amazing." His smile faded when Ellie gave him a grimace. "No so amazing?"

"Try inconvenient and impractical. I mean, I can't just take off like he can. I don't have a music career. I have to go to university next year. I can't drop out school for him." She leaned back, covering her face. "As much as I might want to." She could her the rain beating on the windows in the classroom nearby, wanting to run out in it, hoping she could fins a resolution. "This sucks."

Marco nodded. "Yup."

Breathe, keep breathing,
I can't do this alone.

Albert walked into the door, dropping his medical bag into the living room chair when he found Craig sitting on the couch. "Hey Craig." He looked around, seeming confused. "I thought you be out. It's Friday night."

Craig shook his head. "Actually Dad... I need to talk to you." He stood up, not sure how to start the conversation.

Albert walked closer, nodding. "Okay, what's going on? He took off his jacket, turning to find a few duffel bags hidden in the corner. "What are those?"

Craig followed his eye line, inwardly kicking himself. "Um... the band got another gig. A huge gig."

Albert rolled his eyes. "Craig, we've discussed this--"

"Dad, hear me out." Craig put some distance between the two of them, aware of his temper, but tried to hold some composure. "Look, the band has been offered the chance of a lifetime, to be featured in a real tour, with real musicians. So many people would kill to be in this situation. I'm only asking to be given the chance."

Albert shook his head. "No. Absolutely not. You can't throw your life away on some random dream, thinking that you'll be some rockstar or whatever. You have a future, and I'll be damned if you try to ruin that with this."

"What makes you think I'm going to be throwing it away? Have you ever considered that this is what I wan to do?! That this is my future!" Craig breathed deeply, ding his best to restrain his temper, tingles running up and down his spine. He could see his father's face redden from aggravation and he knew that one wrong step could send him reeling. "I want this to be my future. I'm an adult now, and this is what I want for my life."

"As long as you live under my roof, you'll abide by my rules." Albert shook his head, pacing in place. "Listen to me, Craig, I'm only going to say this once. You are not going on this tour or whatever if you want to continue calling his your home. I refuse to raise someone who dashes away from their potential." He walked to the wetbar in the corner, pouring himself a glass of scotch. After downing the glass, he looked back at his son. "I care about you, I love you. But this is ridiculous. You can't honestly think I'd allow you to do this, when you're three months shy of graduating and going off to university in the fall. It's ludicrous and it's not happening."

Craig watched as his father took another glass, wanting to break the glass in his hand. "Why can't you let me go?"

Albert sighed exasperatedly. "I already told you--"

"No, not just th tour, but everything. You think you own me, but you don't." Craig chuckled. "You never really owned me. I could walk out that door and you could do nothing about it." He walked closer to his father, smelling the liquor on his breath and finding him slightly less than the intimidating figure he had always been in his youth. "I've done it before."

Sing us a song,
a song to keep us warm,
there's such a chill, such a chill.

The next few moments happened rather quickly as Craig found himself on the ground, looking up as his father stood over him, preparing to kick him in his stomach. He rolled away, not being able to gain his bearings as he tried to comprehend what had happened. His father had hit him. He felt nauseous, the thought of being stricken and not stopping it made him feel more weak than he had since he was fourteen, hiding in his bedroom or his red room, desperate for the protection that seemed so far away. Having pushed his father over the edge like that made him even weaker. He gained enough strength to sit up, resting against the wall as he watched Albert Manning cover his mouth in horror. "Craig... I'm so sorry... Oh, my God, what have I done?"

"Just stay away from me." Craig pulled himself up, keeping his distance. He heard the storm clouds rumble outside, the raindrops attacking the windows like bullets, increasing as the tension in the room seemed to heighten. He could taste blood on his tongue, wanting to throw something at his father, but finding himself not able to stoop to his level. "I don't care what you think, not anymore. I'm gone." Grabbing his bags swiftly, he past through the foyer and opened the front door. He could hear his father bumping into furniture, trying to reach him before he left, but without looking back, he made his way down the driveway towards his car.

