Disclaimer: This story is 100% alternate universe and most, if not all, of the characters in this story are out of character as well. Also I don't own anything by J.K. Rowling and I am not trying to steal her characters, plots, or moments within the books that she has written. This is my own story and I also claim to not copy off of anyone else's work either in the process.

What Happened Previously: After learning about the troll getting in the school, Neville convinces Harry to look for Hermione with him. The boys find her, but run into the troll. Harry receives all the credit for defeating the troll, even though he didn't do anything. Later that night, Harry has a nightmare that seemed a little too real for his liking.

NOTE: Before I start, YES I do realize that the break-in of Gringotts happened much earlier than what I wrote, but who cares? I know it's not canon, but neither is my story. I know it happened in the official version of the story somewhere in July/August probably, but I wanted it here. If you don't like it, find a way to deal with it.

Chapter 10: A Vicious Dog, A Stupid Stone, and A Lot Of Christmas Bullshit

Two months had passed since Halloween night and since that time there wasn't anything dangerous, life threatening, interesting, or weird going on at Hogwarts. Oh except for the fact that Harry, Ron and Hermione accidentally ran into the massive three headed dog by going into a wrong classroom on the third floor one day, there was a massive break-in at Gringotts Bank, Hagrid revealed to them that the Sorcerer's Stone exists thanks to his stupidity, also Harry got an invisibility cloak and got to see the Mirror of Erised on Christmas day. But we are going way too far and way too fast for all that. Let's focus on the three headed dog encounter first, shall we?

It wasn't too long after Halloween before the trio met the damn dog. It was weird how all three Gryffindors ended up there. The trio were minding their own business when all of a sudden the kids felt as if they were compelled to explore the third floor. As if their feet were forcing them too, the kids turned around, walked down the stairs and stopped in front of the door. The door was opened by Ron and the kids went inside.

"Why are we exploring this room? Dumbledore said that this room was out of bounds and we would die a painful death if we went in!" Hermione shrieked.

"I don't know. But I've never wanted to go somewhere so badly in all my life." said Ron. Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Don't you both see? It's a spell." Ron and Hermione looked at Harry as if he had three heads.

"What do you mean, Harry?" The boy rolled his eyes again. He was getting really annoyed today.

"Why else would we want to explore this room, Ron? We never had any desire to go here before, and then out of nowhere we go back downstairs and open the door as if we were familiar with it." Harry explained. "I think Dumbledore is behind this. It seems like something the old bastard of a goat would do. He usually gives me that "creepy old grandpa with a dastardly agenda" vibe whenever he looks at me."

"Oh don't be silly, Harry. Dumbledore is the greatest wizard alive! He wouldn't force us to go here." Ron stated.

"I agree with Ron. Dumbledore is a great headmaster and he always follows the rules!" Hermione said.

"You want to know what I think? I think your lack of brain cell activity is finally starting to show, Ron. And you, Hermione, are completely fucking delusional. Dumbledore is nothing more than a manipulative old fucker who turns people into his pawns to do his bidding. If you two can't see that, then there's no hope for you at all. You're better off just getting down on your knees and sucking the crypt keeper magician's cobwebbed dirty dick. That way he can at least thank you for being a good little slave and you can go back to being blissfully unaware that he made you give him a blowjob." The other two Gryffindors were agape with their mouths open and eyes shockingly wide.

"Harry, I'm surprised. I never thought you would say something like that about Dumbledore." Harry had to almost do a double take just to make sure he heard that correctly. Was Hermione finally able to hear him? Does that mean Ron could too? There was only one way to find out.

"What do you mean, Hermione?" Out of the two, Harry was secretly hoping that Ron could hear him if Hermione couldn't. Maybe the little red haired fucker would even start yelling at him! Or at worst, his sensitive ears would explode from the NC-17 rated content that was coming out of his mouth. Harry quickly prepared him for the amount of joy he was about to feel in just a moment.

