Chapter 10

The Journey Home

Author's Note: Okay so Chapter 9 I posted on Friday but apparently Fan Fiction didn't take it. So I hope you enjoy the new direction of the story. I guess you lucky ducks get two chapters in one day =) Happy Monday, I hope this makes it a little more bearable.

Do you know that moment when you first wake up and just for a second and everything seems okay before reality comes crashing back to you? That was me. I'm nestled warm in my bed, Katniss's arms wrapped protectively around me, the sun shining in the window and the train with its gentle rocking motion attempting to lure me back into sleep. Then the events of last night come reaching through the fog and attempt to strangle me.

"Peeta?" Katniss asks her voice thick with sleep. "Are you okay?"

I'm about to open my mouth to respond when I feel an overwhelming sense of nausea and struggle to free myself from the blankets and make it to the bathroom. I nearly fall next to the toilet but at least I managed to throw up in it and not make a mess like Haymitch always seems to. I throw up everything in my system but I can't stop dry heaving. I'm leaning heavily against the commode when I feel a cool wash cloth dab my forehead and around my mouth. Katniss rinses it out again in the sink and then lays it on my neck.

"Any better?" She asks her eyes somewhat hopeful.

I hate to disappoint her so I shrug and say "sure". I don't know if she believed me or not, her eyes flick over my sad form and I think I may have failed the inspection.

"You want to get back in the bed?"

I nod my head and try and get off the floor but I'm so weak that Katniss has to use most of her body weight to heave me to my feet. I place my hand on the sink to steady myself because my sudden upright position has made me light headed. Slowly like an old man she leads me back to bed and tucks me under the covers. She comes back to the bedside with a glass of water. "Small sips, "she says as she leans the glass to my mouth.

I take a small sip before my head is too much to hold up. "Thanks," I murmur.

"I'm going to go for a minute; I'll be right back okay? Don't move a muscle." She tries to smile at me.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to." I try to offer her a bit of humor but I see her lips start to tremble.

"Can I get you anything?" She asks as she's part of the way out the door.

I shake my head and try to stop fighting the exhaustion that's pulling me back under. What the hell did they do to me?

I dream of one horror after another, capital mutts, careers, Katniss dancing with Gale, me dying slowly at my home in Victor Village all alone. I dream about being on frozen tundra where I can't get warm. I walk and walk but can't find any shelter against the biting wind. I moan in my sleep and start become aware of reality again. I'm no warmer in reality than I was in the tundra though. I'm shivering and my body is covered a thin sheen of sweat. I see that someone has piled more blankets on me in attempt to ease my chill but they don't seem to have helped. I pick up on hushed voices just outside the door.

"He's been sleeping a long time; we'll be back to twelve by morning for our welcome back celebration." I hear Katniss offer in hushed tones.

"Whatever the capital injected him with is definitely some sort of poison. Maybe this is good that he's reacting this way, it might mean his body is trying to reject and dispel it rather than absorb it." I hear Haymitch whisper back.

"We obviously can't let people find out about this, I'm sure if we paraded him around in this condition it would only infuriate Snow even more so how are we going to handle this?" Katniss voices a little louder.

"Well for now let him recover. Then we go home to prep before our festivities in the square later, I'll have a word with your mother. We might be able to come up with some sort of sedative that might help counteract the poison's effects. Though odds are you won't want to use it unless absolutely necessary or he's liable to fall asleep in the middle of dinner." Haymitch says as they enter my room. I glance at Haymitch before my eyes make their way to Katniss. Her eyes are stormy and rimmed in red, her face puffy. She looks like an absolute mess and I wonder if she's been crying the entire time I've been asleep.

"Hi," I offer but it comes out more of a croak. Haymitch picks up the glass of water to give me a sip. I pull myself up into a sitting position and start rubbing the crick I have in my neck. "How long have I been sleeping?" I can't help but yawn.

"All day, it's nearly dinner." Haymitch answers. "You feel up for some food?"

Food sounds anything but appetizing but I know I need to eat if I ever want to get my strength up and get out of this bed.

"Sure, I could eat little." The words are barely out of my mouth before Katniss heads for the door.

"Good, I'll go and fetch you some, I'll be right back." And with that she's gone. I cast a questioning glance to Haymitch.

"She needs something to do." He says, "She's been driving herself nuts just sitting next to you just watching you sleep, she never was patient. " After a brief pause he sighs and says "She blames herself for this kid."

I nod because I know Katniss and I knew she would make this out to be her fault. "I figured she'd do that."

"In a way I guess it's my fault more than anything." Haymitch says and he looks anguished. "If I had just let her tell you the truth about everything or even if I had told you myself you'd have never..." He's unable to finish and I'm shocked that he's fighting back tears.

"Hey it's alright, what's done is done. You thought you were doing the right thing, you didn't ask for this to happen. This is Snow. I don't want to hear you or Katniss say anything different. And I'm not dead yet you two act like you're in mourning."