He sat in his car for a few moments, trying to process what had just happened. He had really left home, left his father, again. He was not going to his stepfather's house or Children's Aide. He was going to be on his own, truly for the first time in his life. He quivered at the notion of leaving everything behind, everyone behind for his dreams. He knew that his father could come out any minute, begging hims to reconsider, but he couldn't give in. He needed to do this for himself. He needed to go after his dreams, if only because it's all her had left. Suddenly finding purpose, he hit the accelerator, making his way to the only other thing that was as important as his future.

And you can laugh a spineless laugh,

Ellie looked out he window, tugging at her necklace as the poring rain didn't seem to let up. She hadn't heard from Craig all day and she was beginning to worry, hoping everything had turned alright with his father. She had figured that it might have been a scene, but she needed some reassurance. She reached for her cellphone to send him another text message when she noticed a car pulling in front of her house. Recognizing Craig's Mustang immediately, she sighed with relief as she rushed down the stairs, passing her mother through the kitchen and running into the thunderstorm. She halted when she watched Craig get out of the car with a swollen lip. "What the hell happened?" She walked slowly to him, reaching out tentatively to touch it. "Did he... hit you?" She tried to see his face, but the oncoming rain only made it more difficult. She froze however when his their eyes locked, looking into his frozen blue eyes. "Craig, tell me what happened."

Craig took her hand, pulling her into the car. As they situated themselves, they remained silent. It took a moment for him to face her again. "I left home." He turned again, looking out the window.

"That doesn't explain why he hit you." Ellie pulled on his arm, forcing him to look at her. She noticed the backseat filled with duffel bags and his guitar. He really had left home. "Did you all have an argument? Did you hit him first? Tell me!"

"He hit me because that's all he knows how to do, okay?!" He steamed, grabbing the steering wheel for support. He turned suddenly to Ellie, measuring her up. "Have you made a decision yet?"

we hope your rules and wisdom choke you

Ellie inhaled sharply, trying to stagger her breathing. "You told me I had time."

"Look, are you coming or not? I don't have time for your bullshit, alright?" He drummed on the wheel than, determined to keep his temper in check. "So, are you in or out?"

Ellie crossed her arms, leaning further away. "With an attitude like that, I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Look at me, Ellie! I just got punched in the face for following something that might never even work out! I left home, do realize that?!" He grabbed the wheel again, his knuckles turning white as his fingertips were a harsh pink. He exhaled again, noticing Ellie inching closer to the door and realizing he wasn't doing a good job of making her stay. "Look, I'm sorry. Just... a lot of shit went down earlier. I've left my father and I can't go back. University... high school.. I can't look back. He's not going to pay for me if I fail. I know he won't. He's practically disowned me and there's no way in hell I'll go crawling back if I had to." He sighed again, reaching out to take Ellie's hand. As she laid it gently in his, he grasped it. "I need you... I love you, Ellie." He made eye contact again with her and smiled. "None of this would be worth it if you weren't there beside me. So... are you coming?"

Ellie watched the transformation of Craig before her eyes, his silence, his rage and finally the part she loved most about him, his vulnerability. She had wanted to crawl into his arms than and forget about the world outside the four doors surrounding them. She wanted to escape the storm and find the rainbow on the other side. She wanted to be in that moment forever, but as the magic and weight of his words seemed to fade away, only leaving the reality of the situation, Ellie looked at him once again. "I love you so much." She sniffled as she took back her hand, feeling the heat leave almost instantly. "Craig..." A single tear fell from her eye, wiping it hastily. "I can't."

There was a sharp silence, until Craig looked ahead again at the pouring rain, deleting his past. "Get out." It was an order and Ellie knew it was. She knew she had shattered whatever they had by rejecting him. She wanted to yell at him, making her choose than, giving her an ultimatum. It wasn't fair and he should have realized that. She crossed her arms, refusing to leave until he realized what he was asking of her. But he looked at her again, any shred of kindness was stripped from his body as he addressed her like a stranger. "Get out."