"Harry you can't go around saying Dumbledore is a great wizard alive without mentioning that he is also a wonderful teacher. It's just not formal for you to say what you said." Harry's mouth practically fell open ... then he closed it. His two fucks for friends STILL couldn't hear him. Maybe someday someone would hear the vile spew of acid that flowed from his mouth. Harry wouldn't be surprised if the only person who could hear him was Voldemort. If he ever did come back, the boy-who-lived would have to ask the Dark Lord if he had this power too.

"Yeah, Harry." Ron said. Harry glared at him.

"Is that all you can fucking contribute, Ron?" Harry was about to smack the redhead six ways to Sunday, but a loud growl disrupted his thoughts.

"RAWWWRRR!" The group looked around in the dark and discovered that a giant three headed dog had awoken from its slumber. Most likely from when the group was arguing. The growling grew to frightening levels as the two boys and one girl shrieked in terror. The kids quickly exited the room and were barely able to close the door as the dog was trying to chomp down on the humans in front of it.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?!" Ron screamed. No one was around, so the prefects didn't have to take away any points for Ron's foul mouthedness.

That's another thing that bothered Harry. Why was the rewarding and removal of house points such a big deal around here? So what if a house won the cup? Did the cup give the winners vast amounts of gold? No. Did the cup grant the winners all new brooms for themselves or the school? Not even close. What about an all expenses paid trip to Australia for everyone in the winning house who got points? Hell no. Okay well they could at least provide a magic weapon other than a wand for the highest point contributor right? Fuck no. This was a school and they wouldn't give anyone anything that good. The only thing the cup did, when the house won, was go to the head of house's office and was not seen again until the end of the next year. Harry had to wonder what the professors who won actually did with the cup. Did they use it as a vase? A trashcan? Keep the heads of Snape's victims inside? Harry had no idea, but if his house won, he would find out what McGonagall did with it. Maybe she kept her transfigured cats in there.

"Language, Ron!" Harry exclaimed while trying very very hard to not laugh his ass off. He wasn't doing it to scold his friend, but rather to make him feel like an idiot. Potter thought Granger was going to do it first, and so he used that time to beat her.

"Well said, Harry." Hermione said. Harry didn't say or do anything.

"Sorry guys." Ron stated. The trio started heading up to Gryffindor tower now that they were done exploring the third floor.

"Did either of you see what the dog was standing on?" Hermione asked.

"I wasn't looking at its feet! I was staring at its heads. Maybe you didn't notice, but there were THREE!"

"It was standing on a trap door, which means it wasn't there by accident. It's guarding something." Harry was actually interested in this. The portrait door swung open and the kids found their way into the common room.

"Guarding something?" He asked.

"That's right." Hermione continued with a huge feeling of smugness about her. "Now if you two don't mind, I'm off to bed before either one of you happen to come up with another clever idea to getting us killed, or worse expelled!" She turned away and headed up the girl's stairs.

"She needs to sort out her priorities." Ron muttered. Harry nodded. She really did need to get her priorities in order. That or get laid but that probably wasn't going to happen since she was eleven. Wait. No. She was twelve. She happened to have missed the acceptance letter last year and wasn't allowed to come, but somehow got in this year, which Harry found funny and humiliating.

The next day, Harry, Ron and Hermione were walking outside and they came across Hagrid. Hermione started asking the half giant about the three-headed dog that they saw last night, and the big man didn't like that.

"Who told you about Fluffy?" Harry snickered. Who names a three headed dog Fluffy?

"Fluffy?" Ron asked.

"That thing has a name?"

"Of course he has a name because he's mine! Dumbledore asked me to bring him so he could guard the …"

"Yes?" Harry asked. His curiosity was peaked again.

"I shouldn't have said that. No more questions! Don't ask any more questions! That's top secret that is!"

"But that's the whole point! I want to know some fucking secrets. Knowledge is power, Hagrid, and those too weak to seek it, become nothing. You would do well to learn this my very large fat friend." Harry said in response. No one heard him. If they did, then Hagrid would probably start blubbering after being called a "very large fat man".

"But Hagrid, whatever Fluffy is guarding, Snape is trying to steel it."

"Thass prepostrus, Ron. Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher and would never do something like that. It's dangerous anyway. What that dog is guarding is strictly between Dumbledore and Nicolas Flamel."