Haymitch offers a little chuckle at that. "Sit up, let's fix your pillows." He fluffs the pillows and repositions them.

"What are you my nurse maid now?" I ask with a grin.

"Don't push it." He answers back with no real bite.

I'm happy that we seem to have slipped back into our more comfortable routine and he's quit treating me like a person knocking on death's door. I'm just settling back in to my pillows when Katniss returns with a tray with an array of food. She sets it down gently on my lap.

"Try the soup first, small bites, and let's see if you can keep it down before moving onto something heavier, okay?" She perches on the side of the bed. I take few small sips and the soup is warm and flavorful. She places the back of her hand to my face and to my head. "Jesus Peeta you feel like you just stepped out of a furnace."

I can't help but smile at the feeling of déjà vu I'm feeling. "I feel cold though."

"What's so funny?" She asks, I think she fears that I'm going round the bend.

"Doesn't this situation seem familiar to you?" I ask with some mirth.

She thinks for a minute before suppressing a smile. "Yea I guess it does. I'm always taking care of you Mellark."

"That's the way I like it." I joke, but inside I feel like I'm dying. I should be the one taking care of her. I feel like such an invalid, a poor excuse of a man.

I try to take small bites of soup and I'm surprised when I manage to empty the bowl. I slowly nibble on crackers and so far I seem to manage to keep it all down. I'm happy for the company and I just listen to Haymitch and Katniss banter back and forth.

When I'm done with the food Katniss sets the tray aside and settles down on my other side. "Okay now we've got to discuss what's coming up in twelve." Haymitch starts. I'm not sure when he became such a responsible chaperone or leader but I'm willing to let him handle things for a while.

"Okay, so what have you two come up with?" I ask looking from him to her.

"Well," Katniss starts off slowly. "Nothing much so far. We were trying to just see how you felt when you woke up. "

I nod in approval before Haymitch continues. "We'll need to keep up appearances that all is well with you Peeta. We don't want word getting back to Snow that you were any less than perfect, otherwise there is no telling what he might do."

"Okay. I think I'll be able to handle it." I offer.

"You can't let yourself get excited no matter what." Katniss exclaims. "No running, no dancing, and be careful we can't risk you getting hurt because that might do the same thing." She continues on unable to make eye contact with me.

"What will people say if I'm not dancing?" I ask.

"We'll tell them that your leg is a little sore from all the dancing in the district and you're under doctor's orders to give it a rest." Haymitch decides. It's rather a stroke of genius if I do say so myself.

"Okay, now that we've figured out that mess, what are we doing long term?" I ask.

"Long term?" Katniss asks.

"I mean outside of tomorrow what's the plan?"

"The plan is, we have no plan." Haymitch sighs into his hands. "We're going to have to take this one step at a time and we're going to have to be careful with how we proceed. We don't want anyone else getting hurt."

I shiver both from the fever raging through me and from fear. I can't stand the thought of anyone else coming to harm for this. "I understand."

"Peeta how can you possibly be cold? Really! You are making me sweat!" Katniss scolds in attempt to lighten the heavy mood of the room.

Haymitch stands and heads hastily to the door, "Be right back."

I look at Katniss who just shrugs. "Maybe he needs a drink; I don't think he's had more than a taste since last night." I feel drowsy after getting something in my stomach and I wrap myself around Katniss trying to warm myself so that I can sleep but the shivering is wracking through my body in deep uncontrollable shudders. My teeth are even chattering.

"This is is is ri- ri- ridiculous," I chatter out.

Katniss rubs her hand up and down my arm attempting to rub some warmth back into me. "Shh…" she sooths.

Haymitch bounds back into the room proudly but he carries not a bottle of liquor but a bottle of pills.

"I told Effie you had a fever and you'd come down with something. She offered me these!" He says in delight. He tosses the bottle towards me but I can't really read or catch the bottle with my shaking so Katniss picks them up off the bed where they've landed.

"What are they?" She asks somewhat wearily.
"They are pills that help with fever, pain, headaches or what not." Haymitch smiles. "They might just help bring down that fever and help a bit with the aches. It's not a permanent solution but it might help get us through for a few days."

Katniss plops two round pills into her palm and closes the bottle. She stands and places it on the nightstand and then retrieves my water. "Open," She commands and I obey. She places the two pills on my tongue and then offers some water. "There, let's see if that helps."

She comes back around and snuggles in besides me. She puts her arms around me and I lay on her chest. She soothingly strokes my hair and rubs my arm intermittently and before I know it sleep seems to be pulling me under.

In my sleep deprived and sickly addled mind I whisper "I love you Katniss. Thanks for taking care of me" before I plunge into the darkness. It might have been wishful thinking or my imagination but I think she may have even whispered it back.