Ellie choked back a sob as she pushed open the door. She turned around, slamming the door. "This isn't fair, Craig!" She tried to yell over the rain, but it only seemed to drown her voice, along with any happiness they might have once shared. "You can't make me choose now!" But her effort was pointless as he revved back down the driveway and raced down the street too quickly in the storm. She ran after him, not knowing why. Maybe if she caught him, maybe if he saw her face, maybe if he knew she still cared he might have stopped and reconsidered. But he continued to drive away and after half a block, Ellie stopped, trembling as the rain continued to fall, washing her hope away.

Craig sped down the street, cursing under his breath at the stunt he had just pulled. "What the fuck am I doing?" He had just left home and now he had thrown away the only relationship he ever held dear to him, a girl that would have stood beside him if he had given her a chance. He knew he wasn't being fair, but he needed to know if she could be there now, when he needed her the most. Asking so much of her in that moment was cruel and he couldn't imagine not being with her a moment longer.

He turned in his seat, trying to find his cellphone. He had misplaced it earlier that day, thinking he had left it in the car. Finding it under his seat, he noticed that his inbox was full, seeing seven new text messages from Ellie. He scrolled through them, each one more panicked than the next. "She really does care." He was driving steadily faster as he approached a bridge. He had tried to make a u-turn, not wanting to cross it, but before he could make a left hand turn, the light turned green. He thought he could turn around the next block over so as he crossed the bridge, the car in front of him seemed to be hydroplaning, causing Craig to hit the brakes. But as he continued to hit them, they didn't seem to stick, making the car swerve, sending him flying and through the barrier into the river.

And now we are one
in everlasting peace,

Hours had passed, as Ellie paced in her bedroom. She had called Craig twelve times, figuring that once he had cooled off, he would call her in the morning. She looked out the window periodically, hoping for a glimpse of red pulling in her driveway, a small part of her thinking he would just show up. She wanted to tell him that she changed her mind, that she would have said yes, to the tour and to them. She loved him so much and it killed her that he might not think that, thinking that she was too afraid. She wasn't scared, she wanted to take the leap to him. She just needed another to make it right. As she dialed his number for the thirteenth time, she only hoped that he would give it to her.

we hope that you choke, that you choke,

It was nightfall. The stars had peaked out behind the dissipating storm clouds as Albert Manning approached the riverbank. It was swarmed with ambulances and police cars. He had even noticed the sheriff deputy's vehicle as he made his way toward the crowd. He didn't know what he expected to see when he moved through, pushing people aside to what lied ahead. His thoughts drifted back to the phone he had gotten only fifteen minutes before. From the tone the police officer who had found Craig's wallet sounded, he knew it was grave. He dealt with death everyday in some way, either at his own hands or the hand of others. He knew that tone, having used it methodically for the past 17 years. But never had he ever wished to be on the receiving end of those words that he had heard before only once and feared to hear them again.

we hope that you choke, that you choke,

Albert walked to the nearest officer he could find, seeing a machine craning an object from the water. He recognized the tail fin of Craig's car instantly, feeling his knees weaken. "That's my son's car!" Without warning, he found himself on the ground, no recollection as to how he had moved so quickly. He pulled his knees to his chin, shaking as a few paramedics came rushing to the fallen man. As onlookers whispered the events, Albert felt the need to vomit. He couldn't fin the strength to breathe or think. He couldn't concentrate on the people wrapping him in blanket or trying to attach him with a oxygen tank. He needed to know if his son was alive or dead. "Where's my son?"

A female police officer materialized beside him, taking his shoulder. "Mr. Manning, I'm so sorry, but--" The rest of it faded as Albert seemed to lost track of consciousness. He could hear himself breathing, in and out, in and out, knowing his son couldn't so the same thing. He shook his head, but nothing he could do seemed to change the circumstances. Losing himself to his own sorrow, Albert Manning cried for the first time since his son left him for years ago, only this time, he was never coming back.

we hope that you choke, that you choke...

And that's it. I know, this was by no means an uplifting oneshot. And it wasn't meant to be, it's not an uplifting song. Don't worry kiddies, I have plenty of Crellie fluff coming.

More to come. --- MrsBigTuna