"Nicolas Flamel?" Hermione asked. Hagrid started walking away and kept muttering "I should not have said that" over and over again.

"Who's Nicolas Flamel?"

"I don't know, Hermione."

"What a surprise, Ron."

"Do you know anything, Harry?" The bushy haired girl asked.

"No, but I want to find out." That was the end of the conversation for the moment. Ron and Hermione decided later that night they would research Nicolas Flamel in the library the next day. Harry thought of a better way, but didn't tell either one of them. Since Ginny was pretty much his best friend at this point because all the letters they had written to each other, Harry would go ask her instead. She hadn't ever let him down before, so he knew she would come through for him this time too.

About a week later there was a report from the Daily Prophet about a break-in from Gringotts bank. Harry didn't care. Well he would have if someone had stolen his gold, but no one did. The kid next to Harry read aloud that vault 713 had been broken apart, but nothing was taken. The boy-who-lived realized that this was the very vault that he and Hagrid went to before going to his vault. Harry thought that by saying something it was going to put him into some sort of possible trouble. So he said nothing. That was the last interesting thing that happened in November.

Christmas came and went with nothing special happening. Ha. Yeah right. The day before winter break started, Hermione found out that the Sorcerer's Stone was made by some guy named Nicolas Flamel and he was currently over 600 years old. Harry's eyes widened. Oh the wonders of being able to live forever. He could do so many things in his life! Also the Stone makes anything pure gold. Hmmm ... what would happen if Harry turned all the food in the Great Hall into gold? Would Ron break his teeth while trying to chew? No sorry, inhale? Harry desperately wanted that stone. Fuck everyone else who got in his way. Interestingly enough, the text labeled the stone as the Philosopher's Stone. What a stupid name. Harry renamed it to the Sorcerer's Stone and the group stuck with that. Then, out of nowhere, Hermione asked Harry and Ron to find more information about the stone. Ron complained that they had already pretty much searched the entire library, but Hermione said they could find that information in the restricted section.

Fuck that. Harry had more important things to do, like finally see Ginny again! He and Ron were asked to come back to the Burrow for Christmas a few days ago, and the black haired boy was really looking forward to it. The Weasleys were supposed to pick the boys up the next day, but the kids were disappointed because the Weasleys at home decided to visit Charlie at the last minute. Harry was furious. He was really looking forward to spending time with his best friend, but that wasn't happening now. In order to calm himself, Harry went outside in the snow and started throwing snowballs at the Giant Squid in the lake. The monster was not happy. The beast attempted to grab Harry but couldn't because he was too far away. The next moment was something out of pure luck. A nearby student was walking along the lake when the squid grabbed him instead. The monster dragged him under the water and did not come back up. Harry decided to make himself scarce.

Christmas came a few days later and Harry was looking forward to what the day would bring. When he woke up, the boy rushed downstairs to find several presents waiting for him. He was genuinely surprised since his torturers ... I mean relatives ... never gave him anything. Funny enough Harry did see something from them: fifty cents in American dollars. Figures they would give him something useless. The next presents came from Ron (chocolate frogs and Bertie botts every flavor of beans), Hermione (a book about Quidditch), Mr. and Mrs. Weasley (a Weasley homemade sweater with his first initial on it), Ginny (a black scarf with gold snitches sewn throughout), and some other present that had a mysterious label on it.

"Hey Harry! Merry Christmas!" Ron said as he came downstairs.

"Merry Christmas, Ron!" Harry genuinely said. Ron started opening his gifts as Harry examined the mysterious package.

"What's that Harry?"

"I don't know. The card is weird. It says: Your father left this in my possession when he died. It's time that it be returned to you. Use it well. Hmm. This sounds like Dumbledore's doing."

"Who knows, Harry? Go ahead and open it." Harry did just that. Inside the package was some sort of magic cloak. Harry was confused but put it on. Ron was shocked because Harry had disappeared.

"My body is gone!" Harry exclaimed.

"Harry, do you know what that is? It's an invisibility cloak! They're really rare. Who's it from?"

"It doesn't say. It just says Use it well."

Later that night, when everyone had gone to bed, Harry snuck out. Thanks to this invisibility cloak, Harry could go anywhere. There was no limit to what he could do! Take food away from someone's plate, go into the girls locker rooms, steal McGonagall's hat, and sabotage Snape's storage room! And that was only the tip of the iceberg. Harry decided to just play it simple tonight and wander the school to see if there was anything cool he hadn't noticed before. He definitely wasn't going to the library that's for damn sure. After wandering through various hallways of various floors, Harry came across a door that held a very tall mirror.

Harry would have normally not even bothered with it, but looked anyway because it could have been magical. The boy dropped the cloak, and moved in front of the giant piece of glass. What he saw astounded him. His parents were in front of him. He finally could see what they looked like in person instead of only pictures. Just as he was about to enjoy their presence, the mirror changed. Instead of his parent's, Harry saw himself with Ginny and they were flipping Ron off. The boy started laughing after that. Then Ron disappeared and Ginny kissed him on the cheek. As if he felt it on his own skin, Harry touched his cheek. It felt warmer than it had a moment ago and he really liked that feeling. Finally the scene changed to Harry and ... Voldemort? Why the hell would he see him? On closer inspection it seemed that they were laughing and also flipping everyone off that they saw. Maybe Voldemort wasn't so bad after all? The images disappeared from the mirror and Harry was confused. Why had he seen all of those things?

"Find what you're looking for, Harry?" Dumbledore asked from the shadows. Harry screamed a little because he wasn't expecting the old man to be there.

"What are you doing here Professor?"

"I fancied myself a midnight stroll and wanted to see the mirror again. I take it that you know what it does by now?"

"You didn't really take a midnight stroll did you?"

"No. Now do you know what this mirror does?" Harry was a little pissed that Dumbledore was following him around. It's Christmas for fucks sake! Couldn't the old man just leave him alone? Harry decided to answer the old man's question.

"It shows us what we want, right? Whatever we want?"

"Well yes. And no. I'll give you a clue. If the happiest man on earth stood here and looked into the mirror, he would see nothing but himself." Harry was really confused now.

"The mirror shows us our deepest desires, Harry. Whatever matters to us most in hearts is what people will always see. Unfortunately many men and women have wasted their lives in front of the mirror, because what they see is not real. We will be moving this mirror tomorrow so that no one else can see it. It does not do well to dwell on dreams Harry." Dumbledore said as he moved to the door.

"Oh and out of curiosity, what did you see, Harry?"

"My parents. I never knew them or anything about them. I just wish they were here with me." Harry honestly said. He did keep the other information to himself, especially the stuff about Voldemort being his best buddy or Ginny kissing him.

"Ah. I'm sorry they are gone Harry, but at least you could see them today. Just know that they love you and are always watching over you." Harry nodded. He also tried his hardest to not cry.

"What do you see, sir? What does the mirror show you?"

Dumbledore decided not to reveal his true answer either, and instead revealed the other vision he always saw at the end.

"I saw a pair of socks Harry. I have everything I could ever want in my life, but my socks always disappear and I've never been able to keep any for more than a month. Maybe someday I can have a pair that won't leave me."

Harry was a little surprised that Dumbledore had admitted that, even though Harry knew he was lying through his teeth. Then again, Harry was also lying so he couldn't get on Dumbledore's case. After looking back at the mirror once more, Harry left as the vision of his parent's appeared. Dumbledore escorted Harry back to Gryffindor Tower and the door opened for him. As Harry got himself into bed, he reflected on everything he had seen. Did he really miss his parents? Did he want Ginny to kiss him, flip off Ron, and probably insult others? And finally, did he want Voldemort to be his friend? After thinking, Harry decided the answer was yes to every desire except for Voldemort. Harry needed to think on that one. As he went to sleep, Harry reflected on everything he saw in his dreams, except for Voldemort. That was a little too weird for his liking. All in all it was a great Christmas. He got the best Christmas gift ever, got to kill a kid by accident, and saw all of his greatest desires. Life was good for the moment, and that's exactly how Harry wanted it.